I have never been a fan of comic books, but I do like a lot of the comic book-based movies of the last decade (and the Matrix - I love the Matrix Reloaded). In high school, my mother watched the psuedo-feminist Lois and Clark TV series (whose star, Teri Hatcher, along with Lara Flynn Boyle, show that TV actresses actually LOSE weight as they age), but I didn't really care for it. I often receive flattering comparisons to the Man of Steel himself, but the only bloggable one is a reference to my hairdo.

My dark, curly hair (typical of my people) often falls across my forehead in a lovely corkscrew that women find quite fetching. It is commonly referred to as my "Superman curl." Not being much of a Superman fan, that was my sole understanding and identification with the superhero - he is a fellow ethnic American, trying to do right and fit in within an alien society. I was aware that two Jews created the character, and simply accepted Mr. Red Cape as one of many ethnic American cultural heroes, like Barbie (who is Jewish) or Super Mario, but unlike trust-funded uber-WASP Bruce Wayne.

Ethnic America is often under assault by Hollywood, whose brightest young stars have to ditch their heritage through a name-change or nose-job in order to be cast (like Jennifer Anistopolous, Wendy Lifschitz,* or Alicia Silverstein). However, I'm unused to the whosesale white-washing of a long-standing fictional character. In the new Superman Returns, Clark Kent is a WASP!

Gone is the perfect Jewfro of the 1940s movies. Gone is the dark hair of virtually every iteration of the superhero. According to the LA Times, such "blue-black hair is very rare, very hard to find naturally," (Hollywood stylist Chaz) Dean says. "It's what everybody wanted in the '80s." Instead, the new Man of Steel has light brown hair, and not only is it East Coast straight, it's parted!

To add insult to injury, the movie's inept stylist added a curl to the actor's forehead. Apparently Superman needs a forelock curl, but the rest of the ethnicity can simply be jettisoned. Unfortunately for the movie, this curl looks totally fake (one club-goer last Saturday night described it as "metrosexual," or overly done-up). According to our LA expert, "Some people get those natural curls around the hairline, or the nape, but really, this look is a fantasy. It's odd." Odd? That's a kind way to describe cramming a whitey into an ethnic role.

Compare for yourself!




* Kleptomaniac, and Jew, Winona Ryder's real name

Many of you may know that I've been volunteering full-time for Ignacio for the last month, but now that the primary is over, it's time to find myself some gainful employment. As always, I look to MySpace for a solution. I am eagerly awaiting the new MySpace Careers section, where I hope find opportunities in the fast-growing fields of banner advertising, quiz construction, and prostitution marketing. Maybe I'll win a free iPod!

Unfortunately, the New York Times did its best (as usual) to rain on my parade. In an article on Sunday, they write about job applicants who were rejected because of hip-hop lyrics or inappropriate photos in their MySpace or FaceBook (the East Coast's lamer version of MySpace). One NYU career counselor was very concerned.

"The term they've used over and over is red flags," Ms. Steinfeld said. "Is there something about their lifestyle that we might find questionable or that we might find goes against the core values of our corporation?"

I certainly hope that nothing I do could ever be against the core values of a corporation (while I'm familiar with corporate art, I'm not completely sure of corporate stances on Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal obsessions). Fortunately, it's hard to find my MySpace page (unless one really tried). So, to assuage potential employers' concerns as I conduct my job hunt, I have made a new profile with my full, real name. Please check it out - hopefully you can learn from its appropriateness to make your own profile acceptable.


John Edgar Zee

I've been busy with the DTO4DLF site (as you know) lately. I'm really excited to help my friends have a voice in this election. Our message of continued growth has really gotten through to the race, because we're joined by reasonable people all over the city. I'm pleased to note that Nancy Nadel is becoming more lukewarm about "inclusionary zoning," and Ron Dellums has attempted to twist his "100K" parody (he first used it as an example of how the 10K plan couldn't possibly work) into an actual plan for growth (which is still a complete reversal of the 10K plan). Hey, guess what happened to universal health care when he unveiled his platform? Now he wants to provide "basic health services" at new, giant multigovernmental high schools (which, like, goes against everything we've been doing successfully in educational innovation in Oakland).

