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♥ Meyli ♥ [Follow: Twitter.com/MissMeyli]



Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Engaged
Age: 24
Sign: Aquarius

City: Baltimore
State: Maryland
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/17/2003

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Friday, June 05, 2009 

Current mood:  awake
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Attention:
My 360,753 Awesome MySpace Friends...



Please take a second to vote for my dear friend Lisa Angeline in this contest.

She is one of the sweetest, most selfless people that you'll ever meet.

Not to mention, drop-dead gorgeous!!! :)

Listed below is the link to vote for her.

You'll need to register with your e-mail, which will give you instant access and then you can vote every 2 hours.

Voting ends June 30th.

Thank you for taking the time to help her out!!!

Click the link, or the picture to go register and vote!


THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!

I love you all!!!

XOXOXO

~Meyli~

3:11 PM 
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Friday, February 06, 2009 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging




I've never considered myself to be a mean person.  In fact, most who know me would say I'm very kind-hearted and nice.  So it takes a lot for somebody to make me into a mean person, but I figured I'd share - if only for your entertainment.

I hate to put someone on blast like this, but I've got to rant, lol.

As many of you may know, I'm strictly a bartender now, but I used to model actively, and go-go dance.  Go-go dancing is not stripping.  It's merely wearing cute outfits and dancing to elevate and maintain the vibe of the club.  I wouldn't consider it to be a scandalous activity.  Back when I worked at Rock Bar, we were required to dance on the bar sometimes and had to wear outfits that were much more eyebrow-raising than what I would wear go-go dancing!  Anyways, that is beside the point.  So I had been posting bulletins and status changes all week of how I'm going to go-go at LuX tonight for this one time only (bartending is my true passion), and this fellow Donald decides to write me a message.

If you do not have the stomach for outrageous run-on sentences, then look away.

Donald (9:51am):  so going to sell your soul for money that makes me sad

I explained to him that go-go dancing is not stripping and that I felt he had me mistaken.

Donald (10:51am):  yes i know what it is because your selling your body dancing around semi naked or all naked so guys can look at you instead of finding a guy who will truly love you and respect you

I reiterated to him that I felt he was not really aware of what go-go dancing is.  I also informed him that I had been with my boyfriend of 2 years who does love and respect me.

Donald (11:21am):  if i was that guy i leave you in a second for that go go dancing your about to do you either have no respect for urself or your bf thats what i see look at this way its no better then being a hooker no offense
just trying to explain it to you

After being called a hooker, I decided that I had heard enough.  I went onto his MySpace page to see who this Yahoo was that he felt he could attack me like that.

Donald is 33 years old and resides in New Jersey.  His MySpace status is "depressed"  . 

His "About Me" section reads:  I want a woman who who is
romantic,compassionate,honestand someone who doesnt play games. Someone that can be my best friend and then one day my wife.

I was simply amazed from the use of the shift key and punctuation on his MySpace page because it seemed from his messages to me that his keyboard must have broken since.



Oh, and his top friends consist of random pretty girls on MySpace.

So I wrote Donald back with this:

Meyli (12:35pm):  I'm sorry that you are a loser and have no actual friends, judging from your MySpace page, but you honestly know nothing about my life and it's very presumptuous of you to be so quick to judge.

Was I a bit harsh?  Abso-fuckin'-lutely.  I do feel bad about it now, but hey, he came at me like that and I was done playing nice.

I understand if you don't fully understand or approve of what I do.  But there's a proper way of expressing your opinions without coming off like a complete tool.

Prepare yourself for some pretty crazy run-on sentences.  They will boggle the mind!

Donald (1:19pm):  look whos talking your life is so cheap you got to whore urself around for guys like a whore but knowing you u been a whore ur whole life take urself off my friends list hooker my friends are women only something you dont know about and will never know about hooker free zone bye have a great life

I was away at lunch until about 2pm.  You know, because I have a job?

But I guess he really flew off the handle when I didn't respond.

Donald (1:31pm):  please hurry up and take urself off my friends list im getting seriously ill looking at your pic i think you found your true calling being a hooker after that god can deal with you and immature ways maybe he will throw you in hell bye like i said live your life then its burning in hell for you forever

Donald (1:45pm):  one more thing i only have four friends and all women they are not that you know what that word means and thats all i need i hate to see ur friends especially if their in ur profession my last message to you napa kaganda mo.

So I wrote back:

Wow, you are genuinely psychotic.

Have a wonderful life.

~Meyli~

That is all.  I just wanted to rant.  I'll keep you updated.

Oh, and Donald?

Go fist yourself.




UPDATED - Monday, February 9th, 2009

(02/07/09)

(11:28AM)  Donald: 

didnt i ask you to take urself off my friends list btw how was the hooker lastnite



(11:30AM)  Meyli:  I was actually going to e-mail you just now and apologize for what I
felt was being too harsh on you, and especially for putting you on
blast in my blog, but you've now reinforced my thoughts from yesterday.
So thank you for that, Donald. :)

xoxo
~Meyli~

(11:37AM)  Donald:  take me out of your blog its nobodys business what we discussed you misunderstand what im saying to you

(12:30PM)  Donald:  anyone can be immature and let everybody see what we were talking about
its like being in school and being the class clown so everybody can see
its a form to make you more popular you are craving more attention you
are not a hooker now i see the true you who you really are thank you
for showing me the truth about you alot of ppl may be blind about what
you are but im not its nothing bad what you are

(8:23PM)  Donald: 

i wanted to say im sorry for judging you its not rite for me to do that
hope you can forgive me i want you to have a great life and hope you
get everything you want reach for the stars

(02/08/09)

(12:13PM)  Meyli:  Hi Donald:
I appreciate your apology, and wish you only the best of luck in everything that you do. :)

Warmest Regards,
~Meyli~


7:32 PM 
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Thursday, December 11, 2008 

Current mood:  peeved
Category: Blogging
............................

How To Message Chicks And Actually Get A Response From Them....

By Miss Meyli
..
......



(If you're going to copy this and post it in your own bulletin and blog, you better give me some damn credit.)

As many of you may know, I have an away message up on my mailbox which means your only way of contacting me is by leaving a comment. However, some get through the cracks (I'm not sure how, exactly).

Of these few that do, I would say only 1 in 100 are a message I actually respond to. The other 99 usually get the delete button.

So this kid messages me with:

"Hey was up me jst chillin"

And I delete it, naturally.

He proceeds to send me the exact same message pretty much every day, to which each is met with the delete button in the same rapid manner.

Then last night, (seriously, how is he getting past my filter??) he messages me with:

"Question y do girls like urself answer messages from me is it cuz im ugly or wut wut is it tell me so i can knw"

First of all, I think he meant "why DON'T". Secondly, that is a prime example of an atrocious run-on sentence. Perhaps his . key is broken.

