It smells like leave today, it smells like cold.

A day which could be the perfect fall day. I'm currently sitting in the backyard of one of my friends and I can almost watch the leaves turn a beautiful pallet of brown, yellow, and purple. And to accent this, the sun paints the clouds a dim candy yellow amongst tiny patches of baby sky blue. It is a wonderful evening I must say.
Days like this remind me of elementary school Halloween parties and jumping into piles of leaves, it makes me feel light. Like I could float.

It also reminds me that all things must die to become new again. It's beautiful though, I think I like the end better than the rebirth.

It smells like leaves today, it smells like cold

Crazy Love!
To think I used to think that people who sold their houses and gave to the poor were only extreme, I thought people who could forgive rapists and murderers were overboard, even people who volunteered at homeless shelters were a little out there, only to find out that's what Jesus wants all of us to do... that is simply what is expected.
When I was a younger I wanted to help someone who was homeless and so I went into a cafe, bought a sandwich and brought it out to him with a smiley face on the box. I wanted so bad to make his life a slight bit better and I turned around and heard a thud just to look and watch him turn from the trash can. My sandwich was in there...
I've given a money scarcely since then and with a grudge, knowing that they were only going to buy alchohol with it and it made me mad so I stopped giving.
Recently God called me to begin giving again and basically this poem sums up the transaction.

I screamed at the homeless
"You take my money and buy beer,
That will not fill you stomachs!"
And as I cried through my tears
God screamed inside me
"You take my blessings for your fame,
now the homeless are starving
you're the only one I can blame!"

We are called to give, and when the homeless starve it is our fault, I can not tell anyone how to live their life because I am far from perfect. But, I want everyone to know that you are not the only one who is scared to give of your money, time, and resources, but we all must.
This is a call to everyone I know, love someone as if they were Christ himself

Under the tree
Where the Devil was born
Where Adam met Eve
Reality was torn

I folded my pants perhaps for the first time without being told last night. I wished to have a father there with me. It brought me to this thought as I screamed at God... Adam walked away from Him. So here I wish to take Adam's place, to meet God where Adam would not, here I am God, waiting and ready for you whenever you get here... Please come soon

I road my bike into Walbridge, the town I've live in for the last part of my life. I watched the sun set over it for one of the last times in a long time. This is the town where I received my first real kiss. I spent so many nights spent hanging out with friends, in a coffee shop eating cookies only because they were old and free. I went back to the gazebo in the middle of town where I wrote Nothing Is For Nothing and the park where the county fair was that it was written about. I passed friends houses and thought about knocking on every door... I didn't knock on any of them. I tried to read a book but where I was reading I could almost see my friends one by one turn to ghosts in the spots we lived, loved, and played and they would remain there forever in my mind.
As I road my bike back I saw a man and his young daughter. She couldn't have been older than six, and I thought, she will grow up one day and will she remember this day? laughing with her dad... I wished I could remember all the times I laughed with mine. I saw a boy and girl laughing at something that was a mystery to myself and wished I could remember all the times I laughed with my friends.


Well, here I go
Goodbye Walbridge