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April Garris


Last Updated: 12/6/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Divorced
Age: 39
Sign: Sagittarius

City: Somewhere in So Cal
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/12/2007

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May 12, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  quiet


The Trump Tower is one of the most famous hotels in New York City. It stands 58 stories high, the tallest structure of this type in New York City when completed. When we think of the Trump Tower, we automatically think of Donald Trump, who financed the design and construction of it.

Most people, when looking at it, would not say “Wow, look at that fabulous hotel that the guys at Joe’s Construction (or whoever built it) put together.” No – we would automatically think of Donald Trump, and say “Wow, look at this fabulous hotel that Donald Trump built.” After all, he was the one who financed, organized, and spearheaded the project, and even though he hired other people out to build it, it is his hotel, and his name is on it


I thought of this as I was reading 1 Peter 4:10,11: As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers let him do it as with the ability which God supplies


Here, Peter is speaking about spiritual gifts as they are used in the church. The Bible describes the church as God’s temple, and His people as the stones that comprise that temple (1 Peter 2:5).


Notice what the verse points out: It is GOD who supplies the ability. Even though God uses people to carry out His work, it's ultimately His building, and He supplies the materials (abilities) for the work to be carried out -- just as a businessman supplies all the materials necessary for a general contractor to carry out the work, but it is ultimately the businessman’s project.


It occurred to me that a lot of times, we see what goes on at church, and we automatically focus on the people rather than God. We hear the sermon on Sunday morning, and we think what a great job the pastor did in expositing the Scriptures, or we see the worship team praising the Lord, and we think about how great they sounded. This is somewhat natural, but the Bible reminds us the church is God’s handiwork, and that we are merely instruments. It’s so easy to look at the different ministries, and have our attention automatically focus to the people rather than God, but the Bible says that we are to be mindful of who it is that actually builds up the church.


Just like we wouldn’t look at the Trump Tower, and think about the guys he hired to build it; likewise, when we look at the goings-on of a church, we are to look at the master builder, Jesus Christ. We are to focus on how He is working through His people, and give glory to Him, rather than focusing only on the people themselves.


Moreover, 1 Cor. 12:11 tells us: But one and the same Spirit works all things, distributing each one individually as He wills


God not only supplies the materials necessary to build His house, but He also distributes those materials necessary for His work to be carried out. Not only is God in charge of construction, but also administration, namely of spiritual gifts. The worship team, the Sunday school teachers, the pastors – they are all stewards of what God supplies to them. It is God working through them, rather than their own talents or efforts.


1 Cor. 4:7   For what makes you different from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?


I love how Eph. 2:20-22 lays out how the church is put together: having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit


It basically reminds us that, not only is God supplying the materials necessary to build the church, but He is also shaping us and refining us as individual stones to fit together perfectly for the work that He has for us.

When Solomon built the temple, there was no mortar used to hold the stones together, but each stone had to be individually and precisely hewn and shaped so that they all fit together perfectly, with no gaps between the stones. That’s sort of how Jesus working in our lives – individually, He is shaping and molding us, so that we fit together perfectly with one another as a unit. He is refining us individually as stones, and gifting us as ministers.


I just love the thought of Jesus Christ as the Master Builder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5:12 AM 
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May 9, 2009 - Saturday 

Current mood:  determined

Hey, everyone;

I am planning a missions trip to Israel for this September, and I could really, really use your prayers. I am very excited, and I know that the Lord is going to do marvelous things!!! I will be helping a church out there, helping to distribute food and Bibles, and also helping with a building project.

I have never been to Israel, and I am so excited about being able to serve the Lord there. I have wanted to go on a missions trip for over a year, and the Lord is so good, He has opened this awesome door of opportunity for me. I will be going to apply for my passport this week, and I need to figure out a way to raise the money. It's a lot of money, but where God guides, He provides.

Please pray that the Lord, even now, begins to build me up. Pray that He fills me with His wisdom and knowledge, and that He empowers me to be an effective witness to His people. Pray that He fills my heart with compassion and love, and that He guides me according to His will, and in His perfect wisdom.