So, I figured. "hey, if he took the time to figure out how to bypass my filter and wants an honest answer, I'll give it to him".

So to his most recent message, I replied:

"It's because your messages don't consist of anything worthy of a reply. Perhaps if you took the time to read profiles or put some thought into your messages instead of sending every hot girl the same generic greeting that you would have a much higher response rate.

Take care.

~Meyli~"

What I ought to have added was that his messages also portray him as uneducated, and that he might think about retaking some English classes. Okay, maybe I'm a little mean.

But the reason I post this all to you as a bulletin is because I feel that over 90% of you are in need of heeding this lesson.

I get the same mundane messages and comments from you guys over, and over, and over again. And then I get even more poorly written messages from the same people asking why I never write back.

Perhaps you are genuinely interested in "what is up" with me, or how my day is going. But you can't honestly expect me to find the time to write back to all 295,077 of my MySpace friends, can you?

So if you want to actually start receiving responses from your messages, here are some tips I'd like to offer.

1) Never start the subject of your message with the words "Yo", "Ay", or "A". A is a frickin' letter. It is not supposed to substitute for "Hey". Are you that unbelievably lazy that you can't type out 2 extra letters. II can tell you from my own personal experience that I don't even read the messages in my inbox if the subject is any of the aforementioned.

2) Do not refer to the person as a "shawty" or any other derogatory ghetto term.

3) When you have the subject as "Re: RE: Re: RE: ay" in an attempt to trick the recipient into thinking she may have responded to your stupidity at one point (probably in a drugged state), it makes you look like a loser. So much of a loser that this is the only way she may actually read your message.

4) Why don't you take a moment to stick your tongue back into your mouth from oogling her pictures, and actually read her profile? Chances are, she's more than just some eye candy (I can't speak for all women), and has much more to offer than something for you to drool over as you spank the monkey on your keyboard. If you bring up something that is personal to her, it increases the chances that your message will be dignified with a response because it shows her that you aren't just messaging every hot chick with the same obsolete message you so craftily copied and pasted.

5) Type in proper English. I can't speak for every lady, but there is nothing more of a turn off than an uneducated person. Sure, there is slang that certainly can't be avoided. I'll even admit I occasionally use "cuz" in place of "because" (I've actually battled this for a while because I refuse to use the word "cause" since it has its own jolly meaning, and I like to type the way that I speak. and in this case, I use "cuz". yay). Utilize your shift key. It is there for a reason. NeVeR tYpE LiKe ThIS. Oh, and if you're typing in all caps, it makes you appear as even more of an imbecile than the people who can't find the shift key. "This" is not "dis". Like is not lyk. What is not "wut" or "wat". "Girl" is not "gurl". And never, never, never substitute numbers for letters. THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMN TEXT MESSAGE.

6) You're an absolute idiot if you are asking questions which can clearly be answered if you knew how to read. I get people asking me all the time what my name is (not so eloquently, if that is even possible). It's in my MySpace name. You know, the thing at the top of my profile? Or even the thing that's clearly visible when you're composing a message to me? Oh, and you'd be amazed at the amount of people who spell my name wrong while they're typing me a message or comment.

I'm sure there's more of these, but I'm actually going to take a break and perhaps add to this later. I think this is blog-worthy, so it'll go there too if you want to leave your thoughts on it.

But now I'll take the time to seriously show you the last 10 messages in my trash folder.

1) Subject: "Yo"
Message: "Hey wat up sexy"

2) Subject: "hardy"
Message: "U so sexy gurl."

3) Subject: "hey cutie"
Message: "hey sexy mami how u doing? watz ....ur.... name and where u from and watz good with u? "

4) Subject: "hi"
Message: "wow miley u got nice tits"

5) Subject: "."
Message: "wats good"

6) Subject: "HAY!!!!!!"
Message: "NeEd SuM 1 2 pLaY WiT"

7) Subject: "RE RE RE NO SUBJECT"
Message: "GURRL U IS SOOO FIND I CAN EAT U LIKEU IS MINE"

8) Subject: "Re: RE: watz good"
Message: "Wats good mami"

9) Subject: "mj"
Message: "wat yo numba"

10) Subject: "watsup"
Message: "Happy holidays! So let's set something up so I can put my mouth on those beautiful breasts of yours! And just before you climax ill put my lips on it to see how it tastes because I can do it right. As you can tell, when it comes to beautiful girls I don't play around! Just don't fall in love with me and we'll be fine! "

I'd like to bring some attention to the last message. I am making a point of blocking each and every one of you assholes that sends me an obscene message. Whether it's a picture comment or a message, it doesn't matter. There's certainly a fine line between a perverted sense of humor (which I actually have a fine appreciation for, believe it or not) and being a loser who has never seen a vagina in real life and needs to go on MySpace and send me comments like how you're going to put it in my butt.

There have certainly been some which I've been on the fence about blocking, and then 112 who are rightfully blocked. If you go on my blocklist, it looks like a pedophile phonebook. Strangely enough, a lot of the main perpetrators are kids who are 13 yrs old. Seriously!!!

Okay, I guess that is all the steam I've left to blow off. So there you have it.....

.. ..

XOXOXO
~Meyli~....



......

BUY A POSTER!! Haha. =)....

.. ..

11:15 PM 
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Thursday, December 11, 2008 

Current mood:  jubilant
Category: Automotive
This was an actual advertisement on CraigsList for a Nissan Xterra.


http://montana. craigslist. org/cto/926508578. html

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)
Reply to: sale-926508578@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST


OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.


It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.


This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).


No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.


It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.


My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.


There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.


Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.


To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.


Rock on.
10:28 PM 
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Tuesday, December 02, 2008 

Current mood:  thankful

UPDATE [12/2/08]:
I won, so thank you guys!!!

As promised, I sent a signed autographed picture to the first 20 people who forwarded me their confirmation e-mails.  What you may not know, is that I did not just stop there.  I sent autographed pictures to the remaining 78 people who sent me their confirmation e-mails as well!  Yaaaaay.

But seriously, thank you guys for all the support you have shown me.  It means the world to me.  =)

I'm having a big holiday sale on all my pictures and posters, so be sure to message me or comment me to ask for more details.  It will be going on for the entire month of December.

xoxoxoxo



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Attention:
My 292,625 MySpace Friends...

You guessed it.  It's that time again where I need all of your help with something!

I'm entered in a Holiday Hotties contest for a local radio station, and if I win, I'll score myself 2500 bones!

Remember last year when you guys helped me win 5000 big ones by downloading my wallpaper onto your cell phone for $1.99???  This time, it's FREEEEEE to vote and helps me just as much!

Now, I thought it was a Holiday contest, so we were supposed to submit a festive-themed photo, but I think I was in the minority that thought that way.  Moving on... haha.

