here are some of this last week's fun headlines, and some comments on them .... by the way, this column was originally entitled "fuck harry reid;" now that i read the column i'm not sure why seeing as there's no mention of him but .... at least i'm thinkin' about him, and with all the respect he so richly deserves .... anyway:

Obama Moves to Bar Release of Detainee Abuse Photos: Saying the release of photos of soldiers abusing captives in Iraq and Afghanistan would endanger U.S. troops, the president reversed a decision made last month.

Senate Rejects Limit on Credit-Card Interest Rates .... gee .... there's a surprise ..... the same shameless group of ass-garglers that turned the credit card companies loose on the consumer in the first place; that legalized usury and made bankruptcy incredibly difficult--unless, of course, you're a car company sucking up taxpayer dollars; .... where's that much-vaunted "populist rage" now that we could use some?

Social Security Set To Run Out of Money .....

they're at it again, not that they every stop ..... fear, lies, deception; manipulation, betrayal, these cocksuckers won't take their eyes off of your social security funds until they can put it away in their pockets ......

Obama Planning to Keep Tribunals for Detainees .... what do we have here? bush lite?

Health Insurers To Kick Back 2 Trillion Dollars Over A Ten-Year Period .... mmmmm .... if they're leaving two trill on the table, makes you kind of think that they've been gouging the living shit out of us, doesn't it .....

i can't believe that we're still having a discussion about "torture ....." i mean, "harsh techniques ...." i mean "enhanced techniques ....." i mean " what republicans and christians are all in favor of and democrats'll go along with if they think no one's looking" why am i not surprised that "christians" are in favor of beating the shit out of people and nearly killing them time and time again, over and over and over again because they don't say what you'd like them to say because "AUUGHGHGHGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB" isn't the same as "saddam hussein personally flew one of the planes into the twin towers just remember infidel dog while bush and cheney've been keeping you safe from terror attacks about 5,000 troops have been killed compared to the 3,000 who died in the towers not a bad exchange for safety GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB" christians are conditioned to hurting the fuck out of people because they worship a loving god who will burn you in agony forever and ever if you don't accept his peaceful love and .....

GLUGLUGLUGLUGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBBLEAUGHGHGHGHGHGHG .......

you just have to learn how to live with inconsistencies, with dissonance, and with stupid fucking people who by and large wouldn't even qualify as landfill; can we just pave 'em over?

this whole "what did nancy pelosi know and when did she know it oh my GOD! she knew all the time and never said anything and OOOOOO she's a hypocrite and that makes torturing the shit out of people okay because we're republicans and we get to do that kind of shit" is a straw man, but the media's complicit in this ghost chase .... you know, i'm still waiting to hear what diane feinstein was referring to when she said, just before the IIUIOASNTPUNTW, "if i were to vote the way my constituency wanted i would vote against authorizing IIUIOASNTPUNTW, but because nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah i know things that you don't i know things that you don't, i'm going to vote to authorize IIUIOASNTPUNTW and then i can join the ranks of war profiteers like any good american would .....

jeez, i don't know ..... does anyone in this country think about what they're being fed? dog food? sheep food? we can't show us pictures of us torturing people even though they were leaked to an australian newspaper three years ago (i'm citing hearsay here; does anyone know anything about this? the unifying theme of the pictures is said to be "blood .... there's lots of blood ..everywhere" ...) because it'd put our troops in harm's way and antagonize our horrid adversaries who want to hurt our troops ..... i figure if you want to get troops out of harm's way, bring 'em back alive ..... plus, isn't the point of being a troop hurting people? and if you hurt people don't you just think you might run the risk of getting hurt right back? and i don't really think that showing the world more photos'll antagonize those detergents ... i mean, insurgents .... so they think "let's go kill some americans" .... isn't that what they're thinking already? they hate us because they hate our freedoms, which obviously includes the freedom to torture people whenever we want to and the freedom to be psychotic lying assholes and dervish dancers in the mad spin to justify what complete shits we are and the contempt and disdain with which we're held as lying fucks .....

besides, didn't "the surge" take care of all that shit?

ha ha .... just kidding of course ... ha ha ....

can we get over our obama love fest, please? let's see: we're keeping up the bush tribunals, we're falling over our tiny little dicks to pony up another 97 billion dollars to bomb wedding parties in afghanistan, we're not prosecuting lawbreakers .... well, let me back up a minute here .... we're not politician lawbreakers and we're not prosecuting corporate lawbreakers because corporations contribute huge sums to politicians whose primary function is to stay in positions of power so they can get more money and more power so they can stay in positions of power so they can make more money and get more power but we will prosecute the shit out of you if you're a n*gg*r and you have some c*caine then it's nellie bar the door and don't you think if insurers are going to kick back two trillion dollars they've been gouging us for years if they can afford to kick back that kind of money and still make the profits they like to make to feed their shareholders and give their ceo's the kind of golf vacations, hair treatments, and golden parachutes they so richly deserve because after all they're the best and the brightest it's a good thing we still have grade schools that we can cut funding to and thank god for health care programs for children we don't need them when we're in a fiscal crisis so we can always take their pennies away to give to big banks fuck the kids and the poor why don't they get a fucking job and pull themselves up by their bootstraps don't tell me they can't afford fucking shoes ..... anybody that can afford two hundred and forty bucks for basketball shoes with a logo can ante up the bucks for shoes with bootstraps .... doesn't nike make 'em?

i don't know .... my crystal balls are cloudy these days and i can't tell what the future holds, although i tend towards darkness and disillusionment, so i'm reluctant to think that the amount of press given to the torturers might actually breach the indifference of the american sheeple, who seem to be far more concerned with jen and angie and .... gasp! .... abortions ..... well, you know what they say: don't want an abortion?

don't fucking get one .....

what do you think? think we'll see some of the boosh biggies hauled up on war crimes trials? set up in the hague, charged with crimes against humanity?

the only thing i can add is, i'm temporarily out from underneath the bed but .....

my dust bunnies are lonely .... and i think i had a better view down there .....

next: dr. pete sneezes .....

yeah ... i know .... i've been .... absent ......

there's not much that makes me want to leave the security of my dark padded room; if i didn't have to take the boys to school i'd never crawl out from underneath my bed, where i cuddle up to the dust bunnies, and as for writing? it's not been for lack of trying, but what can i do? rather than write a daily journal whose content could be summarized as "fuck this shit," i thought it might be better to judiciously observe, to not be hasty in making judgements--value and otherwise; to watch trends develop, to see which way the winds blow, to see if there'd be any lubricant used before the american sheeple were bent over, once again, and penetrated vigorously with large, angular objects, before being shorn totally and left, shivering, out in the cold .....

