http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmFHnkZfcOA

Have you ever been kissed so passionately, that it felt as if you touched sadness and joy all in the same moment? When your lips burned so hot from the caress that you thought they would catch fire, and burn deep into you?

The kind of kiss not with lips, or tongue, or cheek, or chin, but with heavy heart and upturned eyes rolling back into your head, searching for some image that would confirm the blissful dream you had entered.

It began. It was dark, cool, and heated. Tensions grew strained, minds connected in a place of comfort and collection. It wasn't sexual. A meeting of consciousnesses and imaginations, silent strumming on frets while voice and mind meet together in a harmony for thoughtful expression. We sang in the silence, and beat passionately on bongos, the tune washing over us with the cleansing waters of creation.

Then, movement. A change in order, a relocation of tensions now broken and mended. Now I felt his body warm next to mine. It was friendly until I felt the heat of not his skin, but his soul. I could feel his being pulsating in the dark, cascading over me like the intoxicating essence of the jasmine.

We had merely been acquaintances, strangers in the darkness. We conversed until we had run out of ideas to keep our minds distracted from the thoughts our hands, and arms, and necks, and cheeks, and chins, and tongues, and lips were pushing on our sensibility.

We were mated at the mind, our lives paralleled so acutely it was uncanny. The same hopes, the same fears, the same past, the same obsessions, the same futures. This idiosyncratic materialization of a being so like myself terrified and excited me. We entwined together in a spiritual dance.

Then he sat next to me. Innocent, unsuspecting. I felt a hand brush my thigh, searching, enticing, moving closer to my center, until it found mine, and snatched it up tight. I was startled at first, until I let go of my inhibitions, and it felt so magnificent. His fingers entwined with mine, his palm hot and pressing. He pulled me against him, wrapping my arms around his body he held me close and rested my head against his shoulder. It was beautiful the childlike comfort I felt cradled in his lap. We touched, and enticed and played fingers along burning skin, forehead and chin and lips happening to chance upon each other. The strangest thing, this didn't feel new. It was as if I had been there before. In that moment, in that space, there in his arms. I knew him. His mind knew mine, and I knew his skin, his scent, his every movement.

Delicate fingers graced down my jaw to caress my chin, drawing my face upward. Here it comes, I thought, this kiss. Lips to touch mine.

He brushed his mouth against my brow, my cheek, my chin, I braced for impact, his breath came over my face, hot and broken, his lips hovered above mine and we breathed our souls into each other, and he hung there, for a moment, annihilating any fortitude I thought I still carried, I closed my eyes, tight, and tighter, the painful sting from waiting smoldered deep into my core. I pained me not to reach out and press his mouth to mine, but I let him take the reins. Enticing me, teasing me, his lips everywhere but against mine, until he sought them, fervently, passionately. A chaste kiss, a mere brush of lips, I fell. I fell far and wide from that place then, fell into the darkness, fell into the void, fell into the kiss, and he was there to catch me, latching a hand in my hair and diving in deep, lips like a butterfly's wings.

It was almost too much, almost too painful, too pleasant, too enslaving. I wept for the moment when this embrace would end. And so I willed it not to, I held on to that moment, ingrained it in my mind's eye.

And when the night was done and the sun had risen high in it's morning line, we parted, faces red, lips full and flushed. Bodies shaking and wet. It was a morning I should never forget.

When the world stopped, and twilight fell like rain, my soul had touched another, and they had danced together there in the darkness. And that's how I shall leave it. Perfect in it's infinitesimal simplicity. A memory.

I shall never doubt again.

I'm so sick of hearing shit about how you think the people who are supposed to be your teachers are somehow supposed to stoop to your level....they are in charge and you are supposed to do what they say...they're not trying to boss you around...they're honestly trying to teach you!....


but you're too fucking lazy and you don't want to put in the effort because you treat the program like it's just a cool place to hang out with your friends....this isn't an arcade kiddies...this is THEATER!...

How dare you come into the playhouse and slander the good names of those past thespians, by having no passion for the artform...

you wouldn't sign up for FOOTBALL if you didn't want to learn how to play!...They're gonna kick your ass and tear you into the ground...call you names and spit in your face...because they wan't you to toughen up and be able to take that kinda shit from the other team without being phased...

the same goes for Theater...we're drag you up...throw you down and humiliate you if you're not willing to put the effort into the show...WHY?!?!...no one wants to see a half assed show with lame actors/actresses who can't even sing, and who didn't have the decency to at least MEMORIZE the choreography...who cares about how WELL you perform...the point is that you tried...

and this lack of effort it was DISGUSTS me....if you don't want to be there...then don't join, and make room for the people who actually want to be there for reasons other than being able to escape chores and homework for a few more hours...all the while your grade are slipping because you're too wiped out to do your homework after rehearsal...

