I don't like the bad rap that sequels have been getting lately. For the past few years it seems all I hear are critics talking about how much they hate sequels. Critics always say the same thing. "It wasn't as good as the original." And they always imply that movie studios should never make sequels. Once they have a hit, they should leave it alone because a sequel will ruin the magic.

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Well, I disagree. I think sequels get an unjustified bad rap. I don't even think critics give them a chance. It seems like whenever a critic goes to see a sequel all they start doing is looking for stuff to criticize. So they can make a list of all the ways this movie is inferior to the original. People. This is not the proper way to watch a movie.

What about the sequels that are considered BETTER than the originals? Godfather 2. Terminator 2. Star Wars:  The Empire Strikes Back? I think most people who have seen these sequels (and many others) will actually agree that they are better than the original. In my opinion, there are MANY sequels which are better than the original.

I like Spider-Man 3 (2007) better than Spider-Man (2002). I know some people may disagree but too bad. I like X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 better than the original. There are more but lets move on.

I do agree that there are some originals that have not yet been topped by any sequel. Superman (1977). ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jurassic Park (1989). Ghostbusters (1984). Bruce Almighty (2003). Dumb and Dumber (1994). Just to name a few. But I still watch the sequels. I still enjoy the sequels. Well, except for the Dumb and Dumber sequel. I still don't know why they made that one.

But then there are instances where a series of movies will be made and one of the movies in the middle is the best. Not the first. Not the last. But perhaps the third? I think the third movie in a series can sometimes be special. I like Superman 3 (1983) with Richard Pryor. It's not better than the first but it's better than the other movies that came after it. Star Wars Episode 3 is the best of the new trilogy. And I already mentioned Spider-Man 3 and X-Men 3.

Now lets talk about the Indiana Jones franchise. I saw 4. Everyone saw 4. It wasn't my favorite. It's still a good movie but I probably enjoyed it the least of all 4. It just didn't seem like Indiana Jones to me. Maybe too much time has passed (19 years to be precise). But my favorite Indy movie was part 3 – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. That doesn't mean they should stop making sequels after the third one comes out. I'm simply pointing out that sometimes even the third in a series can surpass the first two.

For anyone who still thinks that sequels are the work of the devil I will make one last point. Look how many Star Wars movies have been made. Look how many Star Trek movies have been made. Batman. Superman. My God, look how many James Bond movies have been made. When we talk about sequels we can't just think about the second in a series. We're talking about trilogies. We're talking about studios making a bunch of movies and then starting over from scratch with a re-launch. I think the James Bond re-launch is looking good so far. I'm looking forward to the Star Trek re-launch. And I think the Batman re-launch is particularly cool.

So in closing, sequels are not the devil. Critics - don't be so quick to bash the sequels. Because sometimes the sequels rule!!!

http://www.charlesdewandeler.com

10. Do the opposite of everything your parents ever told you.

If they said "stand up straight" – walk around like a hunchback. If they said "drive safe" – drive like a lunatic. If they said "eat right" – get fat. Make them regret ever trying to give you advice. What do they know anyway? They're old.

9. Swear. All the time.

Job interview? Swear. Church? Swear. Graduation? Swear. Your Myspace profile? Swear. Nothing says "I'm an adult" like using language you can only hear on Sopranos. Go bleep yourself mom and dad!

8. Piercings!

Piercing your ears isn't enough. You need to pierce your whole face. Remember how much you hated braces? Who wants straight teeth anyway? Metal in your mouth sucks. But metal all over your face is awesome!

7. Take up smoking.

A healthy nicotine addiction only costs $5,000 a year. $5,000 is well worth it to get back at your parents. Besides, when they hear you have lung cancer they'll regret grounding you forty years ago.

6. Get on Cops!

Nothing makes parents prouder than when they see their children on TV. But you're not on TV because you're good looking, a good actor or invented a cure for cancer. You're on TV because you did something stupid and now the cops are chasing you through someone's backyard. Mom you raised me right.

5. Do drugs.

You won't be able to keep a steady job, pay the bills, or keep any friends. But who needs that stuff anyway? Drugs are your real friend.

4. Get a tattoo.

A tattoo on the lower back is called a "Tramp Stamp." It tells men at the bar, "I'll do just about anything to my body and I'll let you do anything too." A tattoo on the arm (for women) says "I'm a lesbian and I don't care who knows it." And a tattoo across the boobs is… well it's just CLASSY!!!