i hate to say this but .... i miss bush ..... honest to god, i miss that slobbering tremulous dimwit bush ..... do i need to explain? i miss bush because he was an easy shot; there wasn't anything subtle about him; it didn't matter what he did or said or said he was going to do, or tried to say what he might have thought about thinking of doing: it was perennially and patently obvious that he was a spoiled, petulant, entitled, whining, overwhelmed-by-circumstance dickwit idiot ..... it didn't matter what he did, or pretended to be doing, or set his minions to doing, nor--for that matter--did it matter what his lords and masters told him to do: it was always going to be malignant, ill-intentioned, it would always be detrimental to life as we know it and--when all else failed--i could fall back on the gut laugh that this slobbering cretinous retard was president of the united states .....

now clearly observable events, trends, and patterns are confounded with this overlay of "hope;" oooooo ..... we've got a democrat in the whitehouse now ..... eeeee, we've got a pigmented president in the white house ...... ngngngngnggn ..... thngs are going to be different, there's an upsurge of resentment against the republican depredations and .....

i swear to god, i can't tell the difference .....

sure, there are these little dollops of enlightenment, these titbits thrown out to palliate a public that's eating the big, hairy economic wazoo: stem cell research? hey, that's great, and i know that michael j. fox'll be glad to hear that but ..... i'd rather see war crimes trials ...... there are lots of trials that i'd like to see to .... ha ha .... reinvigorate my belief in the "rule of law," but .... ha ha ..... i doubt very much that we'll be seeing the telecom companies prosecuted for their complicity in .... ahem .... eavesdropping on americans; i doubt that we'll see any charges brought against republican whore .... i mean "war" .... mongers like feith, perle, wolfowitz--along with the "mainstream media," for their part in promoting falsehoods and disseminating mis- and dis-information that led to the IIUIOSNTNPUATW (i believe that stands for "the illegal immoral unilateral invasion of a sovereign nation that never posed us any threat whatsoever" but i didn't bother counting out the letters); do you really think there are going to be any significant consequences for the wall street sociopaths that threw aside the surly bonds of government regulation--aided and abetted by willing democrats and republicans--and wreaked havoc on the global economy? do you really think there'll be any significant reform of an economic system that's served a select few very well while slamming the ham to the ever more strictured middle class? and the rest of the world?

i really can't summon the remotest bit of what in the past might have passed as humor as i contemplate america and american values today .... hmmm ..... let's see .... i've just read that FEMA is now going to repossess the trailers (the ones with the formaldehyde filled walls) that new orleans residents, displaced by katrina, have been living in while trying to rebuild their homes and now .... ha ha .... there'll be no place for them to go--even though the trailers are just going to be junked: "they've served their purpose"--while y/our money continues to flow into the gaping pockets of investment bankers and banks and insurance companies and hedge funds and oh, isn't this an eloquent manifestation of american values and i can't find anything funny to say about this .....

maybe it's just that i'm tired, or need to up my meds .....

if i do up my meds, i'd better not be counting on single payer healthcare to help pay for them, not in this fucking country .... doesn't it strike you as .... mmmmm ..... somehow indicative of our values that there is no provision for single payer health care in the current "discussions" of "healthcare reform" on capitol hill? that people who questioned the wisdom of that at the hearings were jailed? eight years ago cheney's "energy task force" consisted of oil executives and lobbyists, and it's still the same old, same old: the foxes guarding the henhouse .....

and now i'm sitting here thinking, "do i have to write about torture again?" jesus, are we still seriously debating whether or not pouring a couple of gallons of water up somebody's nose is "torture" or just a "harsh technique?" are we really going to let all the sleazebags and psychopaths who perpetrated this shit go scot free? ha ha ..... yes, we are; you can count on it ..... isn't it funny how, after eight years of listening to bush try to speak, sounding like he was choking on a perpetual pretzel and making no sense whatsoever, we're no longer anti-semantic--we're now very precise with our use of language: it isn't torture if it doesn't cause major organ damage or death .... gee, i don't know; i keep thinking about the chinese water torture--it doesn't cause major organ damage or death but .... it's still torture ....

what do the chinese know that we don't?

then there was the big flap about arlen spector leaving the republican party ..... oooooooo ...... this'll give the democrats a huge advantage ....... eeeeeeeeee ....... they democrats'll have a fillibuster proof majority! yawn ..... if the democrats gave a shit about having a majority, if they had the eeentsiest teensiest bit of interest in having a majority so they could promote the democrat agenda--and does anyone have any idea what this might be? other than .... ha ha .... raising taxes?--might not they have expended some energy on the outcome of the norm coleman/al franken election?

i'm sorry but i'm not feeling super hopeful .... it feels to me like the democrat agenda is to embed themselves in power so obama can get another term so the democrats can stay in power; isn't that what the republicans were doing? and now i'm sitting here, looking at this fucking computer screen, with the only thing going through my head a litany of "f-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ck ........ ooooooooooo f-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ck ...... we-e-e-e-e-e-e-e're f-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-uck'd> ......."

sorry: that's not substantive writing, not coherent reasoning, and not cogent thought, not by a long shot ......

it's not funny, either ......

as far as values go--and that's not very far, not in this country-- and as far as media integrity goes--and that's not very far in this country--let's talk about priorities, the biggest one being peddling fear for top dollar, a time honored tradition in america, and always about the biggest business there is ..... H1N1; swine flu, and we're not talking about pigs flying by my window, or greedy pig cocksuckers in congress who suck it up for greedy corporations .... you scared about swine flu? you ready to go buy some tamaflu? hey, think we should lock the borders and keep out our gardeners and nannies because, well .... because they're dark-complected and we're a racist bunch of fuckers but .... we can justify it because some poor kid got sick and died and maybe the disease started at a pork factory run by smithfield because bill clinton rammed NAFTA through and our corporations can run 'cross the border (see, it's okay because it's going south rather than coming north) and fuck things up down there and .....

how about this for an epidemiological perspective: every day out of every week out of every month in every year the united states of america has 81 gun fatalities ..... yes, that's every day .... every year the united states sees 144,000 tobacco related deaths ..... now: which do you really think needs more attention ..... something that kills 144,00 people and is preventable? at the risk of pissing of the tobacco companies? how about preventing close to 30,000 deaths per year? ooooops .... don't want to piss off the NRA, do we?

i've often wondered--and i'm sure you have, too--why the democrats have been so, well ..... ineffective in consolidating their power, presumably to further a progressive agenda .... i think it's because there is no progressive agenda; i think we're going to be served up the same old turd cake with a slightly different shit frosting on it .....

tell me i'm wrong ..... go ahead; tell me i'm wrong ......

