-ted

I've spent the last several years searching, hoping, and dreaming in what felt like a wasteland around me. I planted seeds in faith and trusted God for the miracle of bringing life out of barrenness. I could have grown bitter and disillusioned in the process, gotten angry at God for leading me into the desert. But instead, I grew still and tried to patiently sit at his feet, to wait in his presence and for his timing. It wasn't easy at all.

As I reflected today, I realized how blessed I am. I had a moment of insight today as I saw that my dreams were in full bloom all around me. I'm in a band with my best friends in the whole world. We get to create amazing music, purposeful lyrics and tight harmonies together. We get to lead worship in churches and play rock shows in coffee shops and bars. We get to be who we are no matter where we are. That's cool. And we're getting more and more opportunities to play and speak and sing all the time. And I get to create art using whatever I want. Photographs, paint, papers, even trash- I love using all the random bits to create something beautiful. I get to express ideas through art, and people can understand what I'm trying to communicate with it. I'm part of a few different art groups. I get to exchange ideas and learn and grow with other artists, and I have some really amazing opportunities coming up. I've been writing a book about Christ connecting the broken pieces and making something beautiful from the mess. I've gotten to encourage women with what I've learned, prayed with them for endurance in the midst of their difficulties. And I have some incredible opportunities to work with sexually exploited women soon.

The full weight of what God's been doing in my life took my breath away today. I'm finally seeing pieces fall into place. He knew all along, even though I didn't believe any of it could happen. And the crazy thing is that lately, I've been having even more ridiculous-sized dreams. It's like he's expanding my vision for what could be, as he brings it all together in front of my eyes. And all I can say is "thank you." I'm so humbled and grateful to be whole again.