My recursive personality keeps repeating, rewinding, deleting and rewriting my own history until I, eventually, get it right. But I'll never get it right because the way I tell a story and the way I live my life is through loops of experiences that repeat themselves with minimal difference each time. That barely perceptible difference that marks my growth, like rings of a tree. I keep repeating an experience until I get out of the groove and suddenly feel free to change. But, until then, the past will continue to cling to me harder the more I try to shake it off.

Have you ever been told that if you set your mind to it you can achieve anything?

That's a faslehood, and one that I personally believed for a long time. When I was young and told this, as were my siblings and friends, I believed it and set my mind to do things, and failed. Most of these things I wanted so badly but was still coming up short. And with these failures came feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing.

Sometimes we fail at things because we are just not well suited for them. But we are seldom told such things when we are young. The maxium that we can do anything if we set our minds to it is so absolute and so often reinforced that when we follow it and fail, we are left with one conclusion: There must be something wrong with me. Many of us struggle with these feelings of insecurity throughout our whole lives, and they affect our relationships, the way we progress professionally, the way we manage our time and whether we dream or dont dream.

If the lie is that you can do anything you set your mind to, then what is the truth? Some would say cynically, "you CANT do anything you set your mind to." But they too would be wrong. The truth: We are all capable of extrodinary things, but each of us is different. That doesnt make any of us bad or deficient- just human. Finding the things that we are better suited for, and over time the things we are BEST suited for, is one of the great adventures of life and I have found the source of a great deal of happiness.

(This however does NOT in any way take away from the greatest "If at first you dont succeed try and try again." It's just that after the third time find a new source of happiness....lol)

        Every Woman Should

                           Know how to use a stick shift;

                                          A plunger;

                         Understand the difference between

                                      don't tell a soul-

                            and don't tell a soul, I mean it;

                                Know her mind; Change it;

                                  Have protection handy;

                                     But, not to handy;

                                            Use special china;                           

                                   and special underwear;

                                         for no reason;

                              Over commit; Come through;

                            Refuse to do it again; do it again;

                                Have better things to do;

                                       Set boundaries;

                                 Go camping... at least once;

                                       Grow something;

                                    Dance crazy all alone;

                                      Stare at a phone;

                               Get dressed in five minutes;

                                 Be a princess; get over it;

                          Believe in the perfect man;

get over it;

                                     Read; Walk; Flirt;

                                    Shock; Sing; Listen;

                                         Thank God;

                               Be single and like it; alot;

                                    Raise a child; or not;

            See a wrinkle and be reminded of her youth,

not her age.

     I've been on a merry-go-round and through the revolving doors alot. I'm ready to stand still now. I've seen things that you couldn't imagine, and done things that I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a doer rather then a thinker; I tend to follow my blood which doesn't always flow in the direction of my head. So, I've made alot of mistakes, alot of bad calls. And yet... you seem to be the only thing I've ever really been sure of. I'm not asking you for anything. When I tell you that I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you- It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try...I've seen your strengths and your kindness, and a few weakness'. I've seen the best and worst of you and I understand exactly what you are-

One hell of a person!

i love my baby sister emily!!! shes just soooooo spertaculious.(as she may call her self!)

but shes also a feeler.... so be nice and leave her some love.... i know i will!!!!!

lol...

 i love u emily

love u miss u mean it!!