Hello! This is your buddy Tom.

Repost this or I will delete Myspace.

AND

Along with this, I will personally drive to your house in my 83' Lamborghini, which I bought with the millions News Corporation (owner of Myspace and Fox News) has given me to pose as the sole charismatic founder of Myspace, and knock on your door. Sorry, but you can't hide from me. No answer and I bust the door in with your little dog fido. From there I will proceed to smash your household items starting with your mothers china cabinet down to your disgusting filth ridden toilet. After everything is smashed, I will douse the whole place with gasoline distilled from the concentrated life energy from millions of Myspace victims just like you. I will then burn the place to the ground from the inside.

About half way through the burn I will step out of the flames, still burning, my cold robotic exoskeleton slightly showing through my thin damaged human shell, all Terminator style.

I will step into the black night and wander the planet, wrecking havoc everywhere I look, Well, first I'll destroy the Facebook headquarters, BUT THEN I'll destroy the world.

Or you could repost this.

(by the way, all of those bulletins about 7 years of bad luck and never finding your true love, yea those were real too.)

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing
Crushing a can of pop. And luckily Ive never been kidnapped.

2) Are you happy with who you are?
He's ok. He needs to do his homework though.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
When I meet the right person I usually trip on some sort of tree root, discarded pop can, dog, or other object that would cause me to fall. When I meet the left person, I fly into the air and at about 25,000 feet begin to plummet back to earth at hundreds of miles per hour.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes, 5 times. Clumsy doctors really shouldn't use scalpels.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
Of course! I've said it before and I'll say it again, simple things like playing Go Fish or Tic Tac Toe, sometimes you gota cheat man, YOU GOTA! But hey, when it comes to Risk, or Monopoly, keep it pure.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Back where? Back to the game board? Depends on what game. Battle Ship? Sure, I'd just try and cheat better than them that time. Monopoly probably not. Sometimes you just can't play Monopoly with a cheater.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Smarterchild, the AIM bot.

8) Do you want children?
How much do they cost?

9) How many?
I would consider this the most vague question ever asked to me.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Is that the free version?

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
First, let's refer to the person who likes me as "X"

Heres how it would work:

I'm sitting at my house, pouring my soul into very truthful Myspace surveys. "X" Is riding a burning Harley Davidson Chopper down the street towards my house at full speed, Prior to this, "X" has set up a small army of zombies around my front lawn, who are at this point milling around aimlessly, Also set up is a large jump in the street pointing towards my house. As "X" nears my house, she should pull out dual shotguns from her leather overcoat. Hitting the jump now, "X" would fly through the air, taking down zombies with shotgun blasts. As the zombie fall, their bodies should form the words "i heart u". At this point "X" would crash through my roof, and we would make out. HARDCORE.

Or "X" could just tell me. Through interpretive dance.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Never heard of it. Is it distributed by Hasbro?

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
See 9. But by "Game" I assume you mean "Hard to get", seeing as other questions in this survey assume the meaning of the current question can be derived from the context of what the last question was, such as 9, see 12.

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
If the persons name is "love", sure.

15) Are you romantic?
I'm human.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
Yes, but genetic alterations can be dangerous.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be?
On Myspace.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
FEELINGS OF INTENSE neutralism. Towards Bill Clinton. So yes.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
No, slavery is illegal for a reason.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
I'm not a doctor. But I suppose I can be clumsy.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
POKEMON BATTLE YEA

22) What would you say about your last ex?
My last ex... how about my ex dog. He was a good ol' doggy. Good times. But tis all in the past now.