I don't know if other muso's get this, but I have bee nsitting on a 7 track album plus a few bonus tracks for about a year now because I wasn't proud of the final result. The guy who mixed and recorded it really is a genius muso himself and has a great home studio set up, and a remarkeable ear, and he assures me it is good, but I just don't like it.
I mean I have to bite the bullet and release it, but it's gonna be hard to enthusiastically sell something I'm not proud of.
Oh well, we'll see if I'm wrong. A few of the songs on my profile are on the album, Love and Peace and Not in this Life. You tell me, how are they?

Homer

Hi gang,
I don't often rant and rave, but when I've built up a gig better than it was, and they can entertainment for budgetary reasons, yeah I guess it gets my goat.

Especially when I spend literally days finding people around the area and sending them invitations to attend the gigs, and some of you guys came down. Cheers to you guys !!!

Boo sucks to Coles or whatever corporate supermarket chain owns the KT.

So if you came to any of the Kenmore Tavern gigs, and had a bloody good time (or even if you didn't,) feel free to call them on  3378 0777 and tell the manager (in the nicest possible way) that their decision was a tad silly as the work was WORKING, and they shouldn't can entertainment, especially the big bald kind !!!!

Anyway, don't want all this bad, sooky energy to be around me, so all good, will catch yas at another gig, coz after this rant I'll hardly be invited back again, even if they do put entertainment on, coz I'm being a big sook. Ah, deep breath, all good... Love yas,

Love yas all,

Homer

 

Check this poem out and join the blog from 'Who Killed Kenny.'

 

A champion band and good friend of my big, bad mate Jim McAllister.

 

Well I met him at a boozer,

Just out from Chambers Flat,

He seemed just like a loser,

Wide belt and beaten hat,

He sauntered up from nowhere,

While I was on my break,

Said he was a muso,said he could relate.

He'd played all round the Carlton gigs and places up the track,

but after some bad history, couldn't make it back.

He'd learnt his craft the hard way,from Cairns to Walgaroo,

playing clubs and pubs and parties,

some wild nights on the booze.

But after years of working,a bug got in his ear.

The same dull voice was taunting him,enough to bring a tear,

"What about some Acca Dacca ! " would waft down from the stands

"Your playing all that Yankee stuff,how 'bout some Aussie Bands? "

At every job he heard him,but couldn't pick the source.

The same old whiney,striney voice was driving him off course

"Where's some AC/DC? I need to get my fix ! "

"Stop playing all that country crap, ya not the Dixie Chix,"

He tried to find him every gig,he even hired some spotters,

But soon as they would leave the room,came the voice that drove him nutters,

"How 'bout some Acca Dacca" would belt him round the ears,

In the kind of voice that only comes from eight or nine cold beers.

"Thunderstruck or Jailbreak is what ya should be playin'

If poor Bon Scott could raise his head,I know what he'd be sayin'

And so this Son of The Southern Cross,left our sunburnt shore,

and moved across the Tasman ,to the Land of sheep (and more)

Felt great to play the classics,without his wanker mate,

and for a time,things went well until a gig quite late,

He heard a voice from through the crowd that filled him with raw rage,

Not quite the same as his Aussie mate,but he jumped down from the stage.

"How 'bout some Max Merritt Bro" said a man out back

"Or them Finn boys sure can play a tune and so can Auckland Jack"

"Your playing all them Aussie tunes,how 'bout some Kiwi stuff? "

But alas our friend just bowed his head and said I've had enough

So next time that your at my gigs and don't like what I'm playing,

There's two words below this poem from me, that sum up what I'm saying

 

 

 

 

GET ROOTED !!!

Here goes everyone.

Just a quick note (a few people asked to be reminded) that the gig tponight at the Ferny Grove Tavern with Al Greenaway from the Hardways.

 

Will be a fun drunken debarcle so see you there if u can make it.

 

Homer

 

Well guys, this is gonna be a fun night. In a freak meeting of musos, while trying to find a bass player to do a band gig a muso mate, Mick Melit, who I have been recording with, told me about a great bass player, can sing, top bloke etc etc. I said well put me in touch with him and lo and behold it's my mate and former Hardway, and composer of the classic Hardway tunes Please Love Me and Latin Love Cocktail.

So on the 15th Feb at the Ferny Grove Tavern, there is gonna be the closest thing to a Hardways reunion until I can track down Stuey and get Matt Farthing down here from way up North.

So make sure you get you butts down to the Ferny Grove on the 15th for a night of fun, rock, drunkenness and the usual Hardways madness. Shame Matty won't be there to roll his eyes at us this time.

Call, sms or email for details or I'll see ya there,

Homer

 

The Homer Game !!!!!

  

How it works....

  

- Step one    - buy a CD of my band, 'The Hardways' for $20 - (read the review here)

- Step two    - tell 5-20 friends / colleagues to do the same (if you can stand to....haha)

- Step three - Instead of paying marketing fees to some record company, I'm paying them to you for ANY CD sales that happen as a result of you (including people you tell who tell people and so on and so on)

  

If that's enough for you, then click here to grab your CD, email me your name and the person who told you about the game's name, you're then registered. You can then forget the following intricate explanation, but for some of you want more details, here you go.........

