Consequences

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Hurt him and I'll hunt you down. Cheat on him and I'll make you regret it. Treat him like dirt and I'll fucking shoot you. That guy you're dating, He means a lot to me. I won't leave it unpunished if you hurt him. I'll hunt you down. I'll knock you to the ground. My ears will be blocked from your crys and begging. I'll choke you. I'll kick you. I'll shove my hand down your throat and rip out your tonsils. I'll rip your hand off And throw it to the hungry dogs. Then I'll stand back And let them rip you to pieces. I'll be completely protected. I have someone to protect me. But, where will your guy be? He'll be safe at home. Broken hearted, but alive and safe. I'll watch as the dogs bite your skin and rip out your throat. I'll watch as one pulls your decapitated head along the ground. I won't laugh, I promise I won't. But I'll be glad that you're dead. You, who caused so much pain. You, who don't know when you have a good thing right in front of you. I will stand and watch As your body begins to rot. Catching flys and maggots and every other creature That will devour your flesh.

Rejection and Betrayal

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What the fuck happened?!? How could you start dating her?!? I get the "don't do long-distance relationships" thing, But is that any reason to break my heart? I'm happy you're happy In all honesty, I am… But I DON'T WANNA FUCKING HEAR ABOUT HER!!!! You're going to the movies tonight, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! You spent the whole day with her and got detention. I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! You wanna break you own heart, Fine, it's your goddamn life! You don't wanna listen when I tell you  she'll hurt you?!? Fine, but don't expect me to be nice! I loved you so damn much! And you ripped my heart out! You fucking broke my heart! You expect me to take that lightly?!? You don't even listen when I tell you to protect yourself from her! GET A FUCKING CLUE! Girls who're needy and insecure like that ALWAYS Cheat and fuck other guys! You're just like my other friends! They don't listen and only get hurt BECAUSE they don't listen! You know what, when she breaks your heart, Don't be expecting me to take pity on you! Don't be expecting me to be too nice! Because that ain't gonna happen! You've been through this before, Yet you STILL insist on hurting me like this! There's the difference between you and me, You take pity and comfort the other person, I SAY "I TOLD YOU SO, YOU SHOULDA LISTENED!" You feel bad for them, I get pissed that they DIDN'T FUCKING LISTEN! Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want! Just don't expect me to be nice!

i miss how we used to talk,

i miss how we used to be.

i miss the thoughts that went through my head,

i miss your laugh and the way you speak.

i miss your sweetness

and how you used to seek me out

i miss the big words i didn't understand

and the joking we used to do.

i miss how you made me feel

i miss the many compliments.

i miss your voice and the slight accent.

i just plain miss you....

I'm tired of everyone asking me why i'm so depressed...you wanna know? keep reading...

Ok, i met this guy. We fell in love but hadn't started dating yet. He introduced me to a friend of his in which case they both treated me like shit. He told me on the sidelines that he "didn't hate me" and that he still loved me. At that time, since he apologized and said he didn't have time to warn me, i was the one to ask HIM out. For a couple of weeks, everything was good. we talked often, but his friends were still being asses and i should've been able to tell for myself that something was wrong since he didn't tell them to stop or anything. Actually, i had noticed and asked him about it... I thought we'd had a good conversation about it, but then he started pushing me away. I finally, after trying too hard to get his attention, gave him his space by dumping him. (It was SO hard to do that since he means so much to me) I became friends with one of his friends who was a guy and started dating him. And my ex was free to date someone i expected he'd start to date. Well, the relationship with the other guy didn't work out cause he's vain and lazy and doesn't care about anyone but himself. He didn't listen to me whenever i tried to talk to him. And, the relationship between my ex and his new gf didn't work out cause he was busy, she interupted him, he answered her rudely, she hit him, they argued, he left, he never got an apology. Now, he and i have been talking every night on the phone... i was remembering how terrible it felt to have him call me so many terrible things and not stand up for me, so, that's where one of my poems came from... Not to mention that because he has intimacy issues and pushed me away, all the dreams i had when i was dating him have faded away into nothing.... Every love poem on here, save for one, is meant for him... He keeps saying that he's not worth the tears i shed for the thought of his death... (He's not suicidal, but his body is falling apart at such a young age) He has lung trouble-trouble breathing- he fears death of lack of breath... So, he brings up him dying a lot.... and, of course, he went crazy recently and claimed he didn't love me and that 2 of our closest friends were imaginary. it broke my heart....really bad...he has my whole heart....and i'll never get it back... Anyway, our friend Lizzie told me she found a poem he wrote for me since i was his "flower" and he wrote flower metaphores (sp?) in it...i realized, through the poem, that he really does love me...but he just doesn't WANT me...to date me or anything.....I'm still dealing with feelings for him, but i'm trying to move on..

then, another guy came along...sweet as can be, different than any other guy i've ever met, actually LIKES "EVERYTHING" about me which i thought was impossible, sexual (which was great, to say the least  )....Don't know details on this one, but he hasn't been quite himself lately...i hope it's not permanent.. (i talked to him earlier today and saw glimpses of the old him, so, i assume he'll be back soon...) i never dated this one...but i really wanted to....

After him, yet another guy came along...He, too, was sweet, different, and a bit disturbing, which i liked...plus sexual , which was, well, a plus, lol..I fell for him...quickly, as always...eventually spoke my feelings to him...he let me down, but he was gentle in doing so, thankfully...he explained to me that he had a girlfriend whom he loved and that if he didn't, he wouldn't mind dating me...plus, he added he did have some feelings for me...it was just right before he left for 3 weeks and it's been tearing me apart for 2, so far.. i miss him lots...

another guy after him, recently i fell for, quikly, again...he's so...i dunno...there's just something about him that i like...despite the weirdness, lol...But he told me countless times he wouldn't date me and that he just wanted to be friends....even wrote a poem to that effect...it tore me to pieces...i read it last night and bawled my eyes out because it cut deep like a knife...

one guy, now, it's just a crush...but i'm expecting i'll probably fall for him, too, and get hurt really bad, as well...he's an awful lot like the last guy...

PLus, the guy i met before the first one whom i fell for, but it wasn't mutual, and he hurt me really bad by blocking me...

oh, and the other guy who i was dating when i met the first guy, too...he called me psycho for falling quickly, too, and he...blocked me, again... T_T

So, yeah, that's my sad extremely long story...

Any questions, message me...