Aimee Allison, the Green Party challenger to District Two Councilmember Pat Kernigan (who lost in the special election last year), has failed to get much traction. I am honestly shocked by the number of people in Oakland who oppose our Port and world trade in general. That's an incredibly wrong-headed position in a city whose economic engine is the world's twentieth-largest container port, and whose population is dense with immigrants. She spends much of her website dwelling on irrelevent national and electoral issues (her pic is in front of the Grand Lake theater's marquee), and then discusses how awful the Port is for the environment and how we should tax it (it is, of course, a non-profit organization whose "profits" go to debt service related to expansion). I totally reject a Stanford grad (go Bears!) who is against my city's economy, and so will most of the voters in her district I am sure.

This was an exciting race and now it's time to vote! Vote early and often! Go with some friends (they don't have to live in your neighborhood) to the County Courthouse whenever it's convenient for you this week and cast your ballot. Then, if it's not raining, you can hang out by the lake!

In my last blog I discussed some of the reasons I support Ignacio de la Fuente. However, I think I focused overly much on real estate development, and not enough on some other terribly important issues. I have attended three debates, spoken extensively to my councilmember, Nancy Nadel, and got a lecture from Ron Dellums. This is why they are the wrong candidates for Oakland. I apologize for the length but I don't want to reduce this to soundbites (unlike, say, a certain candidate from DC).

Experience

Nancy Nadel is one of the two councilmembers (of 8) that consistently offers a dissenting vote on popular proposals. She chairs no important committees, and would have no council support if she were elected mayor. She does not have deep ties to any constituency (as her town hall meetings have made clear), and would have few experienced staffers to draw on if she were running the executive branch of Oakland, with its $1 billion budget.

Ron Dellums was a congressman for twenty-seven years, specializing in foreign and military policy while managing a small staff (although it trained many important local leaders). He doesn't have executive experience or deep local connections to bring to City Hall; his lobbying work in DC for Bristol Meyers Squibb and Rolls-Royce (among others; he refuses to release his tax returns or a full client list) in Washington for the last eight years brings no value to our city. He resigned early and engineered the special election of Barbara Lee, which was a very undignified way to end his career and indicates he may do the same as mayor. He was recruited into the race by the city employees' unions (mainly because Ignacio, to save Head Start positions, laid off unionized janitors and closed the city jail), and has collected contributions from only one major businessman, public-private developer Alan Dones. In a sign that no business group takes Dellums seriously, Ignacio has been endorsed by both competing Chinatown Chambers of Commerce, the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, the Korean Chamber, the Metropolitan Chamber, and the founder and chair of the African-American Chamber of Commerce, Robert Bobb (the city manager that Jerry Brown fired). Dellums's refusal to stand up for immigrants indicates that he is no longer the leading moral light some people wish him to be.

City Council President Ignacio has a 6-2 supermajority on the City Council and deep connections in the local and state Democratic party. He can partner with State Senate President Pro-tem Don Perata to deliver state resources. He has been a councilmember for thirteen years and a union leader before that. His blitz of Oakland, including literally hundreds of public meetings at schools and homes, shows his deep engagement in the race Dellums's seven "neighborhood forums," in which he gives his standard stump speech I've now heard three times, is not engagement.

Educational Approach

Nancy Nadel, as mentioned before, completely opposes charter schools. Her solution to our district's problems is to beg the state for more money or steal money from the Port (which would also require a state law change). That, frankly, is not going to happen. Otherwise, she has little to say.

Ron Dellums, who has never led any educational initiative and has no experience in this subject, considers charter schools to be a step toward "privatizing the public schools" (which they most certainly are not) and focuses on elaborate and expensive public-private partnerships that encompass high schools (with no ideas of how to pay for that beyond a hope for philanthropy). He rails against federal law, the exit exam, and the state control of our schools, but there's nothing he can do about any of those things. Dellums is endorsed by most of the school board and Chaconas, who are the people that ran the system into the ground in the first place.

Ignacio embraces charter schools, the small schools movement, vocational training, and library resources. He wants to focus on passing the exit exam rather than futile efforts at eliminating this state mandate. His pro-growth policies will continue the enormous property tax surge the city has enjoyed in the last few years, which will provide the resources the OPSD needs to pay off its state loan. Again, since he's friends with someone who's actually in power, he would have some pull on the state level, although he is the only candidate without grandiose plans to alter state or federal laws.

Crime

Chip Johnson, the Chronicle's Oakland writer, said that Dellums is "soft" on crime. That's the impression I get too. Dellums says repeatedly that murders are a cry for help and we don't need more cops, just more community dialogue. I strongly disagree. I am fed up with random killings and they need to stop NOW. In addition, with increased tax revenue and a soundly-managed economy, we can put more resources in prevention programs (which all the major candidates advocate). All of the candidates support community policing, but only Ignacio plans to hire the additional beat cops necessary to implement that without making sacrifices in other important areas, like problem solving officers. Dellums just thinks we can get the existing cops to work more shifts.