i'll be under the bed .... with the dust bunnies .....

next: dr. pete bakes a cake

so me 'n' pooty the magic pony was out in the pasture, just cropping the clover, when he suddenly started puking blood and i thought, ground glass in the sugar cubes? but pooty set me clear rilly fast; spain, said pooty, is investigating whether alberto gonzales, that cretinous toadfucking tool of george bush as .... ha ha .... attorney general ..... is liable for prosecution under international law for his part in aiding and abetting the "legalities" by which the united states kidnapped people in countries around the world, carried them to different parts of the world where they were tortured because, well, if we weren't going to do it ourselves, well then .... we'd outsource it ..... the spanish are also looking to issue warrants for the prosecution of john yoo and douglas feith; i didn't see jay bybee's name, but i hope they'll get around to him ....

jesus; we can't even do all our dirty work ourself; when we want to torture people we have to outsource it .....

but pooty said, you know what makes me sick? what makes me chorf esophageal blood is not that the spanish are doing this; shit, after all, they went after and got pinochet, america's great friend and ally, the great friend of democracy who disappeared 3,000 people; incarcerated 80,000 without charges, and tortured 30,000 people; what makes me whorble and spew is that we haven't done anything that'd affirm anything more than mere lip service to "the rule of law;" there are no charges brought against george bush; no charges brought against donny rumsfeld; no one in the united states has charged paul wolfotitz or paul bremer; dick cheney is still slobbering all over his shirtfront, blithe and carefree, and not even from a secret secure location; three enlisted soldiers got prison time for the abu ghraib debacle; it went no higher, but don't give me that "a few bad apples in the bunch" bullshit; we all know goddamn well that torturing "prisoners" started at the very top and no one gives a shit, even though it's poisoned the world against the united states--a democratic president gets his willie wet and that's grounds for impeachment, but mass murder and torture, that's a ho-hum yawn-off; that's what makes me sick, said pooty, as his gloss flanks shivered yet again under another paroxysm of gagging and retching ....

and i thought, as i danced between the droplets of barely digested clover, gosh, pooty--being a magic pony and all--has got a point here, you know? i mean, you don't have to be a magic pony to see the fundamental disconnect between rhetoric and reality, the dissonance between "we're a nation of the rule of law" and "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" and whoever would have thought that the united states of america'd become an acolyte of aleistair crowley? who also said "if one were to take the bible seriously one would go mad .... but to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad" which is a pretty telling commentary on a nation where 68% of the people believe the bible to be the literal word of god but then they also believe what they read or hear in the "media" especially when it's about "celebs" and who's got a tummy tuck and who flashed their beaver and who's getting a divorce and who's heartbroken like these shitheads were real people that gave a fuck about anyone else and .....

don't get me started on media betrayals, pooty said; i'm tottering on the brink of needing a transfusion, right now ..... and i may not need more blood right now, pooty said, but we sure have the need for liability and responsibility: in the media; the citizenry; in our bleak political landscape; the lack of responsibility extends from the debacle in iraq to the fiasco in afghanistan to the "economic meltdown," but .... ha ha ...... but it's not like this pillaging and plundering and looting and hooting were systemic and systematic, for goodness sake .... it's not anybody's fault, other than maybe just a few bad apples .....

george tenet, tommy franks, and l. paul bremer, parties responsible for our illegal immoral unilateral invasion of a sovereign nation that posed us no threat whatsoever (in the future i'll just abbreviate this as "IIUIOASNTPUNTW") got their contributions to chaos, murder, and idiocy recognized when bush awarded them the presidential medal of freedom .... AIG recognized the contribution of its employees who totalled the world economy by giving them "retention bonuses ....." there seems to be a pattern here, and i don't think it's one that any self-respecting parent would approve of: "honey? junior just set fire to the cat and cornholed the dog .... what say we take him out to mcdonald's and get him a feedbag fulla bacon grease and chocolate?"

i keep hearing n[utless] p[ickled] r[utabagas] doing show after show about "how shall republicans get it back together?' or something like that .... that's kind of like running shows on "how can germany's national socialist party regain respect" ..... how about doing a show on "how republicans should commit hara-kiri with a dull fucking butter knife as partial atonement for their multitudinous sins;" who gives a fuck? WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO THESE DICKWITS? they fucked the country for thirty fucking years; caused endless fucking scandals: iran/contra; savings and loan; yada yada yada yada; bankupt the country; lie us into war, culminating in the nomination of john mccain and sarah palin while "permanent tax cuts" is the best they can come up with?

i'm sorry, but fuck you all incredibly much, and right in your fucking mouth, and that goes for the media for promulgating this offensive fucking nonsense; no, i don't give a fuck what sarah palin's wearing or what that moron has to say or who does her hair, no, people who have been proven wrong time and time again do not deserve to be heard from, and no, i DON'T KNOW WHO JEN IS AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! one thing you can say for the republicans--other than they're being shit-eating fear-mongering cretinous bags of fartwind--is that they hang together; okay, maybe it's because no one else can tolerate them, but they presented a united front as they pushed their agendas ... okay; maybe there's something to be said for being cloned from snakeshit, but you can't say that for democrats: the most you can say about democrats is that they're hatched from rotten eggs and cloned from chickenshit .....

gee, dr. pete, pooty said; why would you say that?

well, pooty, i said; i'm glad you asked ..... democrats don't vote together; some say that it's because they're "voting their conscience;" some say it's because they're the "party of individuality;" some say that trying to get democrats to work together is like "trying to herd cats ....." here's what i say: they don't vote their conscience because they have none; it's not the party of individuals--it's the party of back-stabbing self-serving posturing self-righteous shitheads and, as for the cat metaphor, fuck them; they're just pussies .... listen up, you scabby, clapped-out, mange-ridden fucking donkeys that need a botticide douche: don't give me this bullshit about how you won't vote the obama budget because you can't condone creating a deficit: you didn't give fuck one about deficit spending when you were tripping over your flaccid little dicks, lining up to be reamed by dick cheney while shoving blank checks into george bush's hands; you didn't give fuck one about fiscal responsibility when you condoned back-channel budgeting for the pentagon, billions of dollars that'll never appear on the books; you didn't give fuck one about tax payer's money when eight billion in cash evaporated in iraq ......

here's the deal: barack obama, a democrat, is the president of the united states; he won the presidential election because people were fed out the ass with george bush and his bullshit; he was elected because he "offered people 'change,'" and i'm not going to start equivocating on that right now; you're democrats, how about this for a change: how about you back your president .... you're democrats; you're the party that swept the polls; you're democrats; do what americans want you to do--back your fucking president .... don't give me this bullshit about how you've got to "safeguard your interests in the upcoming elections;" you're elected, you're in office right now, you're there to do a fucking job, not to win popularity contests, not to be miss congeniality, not to prance around like a dithering shit wearing a skimpy swimsuit; winning an election in the future, that's NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB! your job is to BE A DEMOCRAT! do your job and DO IT NOW!

