Earning over 13 million dollars per season, Kiefer Sutherland is the highest paid TV actor because he
made
Jack Bauer, and millions watch him. Jack Bauer is different than
Norris. Chuck is all about round-house kicks, cowboy martial arts,
using a rattle snake as a condom, eating horrible things, and strength;
Bauer is all about shooting people in the face, and (us wanting him to)
torture the bad guys, also giving his word, going dark, and fighting
for justice while being chased by BOTH the good guys and the bad guys
at the same time Jack's chasing them. And Jack shits on Martial Arts,
and never eats or uses birth control. He even gets hurt and repeatedly
killed and resurrected, while Chuck Norris could never survive getting
killed. It's really quite a different genre than Chuck Norris Facts,
specially for fans of Jack Bauer. And who is not a fan of Jack Bauer?
Even Mother
Mary watches "
24".
Just to give some comparison, Chuck Norris knows good and well WHO Jack
Bauer is, but Jack Bauer has never even heard of Chuck Norris! - which
is just fine by Chuck.
Difference in fighting styles
Chuck Norris uses the Round-house-kick, a branch of
Kung Fu.
Jack Bauer uses OVER-WHELMING BRUTE FORCE, a branch of Rocky Marciano.
Primary differences
Jack Bauer CAN actually act!!!
Chuck Norris can NOT act!!!
Jack Bauer doesn't consider it sex unless he gets to be on the top.
Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex unless he gets to be on the bottom.
Jack Bauer is a cool-hipster-patriot.
Chuck Norris is a red-neck hill-billy.
Jack Bauer is All-American.
Chuck Norris is 95% Indian and 5% Mexican.
Jack Bauer Facts are documented, scientific TRUTH.
Chuck Norris Facts are just preposterous nonsense.
Bauer says, "Who ever said you can't fight terror with Terror, never watched 24!"
Norris says, "Who ever said you can't fight illegal immigration with round-house kicks, never watched, Walker, Texas Ranger"
Bauer's job is to protect the United States border.
Norris' job is to protect the Texas border.
Norris counted to infinity! Meanwhile Jack Bauer killed a finite number of terrorists.
Norris got whipped by Bruce Lee! Meanwhile Jack Bauer killed Bruce Lee.
Norris is glad when people say, "you don't know jack!" Meanwhile, Jack Bauer couldn't care less if people say, "You don't know Carlos!"
Primary Similarity
If Chuck Norris has $5 and Jack Bauer has $5, they're BOTH still filthy-rich.