There are 2 different versions of how to vote, so either one will work.  =)

DIRECTIONS

IF YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO VOTE FOR ME AND DON'T NEED TO SEE THE OTHER CONTESTANTS:

1)  Simply click on this link or picture below, and then follow the directions!
2)  Once you reach the voting page, select "Meyli from Bethesda, MD" (7th one down on the left) and enter your e-mail address.  Then click the VOTE button.
3)  Now you need to go check your e-mail.  Click the link in the message that says "Click here to vote".
4)  You're all done!  You can vote once every day, so please keep voting for me and spreading the word for others to do the same!


IF YOU WANT TO SEE ALL THE CONTESTANTS:

1)  Simply click on this link or picture below, and then follow the directions!
2)  Select  "HOTTIES".

3)  You have to now scroll through all 96 pieces of eye candy to get to the voting page at the end.  I think I'm number 13. 
4)  Once you reach the voting page, select "Meyli from Bethesda, MD" (7th one down on the left) and enter your e-mail address.  Then click the VOTE button.
5)  Now you need to go check your e-mail.  Click the link in the message that says "Click here to vote".
6)  You're all done!  You can vote once every day, so please keep voting for me and spreading the word for others to do the same!


Voting ends 11/20 and the top 10 will advance to the final round where I will need your help the most! 


Now, as some of you may recall.  I was in a holiday contest called the "Naughty Elf Contest" for this same radio station about 4-5 years ago.  I won, but I didn't get any cash.  Instead, I got an Xbox (I think this is when they were the hip thing), and a gift certificate to Toys R Us which I used to purchase Xbox games.  This Xbox and aforementioned games were stolen/kept against my will by my boyfriend at the time after we broke up about a month later.  Now, it really wasn't the Xbox, but more of the principle that I won these items fair and square and never reaped the benefits.

So in a distorted way, this would be awesome for me to win this Holiday contest 5 years later, and get to actually keep the prize this time!


What will I do with the 2500 bucks if I win?  DUH, world peace! 

Well, for one, I may actually get around to fixing my weather strip on my M3.  I'm not even exaagerating, it's being held together by a poor superglue job, and Scotch tape.

That, and there's always that never-ending quest of finding Paddington's biological father.




But seriously, I appreciate all the help from those of you who are willing to provide it. Thank you!!!

I love you all!!!
XOXO
~Meyli~

11:14 PM 
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Friday, August 08, 2008 

Current mood:  bored
Category: Blogging

1.  I absolutely adore Panic at the Disco, and I feel that the reason is because you can play their CD's all the way through with your eyes closed and imagine a wondrous theatrical show of epic proportions.
  Try it, you'd be surprised!  And this is without the use of any mind-altering drugs, too!

2.  I just got a gym membership a week ago, and have somehow managed to enter a transformation from me feeling like a total lard ass to quite possibly, the best shape I've ever been in.  So yay.


3.  For some odd reason, I can't stop thinking about this one incident a couple months ago where there was a semi-dead worm washed up on Darren's doorstep and kind of sandwiched in between the step and his doormat.  I proceeded to spend about 15 minutes using about 30 cups of water to try to wash this poor worm off of the step.  It was both time-consuming and gross.  Yet, Darren didn't say anything or even raise an eyebrow because I think he has finally come to accept how flippin' weird I am.


4.  I'm extremely irritated with how people on MySpace have completely butchered and displayed contempt for the English language.  As I've been going through my comments from around the middle of May (cut me some slack, I'm catching up!  And on the day that I do, I think a magnificent steak dinner should be awarded to me.  Yaaaaaay...), and I've always noticed this, but it had just finally managed to push me over the sanity cliff.  Oh, and I do not want to join your stinkin' mob or mafia, buy you as a pet, own you, or be challenged with my movie knowledge.  Jeeez.
 

Okay, I'll use today's comments just as an example to how absolutely dim-witted some people are.


I don't mean to single anyone out.  These are all completely at random.


"thank you 4 the add nd supporting yal DJ. yeeeaaaah! Cueervo the next hottes dj from the NC.. thank to yal.."

"what it dew ma" - You've literally used extra energy to type three letters for a word which should originally only use 2.


"WUTT IT DO JUS STOPPYN THROUGH TA SHOW SUM LOVE HOPE ERR THYNG IZ LIKE ITS SPOSED TA BE N YA WORLD.... HOLLA ATCHA LATAZ">

"watz good hope the bes 4 yoz girl and a looking sexy LOL"

I guess there's really nothing particularly wrong with these comments because they sure do get a message across - but how do you people expect others to take you seriously when you portray yourself in such an uneducated manner??

And while I'm on that topic, what's with all the pervos leaving me raunchy picture comments???  I understand my pictures may not necessarily be G-rated, but what are your expectations when you post comments of that sort?  Do you expect me to say "wow... this guy is so cool"?  I'll give you some examples of these comments, but if you'd like to see any for yourself, just check out my picture comments for yourselves.


"can i hit it from tha back like dat and pull yo hai" - I don't know what "hai" is, but I'm going to go ahead and say the answer is probably no.


"this is a hot erotic pic I can hear people gettin pregnant right now.
" - I don't even KNOW what the hell that is supposed to mean, lol!

"CAN I HAVE SEX TODAY" - I don't know, can you?

"COME TO MY HOSUE PLASE YOU LOOK GOOD TOBE A MAN FRIEND HOLLA BACK... - ???

"i would fuck the hell out of u if i knew where u were and i'll make u scream" - ...

"OMG U SOO0O0 HOT BABY I WANT TO STICK MY DICK UP UR ASSS AN PUSSY SUCK EVERY THING THAT U HAVE IN THAT BODY I WANT TO SUCK UR BOOB"

Now, I was seriously contemplating deleting all the "friends" who were sending me obscene comments, but then I realized I'd have maybe 1,000 MySpace friends left after all that.


My jolly blog has somehow managed to leave me feeling aggravated and pissed off, haha.


So I guess I'll post some pictures and that'll be that.


Umm, here I am in the Bahamas when Amanda finally proposed to me after we'd been dating for years.
  Luckily, it was caught on camera!


Me and my cousin Michelle in Ocean City for Memorial Day weekend.



Me with my son Paddington when he was feeling ill at the NOPI show.



Amanda and I arguing over flip cup.  It's like we're married already.



Okay, I'm done being weird.


I love all of my 286,173 MySpace friends!!!
Even the pervos and ones who can't spell!!!

XOXOXO
♥  ♥  ♥
~Meyli~



6:56 AM 
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 

Current mood:  ecstatic
Haha, I know many of you are probably sick to your stomachs of my promotional bulletins, but I’d like you all to know that I do not post them with the primary goal of annoying you to your wit’s end.  It is part of the job, I suppose.  If one extra bulletin will bring one more customer out to Rock Bar.  Why the hell not?  If one extra bulletin will enlighten people in a far-away area from me that there is going to be a NOPI show near them and they can come get a complimentary NOPI high five from me that will test the ends of time... then I certainly don’t see a problem with that.

