So, I thought I'd post a blog about nothing.  Remember how Seinfeld was supposedly a show about nothing, but still went somewhere?  Well, this is similar to that, but as far as I'm currently concerned, it's not actually going anywhere.

You see, despite often having interesting, even fascinating observations to write about, I never actually feel like doing so.  I can be downright lazy at times (times representing the majority of my day, excluding sleeptime in which I am, ironically, quite productive), and even though I can sit at my computer for hours, I still can't force myself to open up a blog window, such as this one, and write something.  Sad, isn't it?  No?  Then I must not be trying hard enough.  But that's the point, isn't it?

So, what kind of things should I get off (well, actually on) my fat (well, actually skinny) ass and write about, huh?  Weather?  Sports (even though I don't know anything about them)?  Current events?  Hiking? Globetrotting?  Juggling?  Cooking?  Spelunking?  Rangeroving?  Model cars?  Caffeine?  My right foot (the left one gets too much attention)? The man in the moon?  Armoires?  Pussies (cats, vaginas, wimps, take your pick)?  Checkbook balancing?  DVD copying (which I, of course, would never do)?  Rotary engines?  Octopuses?  Dream sequences in movies that are nothing like real dreams?  Hollandaise sauce?  Nintendo DS?  Pleather?  Screwdrivers (the drinks or the tools)?  Hand-churned butter?  Your Aunt Daisy?  Cancer (the constellation or the disease)?  Marijuana (which I, of course, would never do)?  Over-stuffed dresser drawers that pull open the drawers above and below them?  Business cards?  Popsicle sticks?  Discs or disks (floppy, hard, compact, spinal, etc.)?  Matchboxes (fire-starter-containers or toy cars)?  Styrofoam peanuts?  Tissue (bathroom, facial, packing, etc.)?  Orangina (the drink or private area of a girl who eats too many carrots)?  Stink bombs?  CD wallets?  Band-Aid® Brand Adhesive Bandages (they get pissy if you don't use the full title in writing)?  Wheat pennies?  Copy paper?  Mucous membranes?  VCRs?  Indoor carpeting?  The slammer?  The Green Arrow?  Birthdays?  Grills (car, cooking, hole coverings, etc.)?  Pre-marital sex (which I, of course, did many times)?  Bikinis?  Particle board?  Shaving gel?  Miami Beach?

Do you see my problem, here?  It's not merely my lack of motivation as to what to discuss, but my lack of ability to focus on just one subject!  And it's not as though that list even remotely completes my list of discussion topics.  That's just what came to my head in the last 30 seconds or so.  Imagine if I really made some effort.  I could never make another decision again just due to my lack of decisiveness and that vast range of topics.

So, would anyone like to help me, here?  Please.  Take up any of those topics.  As many as you please.  Start a conversation.  I'll happily continue it.  Just take the pressure off of me.  I'm begging.

Thank you.