Its been over a month since my family lost my sister in law, Tammy. It still feels like yesterday.

Its bad when it hurts to look at your brother. I can't imagine how he feels everyday. He wakes up in the house they bought together with the boys they had together and drives the van they bought to the place they met at. Work, they worked together, he walks by her office im sure. She won't ever be in that office again?  How could God take away such a good person? How can any one make sense of something that is so horrible? She has two little boys, and a guy that loved her more then anything? A family who is amazing? she had a sister a best friend a dad and mom and step parents? No one deserves to have to deal with this kind of pain, no parents should have to bury their kids.

there was so much she had a right to see. Her boys sit up and crawl and walk all the small things. sure she can see from heaven but she had to much to teach them, sure my brother will do a great job. but she wanted to do that. she read them the business section of the paper. she would of had so much fun in the future with them.. she wont see their first halloween or christmas.

Please some how let my brother have enough strength to get through this.  and her family and my family.


How do you say goodbye to some one who made such a impact on your life. within the 3 years i knew her she inspired me to be more like her, intelligent.. she helped me with math so much without her cheat sheets explaing things i would of never made it into beauty school...

To the best sister in law... I miss you. Not a day goes by when i dont think about you and the boys and my brother and your family. Please know your always in our hearts and minds..and i am so sorry you arnt physically with your boys. But i know your spirit is..  

Rip Tammy Gebhart Brandt..

since its 1:30 am its time to "blog"

I'm really just hoping certain people read this i guess.

What the point of talking to some one when you see them if they arnt good enough when they are not around in person, Why even waste your time. why not just give them the big old fuck you then? I dont get it. Used to be my best friend, and now i know nothing..


And then there are these shit bags that just waste their lives getting drunk doing tons of drugs getting high and wasting every bit of potential they ever had.. Losers. Why are peole like this there are tons of people out there fighting for their lives so they can go to things with their kids or their grand children or any member of their family.. why do people take life for granted so often?

Its stupid really.

Go to rehab.