Now, many of you may already know that my friend Lisa Angeline was in a contest and I posted a crapload of bulletins asking you all to take a minute out of your hectic lives to go vote for her.

I’d like to call attention to one specific reply I got back from one of my bulletin posts.  It was from this guy Joe.  The message states:
"Geeze chill with all the posts ........ god I get the piont you want me to vote for her. Just for being annoying I voted for the girl from Long Island like 50 times. Hope your friend loses ...........................p.s. she’s not that pretty"

First, I’d like to know what a "piont" is.  

And then he deleted me as a friend!  Now, Mister Joe, and your 71 friends.  Chances are, I did not add you.  You added me.  And I’d like to announce to the 276 thousand rest of you, that you are not my fair weather friend!  You are my friend FOR LIFE.  Through the Apocalypse.  Through my sex change operation.  Through 9 million bulletins!  Our MySpace friendship is unconditional, and it just seems nonsensical to me that someone would let something as petty as a few MySpace bulletins deter them from the path of righteousness.  I really have no idea what I’m talking about at this point, but I only have a few things I’d like to publicly say to "Joe" because his privacy settings won’t allow me to send him a message to personally give him a piece of my mind.  You are RUDE, and MEAN, and I’m GLAD that we are no longer friends.  Oh, and FUCK YO COUCH!  [/end rant]



Anyways.  On to better, and much bigger things.  BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS... *DUN DUN DUN*... LISA ANGELINE WON THE MISS LAX CONTEST, $50,000, and an appearance on Criss Angel show MINDFREAK!!!  Yaaaaaaaay!  She says she loves each and every one of you for having shown her such limitless support.  =)



On another note, my son Paddington won the MISTER LAX CONTEST, $5.00, and an appearance on a McDonald’s happy meal box!  Yaaaaaaaay!!!  Unfortunately, Paddington hired too may people to promote for him, so not only did he not really win five bucks, he’s also kind of under about 87 dollars.  His five cent weekly allowance isn’t really going to be enough, so if any of you could find it in your hearts to donate a few dollars to help this foolish little bear, I’m sure he would greatly appreciate it.



Seriously, though.  CONGRATULATIONS, LISA!!!!!!!!

And I have to go bathe because I smell like a burning cow diaper right now (just got out of the gym on my MANDA PLAN!) and then get ready for work, but I thought I would fill you all in on the little details of my meaningless little life.  Ummmm... if any of you have noticed, my comments have seemed to be stuck at January 29th for about two weeks now.  Fallin’ a littttttttle behind, I would say.  Haha.  

Oh, and I appreciate all the comments you guys send me.  Rest assured, I do read each and every one of them... even if it’s 2-3 months later.  I’m sorry if many of you feel disappointed that you aren’t getting a response or the response you had hoped for, but I’d like to let it be known that a follow-up message of "why are you not responding to me" is not necessary.  This will most likely aggravate me even more in my falling-behind-on-MySpace situation, and I will probably curse you and both your houses.  Or if you don’t have a house, the nifty box you live in which just happens to be located close enough to an unsecured router you can steal the interweb off of.

If you’d like a response from me, these are some things that will probably help:
a) If I’ve met you in person.  Then I can have some sort of reference to pretend to know you by.  My memory is completely shot at my obsolete 23 years of age.  Forgive me.
b)  If you have maintained respect for the English language in your message.  This includes spelling, punctuation, proper capitalization, and at least something that leaves me a hint that your IQ is more than that of a pet rock.
c)  If your message is something relating to me personally, my son Paddington, or any of the nice weird things I’ve taken the time to write in my profile.  It really means a lot to me when people read my page.  I’ve invested a ridiculously unhealthy amount of time into the creation of my page, and it’s nice to know that it sometimes doesn’t go unappreciated.
d) Tempt me with Domokuns.  I sure do love Domokuns.  Mmmm.... Domokuns... Ooo, and cheese!  Preferably in cubed form.

I digress.

But seriously, congratulations to my Lisa Angeline and Paddy Bear!!!!

*breaks into a god-awful rendition of Queen’s - "We Are The Champions"*

BYE BYE!!!




8:28 PM 
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008 

Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
I had been waiting quite some time to call attention to this matter, but I feel now is the time to slap you all over your heads and kick you in the nuts.

For those of you who do not post bulletins, this may not apply to you.

However, there is a new sort of spam that is taking over MySpace. It's not in the comments this time, nor is it in the bulletins. It's in the reply to the bulletins.

For every bulletin you post, some of your so-called MySpace "friends" may reply back with some sort of stupid statement like "Wow, I saw pics of your ex at [website.com].", or "I just posted a pic about your bulletin at [website.com]".

But before, the spammers were smart. They were clickable links, so to access these sites was merely a click away. NOW, you idiots are typing the links to the websites YOURSELVES. Jesus! So, I was curious as to what exactly is making all these imbeciles forfeit any shred of intelligence that may have once had, so I went to visit one of these pages (and this page is what all the other ones look like as well).

I'd encourage you all to take a look, but DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT ENTER ANY OF YOUR INFORMATION!!!! Try greatindividual.com - and see what the page looks like.

When you try to close the page, a pop up window says "WARNING! By leaving this page, you authorize us to REMOVE the pics that your friend reserved for you. You may never be able to see them. PRESS 'CANCEL' BELOW IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO REMOVE THE PICS."

It's no wonder why some of you losers who have never seen a vagina in your life may get excited that there may be some sexy pictures of either you, your ex, or even your bulletin on some site that you must login with first before you can see the aforementioned picture. Or some of you are that self-absorbed about some "reserved pictures" of yourself that you have never seen. GET A BRAIN. Holy cow.

Thankfully, after its last spam attack through its comments, MySpace has created a handy "delete friends" button which makes it easy for me to rid myself of you and your incessant stupidity. Frankly, any moron that is stupid enough to fall for something like this isn't somebody I would want to know.

/End rant.

I love the rest of you. And am sure I will be receiving many a spam reply back from this bulletin.

?
~Meyli~
6:12 PM 
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007 
Greetings to all my wonderful MySpace friends.  I know I have been somewhat neglecting you guys, but you must understand how incredibly busy I've been with my new job at Angels Rock Bar, and being a full-time student - not to mention... a professional butthole.