the fact that there's no payback for these craven eaters of liquid fuck is part and parcel of the whole "there is no responsibility" routine .... like that wrinkled old wombat scrotum, joe liebermann; did he get thrown out of the democratic party for endorsing wattle-faced mccain? fuck, no; did we see him hanging upside down in a gas station, like mussolini? no, we didn't ..... see anyone from halliburton getting indicted? anyone from morgan stanley chase manhattan citigroup bank of america getting anything other than more money from you and me? i read a lot of shit in the "media;" this week's hot phrase is "populist anger:" ooooooo ..... the people are so angry ..... eeeeeee .... the president is so angry ...... nrghghghghghghgh ...... angry! angry! angry!" what a load of codswallop: people aren't fucking angry--they're worried about jen or about the latest teen that's disappeared or where they can get more coupons for shopping ..... if they were angry they'd be in the fucking streets, manning the barricades, shrieking LET THEM EAT CAKE! LET THEM EAT KAKA! KAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!

pooty used one fetlock to wipe my fevered brow and, with a dainty trotter, took my pulse; a magic pony can do that, you know ..... dr. pete, pooty said; you're overwrought; perhaps you ought to have a sugar cube? chill out a little?


next: one mint julep was the cause of it all

pooty the wonder pony and i were hanging out the other day; we'd eaten some sugar cubes and pooty, being a magic pony and all, was getting ready to braid my mane, but we started talking about the thing that's on everybody's mind and .... no, not that thing, silly--you're being perseverative and obsessive; we started talking about the economic meltdown and why we just couldn't bring ourselves to use the "N" word--you know .... n*t*on*liz*ation and pooty said something to the effect that *meric*ans were really d*mb because not only couldn't they bring themselves to call a sp*de a sp*de, there was all this rhetoric from apparatchiks and functionaries about how we needed to enact legislation that'd prevent stuff like this happening again and pooty said, you had that legislation it was the glass-steagall act until it was meticulously dismantled by republicans headed by the Great Whore phil gramm but ha ha it was buy-partisanship at its finest because clinton signed it into law and then it was nellie bar the door and all the horsies got out of the barn and now you want to close it? and then pooty went on to say isn't it odd that the wall street guys who busted everybody's balls so they could get stinky rich are entrepreneurs that drive our system but wistful wishful wannabes who bought a house on questionable credit because they thought they could roll it over and put some money in the bank are irresponsible scumbags who deserve no help or sympathy whatsoever and the wall street guys are protected by contracts guaranteeing their bone-asses which means they're not union members because union contracts with for example auto makers don't mean shit and .....

pooty's a magic pony and all, but sometimes even a magic pony can't fathom the depths of perfidy, grok the venality, encompass the impetus republicans have to sell themselves, the citizenry, and everything else that isn't nailed down with railroad spikes to those big corporations ...... but pooty reminded me of my own prescience, referring to my mid-2004 musical opus "beyond help!" which featured such predictors as "george bush suggests social security invest in stock market .... market crashes .... country bankrupt .... tom cruise has good looking wife ......" at the time people upbraided me: tom cruise isn't married, they said .... stick around, i replied; just stick around .... you'll see ......

anyway, pooty reminded me that there's a lot of confusion about the "cash for trash" initiatives the fed is suggesting, that people really don't understand what purchasing "toxic derivatives" is all about, and how badly they're being screwed--again--by the upper one percent; "dr. pete," pooty said, using one dainty hoof to pop another sugar cube; "you being a doctor and all, and having worked with seriously compromised individuals like hot tuna and all, perhaps you could help people understand what otherwise might seem to be impenetrable?"

well, it's hard to refuse a request from a wonder pony, so here goes .....

now, boys and girls, let's pay a visit to those long lost days of yore, the golden carefree days of the late 70s and early 80s when .... oh, you thought i was going to go off on john mccain and neil bush and the savings and loan debacle? but ... ha ha .... that was just pennies in a peasant's pisspot, a paltry 350 billion drilled out of the u.s. taxpayer compared to close to a trillion and counting on the current meltdown and that doesn't even wink a sphincter at the cost of the eye-rak war and there's your republican fiscal responsibility i guess we'll have to shut down some more schools and hospitals and clinics to save money and where i was really going was to the Coke Years, before cocaine ever became a problem for anybody and before the war on drugs made it so difficult to get cocaine unless you were in a prison or in a grade school and of course the war on drugs's made cocaine rilly rilly expensive so no one can afford it now i mean who afford twenty bucks a gram but back then there was lots of it and lots of people dabbled at dealing it so they'd get some and generally it'd be pretty good and then they'd dip into it a little ha ha plus they figured they could stretch it out a little ha ha so they'd have more to sell and even though it wouldn't be as good they'd make more money god they were all little fucking republicans weren't they so they got extenders things like mannitol the notorious baby laxative and everyone'd say that's why you want to poop when you take that first snort no that's not why it's because cocaine is a central nervous system stimulant and one of the first results is that the autonomic nervous system goes zero to sixty in 1.2 seconds and that includes peristalsis which jams your poops into overdrive and then outsources them and we're not even counting the reuptake cycle of serotonin and then there was inositol the corn starch derivative those shiny little spicules you'd have to grind 'em up because they'd lacerate the shit out of your nasal mucosa and before you knew it you'd have a kilo of talcum powder and ground glass and poodle dandruff without an atom of columbian instant breakfast or peruvian marching powder no nose nike anywhere but you'd still have to sell it because when it got into kilos it got serious and it wasn't funny any more and suddenly people had guns if only we'd had our good friend uncle sam he'd've said, why .... give me your tired your hungry your poor; let me take that kilo of crap'n'duff off your hands and i'll find a buyer for it somewhere out there there's some visionary that wants this stuff here that's what's being proposed now we're going to buy all the paper that no self respecting canary'd crap on and our kindly government'll see to its toxic disposal like maybe they can take it out to nevada and bury it all under harry reid maybe then he'd be good for something that toothless nattering old fuck and i guess what i'm saying is i don't do coke but if i did i sure wouldn't want to buy a kilo of inositol why would anyone buy devalued paper as an investment so it seems to me that we're being set up for another fucking, plucking, sucking and fleecing, and it's so blatant i think i'm going to poop now pooty can you clear me a space on the straw right here and ......

wouldn't it be nice if we could stimulate the economy as quickly and easily as hoovering up a huge rail?

