i have the twilight lip venom! it smells like cinnamon. its some awesome stuff. the only red lip color i have ever owned. check it out.




notice the rob covered wall in the background.. omg.. thats really embarrassing.

garrett also found out the lip color they use on Kristen Stewart as "bella" in the movie.. and of course i bought it.

its benefit's silky finish lipstick in "good to go"




 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ojz8lmwUZA

rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattz rpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattzrpattz

i need moar rpattzzzzzzzzzz


OMFG i'm such a fangirl!! sqeee

alsooo

kstew... omg kstew... the things i would do to/for her.. unf.




okay... i'm glad i got that out.. =)

I've wanted to write this for the longest time.. but never had well the time to do it. thats an excuse, more like courage i guess. I want to apologize for the people i have hurt or abandoned since i returned from rehab almost 4 years ago. all of you have had substantial influences in my life. some helped me through hard times, carried me (some literally) when i was at my worst. others helped me realize self worth and saved me another trip to rehab. some gave me the strength to keep going when i had nothing left. some gave me their hearts and others their time. looking back, i never meant to lose contact with any of you. i never meant to hurt you. if i did, i truly am sorry. i think about the things that i have done in my life and the changes that continually happen to me, shaping me into a different individual. i am not the same person i was when i knew most of you. you all have influenced the person i am today. i guess i avoid confrontation at all costs and if i feel something may be wrong i tend to hide away within myself and avoid speaking the truth, or how i feel, in fears of hurting the ones i love. when in reality, i end up hurting people by acting flaky or ignoring them all together. perhaps due to my insecurities i have hurt some of you in the past. truth be told i only hurt myself by losing some of the best friends in the world. my mind wanders at night before i fall asleep and oftentimes i find myself thinking of the things i have done in my life and the friends i have met and lost. i wonder how my life may have been changed having still had many of you in my life. i believe i would be a differnet person than i am now.. perhaps a better one. so for what its worth, i'm deeply sorry. and anyone who reads this and knows that this applies to you.. take it to heart and perhaps we may start over.. though it may be too lae and i have only myself to blame.

I've got the BB Dakota jacket Kstew wore in the movie Twilight, before the rest of you motherfuckers who had to preorder it.

 


 


 


 


 

thats right bitches, be jealous.

im exhausted.
school is hard and i feel like my brain is going to explode on a daily basis. i am happy though that i got a 93% on my last pharm test! that whole day and a half of no sleep paid off. if i didnt have to work tomorrow i would be out celebrating.
work is no longer exciting. i hate 5 main and the staff. the NAs are lazy, the RNs are bitchy.. im just sick of it.
TJ left me today to go home for break without saying goodbye. i'm hurt and im not letting this one go. i let too much go as it is in regards to our relationship.
i am 100% obsessed with anything and everything twilight and i cant wait to read eclipse when this semester is over.
 

I'm done with this high risk lifestyle. i will always be the one caught with shit while other people will sneak by trouble for the rest of their lives. its like it stalks me, waiting on me to make on poor choice, say one stupid thing, i'm done putting myself out there to get hurt over and over and over again. from now on, i will only do what i want, when i want. its the only way to survive. and if this means i become boring and lifeless like i used to be.. so be it. i cant keep getting hurt when i have real life decisions to make every day now that will unltimatley affect my future.
peace

im going to have to eat sometime.. i just physically cant do it.
down to 115.. shit

ive been "that girl" many times before.
this must be karma... knowing you tell "that girl" you still love her.
maybe i should start being "that girl" again, with someone else.

edit:
something for you to think about:

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.

so the feeling of regret is finally surfacing and i miss you so incredibly much

if you came back now i dont know what i would do.

probably stay with you.