As many of you are aware, I won the $5,000 grand prize for the NOPI Chic Cell Phone Wallpaper Download contest - and it was all because of you guys.  That is pretty frickin' incredible, don't you think?  I sent out most of the autographed posters I had promised you all, but ran out of poster tubes.  I have about 12 more to send out, so if you have not yet received yours, please e-mail meylimerch@yahoo.com to confirm.  Remember, these are only for those of you who actually e-mailed me proof of your download.  But I wanted to extend a tremendous THANK YOU to all of you who helped me out.  I know it certainly wasn't worth the $1.99 per download, but the fact that you guys would stop at nothing to support me means the world to me, and I hope you know I will never forget that.  =)

I guess this is the part where I ask you all to get me a feature for Maxim.  This time, it doesn't cost any money, and all you have to do is send an e-mail to NOPIgirls@maxim.com with the subject Miss Meyli.  Thanks, everybody!

Life has been pretty crazy for me.  I am planning to FINALLY graduate school in the spring and then actually get a normal job!  I'm not sure what I want to do, but I really like the idea of working in an office, doing something administrative or secretarial.  I know it sounds stupid to you guys, but I get a high off of completing tasks and organization.  Haha, I'm weird.

As of September, I have been bartending at Angels Rock Bar in downtown Baltimore, and it has been an absolute DREAM.  I never thought I'd find something I'm more passionate about than selling NOPI merchandise, but bartending gives me an absolute rush - a thrill unlike any other.  :)  It's a lot of fun, and we have a great team of hot guys and hot girls (mostly girls) on board.  If you are in the Baltimore area and haven't checked it out yet, what are you frickin' waiting for?  :)  We always have something cool going on, in addition to our Monthly Mayhem (first Friday of every month) which includes a FREE OPEN BAR!!!

Things with the boyfriend are amazing, and there's absolutely nothing I would change.  I know it sounds cheesy, but sometimes... you just know.  We've been 9 months and still going strong.  I've never met somebody who is so perfectly matched for me, and it certainly takes a lot to put up with my crazy, moody, goofy, and sometimes just outright WEIRD antics.  He has been so supportive of me with my school and surprisingly my work, and it's been an absolute pleasure having him in my life to keep me from driving myself insane.  =)

In October, I went out and bought myself a little beater.  A 2007 Honda Civic Hybrid.  His name is River Donkey.  He's probably the best decision I've ever made.  Many people were like "Oh, Meyli, your M3 is so bad ass... you're so lucky".  Well, let me enlighten you all on a few things.  There is nothing bad ass about paying nearly 60 bucks to fill up your tank twice a week.  In addition, there is nothing bad ass about the outrageous service costs for something as stupid as an oil change to $1700?  River Donkey gets about 470 miles on 10 gallons of gas.  And he takes regular gas!  Yaaaaaay.  Some cons, however, include it being an automatic, and having cloth seats so I shock the everliving lights out of myself every time I get out of the vehicle.  Do not fear, I still have my M3 and still appreciate the rush of driving such a quality automobile, but this is a good way of being practical and keeping the miles off of my babaaaaaay.

I have a limited amount of 3 ft by 6 ft NOPI Chic banners (I'm in the middle of it) that are available for purchase and that can be personally autographed by me.  The other NOPI Chic's on the banner include Renee Baker, Sunshine Rodriquez, Amanda Olson, and Jessica Renee.  It'd be a nice addition to your garage, bedroom, or trashcan - whichever you prefer.

I also have am limited amount of the 2007-2008 18 month NOPI Chic calendars (of which I am on the cover and Miss July) which I am also selling personally autographed by me. 

If you would like either the banner or the poster, send $25.00 via PayPal to meylimerch@yahoo.com and indicate if you want the banner or the poster, the personal message you would like me to inscribe, and your full name and mailing address.  I assure you I will be much more punctual in sending these out than I was with the posters.  Act fast, because I only have a few of each!

Oh, and if any of you find any profiles on MySpace that are using my pictures as their own, please let me know as soon as possible so that I can have them deleted. 

I think that is truly all I have to report so far.  I hope your lives are all going well, and I sincerely appreciate all of you.   =)

XOXOXO~Meyli~

5:10 PM 
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Saturday, September 22, 2007 

Current mood:  annoyed
Why do guys take things of mine (Paddington, my backpack, my beer bottle opener, etc.) just so I'll be like "give it back, please give it back, pleeeeeease".  Is it some way of flirting?  Quite frankly, it's very irritating and if it happens again tonight, I'm going to flip out.

That is all, and I will most likely delete this blog when I get home, but I wanted to vent.

Have you downloaded my wallpaper yet by texting the word missm to the phone number 51945?  Help me win the contest!!

You know I had to plug that in too.  :)

~Meyliiiiiiiii~






10:15 PM 
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007 

Current mood:  busy
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I've always wanted to do something like this, but never got the chance (that, and I'm simply incredibly lazy).  So here's the deal.  I'm going to be posting images, stories, and other random useless things here for you all to see with every city I hit up.  It's going to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself.  Enjoy!

If you take pictures of or with me at the shows, please send them to me at missmeyli@gmail.com and I will put them in this blog.  :)

Meyli's 2007 Tour Schedule


* March 10+11 - NOPI: Drag Race / Drift Qualifier / Car Show - Ennis, TX:  Texas Motorplex (Dallas area)
* March 24+25 - Spring Break Nationals Car Show - Daytona Beach, FL:  Ocean Center - Modeling for NOPI
* April 28+29 - NOPI: Drag Race / Car Show - Atco, NJ:  Atco Raceway (Philly area)
* May 19+20 - NOPI: Drag Race / Car Show - Budds Creek, MD:  MD Int'l Raceway (Balt/DC area)
* June 23+24 - NOPI: Drift Competition / Car Show - Denver, CO:  Coors Field
* June 30 + July 1 - NOPI: Drift Competition / Car Show - Los Angeles, CA:  Home Depot Center
* July 21+22 - NOPI: Drag Race / Car Show - Milan, MI:  Milan Dragway (Detroit area)
* July 28+29 - NOPI: Drift Competition / Car Show - Pittsburgh, PA:  Heinz Field
* August 4+5 - NOPI: Drag Race / Car Show - Epping, NH:  New England Dragway (Boston area)
* August 18+19 - NOPI: Drift Competition / Car Show - Chicago, IL:  Toyota Park
* August 25+26 - NOPI: Drag Race Finals / Car Show - Budds Creek, MD:  MD Int'l Raceway (Balt/DC area)
STOP 1: 
NOPI Texas - March 10th + 11th
There was certainly much apprehension and excitation for the NOPI show season to kick off with our Texas show.  I arrived in Texas on Thursday, and didn't skip a beat in peer-pressuring the staff and other models to party it up in our hotel room.  I taught them beer pong (who everyone was pretty awful at except Claudia) and flip cup - which ended up becoming a big hit.  We nearly got kicked out of the hotel that night because the room under us complained to the hotel staff, and the hotel eventually had to compensate them for the cost of the room.  Pussies.  Mark had only booked one room for Thursday night, so we managed to push the beds together and squeeze one NOPIman and 4 NOPI Chics into two beds.