jeez, i don't know ... it's not like i want to toot my own horn or anything beep beep honk honk but somehow i managed to figure out that there weren't any wmd's in iraq; somehow i could tell that we shouldn'ta oughtta embark on a unilateral illegal immoral invasion of a sovereign nation that'd never posed us any harm; somehow i knew that everything bush stood for or did was malignant and i'm thinking that america's been living in fear for over sixty years; are we ever going to get tired of it? if the goal of terrorists is to create terror, then the lords of wall street are right up there with osama: "if you don't give me lots and lots of money then your whole house of cards is going to come crashing down and your big screen hdtv is going to be reposessed," and the sad and sorry truth is there's no shortage of cause for anxiety, alarm and concern, what with businesses going out of business and people losing their jobs and our politicians are still not missing an opportunity to fuck with unions that might help a working stiff just a little .... focusing on "bonuses" makes for good press; politicians and the public can thrash around in a twelve-step meeting feeling-share-fest: "oooooo i'm so angry ..... eeeeee ..... do you see how angry i am? now .... watch me get really angry" but focusing on the bonuses misses the point completely, and that is these gents own our government, our government was and is complicit in promoting a culture of avarice, an ethos of greed, and a system that rewards sociopathy ..... i'm not saying that my propensity for absolutist self-righteous thinking always stands me in good stead, as evidenced by the absolute lack of current sales of "going home;" my degrees aren't in economics, but i don't need a ph.d. in economics to know that we need to nationalize the banks, clean house of all the folks involved in creating this shitpile--don't tell me there aren't any other people around smart enough to do the job; maybe we should outsource it to india ho ho ho--and .....


your call is very important to us; please stay on the line while we drink caffeine rich beverages and toss a frisbee around the office while we listen to and laugh at your shrieking in an impotent frenzy and infantile rage ....

next: dr. pooty goes to india

anniversaries are important and today's an anniverary that is really important although it seems to be slipping away unnoticed, what with all the enthusiasm americans are now showing for high finance, the level playing field of the free market, and the invisible hand of the free market, which is jammed so far up the american collective anus that two of its fingers are coming out america's collective noseholes .... six years since the united states undertook its illegal, immoral, unilateral invasion of a sovereign nation that posed no threat whatsoever that, furthermore, used to be a favored nation, one to whom we sold jet fighters; tanks; cluster bombs, and the wherewithal for making .... weapons of mass destruction .... yes, iraq was part of america's grand tradition of supporting autocratic repressive psycopathic dictators around the world in protection of our "national interest"--which generally seemed to be connected to corporate profits and "regional stability," which generally seemed to be connected to corporate profits--which might also have meant preventing someone else from accessing somebody else's natural resources ....

six years later, it hardly matters; iraq isn't an issue, afghanistan is peripheral although i doubt that it will be for long; pakistan? well, who cares what the taliban is doing, or where osama bin laden is, when we've got terrorists of our own to deal with, and i'm talking about the folks at AIG ..... dick cheney is harrooomphing and phumphing and going on quail hunts saying that we're less safe from terrorists now than we were under his reign, and this time he's right: we've got corporate bankers threatening to destroy the system if we don't give them more money .....

rust never sleeps and extortion never stops .....

so why all of a sudden is their this .... mmmmm ..... "populist" turmoil? what's happened to us? are the sheep looking up? losing their sense of humor? along with their jobs and their houses? did their tv's get disconnected? seriously, now; i haven't been writing because, well .... i'd like to write something different each time but i'm overwhelmed by the sameness of our bleak lunar political landscape, which goes something like this:

monday .... hey! did you notice that we're being fucked?
tuesday .... wow! we're being fucked ....
wednesday .... boy, are we being fucked and gosh, how fucked we are ....
thursday ... have they finished fucking us yet?
friday ... nope; still bangin' away .... have a GREAT weekend!
saturday .... no rest for the wicked ....
sunday .... hemorrhoids are no deterrent for our political process ...
monday .... etc. etc. etc. etc. ......

i guess i don't really understand the outrage that AIG's "retention packages" are causing; 170 million is a penny on the dollar when factored against the .... mmmmm ..... how many billions have we given them? somewhere last week--and i can't remember which fearless purveyor of "news" it was that brought it to our attention--i read that americans are no longer perceiving corporations as having their best interests at heart ..... did you hear me shrieking? i'm not surprised that you didn't; i hardly have the energy to shatter glass and etch crystal these days ..... oooooo ..... americans are a quick study, all right; let's see .... they've tolerated over three decades of rectal plunder by the oil companies; they stood by, grazing and bleating placidly, while the very banks they're now shovelling more money to rewrote the bankruptcy rules so that americans couldn't get out from underneath the burden of the credit cards they were bombarded with; they slept through the no-bid contracts in iraq torture kidnapping eight billion dollars cash on pallets somehow misplaced ha ha we're at what fourthousandtwohundredtwentyfive troops dead over one million iraqis yawn i can't even go off on the vapidity with which they've contemplated how the pharmaceutical industry's fobbed toxins off on them while sidestepping any liability, aided and abetted by the FDA; as for the food we eat, or the water we drink, it's all poisoned by the corporate feces of greed, and don't tell me that monsanto, archer daniels midland, or conagra are going to go sustainable and "organic" and what was that "splash" was that the last polar bear dropping into the boiling seas?

i like my polar bear rare; pull him out quick, please .....

and now joe america is pissed off because wall street's best and brightest are getting a bonus and joe's getting a bone-ass .....

i guess another reason i find it so difficult to write is that it feels like i'd be filling out a report card for barack obama: afghanistan--F+; stem cell research--A-; iraq--D+; torture--C .... it feels like i get a snippet that perks me up and i go "gosh that's really great fuck you bush eat your heart out you republican fucks" and then the bottom drops out of my world and my heart sinks and i think fuck barack, i don't think your afghanistan planistan's going to work out and it just feels gamey and sniffy and it feels like i'm writing for the new york times and i'd rather eat my flesh than become a corporate journalist even though their numbers are dwindling dwindling dwindling why there's no money to be made in reporting the news except about jen she's always worth writing about and bristol palin's break-up boy there's a surprise i never saw that coming down the pike did you i'm just sitting here shaking my head thinking over six years ago we were marching in the streets ha ha like we thought it'd do any good but we did it anyway and "the media" 'misunderestimated' the number of people in san francisco new york chicago los angeles paris london rome madrid and "the media" got all excited about "shock and awe" and got stiffies about how spiffy a unilateral illegal immoral invasion'd look on television and they could sell lots of air time they sold lots and lots of hummers with little "support our troops" decals and then they started to go "oooooo ...... where are the weapons of ass distruction they're not under george booshie's desk ha ha isn't that funny?" and i could've told 'em that and so could you but they never asked me did they did they ask you and now they're going "oooooooooo ...... do you think that there's a lot of greedy little fuckers runnin' around and don't you think it'd have been just a skosh better if all the regulations and oversights hadn't been so assiduously dismantled by all the eager little termites and fuckelves in congress and the senate who had their lips firmly affixed to the fetid crank of corporate america" and i could've told them that and i don't even have a degree in economics how about you but they didn't ask you either did they and don't even get me started on the coleman/franken debacle in minnesota we still don't do elections in the land of the free and .....

