I have been thinking of a few things I want to request of the Chanukah wizard this year.  Here they are:

A really good, comprehensive dictionary

&

Self-awareness and skillz

&

Fists coated in smoldering sulfur, so when I punch someone I am effectively affecting two of their senses for a real knockout

&

A ton of money to buy a ton of TVs with that I can shoot at my whim while watching them like Elvis, that just seems really cool and fun.

&

Someone who knows how to animate laser blasts in a video editing tool, or the ability to do it myself.

I have had quite the fucked up back for about a week now, hoping it would work its way back to being strong and manly eventually.  It gave up.  And I gave in today and went to the hospital.  Turns out after telling the doctor I have an eighty year old man's spine in a 23 year old body, accompanied by the virility and mental fortitude as well (assuming of course) I have a lumbar strain.  The cure?  Get fucked up on three medications for five days straight!  I tried not to look TOO excited when he mentioned that, but it was hard to hold back urge to yell "Liquid Oxycodone, WOOT!!"  That is not what I was prescribed though by the way.  I am to go about my normal daily habits during the five day bender, and the only thing I can think of that is supposed to happen with this form of treatment is that I am to get soo bzonked that I have a spiritual awakening in which I convene with the spirit of my spine and question it as to what is really troubling it so that I go forth and eradicate the foriegn entity that must by agitating my spine so that I can reverse the adverse effects that I am feeling as a result.  Wish me luck!  I hope it happens early also so that I have time to get back in there and really get to know my other body parts as well, I have always wanted to ask my bellybutton why it insists on keeping a collection of lint.  I guess it must be our inherent nerd genes.

Tonight was another stress inducing experience to mind impairing levels at my suck ass job.  Later at around 12a I was preparing ribs for all the ravenous gluttons the next day.  (side point- Isn't eating ribs a little odd, they look more like eating the actual animal than any other food from living things, kinda sick.  But then again, I guess those people are actually "keeping it real" and not fooling themselves.)  While I was preparing them I thought of a couple things I actually enjoyed about the task, and guess what?  I'm gonna tell ya! 
     ONE: I really like knowing that every rib eaten by the aforementioned gluttons have been mang-handled by yours truly.  I never wear gloves while I rub each rib with the flat palm side of my hands vigorously up and down it's sides until it is encrusted with spices and whatever has rubbed off of my hands along with it, which brings me to
     TWO:  As I caress each rib occasionally my mind drifts and the thoughts that travel through my mind and sometimes escape my lips are roughly "You like that don't you?  Oh yeah, you are a dirty little rib huh?"  Followed by a little spank.  If the fact that eating ribs is reminiscent of cannibalism does not turn you off to eating them then that should.  If not... Call me!  I wonder if I whispered sweet nothings to the ribs as I prepared them and blew it gentle little kisses if that would be better?  No? 
     THIRDLY:  Evertime I finish preparing the ribs I end up having incredibly smooth skin on my hands, it's kickass!  I get all the perks of an exfoliant cream (i.e. smooth little girl hands)  without all the embarrasing smells of peach and flowers.  No sir, my hands smell like RIBS!  Like any true mangs hands should smell like!

I would jump to your rescue when you  go to sit on the toilet with the seat up, but failing to grasp you due to my permeable state, resulting in us both being splashed by potty water, with only you feeling the actual effects of it.

I could never vote, not that I don't care and long for change because I do.  But I feel we need a bigger change than just electing another person that is really no better than you or me to lead us.  I do not believe in our government or any for that matter and cannot give up and take part in something I know is wrong.  I'm not voting not because i'm ignorant (not that i'm not) but because I feel it really is a wasted gesture, to many people put faith that thier single vote is going to bring about such change and are happy with that but MORE action is needed to do that.  People don't like Bush, but it was our government that allowed Bush to exist and do what he did, the problem is bigger than to jusr rest on one persons shoulders but it is easy to shuffle the blame on someone else, just like it is easy to vote and feel satisfied.  I would be down for taking action in the form of rebellion, and I envy societies that were couragous enough to do that, but our media and government and forced patriotism has made people blind, which is hard to avoid because that is one thing the media and government excell at doing.  I really appreciate the freedoms that we have in this country but they have made us lazy and have forgotten to be critical, America may be "better" than other places but we are fucking far from perfect and I do not see how electing another person into our current form of government as a stride to become closer to perfect, which is what we should be doing. 

As much as I want all this I know that other people would look at what I say as ludicrous,  it is what just what I want, my opinion and everyone has their own.  If things were to change how I want them, it would not work for other people i'm sure, and forcing things is never right so rebellion is in some forms can be destructive.  I think the only person who had anything right was Ghandi, but he is just another person again, but I think he realized that.

All this is what I remember from a drunken conversation I had last night, then it seemed much more coherent and my points were much more plentiful and sharper haha. 

nah, I doubt i'll actually vote, haha.

I have never really given a fuck about our elections in the past due to me thinking that our system of government being broken and after not seeing any hope of change led to apathy.  But, after seeing what I have about Obama I am feeling invigorated, there seems to be some hope now because I feel he might actually bring about some change and I am excited about that.  Plus, his spiritual advisor saying something to the effect of God fuck America in it's current state really speaks to me! Angst-ridden leading FTW. That's great, he hates America as it currently is just as much as I do.  So I am going to go register and vote for the first time, something which I always thought was an act of futility and pacification, hoorah!

Drinking.  I quit.  Done.  8/6/2008  8/10/08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Impressionable (adj.)- I am starting school tomorrow at ACC and at no cost to me because of the grant I received. After talking to a few people and them questioning my reasoning behind going there the only thing I could think of is because of the people I hang out with go there and they led me to believe it was a good idea. Through the course of the conversation with some other friends I realized I could be going to a university now such as UNCG, like where they were going, especially since I am not even paying for anything, so why not? I could not think of any reason for or against going to either one really, since I plan on transferring to a film school in two years. I have come to the conclusion that I do whatever the person talking to me at the moment tells me to, they are just so convincing.

Impressed (v.)- The other night thought it to be a good idea to lift a girl into my arms only to have it end in tears, literally. After chasing Jennifer around I grabbed her and lifted ( with my legs, of course) only to have my leg fail and slip from underneath me ( I was running) causing her to come crashing down headfirst, back second. There is now a bruise on her back and most likely a dent impressed on the back of her head.

Impress (v.)- After the incredible display of my manly fortitude by dropping Jennifer on her head I was sure to duely impress her!

 

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This is a movie I made for my physical science class when I was 16. It's long and dry at the begining but halfway through it it is kind of funny at how bad it is.>.>

Somewhere in the city of...