Gar!

Am I really that bad? Why is it I can't talk to anyone anymore with out being called a bitch? I mean I know I get stuck up, and I'm selfish, and I have to have high priority, but hell you choose to talk and hang out with me. Don't insult me cause you don't like the way I act, cause it's the way I've always acted. I'm not changing for you or anyone else! AND! It's complete shit that you'd even want me too. Why the fuck do you even talk to me if you don't like who I am?

I now have my own phone, all mine, so there is no way it can be taken way or canceled or anything cause I'm paying for it. With my money from my job.

>.<; ever since I started that damn job I just sleep and work. I feel like shit all the time. I want to cry all the time. I don't feel like I have no one again... and in all total honesty I don't have anyone since I lost Mik. And that sucks.

I ran across Alex's myspace on accident today. He's seems so happy it makes me fucking sick. I found myself wishing horrible things on him. I took them back immediatly of course but I'm just so... jelouse. I'm just so pissed that I can't be just as happy as he is.

I keep thinking it's Karma nipping me in the rear. I just keep wishing someone would break his heart. It's horrible I know, and everytime I wish it I take it back. It's not like he ever really cared about me. Not like he ever spent time thinking about me. It's not like he was ever any of the things Mikail was to me. Yet he still bothers me so.

Maybe becuase I put so much trust in him.

I seem to be most attracted to people I know will hurt me.

And that just sucks.

I'm $157/$300 for my mp3. Happy me. I'll start my internship soon. Maybe get a job. Maybe once I've found something to fill my time I'll finally stop feeling so much envy.

Green always was my favorite color though.

Oi, I just wish Alex and Mikail didn't consume my every thoughts.

I don't cry so much over Mikail anymore, I'm better I must admit. Now that I've gotten to chance to really spill for him. Heh.

Everytime I think of either one of them I feel like a stupid little girl used by a big bad man. Even thought most of what happened is my own dumb ass fault.

I make me sick.

signed -Salu- with wickedlittlekisses.

I don't know this song just reminded me of me.

Crossfade

"Broken Like An Angel"

She was a queen
Lost within a dream
Misconceived that he was fit to reign
Lies take victims
Separate them at the seams
Cause them to fall apart
Then move along to better things now

She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that
He's
Satisfied to own her

No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now

She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that he
He's
Satisfied to own her

She'll never know love's true potential
Lost in the open wind
To his impatience
Never feeling they would fall apart
She let her feelings grow
To tears she'll never show now

She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that he
He's
Satisfied to own her

You know he couldn't see
That she could be his everything
Bringing light to everything now
Oh
She just wants to
Fall in love again
She's broken like an angel

Mostly just people I love, but everyone else has their bitchy side to them too. I hate hearing gossip. I don't spread gossip, not intentanially and if I do find out that something I said was considered gossip then I got to the person and I say I'm sorry and that I wasn't trying to make you look bad. I don't like drama, I don't like to argue. I hate people who pretend to be something their not, not because omg your a poser, because people are generally more likeable as they are then as another person. I like indivdualizm but I understand that people feel more comfortable being like everyone else.

I like the things that make us all the same just as much.

I hate how people care more about who or next american idol is then our next president is and then go around and complain about it.

I hate it when people lie to them selves or others, I hate it most when I do it.

In general I hate people, but I all ways look for the best in them. Yet I always complain about them.

Maybe the problem is me, maybe I just hate me.

Is fucking sucks that she makes me pay for things when she knows that I'm dirt poor and jobless.