i don't know what it's like where you are but it felt like spring today, the air feeling soft and velvety and i wanted to rip off my clothes and roll on my back juggling stars with my paws but it's not safe to do that in my yard i haven't even pruned out my roses yet and they're long overdue .... tulips are up, the orange tree i planted five years ago is finally bearing fruit; i see one or two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice on it ..... mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmm; organic free range oranges; think i'll have monsanto genetically modify it so that the oranges come mixed with ethanol ...... then i can put a tiger in my tank ......


next: dr. pete braids pootie's mane

oh, dear diary: what a week we've had! we have word of the destruction of 92 [more] cia tapes documenting cia torture ..... ooooo .... the cia dog ate the cia homework! bad doggie! bad doggie!

we have cheney admitting to having knowledge of and advocating "techniques" the civilized world has acknowledged to be torture for centuries, "techniques" that led to the prosecution and execution of japanese combatants, by the united states, for war crimes after world war II ....

not surprising that there's "debate" over whether there should be criminal prosecution for such blatant violations of international laws: republicans would like to torture and kill whoever they want with no blowback whatsoever but ..... this isn't simply a question of hunting down and killing the scum that subverted the ideals of the united states, although that's not a bad idea, neither can we dismiss the movement towards investigation and prosecution as a "partisan witch hunt," one that should not be considered because "we need to move forward, not look back ...." republicans continue to perseverate over semen soaked satin from the clinton era which, by my rudimentary math, was over ten years ago--while cheney's appearance on ABC's World News was broadcast Dec. 15, 2008 ......


jesus ... i don't know ..... i mean, i know how completely superficial our "media" is; if seeing headlines like "octuplets mom! no sex for eight years!" "her problems with men!" at the supermarket checkout aisle doesn't give you a clue, i don't know what does ... but the new york times? the new york times? i never realized what an impact michelle obama was having on the republican psyche: oooooooo, an intelligent woman ..... eeeeeeee ..... a dark-complected woman ...... aaaaaaaaa ..... a physically fit woman ...... maureen dowd's (MoDo the DoDo) got a whole front page column dedicated to michelle obama's bare arms, and david brooks, another highly paid new york times front page "columnist" says he's tired of "thunder and lightning" by which i guess means her arms and he's probably thinking to himself oooooo she's got a dark p*ssy a m*sky m*ffin nnnnnnnnn i'll bet he want some strong woman to tie him up whip him because he's been so naughty and ..... and ...... and fucking god did you hear me shrieking before i threw my fucking computer out the window what the fuck is wrong with us what's it like to be such a fucking asshole i wish i knew i can't imagine what it's like getting paid lots and lots and lots of money to be a complete dithering twit isn't there anything worth thinking about other than how buffed michelle obama is i mean i know laura bush was the physical and mental pillsbury dough-bunny and xanax poster girl and i don't have a tv but i still know that there was another well organized killing by pakistani fundamentalists who shot at the sri lankan cricket team folks that's really serious cricket is a sacred cow over there threatening players is like peeing in the baptismal font in st. peter's cathedral in the vatican seeing a turd bobbing on the surface just before you genuflect and obama's now getting ready to cut a deal with the taliban which means he wants to put them on the payroll .... again ..... because they were on our payroll back when the russians were in afghanistan so we might as well pay 'em not to fuck with us we've certainly had no luck hunting them down they just get stronger and stronger big opium crop you know and what happens when we run out of money and can't pay 'em there'll come a time when we can't cut funding to any more schools hospitals police are we going to give them a pink slip saying sorry guys you'd better look for some other form of employment find someone else to kill'em sure that'll go over really well and here's the deal .....


i know it'll come as a great shock to you but maybe, just maybe, our really good friend pakistan, maybe they're not our Best Friends Forever, even though we dumped over fifty billion dollars into the pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate (ISI), the guys that channeled a lot of that money on to al quaeda and the taliban, and now they've let a.q. khan out of his house you know the Father of the Pakistani Atomic Bomb the guy who was selling nuke technology to anyone and everyone with the cost of a frappucino in their pocket sure he was under house arrest for a while but the pakis would never let the cia or the fbi talk to him maybe they didn't want him waterboarded so there we have our good friends with fleets of f-16s we've sold 'em and nukular weppons and more religious fanatics than you'll have to help me with a simile here i'm too tired to come up with anything better than a republican prayer meeting but you know what i'm driving at and gosh guys i don't know but maybe just maybe the bush administration's lack of any coherent policy other than just throwing gobs of money at repressive military regimes around the world that were clearly not "democracies" that showed no inclination of ever being a "democracy" that just haphazardly stroked our military dick and said "ooooo daddy it's so big now give me more money" that were subsidizing our avowed enemies not that we were very interested in finding people like osama bin laden certainly the pakistani intelligence didn't need to find him they knew right where he was they delivered pizzas to his front door all because bush pursued simplistic policies that put torturing prisoners above the need for nation building and dealing with the enemies of the united states and believe me we do have enemies and ......

if that's all bush and cheney and all those shitheads wanted to do wouldn't it have been cheaper and easier to just bring 'em animals from the shelter they could torture kitties set fire to dogs pull the whiskers off of puppies incinerate kittens eviscerate hamsters here's your gerbil you scumbag fuck you know where you can put this one .....

jeeeziz ..... michelle obama's got bare arms ..... please ..... someone help me ......


america's always been racist and classist, but there are resentments against classes and stratae that i never dreamed of: what does "equality" mean these days? that we're all fat, stupid, incompetent and resentful? .... there's a move afoot to put a bike path through a hill that abuts my house .... let me be really candid here: i'm vehemently opposed to it, and i'll tell you why: i don't want any more shitheads near my house than i already have .... seriously: i've actually had people crawl through a quarter mile of thick brush and poison oak; haul themselves over my very high lower fence; climb up through my lower yard; rap on my back door and say "we're lost .... can we use your bathroom and walk on through?"