F...U...

I don't want to being hearing this bullshit anymore...

if you dont want to do theater...to learn theater...to better yourself...and to become a master of the craft...

THEN GET THE F OUT.

If I hear that what is planning to go down...actually goes down...We will bring an alumnus wrath down upon your heads and tear Roddy and all of You new orifices to spew fallacies from...

Dont go blaming YOUR lack of effort on other people...If you dont come to practice and do drills like everyone else on the football team...then you're gonna be on the bench...

It's life kiddies....Get used to it.

I can't believe I actually have to write this....and I know that not all of you are participating in this atrocity...however...it is your job to be making a stand against those people...do you want your show that you worked so hard on and spent countless hours perfecting and rehearsing to go down the toilet because of a few lolligaggers?....I hope not...

I apologize for my rant...but you idiots know who I'm talking about...I want to see you succeed...I want to come back to Alvarez and see a show and actually be proud to be there...and not being bowing my head in shame...hoping that no one sees me and realizes I used to go there...

it's dishonorable...


I had such high hopes after seeing World of the Word.....I actually thought you guys were starting to get serious...i was prouder than i had ever been to applaud(for once without force) at the end of the show...I absolutely loved it...

but now that I hear this....:::sigh:::

You broke my heart Alvarez Thespians....into a thousand tiny pieces...

In the Victorian Era, men and women were not challenged on their personalities, but rather their collection of knowledge. Women studied reading, writing, music, art, dancing, literature, all for the sake of being "cultured" because well cultured partners were more desirable. Know a decent amount of lots of things, instead of all about a few things. The increasing amount of knowledge straining on the human brain forced us to give up other information, like how to actually absorb the message of the knowledge, and not simply memorize it for repetition. And that's what it is, the schools then started becoming so obsessed with book teaching and testing and gaining more money, that all they cared about was whether a child could spit back out the information or not. There was no focus on whether the child was actually LEARNING the material, instead of just memorizing it. The Victorian Era is single-handedly responsible for the destruction and resurrection of the human logic, and why it's a good thing.

This increased amount of information being stuffed into the human brain made us focus on the words of the logic for repitition. Which in turn forced all all consumption of the actual logic behind the words. Why know what the tools does if you can't name it? So we started focusing on that, being able to parrot or robot-repeat back perfectly what was told to us. This lessened the amount of space the information could take up, by callapsing the consciousness into a 2 instead of 3-dimensional frame of mind. That there is always something beyond. Limiting our imagination. Therefore, with the depleting amount of space, we started needing to be able to learn at a shorter pace. We liked having all the important information be presented to us flat and straight out, and none of the fancy decorations and flourishing of words. Just tell me cliffnotes version and i'll figure the rest out for myself.

This however led to less consumption of the knowledge, than the information. Leaving us needing an easier way to store all the information in easily accessible points. Aka encyclopedia britannica. Collections of poetry, music books. Vast amounts of letters, sonnets, journals, novels, our culture being preserved for future generations. Of course the rise in the preservation and development in culture, led to an advancement in technology. People needed quicker, easier ways to store and do things. Because of their shortened amount of knowledge retention, and the hard push to educate the masses. This eventually led to the invention of digital storage. Soon after, personal computers were found in 1/3 of the homes in america. Now, it's hard to think of people who don't have a computer in the home? Can you name someone you personally know who doesnt have a computer or access to one? Neither can I. Other than severly desolate areas in numerous 3rd world countries around the globe.

The rise in technology led us from being audio/visual learners, to strictly visual learners with the invention of televsion. Along with the technological advance, came a new media for marketing. One that would fill nearly every home in america by the 1960's. Television generated an easier way to learn audibly and visually, without all the messy paper. Along with our main stream media, came product marketing commercials, which began as short interludes during a tv show (which at the time most of were broadcast live.) These commercials were being forced to take up less and less time, in order to pack in more commercials, which meant more sponsorship, which meant more money for the tv show. Commercials 10 years ago on average pack all of the information you need to know in 30 seconds or less. However, nowadays, the tv shows are becoming longer and longer. Leading to more air time for tv commerical airing. And since we want even more commericals, let's stretch this 45 min program out to an hour and we'll put in 15 min of commercials, but we'll put them in small intervals, and they wont even notice. Now, commercials are becoming longer and longer, and more deadened with information. It's not that we couldnt retain the information, it's that we are stuck at a slower learning pace than we are used to. We're now focusing on the absorbtion of the meaning of the knowledge than of the knowledge itself. We're basically being deevolved, because of the slow rate of information trasnfer.