I know that Satan is going to try and distract and discourage me in the months to come, and I can tell he already is. I have been feeling rather depressed lately, and there are times when I just feel so useless for God, or thinking that He doesn't want to use me. I know that there is no truth to this at all, and that it is just a ploy from the enemy to try and distract me from what God has called me to do. Even so, thoughts can be quite overpowering, but we all know that God's word is a million times more powerful.

It is crucial that I am built up in God's word, and I know that He will help me with this -- but I also know that I am in a spiritual battle. Even so, it's not my battle, but the Lord's. Psalms 108:13 promises us that through God, we shall do valiantly.

I want to serve God to the best of my ability, and I know that it's not me, but God working in and through me. I pray that He ministers through me, as I reach out to others. Please pray that God allows everything to go smoothly, in every single area. Pray that I get my passpot quickly, and that my boss allows me the time off of work. Also, pray that God provides the funds in a timely manner.

Thank you all so much, and God bless you for your prayers. Please, also continue to pray for all of our brave missionaries who risk their lives every day to share the Gospel, and further God's Kingdom.

http://www.hsminc.org/ 

8:17 PM 
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May 8, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  calm
Hey, everyone;

Recently, I was interviewed by one of my MySpace friends, for a blog series he is doing, regarding my walk of faith and my past involvement in porn. Below is the link, and I just want to invite you guys to read it, and please post your thoughts.

I just love talking about how the Lord has changed my life, where He has brought me, and what He is doing. His love and grace continue to amaze me. In this interview, I talk about how the Lord has changed my life, the direction that He is taking me, and my thoughts about the porn industry in general.

I hope that you enjoy it, and I thank you for taking the time to read it.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=106689941&blogId=487775077

Okay -- I'm not sure if this link takes you directly to the interview, but if you cut and paste this in your address bar, it should work. I really hope that this blesses you. Thanks so much.

2:34 AM 
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April 26, 2009 - Sunday 

Do you ever think about the idea of God being a consuming fire in your life?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately -- just the idea of God's Spirit completely consuming mine, and burning away everything that isn't pleasing to Him.

I know that when the Bible talks about God being a consuming fire, it is almost always referring to God's judgment; but even so, I often think about God's Spirit as a consuming fire in my own life. As I grow closer to Him, His Spirit consumes mine....not consume as in destroy, but consume as in His Spirit completely taking over mine, burning away the dross, and refining me into the person that He wants me to be. Basically, transforming me into His image.

I think this is such a beautiful thought, because I know that there are so many things that we struggle with on a daily basis....so many things that can become strongholds in our lives -- fears, addictions, things that are holding us back spiritually. In Genesis 4:7, God tells Cain:

If you do not do well, sin lies at the door, and it's desire is for you, but you must rule over it 

That's why we need the consuming fire of the Lord to burn all of the sin and impurity from our lives. As we grow closer to Him, His Spirit begins to refine us, and all of the impurities and strongholds in our lives start to be consumed.

I think about the person I am now, as compared to how I used to be. I think about all of the things that defined me before I met Jesus -- insecurity, drug addiction, depression, loneliness. This was who I was, and all of these things were a part of me. Before silver is refined, it contains a lot of impurities. Before it is burned, these impurities are actually a part of the silver's molecular make-up, but as it is refines, the impurities burn away. They were once in the silver, but they become separated from it.

This is a lot how I see God's Spirit working in us -- He takes things that were once a part of us, strongholds that kept us in bondage, and the consuming fire of His Spirit burns them away, refining and beautifying us.

Zech. 17:9   And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon My name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'"

As His Spirit continues to consume mine, I am able to walk according to the Spirit, and not according to the flesh. All of things that used to hold me captive, and that I used to struggle with, God continues to consume those things in my life....all of the sin and insecurities and fears. I just want God to completely consume all of those things, and just overwhelm my spirit with His.

I really think that this goes so well with the idea of bring transformed into His image. Going through the refining process can be very painful. It's always painful when things that used to define us are taken away. It doesn't even have to be a habit or an addiction -- It can be friends, or things that you enjoyed, but were holding you back spiritually. It's really a whole shift in identity, which that can be painful. Even so, it makes us stronger, and brings us even closer to God.