so i went to a meeting about bike paths last week, and i learned that people who want to ride bicycles on bike paths in marin county need bike paths because they don't want to bicycle over hills because, well .... it's just too hard .... and they don't want the bike path to go near any intersections because, well .... it's so difficult to stop a bike or make a turn ..... but it's all okay because putting this bike path through the mountain even though we don't know if it's feasible the southern pacific tunnel that goes under the little mountain's been shut down and filled up and decaying for twenty years just the feasibility studies alone run a couple three mil a conservative estimate to actually do something'd be around eighty mil but it's okay because it'll reduce the carbon footprint and people'll get out of their cars and they'll all go shopping on their bikes i'm not making this up and the skies will be filled with magic rainbows and we'll all be green and pooty the wonder pony'll walk up to you and you can give him a lump of sugar and braid his mane and then i learned that these whining snivelling little maggots really hate people who actually ride bikes because they're "really athletic and really fit and they can go up hills it's no problem for them and then they come bombing down because they're all thrill seekers and adrenaline addicts" and i thought i'd died and gone to a confabulation of the stepford wives sucking off the pod people and i said you know the problem with god is, she just made a lot of hills when she made marin county wouldn't it be easier if we just bulldozed everything? and what i didn't say was god fucked up when she made all of you so stupid and fat and intolerant and entitled and really fucking ugly too and everyone smiled at me and said yes, you sure got that right and then i went outside and puked duodenal blood up into the bushes .....


so ..... let's get back to this torture thing, the thing we do so well .... it's glib and it's facile, just saying that the beast within us all lies beneath a thin quivering veneer of civilization; i'll bitch slap the next fool who dismisses torture as "it's a post-9/11 world," or who says "stringent times demand harsh measures ...." don't tell me that beating people to death or smearing menstrual blood on a koran's "kept us safe;" au contraire, mes amis: it's pissed off a lot of people, they're well armed, and they've got a bone to pick .... americans aren't an introspective bunch, but we'd better learn how, and we'd better learn it really fast .... over sixty years after the end of the second world war the german newspaper, der spiegel, regularly runs articles on the third reich; they're not forgetting, they're still looking for lessons ..... i think there's some lessons we can learn; an important lesson for americans to learn is that there is such a thing as "the rule of law" and that "having a bad hair day" doesn't excuse barbarism, torture, or mass murder .....


next: dr. pete rides pooty the wonder pony

we went to see "slumdog millionaire" on oscar night; it was a good night to see it--between heavy rains and it being oscar night there wasn't anyone in the theater, and we actually parked right out in front of the theater .... i don't get out much these days, so i was .... well, not surprised but ..... taken aback by the assaultive nature of what we were subjected to before slumdog started: advertisements, commercials, promos, played at top fucking volume; i know, this is america, a nation of whores, where every inch of space has to be smeared with some corporation's logo feces, where there are now fucking tv screens on top of gas pumps that tout high calory high fat predominantly synthetic snack foods to bovine america while pushing big! quality! autos from detroit that get 17 mpg! highway! even as Big Oil bends you over and pumps bucks out of your butt but this .... this was aural rape, a massive headfucking of a captive audience, an interminable and unavoidable shrieking, shrilling, importuning, yelling and ..... i'm no stranger to volume; god knows i spent my time in front of big amps, when it was a badge of honor to learn how to lipread, when the success of a performance was gauged by how much blood came from the ears of the folks in the front but ....

when did volume, subsonic frequencies, and the sound of explosions become a substitute for emotion and meaning?

ha ha .... silly question; don't bother taking it seriously ....

fortunately, america's advertisers take americans seriously, and here's what they were pushing ..... shampoo, for starters; then we got into a dazzling array of upcoming motion pictures premiering on television, and all of them seemed to be about 1) barely post-pubescent "rock" musicians or 2) comic book superhero characters with superpowers and spandex costumes ..... jeez, i had all the marvel comics from back in the sixties on, but you didn't have to put in earplugs to read them ..... boy, i sure love going to the movies so i can find out what's coming up on television, and i resonate wildly to teenage heartbreak and, as for evil mutant comic characters who hate humanity and want to destroy the world, i've been following republicans for years, so do i need to see this shit at 145 decibels?....

anyway, we liked slumdog; i grew up in pakistan and boy, did i feel right at home here .... have you seen it yet? there's a sequence where you get to see lots of young beggars; when i saw how many of them were missing limbs i knew right away what was coming; why, doesn't everyone know that kids get their arms and legs broken because crippled beggars make more money? it was part of my education as a seven-year-old in karachi, pakistan .... and later in life, too: it's a guild, kind of like the internships i had to do on the way to becoming a psychologist, mutilating, degrading, and scrambling for spare change .... ha ha .....

well, it was kind of synchronous, seeing slumdog millionaire last night and reading the "news" the last week, with the dow index now down over fifty percent in one year ..... you've got a choice: you can go to the movies and watch slumdog millionaire, or you can stay home and read about all the scumbag millionaires you're forking your hard-earned tax dollars over to, those fucking beggars .... oh, they're fucking beggars, all right, and their begging is predicated on mutilation but never think that they'd mutilate themselves ... instead they've mutilated the economy, and they're threatening further mutilation unless they get more money: eeeeee, we're too big to fail! oooooooo, how can we attract top talent unless we drop millions and millions of dollars on them? aaaaaaaaaa, sucka! if we go down we're taking everyone with us ......

clearly, they've spent their money wisely and well, judging by how well their businesses are doing, so i'm thinking we oughtta give 'em what they want .... it's not just that they're extortionate threatening cocksuckers: doesn't it strike you as ... mmmm ..... odd? that the people in charge of forking the swag over to citibank used to work for citibank?

oh, life's little ironies!

speaking of movies, here's my current favorite: wall-e, another oscar winner, especially the first thirty-five minutes .... i watch it over and over and over i really do .... it just keeps me endlessly entertained, and i think it telling that its non-verbal machines are more complex, compelling, and attractive than the 'human' characters that are introduced after thirty-six minutes .... but what really gets me is that wall-e has a christian theme ..... you didn't know that? neither did i, but i just read it somewhere and immediately repressed the knowledge of where; it must have been the front page of the new york times ..... really, i didn't know that these robots had accepted jesus as their personal savior, while their selflessness is one of the christian virtues .... NOT! it's the same rationale that has n[auseatingly] p[uerile] r[adio] repeatedly giving air time to those who would expatiate shrilly about their wonderous faith--haven't they ever heard that pride's a sin?--or air time to republicans who need to say how they wish our president to fail, how they want our country to crash into oblivion, how turr'ble it's gonna be when we soshalize the banks, and this helpin' peeple stay in their homes ain't fiscally responsible--like funding illegal immoral unilateral invasions of sovereign nations; maintaining occupying forces around the world, and funding a preposterous "defense" budget is ..... i guess the best way to "balance the books" is to shut down schools and hospitals; 'member now, edjimacation and health care is fiscally irresponsible and ...... aren't there any democrats who have comments? well ..... i know there aren't any democrats who have a spine, but surely we could find a socialist or progressive who could indict the failures of forty years of republican voodoo economics ..... shouldn't we establish--once and for all--the total failure of republican economic theories as an historical fact? rather than devote more time a 'battle of the books' between the bible and "the origin of species?" anyway, i envy people who can find affirmations of their faith wherever they look, be it a cheeseburger, the mold on a stale piece of bread, or the abstract diarrhetic splatter on a porcelain bowl: honey, come look! it's jee-ziz face! it's our lord and saviour!

