sitting
in the dressing room in middlesbrough. writing a blog that's 2 days late. maybe
3. i'm on a tour calendar so time has no place or context in my life anymore.
it could be monday. it could not be. i'm trying to piece together the fucked up
jigsaw that has been the weekend. ....
we
met attack attack and our mobile home at midnight on thursday and quickly got
to work reacquainting ourselves properly over a bottle of vodka and iain's
unifying djing skills. probably not the wisest move considering the early start
we had friday for the kerrang acoustic show. we winged that one
semi-succesfully, screwing up a mere 4 out of 5 songs. butchering hot n cold by
katy perry aswell as some choice victims from our glistening back catalogue.
luckily, our costumes and the most moist halloween cake ever took the edge off
and distracted the assembled throng. it was a damn good time, so thanks to loz
at kerrang for the brilliant cup of tea (really was) and a lovely spread and to
all for their high spirits.
we
sauntered over to the o2 academy in birmingham where we were greeted by the
cherubs in funeral for a friend and fightstar and young guns. started off
brilliantly as a musical evening and ended quite fuzzily as a race to
half-death. it was quite a nice way to start tour, really. we drank some drinks
and chewed some fat with old and new friends. tore through the venue and the
bus in a cape and one devil horn (oh, just me? uh yaaah,ok). the show itself
was notable by its vibe, so thanks to everyone in the crowd for reminding us
what it's like to play an awesome show and have a good time with other humans.
you danced and sang and bounced and it made us feel all warm and gooey inside
like a greggs festive slice. apologies to whoever was throwing glowsticks at
the stage. it's not my fault i have the agility and reflexes of a futurecat.
good times.
saturday
was coventry. we've never been there before and OH, what an experience it was.
the venue was decked out (no expense spared) for halloween. the show was
probably the hottest, wettest experience of my life. this, combined with a lack
of electrical plugpoints near the stage made for a bit of tumultuous experience
with wiring. by this, i mean that i got electrocuted halfway through the set
and heard my teeth rattling in my head. not good. i should thank everyone who
made the effort to dress up. we neglected our duty to do so due to poor time
management and a general lack of coordination or organisation. i did plan to go
as andrew wk, but i couldn't find a suitable wig. sorry. you all looked lovely.
the party that followed was a bit of a wild one so i decided - quite
uncharacteristically, might i add - to retire to the bus to enjoy a nice
asparagus and mushroom pizza and a few movies. get me!.
day
off in coventry followed. oddly hangoverless. didn't feel quite right. a bit
unnerving. like i'd been abducted and sent back to earth. i ventured into the
city regardless, to investigate. i was quite charmed by a nice little tudor
area with all dem crooked buildings and tingz. that was nice. bought nothing
and went to see fantastic mr fox, which rocked my fucking face clean off my
skull. amazing. the boys went for curry and i thought better of it. we're on
tour. there are strict rules in a certain closet of our bus which revolve
around the numbers 1 and 2. one of which is acceptable and the other, not
so.
today
i find myself in middlesbrough. i dropped an astonishing £4.51 in wilkinsons.
that actually excited me. i'm so bored that soundcheck is actually about as
exciting to me right now as the smiths reforming and playing their greatest in
the corner of my bedroom while megan fox pours liquid gold into diamond
encrused goblets and bays at the moon.
i
don't know who's gone out of x factor, but please god let it be the welsh boy
who's setting our nation back centuries with his neanderthal post-song
rambling. stop calling cheryl cole 'babe' on national tv. stop saying tidy.
stop existing. stop singing. go away. i know where you live. you're not
fireproof.
neil
from attack attack is my gambling hero. he just keeps winning. it's like he got
the almanac from back to the future 2 and brought it on home. i'm
jealous.
i
can feel the linear form of this blog crumbling in front of me. we attempted a
bit of a horror movie marathon to celebrate all hallow's eve. we watched
lindsay lohan teeter on the brink of nudity in 'i know who killed me'. anyone
seen it? probably the most quotable film i've seen, well, ever. i recommend
anyone who hasn't seen it, buys it from hmv at once. £3 pound that keeps on
repaying you until your emotionally satisfied beyond your wildest dreams.
i'm
out.
x