As 2008 comes to a close I have gone into a world of thought. More like a whirlwind of thoughts in my small little world. So much has changed for the better in my life and I could not be more thankful. Why am I writing this? Well, I'll tell you. I will be 25 in just 8 days. A quarter century old!! And I know for folks older than me, you are probably thinking, chile, you just gettin started. (Insert grandma voice). But in my short/long 24 years on this planet, I have gone through so much. I've seen death over and over again, slept on floors, partied, fought, dated crazy ass people, written hundreds of songs/poems (some them about cereal, some about suicide), met amazing people, met horrible people, walked the stage, forgot my words, had many great hugs, found out who my friends were and were not, met the love of my life, lost who and what I thought I loved, discovered homophobia and racism was hella real, learned my heritage, discovered I really do look just like my mom (R.I.P), found inner love and happiness, learned hard work does pay off, learned music is the chicken soup for the soul, walked along the coast of the atlantic in deep thought, had my heart broken time and time again, developed a deeper relationship with my family, and so, so, much more. There's not enough space on myspace to let it all go. But as I walk this journey called life I realize there is always so much more to learn, explore, and digest. I could not have come this far if it weren't for the grace of God. So many times it could have been my last day, my last breath, my last hurrah. So many times I dismissed and ignored blessings that came my way due to my own self indulgence and ignorance. So thank you to the people who told me to get a clue. Thank you to the people that stuck by my side when no one else would. Thank you to the people that gave me solace when I didn't even know I needed it. So with all of this reflection (and the stuff that stays in my journal) I now feel free to give my heart to the world. I've fell in love with life and everything around me. I now know that there will always be good and evil. It is up to me to adjust and work with it or through it. Do you feel what I'm saying? Has this happen to you as well? Did you ever feel like for once in your life, you can be free? I mean we're always going to have bills, hurt, pain, loss, strife, and the sort. But there are so many great things like sunsets, the fresh smell of really good marijuana, the first crisp air of autumn, waves of the Caribbean water splashing your sun and sand toasted feet, really good birthday cake, and the accomplishment of dreams. All those things remind me to be so happy. I'm happy for you too you know. Why? Because you are someone else with a beating heart and a mind that is so powerful. We could sit close and never speak and have the greatest conversation ever. We really could. So Happy Birthday to me.

Hey Errbody,

Just wanted to let you guys know I've been in the lab, pressing another piece of my evolving soul onto the wax. I have two new singles up on the space page. I am working on putting out mix tape 2. I think I'll title it From Sneakuhs 2 Speakuhs. (Honestly that could change by the time I get to production). However, please enjoy the new trax, feel free to give your feed back. Because trust, if you're going to say something whether it's negative or positive, I'd like to know about it too. Don't just tell your friends. Lovies and Huggies (hee hee), Benni

In the lesbian community and in my travels I constantly come across lesbians who size each other up, whisper and giggle about each other, give mean looks, check out what each other is wearing and all kinds of high school foolishness instead of recognizing each other as social and support networks. Stop sending that bullshit my way. Even though, chicks who do that crack me up.

Is it an issue of self consciousness, insecurity, alpha female issues, or are you just a hater? I know that it is impossible to befriend everyone in the world. That's nonsense. However, don't you women have something better to do with your time. No one wants your girlfriend. No one wants you. Especially if you are not confident in yourself and the relationship you share with your significant other. Let's just be real.

The issue I have is that the women who are hating, don't know me or usually the people they send their negative energy. Do you need a hug? Do you need someone to rub you on your back and tell you are being a good lesbian?

Studs/Butches/Aggressives... get it together. Stop b-sing each other and the folks around you. If you are female identified, stop taking the worst "personality traits" of what is used to define "masculinity". It doesn't make you sexy. If you want to be masculine, be masculine. But know what that really entails. If you don't know, pick up a book, go outside and observe masculine identified people who are NOT acting like jerks, take a class, and just be yourself. Or holler at me for conversation. If I don't know the answer to your question, I definitely know people and sources, to help out. Just cut the foolishness.

"Fems" stop your foolishness too. Nobody cares but you. If you recognize a fem, show some love. Please don't go straight to hate mode. It's so unbecoming. It looks like you don't love yourself. (that goes for studs as well). If you want to market yourself/ present yourself as a feminine woman, feel free to go right ahead. You're all beautiful in your own way. But the giggling about folks isn't cute, especially when you look a mess. Come OOOOn... Just Love Yourself.

For the in betweeners (no disrespect, I fit that category and I don't have time to be listing you lesbians by individual identity.. let's be real.)... you're included in this too. I see you with your cool kids/kanye attire sizing up those around you. Yall need to stop it too. Once again, no one cares about what you think but you. Unfortunately negative energy is felt and it  makes you ugly, no matter how fly you think you look or you actually do look. Sorry. But that's the truth. Anyone can buy your look. Just know for the majority of you out there, it's not original. Your look has trickled down catwalks to your local retailer. Skinny jeans came the end of 2006 beginning of 2007 and flannel was back in LA in 2007. You just bought it at H&M last week. See. So stop being pissy to other people because they don't want to follow the latest trend.

With all that being said. Haters we do need you. What else propels music sales and hype for upcoming artists. For those who are not truly haters, stop pretending to be haters and love yourself. So in the end others can love you too. Smooches/Peace signs, I'm Out.