Wannabe?....

 ....

I recently viewed one of those silly social internet surveys about myself asking viewers if they thought I was a “Wannbe” I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me a little, but more than that it made me ponder the question for a while. Was I, certainly not, maybe, yes I am, happy… ....

When I was younger I wanted to be rich, famous, and important. Who wouldn’t? I was somewhat popular in high school, once had a stalker in college, but that’s about as close as I ever got. I guess my perspective on the question has changed a bit through the years, am I a wannabe? Yes, I wannabe a better Dad, Husband, Teacher, Coach, Mentor, Citizen, Christian, not the first answers I would have chosen a few years back. Besides I am rich beyond riches, I have a great wife, awesome kids, financial stability, and freedom to express my views (just like the smuck that asked this question) freedom to worship my God, the list goes on and on. Mostly things money could never buy.....

I am very important to those that love and depend on me, I make a difference in their lives daily. I am famous too, at least within my family (and in my own mind), I’ve made a notable fool of myself  many times, had incredible courage a time or 2, caused uncontrollable laughter, I’ve had my moments. ....

Happily I am a wannabe, but in a good way.....

As a young man my eyes were wide open
The world was a seducing majestic wonderland
I wouldn't change a thing

 It was the rush to conquer all aspirations
An urgent need to explore and experience every detail
What an incredible journey, no regrets

 I couldn't be told it can't be done
I'll do it with or without you
It is the idealistic enthusiasm that I miss

 The rush of success following the fear of losing it all
Ancient wisdom fell on deaf ears, it was just foreign bitterness
Cynicism is inevitable, I miss the innocent ambition

 Now the youth look to me for wisdom but heed no warning
Their lives full of the adventurous glory that awaits them
They don't yet know what a bad day really looks like

 I feel as if I've lived a thousand lives
I'm right where I want to be, yet…..
I crave the naïve innocence of my youth

 Once in my life I never looked back
Now it haunts me in profound ways, tiers of joy
My youth was a wonderful infinity; I just didn't know it until now