for the passing of my xbox 360 of 3 years.

preoccupation.

a feeble attempt at keeping my mind astray from what it's really feeling.

a lost and ever-aimless longing.

something rarely revealed, but so primevally so.

it takes a true linguist sway me. an even better one to break my barriers.

and some days, i find myself sidestepping the absolutes. now is such.

i focus my time on things that revolve around longing. the subtleties, the hintings, the always out of reaches.

i feel it is how i have come to live. always in pursuit of what i can't have, so that i may always have something to pursue.

christmas morning is always better before the presents are opened.

and always best in the fringes of time between wonder and realization.

yeah, i got a watch for christmas, but it was a better watch right before i realized it was a watch.

i'll change timezones a million more times.

i'll plan a million more ways to get wasted.

and find a million more opportunities to drown it all out in carnal pleasures.

so hollowly, so attempting.

making myself believe that what i'm doing is really making me happy.

happy.

'this is what you've been wanting isn't it? to get out more. to go do something wild and get your rush?'

rush.

the peaks and plummets.

i know this one.

you live from peak to peak, all you'll have left at some point is a massive drop.

especially if you have to keep topping successive highs.

let them touch you. they can never really touch you.

really wish someone could.

just take it from day to day. right?

you wish too hard, they'll sense it and run.

you wish too little, they'll sense it and run.

don't wish at all, they'll surprise you one day.

i guess i shouldn't act too ungratefully depressive.

but some folks really know their semantics. genuine eloquence; brocaded, simple. they know how to hit a spot.

no need to be rash.

we wait our whole lives for this.

we dwell on it once it's gone.

the best is yet to come.

maybe.

one day, i'll feel that touch.

call it a double life, but somewhere way and beyond, i am. dreaming.

jenni and i planned it.

all invitees are required to wear robes and a lightsaber.

it'll be groundbreaking.




yeah yeah we're both still reeling from kotor.



natasha's dinner this evening: double shot espresso i drank at noon.

natasha's dinner this evening:
cake batter.

life goes on all around me.

and i'm just frozen in my tracks.

gotta get that tattoo.




worst day of my life so far.

remember when i said
'if you're going to be a creep and send me weird messages about how i'm a piece of ass, i'm going to post it in a blog. with your name and location and a link to your profile on it'

??

YOU THINK I'M FUCKING KIDDING?


meet 'trev'.
he lives in price, utah.






give trev a call for me.

or, if you like, send him personal viruses.
here's his ip: 12.152.163.42



==========

#2: i'm a pussy ass bitch yo!

whitney's fun to piss off.



the results are in!

i wake every day with a fresh new emotional hymen.
nothing graphic.
it's just simply a very very VERY hard to break seal on my tear glands.

but i tell you what, when the dam breaks, noah best be getting the wife and kids into the ark.

and in benjamin button's curious case, i found myself still crying six hours later.
through most of finding nemo.
it's sad. he's a cute fish.

well done mr. button.



next up: hugh jackman required to wear wet clothing or none at all.

i'm sorry i gave up on you so easily.

it's my fault you died.

i could have saved you.

i didn't know.
i'm so sorry.
i didn't know.

moved from facebook, where it was violently defiled with the "max 3,000 characters" message.


==================
==================
==================



"dude. you're a member of the natasha boob club!"

"you like your hookers hard?"

"my dad thinks he's REALLY ugly"
"omg i suddenly love your dad"

"Then I can have shitloads of money to buy synths and sequencers and hookers and turntables and drum machines and meth and hookers."

"this, is king kong"

m- "knock with your butt!"
n- "how can they not hear this?"
m- "look at the lasagna!"
n- "fuck. fine. let's just fold their clothes."
m- eeeeeew. his boxers are inside out!"

"how bout you take a shit in my mouth"

"OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO TO ED."

"was dakota fanning a 'screamer'? cuz she did plenty of it in war of the worlds."

"like in alien, she uses a BIG GUN."