Mark nearly had a heart attack when he saw this on the wall
because he thought we wrote it in Sharpie. 
That does sound like something we'd do.

Friday was a wonderfully relaxing day.  I woke up and headed straight to Chick-Fil-A breakfast (the best ever).  Lisa, Sunshine, and I went to lie by the pool for a little while before we went to Target and found the most amazing thing ever - MAKE-UP BARGAIN BIN!  We spent a good ten minutes digging through those bins like we were people on welfare.  The rest of the day was spent lying around watching Next and Parental Control marathons on MTV while playing on MySpace.  That night, I went to bed early so that I could wake up at the crack of dawn to go on a Walmart run with Mark.

The show in general was a great success.  I was top-seller by over a thousand dollars from the second top seller, and the people in Texas had a wonderful Southern charm about them.  Despite the fact that I didn't place in the bikini contest, I still had an awesome time at the show and hope NOPI hits up Texas again next year.  :)








Look where Paddington's hand is!!  Oh my.

After the show on Saturday, we piled all the NOPI Chics into the rental and went off to AppleBee's where we got Paddington a high chair, a coloring book, and a kid's meal of chicken fingers and fries (which he barely touched, he must be sick or something).




Piled back into the rental after Applebee's.


NOPI downtime after the show on Sunday.
I don't think I ever learned it was rude to chew with your mouth open.



Probably one of the coolest parts of the weekend was that Claudia and I managed to find ourselves a ride back to the hotel after the show on Sunday with an awesome group of carshow-goers who truly made up for the fact that neither of us placed in the bikini contest.  They were so sweet.  :)  Claudia and I had a blast flashing the other cars on our 3 mile drive to the hotel in a kickass EVO IX.








"Do the Meyli face!  Tongues to the right!"

Sunday night, we held a 14 person flip-cup tournament in the breakfast room of the hotel.  The night manager was less than pleased and threatened to call the police several times.  I went to bed jolly and drunk. 


14 player Flip Cup in the breakfast lounge.


Not sure what either of us are doing.


Hollerrrrrr.

I was rudely woken up on Monday at around 7pm because we had to go to the airport.  My layover in Georgia was four hours.  Because I severely lack an attention span, this was pure hell for me.  Luckily, I met two cool guys named Freddy and Dave (I think), and we passed the time by playing Go Fish, Crazy Eights, and Bullshit.

In two more days, I'll be heading to Arizona, where I expect more crazy stories.

Stay tuned, I'll be adding more pictures as I receive them.



Lisa had a bloody nose.  Probably from those "FLAMING" hot wings.  ;-)

Fan Pictures
       


STOP 2: 
NOPI Arizona - March 17th + 18th

March 17th - 9:04PM
Sooo... currently I am sitting in the hotel room, lying in what may eventually become my death bed.  I had to leave the show early to come back here.  The weather today (Saturday) at the show was F-ing ridiculously hot.  I don't know how you Arizona peoples do it.  Honestly, how do you do it?  I am suffering from a heat stroke, or some kind of extreme heat exhaustion.  I feel like total crap.  I'm going to hit the sack early tonight and just cross my fingers that I'll be back on my feet tomorrow, ready to get my hustle on.

Oh, and thanks to all the wonderful MySpacers who came out and gave me so much love and support today.  You truly make the excruciating agony I'm in worth it.  Well, nothing is worth feeling like this, but you do make up for a little of it.  :)

March 20th, 2007
Wow, I'm finally home, and extremely exhausted from yet another busy little NOPI weekend.   It was a pretty fun weekend aside from no partying, and the severe heat exhaustion I suffered on Saturday. 

My flight on Thursday convinced me to never fly in high heels ever again, and to also pack lighter.

On Friday, I awoke early with nothing to do so I went and laid out by the pool and played on MySpace almost all day.  I met a bunch of cool baseball guys who were in Phoenix for training, so I went out to dinner with them at a place kind of like Hooters, but with hotter girls in schoolgirl outfits.  I think it was called Tilts and Kilts.  Or something like that.  They were a nice jolly bunch.




I think this is a good look for me.










My nipple kept trying to say hello to all the passerby's in this shirt.
I'm not sure I can really call it a shirt.


Actually, a very commonly requested pose.

This weekend, I was top seller once again, with Renee Baker at a VERY close second. 




My "Meyli" face on stage came out as my "retarded" face.


Yep, I'm Meyli. 



















I'm a little irked that I still haven't placed in the bikini contest yet, and I don't think I ever will at this rate.  Ahhh.  Patience is a virtue, however, and I'm convinced that good things do come to those who wait... so wait, I shall.

Daytona Beach is next week, and it's not an official NOPI event, but I think I may try my hand at the bikini contest there to see how I do. 

See you all again soon!

Love,
~Meyli~


Fan Pictures
     


STOP 3: 
Spring Break Nationals in Daytona Beach, FL - March 24th + 25th

Stop 3 was Daytona Beach, Florida for Spring Break Nationals.  I arrived in Georgia at 5pm on Friday.  Mark and I picked Sunshine up in his pimpass 300M (SRT8) with Lambo doors, and off we went!  I drove the last 3 hours so that Mark and Shine could get silly drunk. 


Mark needed a tan pretty badly.  That's my leg and Sunshine's leg next to his.


His ass was pretty white too.

The show in general was pretty slow.  I learned it is rather difficult to convince people to buy NOPI merchandise at a show that isn't NOPI.  Regardless, I still sold about 1600$, emerging as top seller by almost twofold.


Me with my calendar cover.


That Mobile Spec trailer was not enforced for some Meyli-dancing.

And finally, I have found my official NOPI Chic partner in crime!  I <3 her!  Her name is Sunshine, and she is going to be back at the shows in June!!  I will miss her dearly until then.  :(




I looooove this picture of us!


NOPI downtime with Paddy!


How classy.




The show really takes a lot out of us.

There was a bikini contest on both days.  On Day 1, I didn't even make top 5 and Sunshine got 3rd.  I was super happy for her.  On Day 2, I got 3rd and Sunshine got 1st, so yaaaaay.


The bikini contest was kind of weird.
They had us come out in these big shirts.






This is my "I never win these things" face.


What is he looking at???


Making sure my nipple wasn't waving at the crowd as it tends to do.


*MWAH*

I didn't get a chance to go out on Saturday night because I had to go back to the hotel room and try to catch up on my MySpace comment approval (I know, I'm such a nerd), so Sunday night, we got shittaaaaay.  It was fun.  :)


Walking on the beach to dinner on Sunday night.  Pre-drunk!


Us with our designer animal purses.




Mustaches!


We made some friends at the bar.


We found some awesome glasses.


Hahahaha.


Issues galore.

We woke up on Monday morning, not feeling too great.  We decided to go to iHop for some grub, and then hit up some jetski rental place before our trek back to Georgia.


