New Year's Evolutions

It turns out that figuring out what you need in this life is more easily or at least more systematically determined by figuring out what you don't need in this life.  Toward that end, and as part of a yearly commitment to organize myself I have begun an "out with the dismantled, un-useful, broken, lame and done - and in with the mantled, useful, whole, less lame and that which is undone and needs done-ing campaign. This is a list of what I'm letting go of – along with the year 2007…

1.         Unnecessary and superfluous words that denote my voluminous vocabulary.

2.        Watching "Behind the Scenes of the Making of… anything."

3.        My Sarcasm… yeah, right.

4.        Numbered lists of any kind.

E.        My organizational skills which tend to resemble the planning and execution skills of a rummed up toddler.

F.       Using my car as a purse.

G.      My need to control…everything –"knock, knock, ..who's there?…control freak-WAIT- now when I say control freak you're suppose to say – control freak who…"           

H.       Cussing ALL the Damn time...it's so f-ing low brow…

I.         Pizza coupons – enough so that if India decided to drop by for dinner – I'd be set.

J.         E-mails about health conditions I don't have but I think you might have.

K.        My invention of a set of  " 'riting and 'rithmatic glasses to go along with my reading glasses.

L.        Arching my neck and sucking in my gut when I pass by any reflective surface.

M.       Corn skewer thingys

N.        My invention of a right handed handle to flush toilets.

O.        My invention of "Get Hell" balloons for mean sick people.

P.         My wish to be in a rock band called "The Bunchin' Undies" or "Anal Leakage" or "Lucian Mucous". 

Q.         A Broken drumstick -waiting in my stick bag for when I get a matching broken drumstick because I somehow, feel sorry for it being all alone like that.

R.         Crazy Glue with the cap glued on- because there's some left and I believe I can unstick the cap to get to the remnant - but cripes, it's Crazy Glue!

S.         My invention of the 8 track tape IPOD.

T.         My invention of a screen saver that is a picture of the back of my head so people think it's me - actually there-  working - when actually, I'm not.

U.        Soy sauce and hot mustard packets that have mated and spawned with other condiment packets (including an old "Jack in the Box" catsup packet) in the forgotten condiment drawer.

V.        My need to eidort everything I write -resulting in most of my delays.

W.           ...Bush.

X.             ...Box.

Y.             ...because we like you..................M....O.....U.....Sssssss

Z.

(you may only get the last four if you read them out loud -and watched the Mickey Mouse Club...okay, now chuckle quietly...oops, sorry -controlling)

Thanks for letting me amuse myself - I feel purged. Oh yeah, my new album True North will be here (really) in Mid January. I'm so excited, I'm going to just tinkle!  See you along the way.... Lisa