I try to change
but you won't let me
with your attitudes
that i won't change
that i can't

I try to change
i want to
i need you to respect me
to love me
to need me


I try to change
for myself
so i feel self worth
but you try to bring my self worth down

i try to change
i should be done with you
you make me feel
like i can't change
that i won't change
that i am worth nothing
to you

why do i care
when i should be treated better
but i do

i fall into the pit
that most women do
when their self esteem is down

i am drowning again

I try to change
I will change
but do I have to change without you?

Soft Looking
Brown Eyes
Searching my soul
Comforting
Enclosing me
Soft hands
Shivers going down my spine
Mind feels
Like a tornado is whirling through
Spining out of control
Feeling content
Those eyes
Depth of them
kindness
caring
intense
caressing me
without a single word
soft lips
enclose mine
never thought
this feeling
would come again
Feeling content.

I wonder
why i always think
of things i don't want to
I wonder
If I am going crazy
or if I am sane
I wonder
If everyone is telling the truth
about certain situations
and if that is my destiny
or I am in for another outcome
I wonder
If my dreams will come true
or just die with everything else
I wonder
If I am worth being here
If I am worthy of certain people being
In my life
or maybe thats why
they don't want to be sometimes
I wonder
If I should be missing things
Or if something is more to come
I wonder
Why I can't stop my heart from breaking
Each day
Because I never told him
The truth

Lost myself

I lost myself in you
I lost all my self control
You were a bright star
In my dark misery
Until we both fell in love
and pushed each other apart
Our escence intwined
we put to much of ourselves in the other
doing neither of us any good
I am searching now to find what I lost
what I set over the edge when I lost you
I hope eventually I will find me
and you find you
so we can both find our way back
to where we belong
There is something with us
and I guess destiny will find its way
I just hope I didn't sacrafice
what meant so much to me.

I updated my profile.  I am now working at Meijers and Big Boy's.  I actually kinda of like waitressing.  Its kind of fun.  We will see how long that lasts!  Anyhow thats pretty much all the news right now.

Breathing
By: Lifehouse


What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

I am single now!  Me and anthony broke up but it was mutal, and there is a guy I met that I am intersted in so we will see.  I plan on taking it slowly and get to know him first but you know how that always works!  Lol.  anyhow thats pretty much the news here.  other then me working 60 hours a week and barely being able to think!


:)

So sombody told me to update this thing . . .Not sure what to say.  I got a job at a vet office and that is going ok.   i have been doing nothing almost but working and hanging out with anthony.

anyhow thats whats up.