I dont usually do this...

however i guess the board has made its choice

so as the speaker

im here to ask for help

I contain a plethora of greviances and suggestions, wishes and failures, secrets and lies...

"why not just spill it then brother?"

well thats a good question

my answer

i cannot

i dislike sharing information

my nature

my habit

i am the bottle

and i fill myself up

im sure you know what i mean

its not healthy

obviously

but i dont smoke

and i rarely drink

and never to excess

and other vices i do not partake in

so then

my question is thus

what do i do?

this is it friends

im down to the last straw

an act of desperation?

perhaps

desperate times call for desperate measures

whatever

ive reached the low of tolerance not to care

even as i write this

i find what im typing pointless

but

it never hurts to try

does it?

im sure it does

but i digress

thank you for those who help

and im ever so sorry for wasting your time

be off with you

have a nice day

im getting a stange feeling in my gut
ive been so fucked up latley
(lately=long time)

and after all that time
i have this longing

a longing do to something meaningful
a longing to fly
a longing for longing
a longing to smile

i just hope the feeling isnt premature
if it is
ill leave it in the oven

but i reeally want it to come out

a few more days, a few more papers, a few more sleepless nights, and a few more hundred dollars!

After 2007 ended, I was left alone to think about whats been going on with my life. Many things have changed very quickly.

I am very grateful for the end of my high school days, but I'm more grateful to those I shared it with. Even if the physical space is gone, the mental hallways and classrooms will never leave my mind. My freinds, Loves, and Teachers will live on as long as I am allowed to live.

Since that time, my life has become something that starts when your very young. I feel like I've had to learn how to walk again. No one ever said life was easy, but I dont think that you can say that. Becasue it is just that easy.

Simply put, I've had to confront many dungeons in my heart. It honestly felt like I wanted to die. Some events have led me astray and some have guided me to survive.  Whatever happend, and whatever shall happen, I can't stop that. And I can't stop untill its time.

There are things that I must embrace, before I can move on. I dont think I'll be able to fully recover for a long time. However, this may be the way it has to be. Every story has an end, and not all of them have a happy ending. Sometimes, the stories that teach us the greatest moral, the people who have the greatest impact on your life, doesnt have a million dollars, or wear the coolest clothes, or can sing or dance; simply, they are human. I am human.

Throughout my life, I have had sweet notions whispered in my ear. "I Love You", "Your The Greatest", "You make me Happy", "I'm Proud of You". Such things have slowly begun to teach me that despite what I am and what I do, that I am capable of influence.

For you, who have lost faith in me, I'm truly sorry that I was unable to keep my self constant. I pray that my absence does more good than bad.

Before I leave, I am also grateful to my new freinds, and I hope that I may be something as wonderful for you, as you are to me.

Regrets, are a part of life. Embrace them. Do not run away. I think, one thing that I will admit, is that I regret not being able to be as blunt as I claim. Maybe if I were more honest, I would have recieved what I wanted.

I did it once, as a child. I was in a tube, in the river, my back in the water. My head proped on one side. The sun was amazing. Warming me, and cooking thoughts in my head. Slowly I'd turn them over. What a smell; how delicious. I've never come across that beauty since.

Anyway, I dont know how long this will go on, but I plan to live, even if its not this way, or that way, or highway, or whatever way; I'm going to live. If I'm sad, I'm sad, if I'm happy, I'm happy. I'm not going to fight the river. I'm going to enjoy the ride.

You who reads this,

"Dont ask for it. Go out and win it. Do that, and you'll be rewarded!"

                                                                                           -Holland

This has been me, Marcos. I'll be seeing you.

Its has come to my attention...after much and steady research, that aside from the basic principals and foundation...no man or woman alive knows how to REALLY skank. Its like "enlightenment". You just cant reach it. Everyone seems to have thier own way to skank. Some get hit preety hard casue other shmoes think that they're skank is weak. But, as far as i have seen, its not cohesive. There is ALWAYS a difference in EVERYONES skank. My point then is this:

Skanking is not like any other dance. It involves a hidden art that only the mind understands and then corrdinates into the body, and can only be ENJOYED with the willingness to accept the passion of the music. Finally, Ska is supported by UNITY. Im not going Barney on you guys, but im just saying that, if you go around talking shit about other peoples skank styles, your a bunch of assholes, and not the good kinds. If you want them to change, then YOU skank YOUR best and maybe they will LEARN from YOU! I know casue I take a few pointers from what I see. Fuckin Rudies till we die, hell yea, but lets show everyone else how its done. Unity within skanking--THATS WHAT MAKES MOSH PITS THE SHIT!!

ULTIMATELY: WE CAME TO SKANK, TO FEEL GOOD!! WE DONT NEED SHIT ABOUT WHOS DOING WHAT RIGHT. WHO GIVES A FUCK? JSUT FUCKIN' SKANK!!

Thanks for reading! NOW GET SKANKING!

I think I may be O.C.D.

  the little things are bothering me

1 lines, 2 lines, 3 lines, 4...

  the road has yellow lines galore

Its not enough that I steam the sheets

  or arrange the cheese with my sandwich meats

Or that I wash each dish thrice

  or shampoo five times in case of lice

My room is organized and neat

   Mom never complains--so thats a treat

She thinks I may be too serious

  I really hope she is'nt hearing this

I can organize and arrange the physical in life

 but I can't seem to clean up my strife

Nonetheless, the world needs more guys like us

 Spotless and dazzling, so why do you fuss?

---This July, the Second, In the Year of Our Lord, 2007

---------------------------Marcos Martinez

Of seeds and time which is on the soil over turned anew

My legs, grasshopper bent, as if to leap into the skys of blue

Warm in my palm, a cute seed

True to itself--its need--to feed

Water and Sun--elements on the Earth

Missing is one nutrient not of an Earthly birth

Love in truth, sees with blind eyes

Will slowly--happily--painfully--make this seed grow wise

To race against a sapling, the difference is minute

Against a young tree, its a card of a different suit

With the winds, the rain, and the drought

The seed will gain knowledge and reign over doubt

Only then when time has passed, and the seed--no longer--now a tree

Together, with its other, will bear fruit--forever--happily.

---This July, the Second, In the Year of Our Lord, 2007

---------------------------Marcos Martinez

(Let it be known that the first two stanzas rhyme with each other and NOT within each other--that is the last stanza)

To the world you are a blur

Vivid, beautiful, unique

Around you, my heart is drunk

You seem so fast, but I am like light to you

Shy I may seem, my Great Wall of China falls for her

You, a masterpiece, se manufique!

But you're so slow my heart has sunk

I made a choice, why can't you?

The moon decides to move the sea

To be the sea--my wish--its true

And you the moon, choose to move me

I made a choice, why can't you?

Epilouge: Make the Choice to Stop Indicisiveness

---This July, the Second, In the Year of Our Lord, 2007

---------------------------Marcos Martinez

I do not value my poetic work

Odd for me--Im slightly conceited

To David Blaine I'd give my work

And he'd hide it where no one could see it

I simply believe I'm not up to par

That others could replace the slot im in

My work--estrange--and black like tar

Others have it brilliant like diamonds.

---This July, the Second, In the Year of Our Lord, 2007

---------------------------Marcos Martinez