"hey have you seen ladder 49?"
"no i need to see ladders 1-48 first."

tishhh says: (3:53:31 AM)i will tell everyone about it
tishhh says: (3:53:40 AM)yarooo
Seth says: (3:54:13 AM)damn you Richard Nixon.
tishhh says: (3:54:27 AM)dick
Seth says: (3:55:00 AM)just throwing his nickname out there? Or do you really really dislike being compared to past presidents?
tishhh says: (3:55:17 AM)throwing his nickname out there
tishhh says: (3:55:23 AM)but your paranoia pleases me
tishhh says: (3:55:32 AM)you will not be sacrificed to the lava god tonight
Seth says: (3:55:47 AM)good, cause I got shit to do tomorrow.
tishhh says: (3:55:53 AM)you will instead do strange things to my feet
Seth says: (3:56:01 AM)no dice.

"we should call her the snail. cuz she leaves a goo trail everywhere."

"what's teabaggin'?"

"im gonna lock the dog in the truck and put my phone in there with it. then you call it."

"McDoucheCoffee"

"use the burrito! get her in the face!"

"i always wanted to own a banana orchard."

"and you can see galaxies in his eyes!"
"dude you just wrote a punk rock song."

"let's do the whack-a-mole thing so everyone in there can see us"

"do you even know what a douche is?"

"Hello there, OnMyDik!"

"lock your door lock your door lock your door"

Natasha: I can't remember who said it.
Seth: Chasen, Jod, Matt, Justin.
Seth: You
Natasha: Yeah me.
Natasha: I said it.

"i'm half thai, and i'm from london."
"god that's so cool."

"OHP. stands for one-handed prostitute. the other one can be 2HP. she still has both hands."

"striiip halo?"

"she doesnt look very sexican"

"haha well I just made up stims
and now i'm calling it that.
or stimmy
if i'm feeling playful"

"walk like eminem!"
"walk like logan?"
"no! walk like eminem!"
"walk like logan."

"ERIICCC! you got football practice!"

"we named a propane tank after him."

"duuuuuuude. i'm freakin sigourney weaver. i fight aliens and shit. i freakin have wrinkles. and who the hell names their daughter 'sigourney' anyway? wtf man. thats like naming your son hannibal or something. but man i was born wrinkley. i got wrinkles all over the place. im sigourney weaver."

"YOU PEE OUT OF THAT?!"

"sandy snatch is SO better than sandy cunt"

"VEEN BETTE EN ZEN MEUFEN STRICHEN"
>>"EVEN BETTER, NOW STROKE MY MUFFIN."

"what the hell's a mugbr? it sounds racist. you're a dirty mugbr."

"big. honkies."

"dude. dude. i think.... i think a cat just ran by.... i don't have a cat.."
"OH MY GOD IT'S A CAT!"

"i screwed a spoon."

"i can't wash my hands. thats a waste of water."
"so do you not use toilet paper either? that's a waste of trees.."
"i use my hand."
"you don't wash your hands-"
"i use my tongue."

"and not to toot my own horn, but i'm going to toot my own horn."

"dude. i can't believe you just donned an accent to get free pins."

"i'm going to force you to have children"

"god i want a doughnut right now."
"you can eat one out."

"i don wanna git outta the treeee"

Seth says: hah. Ai wol.
tish you says: chakawhaaaaa?
Seth says: mwahaha. age of empires humor.
tish you says: yes it would be humorpous if i ever played age of empire
tish you says: *s
tish you says: of fuck this
Seth says: yeah well I kind of said it for my own benefit
tish you says: im kind of laughing my ass off at those typos
Seth says: haha OF FUCK THIS.
Seth says: here, have a nice cup
Seth says: OF FUCK THIS
tish you says: yehh you can go bulletin THAT too
tish you says: ive cried me makeup off
Seth says: hahahaha

"i dare you to go flash vicky."

"pig in a blanket"

"it would just be creepy carnival music and his laugh echoing"

"barge!"

"what if your boobs just inflated one day and got so big that you could bounce around on them everywhere. or what if they filled up with air and kept growing until you couldn't see your face anymore. you'd have to pry them apart with a crowbar to eat. and we'd find all sorts of food crumbs and coke stains and shit. and your hair would be all greasy and matted. and you'd have to float around by your boobs to get anywhere."

"I'M STRUGGLING WITH HEART DISEASE.
lay off it."

"wyatt. wyatt. wyatt. wyatt. wyatt. wyatt. wyatt."
"what?"
"hi."
"who the hell are you??"
"you're sexy."
"....hey."

