lots of people wouldnt know this but i do suffer from depression. i feel sad all the time and it just kills me everytime and  hate it. I was actually ready to kill myself no matter what the consequences or how people around me felt. i was ready and i havnt felt that since i was a kid for many reasons that only a few people know but since i met Evan things have changed. I do still feel depressed but not as often and those thoughts have left my head once again cause i know he cares about me alot. its a strange feeling that i have never felt before and i like it and i like that this is the man to bring me this feeling. it mayhave only been like 2 months but i can truly say that i am falling for this man. he has something i dont see in other people and when i am in his arms i feel like we are the only two and a big smile just goes over my face. The only thing that is killing me is the distance..... ofcourse but we are working through that and he is pushing me to go to college... which i am actually thinking about now. There are alot of people who help me but Evan is just my man and the only person for me. Thank you Evan.. i miss you alot and i cant wait to see you again.

sincerly

jer

ps. I actually started to cry during this. happy tears of course

so its almost the end of my highschool career and im off to do whatever i choose.

right now i am dealing with an ex whole stole one of my most precious things i value. the evil mother fucker stole my camera and wont give it back and i have no idea what the hell im going to do about cept get a new one... but how i have no job and no ssc so it all goes down the fucking toilet till i get that. tim you suck!!!!!

other than that right now i have lost a friend who i thought was my friend and yet again got backstabbed just like tosha who is a cunt... anyways i have gained a couple of new ones some i can trust and even gained a really good guy in my life who i can see truly likes me for me and tries his hardest to keep it in his pants. Evan is so handsome and sweet and no one will take him away! hehe

but right now is just sad cause i have just learned that one of my oldest friends had just passed away in seattle. it was almost one year till he was hit by a car and last night he past away at the age of 23 in his sleep. i miss kyle very much and i wish he was still here so i could give him one last high five to the sky or something cheesey like that. but all i can do now is hope for the best towards his fam and smile...

its what he would want me to do

thanks

waiting

what do you think about when you see those words? think deep and hard. is it ok?......... really?

thoughts can be taken for granted but the best are written down.

As some of you know four really good friends were in a car wreck monday night and two of them are in horrible shape. Preston and Corey. Preston was driving and was heading out of the interstate and got t-boned by another vehicle.

corey was thrown from the car and was lifted to UK for treatmet and Preston suffered from two punctured lungs, broken pelvis and two broken legs and i think his spline was bursted as well and corey is in the neuro unit and is suffering from head trauma and has close to no brain activity. Megan was also in the car and suffered from a broken collar bone and the pain that corey and preston are in the hospital. shan another friend escaped with a couple of bruises. please pray for them for me and i will get to them. I havnt got the cahnce to see them and preston is like  damn brother to me and idont wantanything but a good recovery fo the both of them. It makes me sad that thishad to happen and everyone should learn that a car is not a toy. Although i is fun to go fast!!! Just keep them in your prayers for me and i will do the same for you if somethinglike this happened to either you or a friend. later days and plenty of love and peace!

-jer