If we are not consumed by God's Spirit, then we will be consumed by His judgment.

2:26 AM 
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April 10, 2009 - Friday 
Dear friends;

Well, today is Good Friday -- the day that we commemorate Christ's death on the cross. It's a very emotional day, because I get to thinking about all that Christ has done for me, and the indescribable agony that He went through as He hung dying on the cross -- not just the physical agony, but the emotional agony, as well.

On top of all of this, though, there was a spiritual agony that often gets bypassed when people talk about the crucifixion. I've been thinking quite a bit about this lately, and I'd just like to share it with all of you.

Isaiah 53:5 describes for us just why it is that Jesus had to die the agonizing death that He did, and what His substitutionary death did for us:
Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows...but He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

On the cross, Jesus bore not only our sins, but all of the pain and suffering that we have ever experienced. All of our hurts, our sorrows, our pain, and our suffering -- Christ felt it all on the cross, which is why His death is such a miraculous act of love and mercy, and why it says in Heb. 2:17:

Therefore, in all things he had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, he is able to aid those who are tempted

And also in Heb. 4:15

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Yes, Christ understands all of our pain and our weakness, because He felt it all. Even so, there is something else that He experienced on the cross -- something that each and every person who has ever lived has experienced, knowingly or unknowingly. Before we came to Christ, we were all separated from God, although we didn't understand the gravity of this reality until we came to Him, because we were blinded by our sinful condition.

Those who do not know Christ do not understand their condition. Those of us who do know Christ, can understand it to an extent, just because we recall the qulaity of our lives before coming to know the lord, and the vapidity and futility of it all. We cannot even imagine life without Him. We understand how dead we were before, but even so, we cannot comprehend it on the scale that Jesus did. When Christ was on the cross, He, too, was became spiritually separated from the Heavenly Father.....the eternal fellowship that He aways knew was momentarily severed, and he understood the spiritual condition of being separated from God. 

Mt. 27:45-46   Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness all over the land. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"

In that brief moment, Jesus Christ understood what it was like to be separated from the Heavenly Father, and to be in sin. When Christ hung dying on the cross, all of the sin of the world was placed on Him. The Bible tells us that sin separates us from God. Not only that, but at that moment, the Heavenly Father turned His back on Jesus. At that time, Christ understood the plight of the unsaved man, in a way that unsaved man cannot understand, or even comprehend -- to be in sin, and separated from God. This must have been an incredibly agonizing position for Christ to be in, seeing as how he had never been separated from the Father -- but He was willing to be separated from Him, to bring us back into fellowship with Him. For those of us who know and love God, we can only begin to comprehend how painful this must have been for Christ.

For those of us who have experienced moments when we think that God has abandoned us, we know how painful and scary those moments can be. Now think of what Christ must have been going through on the cross. When the Bible says that Christ was tempted in all points as we are. Christ underwent being abandoned by the Father, for one brief moment, so that we would never be alone again.

This is one of the reasons why Christ has such a heart and passion for those who are lost in their sin. He understands where they are -- completely separated from the Father, and in sin. He understands, because for one agonizing moment, He was at that place. He also understands that if they die in that place, that they can never be restored. I don't know about you, but when I think about this, it gives me an even stronger appreciation for what Christ went through for my salvation. As we celebrate Easter, I just want to encourage you to think about how much Christ went through on the cross -- not only physically and emotionally, but spiritually. Then, think about the glorious victory He won on Easter Sunday, when He rose from the dead, and conquered death.

For those of you who do not know the Lord, just know that Christ loves you. He was willing to be separated from His beloved Father for you, and He does understand all of your pain and sorrow. He felt them on the cross. He wants to take them from you, and I want to encourage you to let Him.

Have a wonderful Easter weekend, and may God bless you richly.
9:44 PM 
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March 29, 2009 - Sunday 
 
"China's top banker proposes new world reserve currency"

"Moscow supports IMF super-currency"

"In an essay published Monday, the head of China's central bank proposed a plan to displace the American dollar as the world's standard and replace it with a global reserve currency operated from the International Monetary Fund."