However, because these commercials are getting longer, they have more time to visually show you everything they are talking about, so that you hear and see the message at the same time, absorbing it fully, nowadays you can't go anywhere and not find SOMEONE who knows how to finish this line: "How many licks..."

It's not that our attention spans are shortening. It's that we have finally realized how short it has become in the last century, and now we are trying to do something about it, including forcing people to sit through 4 hour long movies. THANKS Peter Jackson...my butt was numb for a week. The Victorian Era may have destroyed our attention spans, but it has preserved our culture, and our humanity. At least this way, if the world does end. There will be all kinds of resources of information that say "The Human Race WAZ HERE". A giant global letter to the universe, "Hey, what's up, this is Earth, we're not home right now, leave a message at the beep".

On this day, November 4, 2008, we come together as a country, to have our voices heard. To exercise our national right to speak up and choose one man to lead us into the future. A man who must be strong, determined, hopeful, passionate, patriotic, and above all, intelligent.

We must choose a man who will follow in the footsteps of the great thinkers of our nation, whom, at a critical moment in history, decided to take a step in a different direction, and do what they thought was right.

Our fore fathers were anarchists. Plain and simple, traitors bent on creating a new world, where everyone was free, safe..and above all....EQUAL.

Our constitution insures our right to have our voice (whatever it may be) HEARD. But it's up to you to speak.

GO OUT AND VOTE!!

Get up, turn off the TV and the cell phone and make a move towards change. Take your mother, your brother, your sister, your friends, anyone who is of legal voting age and remembered to register. Get out there, and let's speak up for our future.

This is our time, we are the generation that this key election will affect the most. So make sure you do your homework before you make your decisions.
Don't rely on information that OTHERS have told you, or that you "heard on tv" and don't go by "how your parents are voting". SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!!

Do a little research, and get the facts straight! This is crucial. It's not the Prom King. It's the President of the United States of America.

Who do you want to follow?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAU73_RqcRo

Makes you wanna do a rain dance in the sun.

Ok, soooo...today started like normal...woke up late for class...got there like ten minutes after so of course i missed the opening lecture and i have no idea whats going on...i sit down in Astronomy next to my good friend matt..say hello...look at the board...and we're discussing...

dark...matter...

yes...that's right...dark matter..

apparently astronomers cant deal with the idea of empty space...so they have to pretend there's something there that we cant see....whatever

we ended up talking about the universe itself...Dr. Moth showed us a computer simulation of the objects(stars, planets, etc) of the universe, colliding with eachother and space folding in on itself and shrinking....

the next slide...was about how the universe was expanding...both theories were supposedly true....(on a side note...if a theory is proven...it's still called a theory...now i'm no genious...but Theory means something that you cant or have not proven yet...yeah...i'm confused too) WHAT THE FUCK!? how can the universe be expanding and shrinking at the same time...that makes NO physical sense...

another thing...that computer simulation showed the "universe" as a cube...ok...if the universe has any definite shape...i would think it would be a sphere...i mean..it's just logical...everything else in the fucking universe is some sort of circle...stars, planets, dust, atoms, particles, black holes...everything...so why does the universe itself get to be different?????..not cool...

the next thing...dr moth had some questions for us to consider...one of them was...Do you think the earth is infinite or has a boundary?....

she had said that this question always use to bug her...(emphasis on the USED TO...apparently she reached some insight that she declined to share with us...)

now me...i turn to matt and say...."ok...so...if the universe is infinite..one...it doesnt have a definable shape so that simulation is crap....next...if it has a boundary...then there is obviously something OUTSIDE of that boundary...meaning that our current definition of universe...would be wrong...because it wouldn't include what was outside of our "universe's" boundary...so ergo...the "universe" aka...everything...is infinite...period...the end...

next...we were talking about how the milky way galaxy is in the process of actually swallowing up the sagitarrius galaxy which is a smaller galaxy outside of ours (which i dont understand cause we cant see our own galaxy so how do we know this?) and that eventually...thousands of millions of years from now..the milky way galaxy and the andromeda galaxy will merge....cool right?...

wrong...

we'll never get to see it!!!!

so i turn to matt and go..."wow...astronomy must be a very frustrating science...first of all...because you dont really know what's outside our own solar system for sure cause we've never been there...i mean we didnt even know that pluto was actually 2 -4 objects until very recently...because we hadnt been there...so really...all you can do is guess...and secondly the changes are so slow (millions or billions of years) that we'll never notice the difference really"

..the night sky hasn't changed since mankind has been around and i dont think we'll be here long enough to see it either..shit is so fucking far away that all the other galaxies out there could not exist anymore...but we think they do cause their light takes so damn long to get here...

for all we know the milky way galaxy is probably all alone by it's itty bitty self cause all its friends left...lol...

