I got a new phone. But now my computer has crashed! My patience has been tested severely the last couple of weeks. Spring needs to come asap!!!! I cant wait. I always start to feel better then.

Well it's a new month and along with that, a new tragedy. One of my friends that I had through work killed himself this weekend. I don't know a lot about it so I'm leaving it at that. I just want to say that if anybody is reading this and thinking about killing yourself please seek help. If you have no place to go for help, contact me and I will help. Please remember, even if you think nobody in the world cares, there is at least one person that would do anything to keep you here with us. Over the years I have seen the damage that a suicide can do. My Grandpa Donnie killed himself and everyday I think about him and his life. He was  a veteran of the Korean war, a mason of 20 plus years and one of my role models. To me he was the very definition of the word tough. But after a lifetime of fighting I guess, he couldn't take being sick anymore. His suicide taught me that even the toughest people can feel weak and helpless at times. Every suicide has it's own story behind it. Every suicide has it's own way of showing how people can lose hope. No matter what your situation is find hope and keep it. My hope is with my daughter. Every time I feel down in the dumps I think of her. It is what keeps me going. So please if you are thinking of suicide, please just make one phone call to somebody, anybody. If they don't believe you, call somebody else and so on and so on. Just whatever you do, please get help.

Tonight I was watching PBS because I usually watch NOVA on Tuesday nights. I never realized how much of a science nerd, particularly space, that I am. Tonight was an episode about the black hole that was found in the center of our galaxy. If I had watched this episode when I was in school, I definitely would be on a different path than the one I am now. The rush I have right now is just below watching my daughter being born. I can't explain it, but if I were here's how I would explain it. I am nervous,excited,sad,happy,and on edge. I have so many questions and so many guesses. My soul feels like a black hole, sucking in the energy around me. Chances are I won't be sleeping very well tonight. My mind is racing thinking about the possibilities. I have always felt like there is something I am supposed to be doing with my life but I could never put my finger on it. Maybe I have found the answer, maybe.
All I can see is the blinking cursor in front of me.
This episode of NOVA to me was very informative and exciting. It may have opened my eyes to my future. I definitely will be checking out more space stuff. I already had Space.com bookmarked. I always go there to check out pictures of  space. One of my favorite summertime activities is checking out the sky in the middle of the night. Thank  you for taking time and reading this.  If you know me, I am very scatterbrained so a lot of this might not make sense to you, but it does to me.

I am happy it snowed for Christmas year. I'm even more happy to shovel the shit from my driveway! Nothing says fun like an hour or two of back breaking work! Everybody who wanted snow for Christmas can kiss my ass! You come and shovel my driveway. I guess that's what I get for living in Wisconsin.

Yahtzee is my favorite game to play. I play on average 20 games a week. At Corey and Nina's house we usually have a Yahzee party every Friday. We all sit around and drink beer,play Yahtzee,That's how we rollI have 2 one roll Yahtzees to my credit. About 3/4 of our inside jokes are Yahzee related. My friend Nina is really lucky at Yahtzee. If there was a Yahtzee tournament or league, she would win the championship. Recently on Attack of the Show, Kevin started talking about Street Yahtzee. It is very kickass, that this has hit the national level. My statsare 116 for an all time low, high score is 323. i prefer to get over 25 for a 3of a kind. My strategy is to get a least 3 of each number in the upper section to get my bonus.

Please evrybody share with me if you like Yahtzee and post your stats on my comments. Maybe we can find or start a Myspace group for Yahtzee players.

 

"Only weak men fear the consequences of their actions" . I forget where I heard that, but it has stuck with me for years now. I try on a daily baisis to follow these words. It has become my conscience. I see people on a daily basis run from their actions and it makes me sick. Society is run by people who blame other people. When something happens to somebody it's never their fault. It's always somebody else,or the governments fault. My life is hard enough without your problems too. Do me a favor and deal with it by yourself. Quit bitching about it.    It's your life, take control over it and never fear the consequences. People will admire, respect, and value you for it.