Of course we've all seen these little notices, outside restaurants, movie theaters, public places of commerce. However, I can guarantee that almost none of us has ever seen a shirtless, shoeless person even try and enter into one of the aforementioned places. I'm sure most of us are pretty content with that as well. My big question? Why is it, when Americans go abroad, all logic and caution are thrown to the wind. Do people really stop and think, "This would never fly in the U.S.....but the Caribbean, on the other hand...". To be honest, even a small notion of thought would be somewhat reassuring. Sadly, I can guarantee you there is no thinking or brain cells involved at all. During tourist season (roughly now until April), between one and four cruise ships will pull into port in St. George's. Like any other cruise, they dock for the day, and swarms of Americans in their knee-high socks, Tommy Bahama shirts, tennis visors, and fanny-packs wander aimlessly throughout Grenada. I think it's fabulous that cruise lines are promoting Grenada, tourism is extremely crucial in our economy, and it's beautiful here. As ridiculous as some of the passengers look--at least they choose to get dressed in the morning! Today, though, I managed to catch sight of a group of 3-4 cruise passengers walking around town in only their bathing suits. The men were shirtless, and the women were in their bikini tops, or one-piece suits with sheer, barely-there sarongs tied around their waist. In case you were unsure, town is not the beach. The beach is the beach. In town, there are businesses, the market, banks, shops, government offices. It is a place of commerce. Would walking around like that be acceptable in New York? Chicago? LA? No. It most certainly would not. So what does it take to make ignorant people comprehend respect for cultures and an understanding of what is or is not appropriate? Could a manual on dresscode possibly apply? How about locking up people's brains in the safety deposit box when they enter the ship. I am not entirely convinced that people don't misplace them often when on vacation. My favorite idea? Cruises should have check-points on the way off the ship. It's early morning, the ship has docked in a beautiful tropical location, everyone's excited to leave the ship, explore a new place for a few hours....and there it is, in plain view!  There is a sign on the door that says, "No Shirt, no Shoes, No Setting foot off this ship!" It would be like back in junior high when they banned the "Big Johnson" t-shirts, and teachers would make guys change into their gym uniform if they were dressed inappropriately. Cruise ships could have mu-mus. If you decide to dress too skimpy, we'll change that...here's a nightgown like what your grandmother used to wear in 1953. Now who's feeling sexy... I think it's a great idea, and sadly, somewhat necessary. Moral of the story? Life's a beach ONLY on the beach. Everywhere else? COVER UP!

Three fans, 4 weeks. Yes, I have gone through 3 brand-spankin'-new fans in just about 30 days. It's almost one brand-new fan per week. Let me review my fan etiquette with you. I pay $90-100EC for a brand new fan, bring it home, take care of it, never leave it on all day (but even if I did want to--it should still work), and at about the hottest point during the day (or night), it decides to internally combust. Fan #1 started smoking after 4 short days. Fan #2, (which I seriously think was fan #1 repaired because the store was too cheap to give me a new one), was about 7 days. Fan #3, my longest record yet, was about 2 weeks. When I met fan #3, I thought it was love at first sight. A fan in the Eastern Caribbean is to a Peace Corps Volunteer what a jug of cold water would be to a dehydrated nomad in the desert. It's inexplicable and incredible...when it's not smoking or internally combusting. Now the complicated issue comes about when these said fans break. The stores where you buy them are not very receptive to exchanges/returns. In fact, most of them will not do either under any circumstance. So naturally, you run the risk of this turn of events. Of course you are wondering why I would continually purchase defunct fans. Well, in store #1, after fan #1 broke, a good enough fight lead to fan #2 at no cost. There was a lapse in about 3-4 days between fan #1-2, which leads me to believe, store #1 tried to "pretend" fan #2 was not actually a repaired fan #1. Of course, when fan #2 started smoking just days later, I believe our conclusions were right on track. The repair of fan #2 is still in question. Now, onto fan #3. Fan #3 was bought from store #2. Store #2 seemed to have much better customer service, and the price was better. They guaranteed me it would last months or years. Sadly, it was mere weeks. First thing Monday, fan #3 will be returned, and hopefully, the interactions will be successful. Of course, the big question...why don't I buy somewhere where I know I can get better warranties? These fans, when working, are the best out there. You cannot find fans this strong in regular stores. They're like the Jetta of fans....when they're functioning, they're incredible. When they're not...well, yes, exactly what is happening now. I have the curse of the metal fan! Could it be that not sweating constantly in my apartment was a bad thing? I definitely don't need reminding of the heat outside. I guess, it leads me to the conclusion than I have to divorce metal fans...as powerful and cooling as they are, I'm seriously convinced I will burn my apartment down! Not good. So now, I have no choice but to retreat to my boiling hot room for a night of restless sleep dreaming of cooling fans...Sweet dreams!