actually our current economic crisis is a christian theme park .... didn't know that? here's how it works: see, when the world's economy collapses one of the benefits will be that people can no longer afford food .... or water ..... starving people will get edgy; there will be riots, chaos and anarchy will ensue, nations will go to war over mcdonald's franchises, untold numbers will die and .... and this will hasten the rapture .....

i shouldn't have to explain this to you ....

speaking of religion--and hastening armageddon--over one hundred and fifty years after emancipation the residents of washington d.c. are set ... .maybe ... to get a vote ..... there's a trade-off, of course; republicans want d.c.'s citizens to be able to carry semi-automatic weapons on their way to the polls, the bargaining chip being that "we'll give 'em the vote if we can sell 'em the guns ...." i don't know; i thought that d.c.'s citizens were already better armed than the national guard and that d.c. was the murder capitol of the united states as well as being our capitol city, but ..... subtlety has never been america's strong point, and overkill is a way of life .....


next: dr. pete reads the bible to a galapagos tortoise

some days are better than others, and some weeks just suck rocks .... let me tell you about the last one: it not only sucked rocks, it gargled them, rolling them over and over, before spitting them out in a fine white powder .... mid-week last week my back was killing me to the point i couldn't sleep all night but ... ha ha ... that doesn't mean i get to rest through the day: i drive the boys to and from school, and kalevi was .... mmmmm ..... being vociferously tempermental, coming and going ..... it was all wearing and distracting, to the point that i got ticketed, for rolling a stop sign, four doors down from my house .....

i wondered if i should have the boys start going through the sounds of barnyard animals: boys, what sound does a horse make? and a cow? now, boys; what sound do pigs make? "do you know why i pulled you over?"

the answer is obviously "because you're on a fund drive and you could be pulling over all the shoppers on their cell phones, but no .... you have to be fucking with me when i've lived here for thirty fucking years and yada yada yada yada yada .... i didn't go into my song and dance because i was too tired but also because i've seen too many trophy wives in big cards pulled over of late, instead of the usual collection of the brown complected in old toyotas piled high with yard implements, plus we've been teaching the boys that police are their friends and what to say to them if they're ever lost .... so .... i really had no right to complain but .....

i thought i'd try it anyway ....

hey, ossifer, is said; i wanna be like all those politicians; you know, the ones that fuck up but then get to walk when they apologize, when they say with all the heartfelt sincerity they can muster how sorry they are ..... david vitter, republican of louisiana, comes to mind: an active participant in his local conservative church--and a conservative politican--he asked god and his wife for forgiveness: "please forgive me for payin' hooo-ers ta whup me an' make me lick their boots 'n' snoff their panties 'n' other body parts my wife won't do that with me i shore am sorry" and then of course there's daschle gosh darn it all honey do you know where my keys are and oh, here's one hundred and forty-five thousand dollars i'd set aside for taxes but just slipped my mind i didn't pay those taxes i sure am sorry" and then of course timothy geithner just the person i want overseeing my hard-earned tax dollars i can understand how someone who's worked for the international monetary fund and was head of citibank could just not know tax regulations and miss out on paying taxes to the irs it's an honest mistake and he said he's sorry so it's okay and so i said to the police i'm really sorry now how about getting on your fucking way i want to go home and take a nap and ....

what do you think happened?

i wonder if, say, some inner city dark-complected youth, caught with a little wacky terbacky on him, and facing double life for drug trafficking, said "i'm sorry .... my bad ...." what do you think would happen?

if we're going down the "i'm sorry" highway, there's something i'd like to hear ... what i'd like to hear is the republicans apologizing for being scumsucking obstructionist corpse fuckers: "we're sorry we're duplicitous evil fucks .... we're sorry the only ideas we have are to continue sabotaging our country in every way possible .... we're sorry we're traitors who want our wartime president to fail in a time of war .... we're sorry we hold the american people in utter contempt, loathing and disdain .... we're sorry we've sanctioned mass murder and genocide .... we're sorry we promulgated the mass looting of the world's resources ..... we're sorry we've obstructed all attempts to address global climate change, something that threatens each and every one of us on god's planet earth and ..... we torture puppies, too, but we've got to cling to something, okay? so lock up your dogs at night, bitch"

boy, do we have priorities, or what? let's give citibank another forty billion dollars because they need to pay bonuses to the sociopaths that institutionalized fiscal sodomy, but let's all vote against funding education in the "economic stimulus" package .... yessirree bob, that one hundred and fifty mil would be misspent if it taught our darker complected and less fortunate how to read or write ..... know why?

because educated people'd be less likely to join the army as the only way to make a living: cannon fodder for continued imperialist aggression ..... oooops! ..... i meant to say, safeguarding our national interests with unilateral invasions of oil producing regions ......

speaking of priorities, here's what ours look like .... go ahead, check it out:

http://www.ruthgroup.org/2009/02/12/not-my-priorities

i don't know what i can add to this ..... oh; while you're there, click on http://notmypriorities.org/sources and watch the little film with ben and his b.b.'s .....it's a hoot, it's a real hoot ......

it's possible that the first month of the obama presidency has really been carefully and strategically crafted to cement his position by "reaching out across the aisle" only to have "the hand of friendship" spurned and rejected by "crass craven cowardly evil satanic cocksucking monsters who pose and posture as 'patriots'" who advocate "fiscal responsibility" excuse me while i spew blood across the parquetry take another look at the link above there's your fiscal responsibility and now that they've been shown to be evil cretinous kobolds maybe he can pursue his agenda without having to pander to them any more but i don't know and it's raining outside nice that we've actually and finally got winter here in california but it's raining too hard for me to go out and bike the trails'd be all greasy i don't mind mud riding it's a legitimate excuse to wallow but i've had a chest cold for too long and it means the boys are inside and i've run out of kibble so's i can't lock them up in the garage and ....


next: dr. pete goes to starbucks