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Chines...orld_0323.html

As this happens and globally the dollar becomes worthless we will owe our debts on the new reserve currency at a huge markup.

Trillions become quadillions, if that is a word.

Also, look at how much real estate in our country is held by China and others as collateral on our loans. It won't be pretty when the creditors come home to roost because all those we owe will be coning to take the collateral to sell on the new value since they don't want the devalued money at the new exchange rate on a superior value currency.

We will be parted and pieced out like an old car. They will dump our debt on the public market, the dollar goes south and we end up in national chaos.

This information was passed onto me by a fellow believer, and I thought it was important enough to post. I'm no economist, but it seems common sense that if the American dollar is replaced by some global reserve currency as the universal standard, that America's economic place in the world will be pretty much in the toilet.
There is a reason why America is not mentioned in the Bible as a major player in the end-times events, and I think that a formidable collapse of our economic system could be a very valid reason for this. If we have no economic influence in the world, we also would have very power in the global political spectrum.
This one-world economy is spoken of in Scripture, and it will be controlled by the anti-Christ. The mark of the beast will be used as identification by which to buy and sell....those who do not take the mark will not be able to participate in commerce or trade.
The financial crisis in our country is affecting the whole world, and implementing a one-world economy would seem the perfect solution. For those of you who do not know the Lord, I implore you to take a serious look at global events, and where things are headed. We are headed in the direction of globalization, and this is how the anti-Christ will establish himself in the end times.

Luke 21:28  Now when you see these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, for your redemption draws nigh.

For everyone reading this, I would implore you to get right with the Lord. The Bible says that nobody knows the day or the hour of the Lord's coming, but rest assured, it is coming, and for those who do not know the Lord, judgment awaits.

Please understand, I am not trying to beat you over the head with doom and gloom, but as a Christian, I care too much about your eternal welfare to at least inform you about these things.

The decision is yours, but I pray that you make the right one.

Much love, and blessings to you
   
1:54 AM 
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March 23, 2009 - Monday 
1 Cor. 13:13    And now abideth faith, hope, and love. These three. But the greatest of these is love.

For the past few months, I've been thinking a lot about my service to the Lord, and exactly what kind of works are the most edifying. One of the hardest things I've been having to deal with, as I have grown closer to the Lord, is this innate tendency I have to earn His love, which I know is not Scriptural, but for me, this just seems to come so naturally.

I've pretty much spent my whole life trying to earn the love of those around me. Ever since I can remember, I've had issues with low self-esteem and personal insecurity. Truthfully, I never felt I was worth much, and deemed myself unworthy of anyone's love unless I earned it, which meant going out of my way to please people, and not being able to accept kindness without some payback on my part. I don't think it had as much to do with an alterior motive on their part as it had to do with feeling unworthiness on mine.

For those of you who have struggled with this, you know the kind of frustration this creates...never being able to let anyone outgive you, and feeling guilty if they did, as if you were taking something that you were not entitled to. It was this weird mix of self-centeredness and self-loathing (which in itself is a form of self-centeredness, because your focus is on yourself, and how worthless you are).
Anyhow, this is a mindset that I have struggled with for so many years, that when I came to the Lord, I found it creeping into my own relationship with God. It's weird, because everyone knows that you can never outgive God -- emotionally, materially, or spiritually -- yet here I was, trying my hardest to win His love, in my futile attempts to do more and more to please Him. In a way, I was trying to earn His favor, and I found myself slipping into a weird kind of works-based relationships...what could I do in my own efforts to please Him? 

Eph. 2:8   For by grace you have been saved through faith, and not of yourselves. It is a gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

I'm sure we all know that Scripture very well. I thought I did. I knew that my salvation did not depend upon my own works...that nothing I did could bring me closer to Heaven....but I just couldn't grasp the fact that I couldn't make God love me any more, or less, than He already does. This was such a hard concept for me, because I was so used to trying to earn the favor of people, and feeling so unworthy of their love. In essence, I was trying to please the Lord by my own efforts.....many of which were not done in the right spirit:

Rom. 8:8   So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Even though I loved God, the things that I was doing for Him...I was completely in the wrong spirit. I was trying to earn God's favor and love through a works-based salvation, rather than resting in Him, and allowing Him to work through me. It was such a struggle, because the more I would try to do, the more I realized how small my efforts were, compared to what He did for me on the cross.

