This shit is crazy right?
guess but don't jump to conclusions.
read the fine text but don't ignore the neon sign.
pay attention to detail, but don't disregard the whole.
There is something in nothing, you just have to find it.

Thursday Jan 18 2007 (I always get weird around my birthday)

What an age.

In the age of knowing just what to do.
In the age of knowing just what is right.
In the age of when I fight to survive.
In the age of-
We're in the age of...



The light in my room is dim tonight. I look out my window to see if I can gaze into my future. Although all I seem to see are ill omens, clouds, forecasting treacherous times ahead.

Damnit I wish I could become a doctor and cure, I wish I made a millions to help those I love; I ask for nothing in return, but expect only the peace I would find as payment.

I fear...
becoming useless and obsolete, when I'm needed most.
the end of those I would die to protect.
my own procrastination

If I don't try I'll never fail, If I never try I'll never succeed.
Youth is my strength and my weakness.

For all the things I don't know I do know this:
love is living flesh, and the intangible...
it's one more breath to continue protecting...
it's one more heart beat of those I'm trying to protect...

Love is also a double edged sword.
Hold on to tight and it will remind you of it's nature...
Losen your grip too much and it will slip right through your fingers.

I can only follow my path to play my part in all of this.
As far as I'm concerned I'm well on my way to doing so.
As with any dream ever followed, sacrifice is always a part of the puzzle.

I'm going full force into something I can't define...
And only hoping that once I reach it most of these clouds would have passed.

       There was once a bridge that connected two kingdoms. The Kingdom named Igh (pronounced like the letter I) and the Kingdom Eh (pronounced like the letter A).

      One day the Lord Igh and Lord Eh, coincidentally, both decided to visit this bridge on the same day. Both, Lord Igh, and Lord Eh were as much a like as they were different. To their surprise the two Lords find themselves on either side of the bridge. Curious and forward both leaders begin a conversation, each realizing just how much a like they were. In no time they became friends. Both nations flourished and enjoyed each others customs and traditions.

       As time passed on the Kingdom of Igh sends out a message to all it's neighboring nations. The message contained great sincerity and honesty. The Kingdoms had spent much time busy, and keeping themselves stable and running. Which didn't leave much time for people to travel back and forth. So it was no wonder that Lord Igh's letter contained invitations for the all the Lord's of these nations and it's people to come and visit his country. Now once Lord Eh received the letter from Lord Igh, he wanted to respond to Lord Igh in his own fashion. Now Lord Eh is the kind of man to mix in humor into serious situations as to keep things light-hearted. So off went the response to Lord Igh, but this humor Lord Igh found disrespectful and humiliating. Enraged Lord Igh decided to travel to the bridge where him and Lord Eh had met. He ordered his soldier's to burn the one bridge that directly connected these two kingdoms. Now what the two nations shared were of no matter, and in the ways they were different became the new lens in which they saw through.

       Not understanding Lord Igh's blunt response Lord Eh could only respond by sending a message which only contained more humor and an invitation to call on him anytime. Lord Eh without his response, sent his messengers, but neither the messengers or the Lord Igh were heard from again.

       The moral is, be more thoughtful of how and where you walk. You might walk all over someones heartfelt kindness.

-El Nava.

As we all know people are frustrating.
We can't laugh without crying.
We can't love without hating.
We ooze duality from every orifice.
We drudge up old memories in an attempt not to forget battle wounds,
and to revel in our bright spots.

"Who are we really?...
...And what is our purpose?"
Questions that we all seek the answers to.
Even if we don't intend to.

This is the world we live in.
One where trees are cutdown so we can wipe our asses.
Where flowers bloom through cement.
Where we enjoy blue skies
Hidden behind a brown smog.
Where nothing feels better than to soak up the sun.
Where nothing is worse than to expect a positive diagnosis.

Despite and inspite of it all, we continue.
Wether or not we rise and learn from our mistakes
Or drown in oblivity...
We continue on...
Until one day...


-El Nava

Who the fuck knows anymore?
Mehhhhh.