--"oh yeah he's coming to visit right?"
-"he says he is"
--"dont. get. drunk."
-"youre telling me"
--"he's probably perfected date rape too."
-"no. i know what i'll do.
if he starts getting fancy ill just have to slap him and throw him outside"
--"haha the mental image of the implication of him getting "fancy" is hilarious.
just this big stupid grin and jilting neck motions with jazz fingers"

"hey nicole, you're strong. you can open this."
"hey matt, you're a guy. you can open it."
"hey ember. you're a lesbian. you can open it."

"so, back when bobbi and i thought we could do witchcraft..."

"cowboy bebop and samurai champloo are moderate, afro samurai is a bit shorter, and fooly cooly is super short (6 episodes). and i'm a young 19 year old male looking for a good time in Cedar City."

"pinky. cuz we could stick them in his gauges."

"jolene, jolene, jolene, joleeeeeeeene!"

"god i wish i worked in tv."
"well, go to hollywood. hire an agent. blow a few execs."
"there's got to be more to it than that"
"fine, sleep with a few execs."
"there's still more to it than that."
"be talented."

"jux thing?"

"i will represent myself through badly drawn circles"

"shush, my meebo tab is flashing, I need to go see what you said."

"i can't sleep with earplugs because i might swallow them."

"thank you, but I have to go poop.  I will reflect on our friendship as I let one go."

"PWEPWARE
PWEPW
PWEPA
WOPPEWWWEEE
PEWEEEPARE
PWE PWE
get ready"

"Oh My GOD THIS HURTS BUT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN HAVING TO PRESS ENTER MYSELF."

[05:23] madness: WE ARENT LIKE GRASSHOPPERS
[05:23] sanity: I DO NOT HAVE A BIG HEAD.

adam says: (3:49:02 AM)
hmmm im kinda hard
adam says: (3:49:06 AM)
tired*
adam says: (3:49:10 AM)
sorry typo.
adam says: (3:49:24 AM)
............................

"but again, i didnt understand the hotel in the middle of nowhere that just happens to be made of wood and hydrogen...and then when one car barely hits the unguarded wall in the parking garage like any car could by accident..the whole thing goes nuclear"

"man, i wish i was a secret agent. so i could casually drop innuendoes and have sex with everyone."

"where did I get samueloajweofij"

"I clenched a chisel between my cheeks of steel and cut the way to salvation onto stone tablets for moses to show to his peeps"

"pugfish. what-what."

"not literal butt-fucking you phillistine"

"any conversation held between you and I is going to have a shorter virgin-time than whitney alvey."

"i'm too drunk to jerk off thank you.
and I already did twice today. not sure why
read a bukowski book that really got me for some reason."

"k. he's got that on, and you have that, and there's a bird chirping in the background, i'm just gonna go."

"walk me very far."

"yeah! we should invite bailee and amy!"
"you mean the land of a hundred cocks and amy?"

"ooo what's that doing hanging out?
i can't believe i just said that."

"horse dentures."

"always seek a second opinion.
even if it's rape."
"second opinion says
whore."
"third opinion says
legend."

"if i was with kmart i would be walmart
and we would make a bunch of targets."

"you're a white volkswagen. white or silver."

"meh. he's probly balls-deep in a lizard right now."

"it doesn't matter how gently you did it. it's like putting a baby face-down."

"nishibi moode. do you have any pebbles for me to dig through?"

"don't touch my wife!"

"roxie: my rolls suck niggertits"

==================
==================
==================

i'm looking for someone 19-26 willing to take me to the bodyworlds exhibit between now and the 19th. and pay.

i will put out.







..

im kidding.

go away.

6am.

Ain't gonna get no sleep.
Ain't gonna gonna get no sleeeeeeep.

Typin shit on iPods.

Reason everythings capitalized.

Have to wake up at 10ish.

But played mass effect all night.

Whoa ohhhh.

I
hate
everything.
Spent the weekend pissed off at random shit. Oh.

I
hate
everything.

Dananananana na na na woo.

Gonna come up with an excuse for why this song blows.

so today im on the bus. heading back to my room.
eating a fat roast beef sub.

shamelessly.

i'm a carl's jr bimbo.

and people stared, shot dirty looks.
like i'd murdered the cow in front of them.


twas a damn good sub.