wait it gets better...she showed us a diagram of a picture that a satellite took of the "early galaxy"...wait...seriously?...the government has developed satellites that can travel through time??..shiiiiiit....(yeah i know right?...a picture of the past?...what the fuck?...sorry that's dumb..)..

she pointed out that the universe in the past (...cause she was there?) was lumpy...what?...of course it's lumpy...there's all kinds of shit in it!!!...its not like the time/space continuum is flattening out...lol...

but my funny comment was that we were seeing a picture...a 2-dimensional image of what the universe "supposedly" used to look like...ok...but it looks pretty flat to me...lol

and she said that the picture was two different color...im sorry...it was blue, purple, red and a pinkish color....

and the usually very dumb girl behind me was the only one with enough guts to say that aloud...

Dr Moth's response..."these are actually shades..."

WTF?...seriously?...purple, red and blue are colors...not shades...whatever

so....after a very interesting lecture...matt and i left the class exasperated and i started on my usual rant...

i started talking about how "dark matter" is probably just empty space..and whether the universe was "infinite" or had a "boundary" (which i've already proven by common sense that it must be infinite)

and then....i got so heated about Astronomy being such a frustratingly long-process science...

Copernicus and Galileo didn't know...Dr Moth doesnt know for sure...

we're not gonna know in 10 million years from now because we're going to destroy our own fucking planet before then anyway to see the changes in the universe...

They didnt know...we dont know...we'll never know...so what FUCKING DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!!? WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ALL THAT MONEY AND ENERGY AND BRAIN POWER ON TRYING TO FIX OUR OWN FUCKING PLANET BEFORE WE WORRY ABOUT ANYONE ELSES!!...i promise...they'll still be there!!!...it's not like a star is gonna blow up tomorrow...jesus!!!

and then...the nerd kid...who was walking by and heard my rant and decided to chime in with "ACTUALLY...the human brain isn't capable of comprehending all that knowledge anyway...blah blah blah"..

now i'm like...we dont even use like 78% of our brain right NOW!....it's not that we're not capable of comprehending that knowledge...we just dont HAVE that knowledge!!!..DUH!!!...knowledge is infinite just like the FUCKNG UNIVERSE!

he walked away...i turned to matt and mouthed "WHAT THE FUCK!?!" he laughed...i laughed..and went to digital imaging...where i was even more frustrated...fuck color theory...it's boring...and...yet again...a FUCKING THEORY!!...color doesnt exist...sorry...your eyes make color...wooo...trippy...

thanks for listening...tune in next time for another adventure...

 

Peace!

Love...Matt and Erin :)

 

In the midst of this heat...i find myself really wishing i had my old slip 'n slide back...that thing was the shit!!....sprinklers aren't really fun anymore...there's no clean public pool...washing my car is pointless because it'll just get dirty again a couple hours later...stupid birds....and the beach is far away...and i dont have the kind of time to drive over there ...and even if i did...it's like way hot...and i dont like walking on super hot sand...aghh!!...Pool time it is...

Ultimate frisbee today...should be fun...wanna go? give me a call...we might even break into alvarez to take a dip in the olympic size pool...hells yeah....diving board here i come...maybe...idk...maybe Sky will just let me swim anyway and there wont have to be any breaking in about it...SWEET!...i thought that pool was supposed to be public as well?...it better be during the summer or i'm gonna wring someone's neck

on a random side note....i'm now ASM'ing Camelot in Carmel...that should be FUN!...haha...there's a couple people i'll be excited to see and give a hey howdy hey to...

annnd....i wrote an actual song the other day...i was pretty proud of myself...my success was only thanks to my keyboard...and all that wonderful caffeine i had drank...but hey...whatever works right?...

going to my cousin's graduation in Virginia...i'll be leaving the 4th of June for anybody who wants to know...and i'll be gone until the following tuesday...so no Erinpedia that weekend...i will officially become broing me who doesnt have anything to say in preperation for not WANTING to say anything...it's definitely going to be an interesting weekend...especially if a certain someone is there...but...hey...i'm optimistic about it...it should be fun no matter what....hopefully

so for now i'm working on my tan so that my dress will look super fab...i mean it already looks great....but i want to look great in it...haha...i'm already a couple shades darker...just gotta keep it up for the next couple weeks is all...time to buy some of that cool lotion that keeps your tan in check...

alright kiddies...that's all from me...remember frisbee today...call me if you wanna go...

seriously this is like the 5TH time this computer tech guy has rearranged the computers at my work station...he either seriously has nothing better to do...or he has a geeky crush on me....either is really sad....oh well...

 

peace and love my friends...it's happy friday barbeque at hartnell so go get some grub!!...stay cool this weekend!!!