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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
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The Refundables is a division of the shadowy Legislecutive ("Fourth") branch of the U.S. Federal government. The Refundables has changed significantly since its original directive in 1931, which called primarily for crop destruction, union member sterilization and the suppression of the lesser races. Today, The Refundables is a kinder, gentler covert task force. The board of directors is a tight-knit consortium of Anachronists and Dadaist sympathizers. The energies of the department are focused on progressive social service, often with far-reaching results. For example, The Refundables' "Feed the Wealthy" program, begun in 1994, was singularly responsible for the stabilization of foie gras prices worldwide. For more information about The Refundables or the Legislecutive branch, simply say "I would like more information" within earshot of your computer. An agent will contact you as soon as possible through the nearest window.
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Saturday, July 14, 2007
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Category: Music
-Reuters News Service 7/13/07 Detroit, MI.
A memorial benefit concert for the family of former Refundables bassist Pobo Guest was held last night in his hometown of Detroit, MI. Guest was tragically cut down last September in a band saw accident shortly after being released by the band. Concert curator Justine Flack described the evening as "not a time to mourn, but rather an opportunity to celebrate a man who, for a short time, was fortunate enough to own a bass."
Guest joined the Refundables in 2004 when founding members El Tigre, Thumpstick and 4-Point responded to Guest's ad in a local newspaper which quipped "Got Bass?". The Refundables thought Guest wanted to sell a bass, not play one with them. The band released Guest in late 2005, citing differences in having creativity. Guest died five days later.
The memorial began with the Police performing "Guest Who's Coming to Dinner?", an original song whose chorus repeats the mantra "Pobo Guest, Pobo Guest, Pobo Guest is laid to rest, yeah!". Proceeds from Internet sales of the song benefit Guest's family...indirectly, by going directly to Sting. In what some described as devilishly macabre, comedian Tim Allen paid tribute by sawing a life-size facsimile of Guest in half with a band saw he personally outfitted with an eight-cylinder engine.
Absent from the evening of memories were the Refundables themselves. When questioned, Drummer El Tigre explained: "We are one hundred percent behind this event. We were prepared to work for free. However, our hair and makeup people were not. Such is life." When asked how he will remember Guest, El Tigre responded "We have his bass."
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
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Do you live in Metro Detroit? Do you love music? Are your neighbors cool? Then you're in luck! Post a comment requesting entry into The Refundables' 2007 "From our house to your house" contest. The lucky winner will host a Halloween show (October 31st, 2007) featuring The Refundables! Be the envy of your peers! Bask in The Refundables' reflected glory! Feed us dinner!
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Friday, July 06, 2007
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Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Only two things are certain in this world: Death and everything that is not death. The Refundables are not death. They are the Alpha and the Kappa; the beginning and the middle; a beacon of light for their immediate vicinity. That which was wrought with their mighty collective hand includes: grass, eyesight, five-pin bowling, the Panama Canal, and puppies. SUPPORT THE REFUNDABLES OR YOU SUPPORT DEATH.
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Saturday, June 30, 2007
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The band formerly known as "those guys" is proud to announce the winner of their 2007 International Name-Our-Band Contest Spectacular: "The Refundables", submitted by Mrs. C.F. Greeley. The contest came down to the wire, with "The Refundables" narrowly edging out second-place finisher "The Scrump", submitted by musician and child-sex hobbyist Gary Glitter. Congratulations to Mrs. Greeley, and a hearty "thank you" to the millions of adoring fans who took time out of their busy lives to participate.
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