So, then, what kind of works please God? I know that a lot of  my efforts were fueled by the wrong motivation -- I was trying to earn God's love by doing things that I thought would please Him...even my obedience was in the flesh, because I was trying to do it in my own strength, more out of fear than love...not really afraid that God would punish me, but that He somehow would love me less if I wasn't perfect. 
Well, the Bible says that no one can please God in the flesh, so obviously, works done in the Spirit are the only ones that please Him....but how do we know our works are being done in the Spirit? The apostle Paul describes the work of the Spirit in the verse that I initially quoted:

1 Cor. 13:13  And now abide faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.

I really think that this is such a wonderful criteria by which to examine your works, to make sure that they are done in the right spirit. The apostle Paul also refers to faith and love as being a criteria for good works:

Heb. 6:10    We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.....

The Bible tells us that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ for good works (Eph. 2:10). What this says to me is that the works that we do...they are not our works, but the works of Christ that He does through us. Faith, hope, and love are character traits that signifiy the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and working through us. So, then, what are works of faith, hope, and love?

James 2:14-16   What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?

 1 John 3:17   But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?

The love of God in us stirs up good works (Heb. 6:24), through which we  minister to our fellow Christians (Heb. 6:10). In the book of 1 Corinthians, Paul talked about testing the sincerity of our love by our giving.

The love of God is manifested through us, through our works. This doesn't mean that our salvation is justified by our works, but our works are an outpouring of the love of God that is in us. The Bible says that our works will be tested by fire, to see of what sort they are (1 Cor. 3:13). Our works will be tested by our motivation, not our salvation by our works. We are supposed to have a faith that is alive and active, and if the love of God is not working itself through us, it is a dead faith.

There are also works of faith. James 2:18,19 says this:

But someone will say "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe -- and tremble! But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?

James then goes on to talk about Abraham and Rahab, and how their acts of faith justified them in God's sight. Again, this is not referring to salvation...It's referring to faith. The Bible says that Abraham believed in God, and his faith was accounted to him for righteousness (Rom. 4:2).

Rom. 4:5   But to him who does not work, but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted to him for righteousness.

Both Abraham and Rahab believed in God, and they acted upon that belief. If a person says "Oh, I trust in God," but doesn't step out in faith, then that faith is pretty much dead, because it is not manifesting itself in action. Therefore, faith (belief in God) without works is dead. Rahab and Abraham demonstarted works of faith, and their faith was counted to them for righteousness.

When we step out in faith, we are allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us...faith justified by works. Even when we accept Jesus for salvation, we are stepping out in faith. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.
The last thing I guess I need to touch on are works of hope. I think that this is pretty much just perserverance...It's believing in the promises of God to such a degree that we perservere, even in hardship. 

Rom. 8:24,25      For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is not seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perserverence.

The Bible says that the things which are not seen are eternal (1 Cor. 4:18). Our eternal hope is Jesus Christ, so when we perservere in expectation of the blessed hope, our works are justified. The Bible tells us that Abraham, after he had patiently endured, obtained the promise (Heb. 6:13)

Heb. 6:11,12      And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience

I think that, as Christians, a lot of our works are rooted in hope -- the earnest expectation that the promises of Christ will be fulfilled. This isn't a hope that lacks confidence...a maybe kind of hope....but an absolute assurance that Christ will do what He sais. That is a sure motivation of our works.

Faith, hope, and love -- this is the work of the Holy Spirit inside of us. When our works are a manifestation of these 3 things, then we know that our works are being done in the right spirit. Really, I don't think that you can have any of these 3 things without the Holy Spirit working in your heart.
 
 
 

 
3:44 AM 
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February 16, 2009 - Monday 
This was sent to me by a friend, and I thought I'd share it:
 

We all know or knew someone like this!!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him..

