The dust has settled and the audience has moved on. Meanwhile I'm coming to terms with a little achievement.
I should be pleased. I am. But shouldn't I be more pleased ?
Last
Thursday so many people turned up to the gig I organized. More than I
expected. Flattered and touched. Genuinely.
So many things went well: I didn't fuck up, I'm guessing some folk
liked my songs, the video thing was interesting. Most of all: I Did It
!!
Of course that doesn't stop me from nit-picking details that should have been better organized.
Next gig there'll be something else I'm not 100% happy with.
Is it always going to be this way ? Probably. Better get used to it.
The
'folktronica' thing isn't really happening. I write concise songs and
they don't lend themselves to un-natural extension. That's not to say I
won't try again with 1 or 2 songs in the future. By the
autumn/winter/spring I'll have more gig-ready songs. I think that's the
reason why I went for the extended versions this time around: to fill
out the gig.
I wonder what people think when they see me play
this stuff. Do they really like it or are they being polite ? If
they're being polite it's bloody expensive and time consuming for them
so I can only guess they really do like what I'm doing. My other fear
is that this is not sustainable: will the novelty wear off ? Next
spring when I'm trying to get people to go see me in Whelans (large
well known Dublin venue) will they show up again or will I be playing
to a handful of die-hards ?
I'm still going to do it though. Until someone says I'm biting off more than I can chew I will keep going. I can't not do this.
I
heard second hand that one of my songs (Bed For Sale) was praised by
another songwriter I admire. So that's two: Dan & Thomas Walsh.
Good enough for me. My hunch that there's a rich vein to mine there is
right. I should trust myself an little more and use my own voice.
To
that end I dug out a song I had been working on titled 'Turning Blue'.
It's not a million miles away in tempo and feel from McCartney's "Young
Boy" and the colour imagery in the song is probably a bit simple but
screw it. While goofing around with the song this evening another song
came out. Having had too many glasses of wine to be disciplined about
finishing it I might have a bit of a slog to get 2 more verses and a
middle 8. Maybe not.
Perhaps when I start demo'ing these two
songs with drums & bass & electric guitars the sounds will
inspire me to finish the songs. Maybe they're not meant to be finished
yet.
Reflecting back on the set I played last Thursday I know what I'm doing right:
- picking a couple of cover versions and making them my own
- keeping the songs concise
- engaging with the audience
- keeping the show going no matter what is happening
Some
of the songs just aren't going to be keepers and that's ok. At least I
know they're not and as soon as I have better material I'll replace the
songs one-by-one. Next time around I want to
open with 'Bed For Sale'
So
to close, here's a video clip from the gig with that very song. [Yes I
know the bloody camera is cutting my head off... I set it up before the
gig and didn't have time to deal with the details.]