Yes, every morning, I'm up at the crack of dawn to MySpace.


Yes, Mark actually slept on the balcony.


Mark was so nice to read the menu to Paddington.


Paddington thoroughly enjoyed his steak at iHop.


SOOOOO excited for jet skis!




Us re-enacting the faces we had the whole time during our hour of jet ski rentals.

Three weeks until NOPI Miami, and I'm puuuuuumped!  Until then, ta ta!  =)

Fan Pictures
     

STOP 4: 
NOPI Miami - April 14th + 15th

Wow, finally back from NOPI Miami, and what a weekend. 

As soon as I landed in Miami, I was whisked off to go be on the 7:00 news to promote the show that weekend.  Basically, some of the NOPI Chics had to stand around and be all cheesy waving to the camera as two of our drifters tore up the parking lot.







After the news spot, Renee, Amanda, and I went shopping in South Beach.



The show was kind of a dud.  Not very many people attended the show, and most of the ones who did were cheap.  So I just goofed off the entire time.




























Mark thought it would be humorous to hang Paddington.

The weather on Sunday consisted of turbulent winds which was later accompanied by rain.  It ruined the show.  And we still had to do the bikini contest in that weather.  I was jolly that I placed.











Sunday night, we went out to party with Nick Hogan (Hulk Hogan's son) at a club called Nikki Beach.  I got wasted too early at dinner and ended up passing out in the VIP section at the club.













We awoke too late on Monday morning and missed our flight (me, Mark, Amanda, Maya, and Brooke).  To add the icing on the cake, Mark had lost his entire wallet which had my license in it.  For those of you who have flights to catch without any form of identification, I would highly advise against it.

In our hungover stupor Monday morning, we completely missed all the news about the Virginia Tech shootings because our TV was fucked up in the hotel.  It's so tragic and I still don't think it has sunk in yet with me.

Well, I'm finally home and exhausted.  2 more weeks until NOPI New Jersey.  See you guys then!
5:29 AM 
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Thursday, July 12, 2007 

Category: Blogging


Well, it's July 9th and I'm STILL approving all the comments and reading all the messages spanning back from June 25th. 

Somewhere in there, were many responses to my bulletins – some of which I'd like to bring attention to since I found many unsettling and of urgency for me to address.

i.)    If you downloaded my wallpaper, thank you, and I love you forever.  [For those of you who haven't, simply text the word "missm" to the phone number "51945".  I believe it's $1.99 charged to your phone bill.  Oh, and I know the picture sucks, I didn't choose it.]

       NOTE:  The wallpapers will not work on any Sidekick's, Blackberry's, Treo's, or other "smart phones".  It is also not compatible with Nextel.  The wallpapers are also not available for download by MySpacers outside of the U.S.

ii.)   If you did not download my wallpaper, but wished me luck regardless, thank you, and I also love you forever.  The love and support from you guys means worlds more to me than a lousy $1000 from a cell phone contest.

iii.)   If you threatened to delete me off of your friends list if I sent out one more g0d d@mn bulletin, HOLY COW.  Is your MySpace bulletins list truly that exclusive that you need it reserved solely for the bulletins of absolute dire importance?  If so, delete me now, I don't want you as a friend anyways.  If some of you even had a glimpse of what I see when I hit my "view all bulletin entries" button, it would blow your mind.  But I'm not going to be a snob and delete every single person that posts a meaningless bulletin.  If I did, I'd have about three MySpace friends.  One of whom would be Paddington.

iv.)  Please understand that I don't post bulletins to annoy you guys.  I was trying to win a contest.  Regarding my NOPI bulletins, I'm required by my boss to post those as many times as the internet will allow.  Granted, I try to spare you guys and post a maximum of maybe FIVE for the entire weekend, but that's all.  Nobody is holding a gun to your head forcing you to read each and every bulletin entry.  For God's sake, people.  It's the frickin' internet.  Calm down.

v.)   And lastly, for those of you who are having mental meltdowns when you check your sent messages from a month ago and found that I read your message, yet didn't respond to it - I apologize.  I wish you guys could understand that I'm an extremely busy little butthole.  I don't have the time, nor am I that much of a baller that I can hire someone to respond to all of my messages.  The most I can give you is that I read EACH and EVERY one of your messages/comments, and that sometimes I will respond.  If I had 1,000 MySpace friends, then yeah, each message would be given proper attention.  However, I have 219 times that.  And it makes it 219 times harder for me to write all of you back.  With school, work, NOPI, and helping the elderly cross busy freeways, it's hard for me to have enough time to even read every comment and message, but I do it!  I may be three weeks behind, but I still do it.  This doesn't mean to stop writing me.  I mean, if that's what you want, be my guest.  I'm just trying to let you guys know that expecting a response from me for each thing you send me is much easier said than done from my side of the fence.  Okay?  

And as always, I love you guys.  Running into you guys randomly at the mall is always a pleasant surprise.  Reading all of your messages and comments brighten up my every day.  Meeting you for the first time when you come to my shows lights up my life.  Serving you drinks at my bar puts a permanent grin on my face.  I wish you guys knew how much you all mean to me.  

XOXOXO

Hugs, Happiness, and Herpes

~Meyli~




6:30 PM 
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007 

Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
1/1/2007
This has absolutely nothing to do with my New Year's Eve resolutions, but what the hell is with all the penis pictures sending me friend requests?!  I don't mind being your friend, but seriously... am I wrong here?  I feel offended everytime I see a friend request, comment, or message from a randy dandy penis.  I will and have alerted the MySpace review board of each and every one of you perv profiles, so be warned.  And c'mon, if you're going to post some poorly tasted pictures of your what-ought-to-be-private apprendage, at least spruce it up or something.  I also find it rather odd that some of you have tagged your MySpace link all over these pictures, as if some weirdo is going to try to take your penis picture and say it's his. 

Okay, that is all.  Now onto the New Year's resolutions.

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End

It's December 31st.  Mixed up amongst a long-awaited Law & Order: SVU marathon, and preparation for a ridiculous night, I've decided to write a blog about my 2006, and reveal some resolutions I've made for the new year.  An abundance of disappointments, mistakes galore.  I believe 2006 was the year for me to screw up entirely so that I could look back on it today and grow from.

1)  Become a responsible drinker.
I never drank much before I turned 21.  Not since a few bad experiences years and years ago.  But this year was filled with more alcohol, and more bad experiences.  I used to go to clubs to dance by myself in my own little world.  This year, I went to clubs to get trashed and be ridiculous.  Meyli in rare form equated to a sober Meyli.  I want to harness my lightweight alcoholism, and learn how to handle my drinking.  I want to learn how to go out and have a good time with a good buzz - not blacked out sitting at the bottom of a stairwell (sans shoes) while singing the Ghostbusters theme at the end of the night.