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.

' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.  

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ' Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends....

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile, 'Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions..
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
12:08 AM 
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February 8, 2009 - Sunday 
Hey, everyone;
The following is a synopsis of the AVN Porn Convention outreach that happened last month. Once again, the Pink Cross was there to distribute gifts, love, and let fans know the truth about porn, and the porn stars know that they do not have to continue selling themselves in the porn industry. Every girl is special in God's eyes, and is made for better things than porn. That's what the Pink Cross was there to show them, representing the Lord Jesus and the truth of His Word.
The following was posted from the Pink Cross website. I hope you will read it, and be blessed. Please pray that God will continue to reach out to those who were there, and that they would open their hearts and respond to His truth. I have also posted a gallery with pictures of the convention outreach, which you can find in the photos section of this page. I pray that you are blessed by the following testimony of God's work in action:

 
 
Las Vegas, Nevada, January 11, 2009 - History was made in January, 2009, at the Adult Entertainment Expo Porn Convention in Las Vegas where for the first time ever five ex porn stars Jan, Shelley, Tamra, Patrice, and Adina gathered together at the Pink Cross Foundation booth to reach out to thousands of porn stars and porn fans with free gifts, the Good News and the truth about porn. Three of the five ex porn stars attended last year’s convention as porn stars but this year they came as missionaries for Pink Cross Foundation!

We handed out thousands of bags of beauty supplies, jewelry, t-shirts, hats, books, Gospel tracts, porn statistics, information about sexually transmitted diseases, CDs, Bibles, purses, internet filters, testimonies of ex porn stars and more thanks to many of you who donated. You truly made a huge difference in thousands of lives!

What God did was absolutely amazing and has never been done before in any porn convention! God not only showed up with free gifts, He offered Himself as The Free Gift to those trapped in porn. Many people responded and are now requesting help from Pink Cross Foundation.
Many other wonderful volunteers joined us at the Las Vegas convention including Julie Shematz, President of Beauty from Ashes Ministries in Florida, Heather from Campus Ministries, Melanie songwriter and singer, Scott, Director for Pink Cross Foundation, Jennifer Williams, Photographer, Garrett Lubben my wonderful husband and co-founder of Pink Cross Foundation and even MTV True Life filmed us with porn star Jayden James.

We lovingly explained to Jayden, a 22 year old woman, the consequences she may endure to include sexually transmitted diseases, reproductive organ damage, broken family relationships, prostitution and possible drug abuse. 

She argued she was “different” although admitted that she had a problem with drugs less than one year ago. She also admitted by age 22 she already caught Chlamydia twice. I asked her if she was aware that Chlamydia leads to cancer later in life but she really felt it couldn’t happen to her. She also admitted on camera that 90% of the girls in porn are addicted to drugs and shouldn’t be in porn. I guess she feels she is in the 10% elite that won’t be negatively affected by porn.
 
She also expressed how excited she was when she was nominated for the award and how she cried over it. Tears over a porn award? I asked her what she thought her grandchildren and children would think of her award if she won. Was this the grand legacy she would leave them? She told me she believes she can make porn and have a healthy family at the same time. I argued that less than 10% of porn performers have normal healthy families. Again, she must think she's in the 10% elite.
 
When we asked her what would happen if she didn’t win the Best New Starlet award she said it would be a “kick in the ass”. After the AVN Awards show announced she didn’t win, the next day I was tempted to ask her how her rear end felt.
But God didn’t let me because He showed He has a huge heart as well as huge plans for Jayden. She is a very intelligent and beautiful woman who can be anything she wants to be and my prayer is she will allow God to come into her life to show her the endless possibilities He has for her. He loves her, wants her to live a safe and healthy life, wants to give her a beautiful family and do amazing things above and beyond all she could ask or think. Jayden is no dumb woman and I pray she listened to the message of three ex porn stars who have been there and done that!

With five ex porn stars, an ex stripper and loving volunteers on a mission to reach out to porn stars and porn fans all weekend long you can imagine how many gifts and hugs were given out.