Nancy Nadel doesn't really address the issue but also doesn't advocate increased police above the steps the council has already taken. Her idiotic quote on KTVU about preventing murders with conflict resolution classes in kindergarten destroyed her credibility.

Housing

Nancy Nadel and Ron Dellums advocate a terribly unfair, regressive super-tax on downtown and West Oakland condos, two-thirds of which are purchased by first-time homeowners. Currently one can buy a one-bedroom condo for about $325,000 this tax would raise it to as much as $500,000. That is not fair, and nobody else in the city would have to pay. If you think downtown condo buyers are too yuppie for your tastes now, wait until Oakland's condos cost the same as San Francisco's! What's ironic is that, by making all new construction unaffordable, they'll create a handful of affordable homes that will be distributed by a lottery, some to people that could have purchased a condo if there weren't a tax.

Ignacio wants to continue the open access to our market that Jerry Brown pioneered. Rather than play favorites with the type of development or the background of developers, the way Dellums and Nancy approach building, he would let the market (ie, consumers) sort it out. He can partner with developers to provide more affordable housing than a crude mandate could accomplish. By the way, the 10K program and open access to our housing market has led to a massive jobs boom.

Politicized Economic Favoritism

As far as the social issues go, only Ignacio offers substantive suggestions that deal with the reality of the situation. Economically, what much of this race really comes down to is capitalism versus socialism. Nancy Nadel wants to restrict non-traditional warehouse uses and new residences in West Oakland in order to pursue city-funded speculative industrial construction and recruiting granola factories. Ron Dellums also opposes non-traditional warehouse uses (live-work and art spaces are not considered traditional warehouse uses - under the Industrial Preservation Zone policy, they would be banned). I'd rather let West Oaklanders do what they want to do with their warehouses.

Ron Dellums says he wants to see 100,000 residents and workers downtown. Well, there are already about 95,000 residents and workers downtown (although, since he hasn't been here in 35 years, he may not know that). He's not advocating real downtown growth, and his lectures to me and my friends make it clear that he has no interest in what's happening. At the Rockridge debate he said that he thinks new downtown buildings are ugly and generic - I don't think that the mayor gets to dictate privately-funded architecture (even if I agree that they're unattractive. Ironically, the ugliest building downtown is the Ronald Dellums Federal Building). When he and Nancy disparage "low-wage jobs," they're talking about the baristas, cooks, waiters and bartenders downtown and in West Oakland. They want to see their fantasy industrial jobs replace our real service-sector jobs. This stems from their fundamentally socialist approach - they feel that they, as officeholders, should make economic decisions, rather than the entrepreneurs and consumers that are making them now. Jerry Brown didn't tell Radio to open, he just encouraged the growing consumer base it needed to succeed. Dellums and Nadel think they need to recruit businesses they like and use zoning ordinances to keep out businesses they don't like.

Downtown and West Oakland are under attack by old socialists who want to make our economic decisions for us. They want to penalize young, first-time homebuyers downtown and in West Oakland with gigantic taxes that nobody else in the city will pay. They think that it's up to the mayor to create jobs - I think it's up to the people. They don't see the importance of increased police presence - I do. That's why I oppose these out-of-touch candidates for Mayor of Oakland.

Any questions? Comments? Kudos? I love kudos...

LINKS:

Common Sense Oakland blog
Future Oakland blog
Stop De La Fuente blog

Why I Support Ignacio De La Fuente for Mayor of Oakland
J. E. Z., B.A., various pending certifications

First, a warning. Unlike most MySpace blogs, this isn't funny; in fact, it's quite serious. And it's not short, either. I am writing as a concerned Oaklander to other concerned Oaklanders about the very important mayoral election in June. We have a choice between City Council President Ignacio De La Fuente, who is (basically) pro-business, pro-development, and will continue the 10K plan. Ron Dellums is more concerned with Washington than Oakland, and isn't a realistic choice. Nancy Nadel has recently become the anti-growth poster girl, opposing the Oak to Ninth project and pressing for more affordable housing, more parkland, and smaller buildings.