3. Drop Out of School.

If you stay in school you may just get a degree and a decent job. But that might actually make your parents proud. Screw that! Drop out and be lucky to make minimum wage the rest of your life. Parents always say they want life better for their children. So the only way to combat that is by being less successful than your parents.

2. Get pregnant.

Nothing says "stop treating me like a child" than having unprotected sex and getting pregnant at 16. Who's the daddy? Who knows. But your parents are guaranteed to think you're a mature adult when you have a kid of your own. "But I'm not responsible enough to take care of a kid." Then don't. Let your parents or the government take care of it.

1. Run Away From Home.

What does an adult do when they don't like the situation they're in? They run away. It's just the mature thing to do. Your parents will regret everything they ever did or said to you when you're living in a crack-house having sex with strangers for grocery money.

And that's it. Ten easy steps to becoming your parents worst nightmare. There's only one thing left to do. Spread these words of wisdom to everyone you know. Keep the revolution alive!!!

www.parody-movie.com

Nothing says "Rebel" like a Myspace profile photo sporting the middle finger.

Damn, I'm jealous. You Myspacers flipping off your digital camera are so hardcore. I wish I could muster up enough intestinal fortitude to flash a hand signal at my portable photographic device.

But why stop there? It's not enough to take a picture featuring the bird-hand salute. That's something which should be shared with countless strangers on the net. They too deserve to enjoy your innovative form of expression.

After all, you pointed a camera at yourself, and it only took you 10.9 seconds to come up with the most original, creative, thought-provoking thing to do. Lift your middle finger.

Good thing nobody else on Myspace has a picture like that otherwise people might think you copied.

Plus, I can only imagine all the chicks combing the net for a man who knows how to express his defiant side through sign language.

Oh yeah, remember when you applied for that new job the other day? Right now Mr. Human Resources is checking your Myspace profile to gauge what kind of an employee you might make. And boy will they be pleased to see that picture of your finger. Better yet, it's a picture of you half-naked, Cancun-Drunk AND sporting the radical digit. They're sure to hire you now!

But even if they didn't hire you, so what? Just think of all the people you're sticking it to by posting that picture.

1.) Your parents – who don't even know you have a myspace account.

2.) Myspace – who don't even care because it's not against their rules anyway.

3.) Your Ex – because he or she is really wishing they could have you back now.

4.) Authority – yeah that's right. Take this "authority"!

Yeah, I wish I had a cool picture like that for my profile.

Show your support for the finger flippers of Myspace. Spread the word.

www.parody-movie.com

www.freshfacesofcomedy.com

www.charlesdewandeler.com

As you know greenhouse emissions are up from previous years. Livestock flatulance comprises 20% of the world's greenhouse gasses. However, since livestock do not use Myspace, I am directing this message toward human Myspace users. Human flatulence accounts for 10% of the world's greenhouse gasses.

According to Duke University, humans flatulate 9-14 times per day, approximately 2.3 cubic feet of gas. There are 150 Million people on Myspace. That means Myspace users produce 472 Million cubic feet of flatulence on any given day. This accounts for 4% of the world's greenhouse gases.

You have probably heard the theory that gay marriage caused the flood in New Orleans. While this is a well thought-out theory, put forth by a plethora of the world's most knowledgeable meteorologists, new evidence put forth by Dr. Skatole suggests that it is more likely that the flood in New Orleans was caused from flatulence.

Most flatulence is composed of Nitrogen. As everyone knows, Nitrogen gas dilutes the oxygen in the air. This makes it harder for asthma sufferers, seniors, and smokers to breath. Nitrogen is also not used by plants for photosynthesis.

Not to mention that human flatulence also contains portions of methane and hydrogen, gases which are flammable and known to cause forest fires and spontaneous combustion. They also smell bad and can have devastating effects on an intimate relationship.

Therefore, I am asking all Myspace users not to pass gas on July 15. On this one day, we can cut greenhouse emissions by 4%. This will greatly reduce global warming, asthma, forest fires, spontaneous combustion, and embarrassment throughout the world.

Please, do not pass gas July 15.

A message from:

http://www.freshfacesofcomedy.com

Pass it on.