2)  Stalk someone until I can make them be my boyfriend.  May need to blackmail.
When it came to relationships, my 2006 was pretty shitty.  I began the year with a boyfriend, and realized that it was a dead-end relationship, and that it wasn't going to go anywhere - at least, not anywhere I'd want it to go.  I stayed true to myself, and did my best not to lower my standards (which I've been informed are ridiculously high according to everyone who has read my 'Dating Meyli for Dummies').  I realized that I couldn't sit around and just take whatever came along; that I would have to actively seek out my next victim.  Mwahaha.  I've met a good amount of guys who have sparked interest, but I think I'm slowly realizing that the only interest that is sparked is because I so desperately want a boyfriend.  Someone to lie in bed with me all day and watch Law & Order: SVU marathons with.  I want a boyfriend in 2007.  It would make my life a lot easier, and possibly tame the wild child that has emerged from within myself in 2006.  But I don't want just anybody.  I'm not looking to marry the next person I meet.  I'd just like to meet somebody who, well, gets me.  I feel as if time is running out in my game plan to have my firstborn before I turn 30.  AHHHHHH. 

3)  Stay abstinent until I've captured the boyfriend and made him my slave.
With 2006, I embarked on some sort of strange abstinence quest that no one seemed to be able to comprehend.  Not even myself.  I found that without sex, I was able to become productive.  Then again, alcohol seemed to completely balance the productivity out.  But I'd like to continue this abstinence quest.  At least until I capture my next boyfriend.  I spent 10 out of the 12 months of 2006 abstaining from sex, and I consider that a braggable feat.  Especially after witnessing what filthy whores many women have become, simply because they can.  It devalues sex, and I feel this is the least I can do to sort of make up for that.  My logic is flawed, I know.  But somehow it makes perfect sense in this demented little head of mine.

4)  Keep your friends close, and those who try to rip off your car door closer.
After 21 years of being a loner, I finally developed a social life thanks to my best friend Steve.  Steve joined a fraternity the previous fall, and felt the need to drag my hermit ass out of my room to attend parties and social outings.  I am forever indebted.  I was so used to playing the victim at my school - simply because people hated me and judged me without ever getting to know me... but how were they supposed to when I wouldn't allow them the chance?  I made friends left and right, and learned that I was capable of having fun away from my computer and Paddington.  I learned the meaning of true friendship, and saw how far the limits could be pushed.  I endured my best friend's gambling problem, money issues, him trying to rip off my car door, and countless other things that I believe being a best friend is all about.  And even though he may be broke, have mood stabilization issues, and be the most high-maintenance best friend EVER.... I know that no one else will be there for me no matter what, make Paddington talk to me, and just revel in all the weird little idiosynchracies that characterize me and make me unique.  I made another friend this year... a wonderful person named Shannon, who became the best female friend I've ever had.  With all other female friends came trust issues, baggage... their insecurities would shine through in the form of competitiveness.  Shannon was just like me.  We go out.  We drink.  We do whatever, and we go with the flow.  She is my heart and soul.  And there is absolutely nothing I would not do for her.  Even though she is always with her hubby, I am not resentful, because I know she is happy.  I appreciate all the times she drove herself so out of the way, just to come party with me because she knows how much more fun I have when she is around.  And even despite the chlamydia she gave me, I know that the burning is a means to a better end.  What that end may be, I have no idea, but I sure hope I find out soon because I'm running out of the cream.

5)  Exercise, eat better, drink more water.
I feel like crap all the time, which I can only attribute to the fact that I don't exercise, eat stuff that will most likely clog my arteries by the time I turn 24, and abhor the taste of water.  

6)  Pay more attention to my MySpace buddies.    
I've just recently begun answering back each and every message I receive on here (after deleting 15,000 from my inbox without even reading them).  And it's amazing what a good feeling it is to have people not think I'm a bitch because I actually write back.  The amount of MySpace buddies who came out to my shows to support me was remarkable, and I know that I would be nothing without my MySpace friends.  So thank you, and I love you all!   Yaaaaay!

7)  Wear underwear.    
So after seeing a lot of ridiculously-angled up-skirt crotch shots of various celebrities and wandering around with Irish, I've decided that one must don underwear at all times.  In fact, why stop there.  Wear two or three pairs.  And carry an extra pair in your purse on the chance that you may lose your two or three somewhere.

I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'll be sure to keep you all updated.

So to sum up:

Meyli's New Year's Resolutions
1)  Become a responsible drinker.
2)  Stalk someone until I can make them be my boyfriend.  May need to blackmail.
3)  Stay abstinent until I've captured the boyfriend and made him my slave.
4)  Keep your friends close, and those who try to rip off your car door closer.
5)  Exercise, eat better, drink more water.
6)  Pay more attention to my MySpace buddies.    
7)  Wear underwear.    

9:33 AM 
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Sunday, November 26, 2006 

Current mood:  bored
UPDATE:  I have been slacking on making signs for you guys.  If you made one for me but have NOT yet received one back, please e-mail me at mey1@umbc.edu with the subject title.. uhh.. (GORILLA DONG).  Okay.  That is all.


Clear cut directions:
1)  Make your masterpiece.
2)  Post it in this blog comment or send it to  mey1@umbc.edu with the subject title (MONKEYBALLS).
3)  You will be on this page and I will make you a webcam sign in return.

Detailed directions:
So here is the deal.  Back when I used to actually receive messages on MySpace, I would get bombarded with requests for me to make people webcam signs, and even though the reason was that I actually spent way too long one day making signs to the point where the Sharpie smell had gotten me all sorts of high and I was having hallucinations about lawn gnomes, I'd always say "well, I'm not really in the mood" or make up some lame excuse about how I had a cooking class or had to clean up after a cat I don't have.  Well, the mood has struck.  However, the only way you can get a webcam sign from me... is if you pay me some sort of tribute or homage yourself via the use of a camera.  See examples below.

Get creative.  It actually doesn't matter what you say about me or where you write it.  Some guy had a picture of him kissing his computer monitor where my picture was displayed, hehe.  So how do you get these to me if you can't actually send me a message via MySpace?  Post them in this blog as a comment (and I will put them on the page) or if you do not know how to do that, you may e-mail them to me at mey1@umbc.edu with the subject title (MONKEYBALLS). 

Not only will I make you a webcam sign back (you must also indicate what you want me to write for you, or settle for something like: 'So and So' rocks my socks), but I will also hotlink your picture to lead to your MySpace profile.  Adds galore! 

Here is an example of some signs I have made for others:



So what are you waiting for?  Get on it!  :)

XOXO,
~Meyli~
Here they are, enjoy!










You stay away from Rex, ya hear??
















































9:45 AM 
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Tuesday, November 21, 2006 

Cover artwork by Jung








4:10 AM 
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