While there are other issues, this race really comes down to growth and, more specifically, downtown growth. Do you think we're wasting our time and resources on downtown Oakland? Do you think that our free-market, open local economy has failed us? Do you see San Francisco and Berkeley as models of successful cities? If so, you may want to consider looking at Nancy Nadel and perhaps even interloper Dellums. But if you want more growth, more business opportunities, more jobs and more tax revenue, then Iggy's your man just as he's mine.

My issues:

• Education: Iggy wants more vocational education, specialized schools, charter schools and libraries. He will spend the increased taxes of more local business and growth on our libraries and schools.
  
• Nancy Nadel opposes all charter schools except perhaps residential ones. She would shut down the charter school that is currently restoring the Fox Theater. She thinks that asking teachers to pay $22/month with a $10 co-pay for health care is unreasonable. She does not like vocational education, and hasn't talked about libraries.
  
• Crime: Iggy is the only candidate that wants to increase the size of the police force. Nancy Nadel wants to continue city efforts to fill the unstaffed positions. That's not enough.
  
• Housing: Iggy will continue the open housing market that Jerry Brown started. As these projects start to open in the next few years, rents will flatten and decline. With more density and tall towers, there will be a critical mass of people for both downtown culture and public transportation (and taxis!).
  
• Nancy Nadel and Ron Dellums advocate socialistic responses to our housing crisis. They will demand that the new, often first-time homebuyers downtown shoulder the entire cost of providing the city with affordable housing. They will mandate lower prices, discouraging all new construction. Nancy will oppose tall buildings on principle and value empty warehouses over housing. Ron Dellums has made scary noises about approving projects based on their "diversity."

Basically, more growth and more business means more taxes, and we can do whatever we want with those revenues. The real estate boom in Oakland is not just new consumers for our nightclubs and art galleries, but the funds to restore the once-underutilized buildings that places like Mama Buzz and Ego Park now occupy, not mention to imminent restoration of lower Telegraph.

I don't think it's a coincidence that, after sixteen consecutive quarters of job growth (way outperforming the rest of the Bay Area) and the return of downtown as a nightclub destination, hyphy is all over the country and the Lovemakers are burning up California. Our wonderful and vibrant city can thrive if we let it. I urge all Oaklanders to support Ignacio De La Fuente for mayor.

Here are some links:

Iggy for Mayor
Nancy for Mayor
Dellums for Mayor
KTOP Channel 10 debate schedule
East Bay Express

Don't forget to register to vote!

Do you disagree? Do you have any questions?

I have inherited from my father a penchant for writing letters to the editor. I have always made my living with my writing - I was an evil PR hack who may have had a hand in driving the A's out of Oakland (sorry, my bad); I tried to be a fashion writer for awhile; I wrote economic analysis for a major real estate brokerage; and now I (among other things) write florid prose describing condominium homes in glowing hyperbole. As a wordsmith, and a very opinionated guy (although you guys already knew that), I derive not a small amount of satisfaction from a letter slamming our local media's latest outrageous bullshit. Although since the Trib just fired Peggy Stinett, and I now simply ignore the Chronicle, my targets are diminishing. Watch out, Berkeley Daily Planet!

The following are letters I've written to various publications. Two were published, and two were offered to be published but I changed my mind. The other one I wrote right now.

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Our congresswoman Barbara Lee thinks of herself as a leading voice on port security, repeatedly pressing the government to do more for ports such as Oakland's, although with little to show for it. Now, as port security is in the national spotlight, she is absent from the discussion. An important House chairman stated that no foreign government-owned entity should operate any American port, and our representative said nothing. I called her office and asked for her position on this controversy, and was told she didn't have one. Her staff was surprised to learn that the government of Singapore owns APL and operates several of Oakland's container terminals, even as the House moved toward restricting such economic activities. Once again, even on her signature issue, Representative Lee offers no leadership and no results, to the detriment of Oakland's economy and security.

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Regarding the recent article about crime in Oakland, I would like to point out that, according to readily available statistics (none of which were cited in your article), robberies in downtown Oakland are both much lower than usual and concentrated heavily in the middle of the night, posing little risk of danger to office workers. Like many downtown residents and workers, I would prefer to see the area completely crime-free, but the overreaction of suburban residents to working in a economically diverse area is quite unfounded.

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I wanted to commend you for your thoughtful and interesting article in yesterday's Express. I especially liked the emphasis on contemporary hip-hop culture and slang, and also the investigation of the actual drugs being used. Although I have to say that you did gloss over the proven side-effects of Ecstasy; namely, the long-term reduction in dopamine levels which has been linked to depression and lowered intelligence. Not that I took your article as an endorsement of the drug.