The revival in the porn industry has definitely begun. Never before have more porn stars left the porn industry than in the last two years. Please pray for these precious girls EVERY SINGLE DAY and that God would heal their lives and reveal His perfect plan for their lives!

Pink Cross Foundation also reached out to porn fans to educate them about porn and we encouraged many men to go back to their families and stop wasting their lives on porn. Porn will only destroy them and fill them with shame and guilt but God has plans to prosper them and make them into the great Fathers and Husbands they are destined to be! We need you men to rise up and lead our nation into greatness! 

I was so blessed to see my very special friend formerly known as male porn star VJ Soporno who came to me a couple years ago for help and who is doing awesome now! He was actually in Las Vegas at the same time as the convention teaching men how to deal with their addictions. God has done amazing things in this man! He stopped by the convention to say hello and surprised me! That makes six ex porn stars gathered together in the middle of a porn convention. Only God could do that!

There is so much else I could write about all God did. He overwhelmed me this year with His power and greatness and especially His love. His love for people in porn is so great and I am so blessed to be a part of History being made in the porn industry. God is moving on the porn industry in a way that is unprecadented. I asked Him why now and He told me, “People simply said yes to my purposes.”

What if we all said yes to God? Can you imagine what God would do in our nation and the world? He wants to use you no matter where you are at in life. You don’t have to have ability but AVAILABILTY and God will fill you with His Spirit and power and will work through you to change your generation!

Get ready for more porn stars to leave. About one girl a day is coming to us for help and even several men. I believe this whole industry will be emptied out within five years if we keep following God and His purpose to set thousands of people free in the porn industry. Please consider donating and helping us continue this great revival in the porn industry. I sincerely thank all of you who have been faithful supporters because without you, there is no way we could reach so many lives!
And guess what, we already got invited back next year!
God is good!
 
If you are struggling with porn Pink Cross can help! Visit our free web site at www.thepinkcross.org where you will receive large doses of truth, read candid stories of ex porn stars, chat in free forums to receive help from ex porn addicts, free work shops, articles and videos and most important God’s amazing Grace to set you free and teach you how to live a powerful life in Christ!
 
 
 
 
7:21 AM 
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February 4, 2009 - Wednesday 

Hey, everyone;




I just wanted to share some stuff that I've written over the past few weeks. Sometimes, life can seem like just some random series of meaningless events, and much of it, at the present time, doesn't make sense. It's so natural to question the whys and wherefores of life, especially when so much of it consists of pain, emptiness, and confusion....how on earth could such things profit us?




Even so, I hold fast to the promise that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).




Unfortunately, it's so hard to understand the overall purpose that God has for us, because we perceive life from a completely microcosmic view that entails day-to-day living. We lack the panoramic view, because we live our lives in the present. Thankfully, we serve a God that sees our lives outside of time, and our tomorrows while they are still todays.





 




 



YOU ARE:



Infinite in beauty and grace....
The author of color and life....
And of wonders undiscovered ....
In this life, and the next....



You are the source....
The root from which all things grow....
The bud that blossoms into spring....
And the morning dew that falls on every leaf....



You are the gift of life....
That I often take for granted....
And the sovereign compass....
That guides me into Your arms....




You are the benevolent One....
The gentle soul ....
in which mine takes comfort....

The tranquil presence that draws my spirit....
Into perfect rest....

You awaken my senses....
Into vibrant shades of wisdom....
And fill my heart with joy....
And mend the brokenness




 

HEAR ME



Evening wallows....
In shadows....
And drips into midnight....

Where my darkness awaits....
The tears of hopeless grief....

Moments that I wonder....
Who I am....
And where You are....

You hide in the darkness....
In the vacuous expanse....
Of the blackened skies....
and my darkened soul....

I feel Your presence in the space between....

Still, I must search for You until the daybreak....
Until Your glory has taken hold of....
And torn the curtain of darkness....

It fills the heavens....
And the daybreak with light....
It sings to me when I awaken....
And brings me to my knees....

Your love has breathed new life into my soul....
And I awaken refreshed....
I awaken to wisdom and knowledge....


And my spirit is carried to the shore....


1:03 AM 
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