 9. You consider yourself a success every time you walk down the road and do not get hit by one of the many speeding buses to town.

 8. You’ve eaten parts of animals you never knew existed.

 7. Frogs jump up at you in your sink while washing dishes.

 6. A gift of only toiletries seems heaven-sent.

 5. You forget what it’s like not to sweat constantly.

 4. You wouldn’t think of leaving home without your sweat rag.

 3. You start scheduling meetings “just now”. (See Grenadian dialect for definition)

 2. You’d rather pick out small insects from food than throw out the entire meal. After all, you spent good money on it!

 1. You write silly lists like this that mostly everyone won’t get except you!

Living in the West Indies can certainly be an ego boost on even your worst day. Without fail, as a woman, you will be solicited for sex multiple times per day. However, being that people are fairly conservative, they will merely ask if you would like "company". Of course, it's not always blatently asked in the normal volume that one would use in conversation. It's usually muttered as one is passing by, and when she turns to look at the person, soliciting this extra-curricular activity, it is then followed by a wink, smile, or mischievious look. How old are these said solicitors? In my experience, I would say they range from about 12 years old to over 65. Yes, come one and all, children young and old, birds and bees. Now you may be wondering who else is around when these said interactions occur? Sometimes their children, family, friends. Apparently, it has become as cliche as "how are you". It is also not uncommon to hear cat-calls, or what they call as sips. The sucking teeth sound is also used to get attention. I've had to limit the amount of sound effects I respond to, because it really can become quite annoying at times. It's ridiculous when it's students, and as a teacher, I have to lay down the law. Unacceptable! (To which I get a "Sorry Miss".) So moral of the story? If you're ever feeling lonely and you're having trouble hitting a home run back home? Come to the Eastern Caribbean....where everyone gets a chance at bat...

Frogs here, frogs there, frogs are jumping everywhere.

So I learned the other night that in order to get spiritual with the ten plagues, I apparently had to join Peace Corps. This brings me back to my Passover days with my family...reciting the horrible plagues that the Egyptians went through with Moses, yada yada. I'm sure you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe I should elaborate a bit. I’m talking Bible here….frogs, locusts, tempests, darkness…

A few nights ago, I was sitting on my couch reading a great book. With my great peripheral vision, I catch a glimpse of something peering in under my side door. Convinced it was a shadow of some kind, I did not think much of it. However, it continued to move, so I decided it needed further exploration. Low and behold, I opened the door and was bombarded by a family of small toads hopping into my apartment! Apparently, these little creatures decided my place was much more desirable than Grenada’s great outdoors. I managed to collect a select few, and I thought by releasing them out my front door, I would buy some time of frog-free-ness. However, these smart little toads have figured out that they are small enough to crawl under closed doors. So naturally, it can either be the front door or the side door. The architecture of my building is of no importance to them. Again, the next night, I had visitors. I’ve decided to give up the fight. They’ve proved themselves, and I surrender. So yes, I have some unaccounted-for amphibians hopping around my kitchen. Cest la vie.

Now, this brings me to wonder? Are we approaching the end of the world, here? In Grenada, we are already blessed with locusts, sand-flies, mosquitoes—basically every type of pestilence you can imagine. We’ve also had bad storms (Hurricanes Ivan and Emily). Now we have a surplus of frogs. What’s next? I suppose I’ll wait until a see some slaying of first-born sons…then my next step? A one-way ticket home…

It took moving to Grenada to realize I was white. Previously, I had considered myself the politically-correct color of Caucasian, but no! I’m actually white! I’m fairly certain that the color Caucasian does not exist down here. You’re black, red, or white. However, even the color black has its sub classifications: lighter skinned, darker skinned, and very black. “(Gasp!) How could you say such things!”, most of you are thinking. However, it’s not me, it’s all of Grenada. In fact, it’s very nonchalant, and considered inoffensive. In my village, I’m officially the white lady, and I couldn’t tell you half of the people that know who I am. So you’re saying I stand out? While in the village of Gouyave--about 45 minutes drive the other night--I was in a little tuck shop. A friendly man asked if I lived there, and I kindly explained that I actually lived in St. Paul’s and was passing through. He knew exactly where I had moved and into which apartment, because his cousin lives there and said a white lady had moved in. Now it should also be noted that the classifications are itinerant! For instance, with my best tan, I can be considered red. That is always exciting, except when I wince in agony while applying aloe to alleviate my severe sunburn. Oh the length we go to for integration…