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I can't find the letter I wrote slamming Barbara Lee for not getting us any pork in the once-a-decade highway bill. The Trib published it last summer.

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Regarding your recent article featuring the complaints of lazy bartenders to simple and popular requests, the Chronicle once again shows the clubbiness and disrespect for its readers that pervade everything from its political news to its restaurant reviews. I am shocked that your correspondent thinks that Cosmopolitans are too complicated for a bartender to pour, and her utter misunderstanding of classic drinks such as the Manhattan and Martini is unforgiveable. But I am more suprised that professionals in the service industry were willing to go on record, and name their employers, stating that they dislike performing their jobs. I will be sure never to patronize any of the establishments listed therein. I thought there was no such thing as bad publicity - the Chronicle has proven me wrong.

Should I send in that last one?

An Eight-Point Guide to Being a San Franciscan Who Isn't Exceptionally Lame
Johnny E. Zee, B.A.

1. Do not hang out with your coworkers more than necessary. Sure, you may work for some Silicon Valley company with a funny name, and they may bring Tom Cruise, Ellen DeGeneres or Scott Adams to your campus, or give you high-quality and stylish logoed jackets, but that does not make your job hip enough to be the center of your social life. If you need to identify that much with your dot-com or advertising brand, move to Google City and disappear from mainstream society where you don't belong. Here's a hint - no matter how much of the shareholders' money has been spent on your office holiday party, it still shouldn't be the highlight of your social calendar.

2. Please do not confuse Oakland with San Francisco. I often hear of SFers talking about how great the hiking / parkland is in SF, or how SF is a cosmopolitan port city, or how SF is an important artists' enclave, or how racially diverse SF is. All of those things are completely untrue, but very descriptive of Oakland. WE have the port, the artists / bands, the parkland and the black people. If you love parks, move to the East Bay or Marin, idiot. Anyone who thinks SF is diverse is either blind or from rural New England.

3. Don't say that you live in "The City" when you commute to San Jose to work. And don't say "The City" ever, because it's stupid and touristy. What are you, The Examiner?

4. Don't look to the Mission for your fashion cues if you have any interest in contemporary style. Quite a few acquaintances of mine have commented on how differently young people dress in Oakland than SF. Here's why - we look urban, stylish and sexy, while SFers appear to try hard to be very last season. Or last year's rock star. The last time I went out in SF everyone looked like they just got off the bus from Portland, awful flat shoes and all. And why do women in SF think they can wear both a skirt and jeans? That's not a poor style choice, that's an error. Didn't your mother teach you how to dress yourself?

5. Take a better look at the "bridge and tunnel" crowd. The people dancing next to you at the 80s club may look lame, and dress blandly, and exhibit none of the traits you associate with urbanity, but they are not, in fact, from the suburbs - they are from SF. You are so deluded about how uncool your city is that you assume all the lame-os live elsewhere, but they're don't! People from Walnut Creek party in Walnut Creek (at Tiki Tom's or some such place). And East Bay residents aren't going to go all the way to SF to party. We have our own clubs.

6. Never, ever refer to Oakland or Berkeley as a suburb of SF. Not only will this infuriate East Bay residents who generally have disdain for SF (if we didn't, we'd live there), but is patently untrue. The Oakland-Berkeley-Alameda megalopolis is the same size as SF in population (and as densely populated if you don't count our vast parklands and industrial areas), while the East Bay metro area of 2.5m people far dwarfs SF's 1m residents (including Marin). Greater Oakland supports approximately one million jobs, while SF has fewer than half a million. With tourism as the number one industry, and all the tech jobs dozens of miles to the south, no SFer should be overly proud of his city's place in the regional economy. Also, Oakland's downtown is larger and much less 9-5.

7. Accept the fact you live in a second-rate city. San Francisco will never be New York or Chicago - hell, it's even struggling to be Austin. With all the best jobs going to Los Angeles, your politics a national laughing-stock, and all the artists and immigrants moving to Oakland (or Los Angeles), things don't look like they'll turn around.* The less you brag about living in a world-class city full of behind-the-times "hipsters," ill-conceived museums and poor public transit, the less ridiculous you will appear to people who have actually travelled. The only thing world-class about SF is its convention center - you can brag about that as much as you want. Seriously, please do.

8. Don't be such a hypocrite. From vegans in leather shoes to H&M-clad Wal-Mart bashers, nothing is more irritating to the reasonable than your bullshit personalized politics. You think people should do drugs in public but not smoke a cigarette outdoors. You want rent control and fewer high-rises because you selfishly want your apartment you can't afford, your view or your parking space, totally screwing over the middle class while doing it all in the name of the poor. In conclusion, don't vote for Chris Daly, unless you directly profit from his machine.


While I wrote this in the second person, none of my MySpace friends are the super-lame San Franciscan I'm addressing, even if many of them (including Oaklanders) could maybe appreciate a point or two. This was all inspired by a few random blogs by people you don't know, so don't be insulted. But I'd love to know - what advice do YOU have for the lame and deluded?

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* The City of SF's official long-range economic plan is not to increase the job base substantially, but increase the tax base by continuing to cultivate an ultra-high-skilled labor force.

I think of myself as a pretty cosmopolitan guy. I've traveled, I keep up on world issues (that's why I read the Economist, one of the only newspapers that care about other countries), and I live in an incredibly diverse and globally-linked city. SF may have its German tourists, but we have world trade as the linchpin of our economy (unlike, say, SF's corporate law - sorry, I couldn't resist that). Yesterday I'm hanging out at the usual place, having a smoke, when this tall man walks up and asks, in an accent I've never heard before, if this is a bar. I look at him: he's wearing a big black hat, a double-breasted black vest, an odd backpack, and carrying a walking stick (!). Now, I've lived in the East Bay basically all my life, so what do I assume about him? A. He's Hasidic. (No, that's the NYC answer) B. He's Amish. (No, that's the Philly answer) C. He's a tourist from an isolated Alpine village. (No, that's the SF answer) D. He's a freak. (Bingo! They don't call it Bezerkeley for nothing) I basically laugh right at him, although not in a terribly mean way. But after he goes back outside to smoke his carved wooden pipe (with tobacco), I decide to follow him out and strike up a conversation, as he's been maintaining his accent while ordering his beer. So, dude is from an isolated Alpine village! But he's not a tourist. He's travelling the world in 3 years and 1 day practicing traditional German carpentry. I thought that was pretty neat. Just goes to show, in the global economy, all roads lead to my bar.

So, after MySpace was down yesterday, it seems that everyone I know posted a blog. Not wanting to feel left out, I thought I'd join you all.

A Penny for My Thoughts?

I have to delete all the references to the Oakland Ballet from my marketing material, because IT FOLDED!
Brunch DJs are the lowest rung on the DJ ladder.
DiFi came through and voted to support the filibuster of Alito! Of course, we're still going to lose our rights, but at least my senators didn't help.
My friend wrote an article about the DTO for the SFBT in which he speculates wildly and lies about our crime rate. Looks like I need a new friend.
There's a great commercial right now with Joey Lawrence saying, "woah."
I am very annoyed with my friends who are not on MySpace. How am I supposed to make plans with them?
On the other hand, I finally found some friends from HS here, which is fun.
I feel bad for Google - everyone's mad at them but Yahoo! and MSN are so much worse.
My roommate finally made himself a MySpace page!
It's time to get serious about the Oakland mayoral election. Zombie politicians from the 70s must be stopped!

You guys owe me a dime.

Quiz is my favorite neologism (well, it was new about one hundred years ago). Apparently, bloggers are obsessed with quizzes. The very first quiz I ever took on the Internet was ABC.com's Which Desperate Housewife Are You?, in which they paired me up with Bree (who is extremely hot, although I don't think I could be married to a woman who keeps a photo of Reagan in her living room). In an effort to help my readers know more about me, I took several quizzes. I invite the reader to take one as well and post the results as a comment!

American Cities That Best Fit You:

85hicago

75 hiladelphia

70os Angeles

65ew York City

55 onolulu

You Are 80Average American"

You are average because you rate your appearance 5 or higher. You are not average since you have (at least) a college degree.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

You're A Crazy Drunk

When you drink, you get wrecked - and it ain't pretty.

You Are a Chocolate Martini

You're an elegant drunk, who only likes the best bars and the most expensive drinks. A bit of a cheapskate, you're likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers. You should never: Drink and dash. You're gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab! Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar. Your drinking soulmates: those with a Classic Martini personality Your drinking rivals: those with a Blueberry Martini personality

You Are French Food

Snobby yet ubiquitous. People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list. You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

Which Britney Spears are you? Sexy Almost Naked Britney You are young and you have nothing to hide. You are a free spirit who has fun dancing and being sexy. You will be old with wrinkles some day, enjoy it while you can.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.