  

  

 

I know, it sounds too good to be true and we've heard it all before. But this time it's a no lose situation, coz click here to read a review of the review of the album, and see how this promotional exercise to move a few albums by my band 'The Hardways,' is a no lose situation given the rave reviews. 

  

We've all been hit up by friends and family for several hundred dollars just for some sign up kit for AMWAY or some other 'network marketing' or other system, and let's face it, due to the crap reputation systems like that have and the high sign up costs, not too mention all the 'meetings' you're expected to attend, etc, it's all just too hard. Well, I know how you feel, and this game is exactly the opposite, it's a game. If you earn a few bucks, great. If not, you get an awesome CD for $20 and who cares, no harm done. 

  

And here's the thing, you're willing to do it, to buy a CD from an entrepreneurial muso who is disallusioned with the traditional methods of record companies, so surely 20 people you know may wanna play too, and all you gotta do is get 20 people to grab one, and yours is COMPLETELY FREE, as you get $1 from the sale of every CD you have introduced or anyone you introduced has introduced for 10 LEVELS !!

  

For any of you who know the principle here, I have budgeted for ten levels of payments to be made at a dollar a referral. So, of the $20 paid for each CD, some is for covering the costs of recording, printing, mastering and advertising, etc, and the remaining 10 dollars of each CD sold gets paid to you, the person who introduced you, and so on for 10 levels. See how the numbers add up in the two examples below. 

  

I know what you're thinking, 'These diagrams below look remarkably 'Amwayey!!'' Well I am no graphic artist so once the CD sales are chugging along nicely, I'll re do this page to help you guys out with your referrals. 

See the diagrams below - 

  

.

  

 

I appreciate those numbers are flat out ridiculous and I doubt whether I'll be selling 1,000,000 albums, but who knows, stranger things have happened. Be a part of the madness early and as I said, $1 per CD sold in your downline for 10 LEVELS.   

  

So go ahead, take a $20 punt, get a great CD, and who knows, you might be the first to rave about some freak muso tried to do an 'amway' album launch and sent you a cheque for $1000. Nothing to lose !!

  

CLICK HERE to PLAY

'THE HOMER GAME'

  

  

PS - I am a musician with an idea to get my (and my buddies') music on the ears of a lot of people and pay them accordingly to do so. My mobile phone number is on the 'Contact Us' page and you can speak directly to me if you have any doubts as to my authenticity.

This system is simple, tested and works, and will earn the people who help me get this music out there a lot of cash. So if anyone has ever had a dream, even of being involved in the management and promotion of an artist, you might understand where I'm coming from and get caught up in the hype that is sure to follow. Thanks, 

  

Homer

God, I had one of those gigs tonight like my mate Jim did. They were all wanting to fight, annoy the shit out of me, one guy asked for Achy Breaky f**cking Heart between EVERY song.

 

Too tired to give an indepth description of it, but Jim, my heart is with ya on this one mate.

 

Homer

With ya on this one Jimbo, and from the way you describe it, this guy would be annoying as hell. So my heart goes out to this story as I can hear the angst in your writing my man.

That being said (and now's where my big mate Jim is gonna hate me), I'm the sort of entertainer that encourages people like our friend here. Not that this particular guy , from the sounds of it, would have got a geurnsey, I let nearly anyone who wants to get up and play, sing, bash a tambourine, blow (and usually suck) on a harp, whatever. And more often than not, they are at least half adequate at what they want to do.
And if no one plays with Jim, then I am absolutely honoured, coz I played Jim's ax, and sang Walkin by Myself at a gig of Jim's and I didn't know at the time that I was one of few that make it through the big fellas criteria. I sincerely hope he wasn't hating every minute of my playing and cringing uncomfortably that I was going to drop his weapon of choice. God, hope I was ok Jim. Haha, here's the thing though.... Now the reason I have chosen to let people play my guitar, sing with me, is that's how I actually got started. A band called Small Torque, Nik Phillips and many other musos knew I was learning guitar, and said, 'Well get your bald ass up here and show us what you've got. And at the time (and some would argue, still now) I didn't have much...haha, but I got the bug and years later I have been one of the more requested soloists around Brisbane. Work (and for a while this was my only work) has since kept from doing a full schedule, but I'm creeping back up there.

Each muso makes a choice as to whether they will let the drunk guy up, and I have chosen to do so. And here's the thing, we get paid pretty well to do what we do, and when I go to a club, honestly I'm sitting there appreciating what they guy is doing or band, and part of me is saying, 'I'm ready, put me in coach.' Recently in Cabo San Lucas at Sammy Hagar's club, the Cabo Wabo this happened and I got up with the house band and we kicked butt down the in good ole Mexico.

Anyway enough rambling, Jim is one of the best, and when I played Walkin by Myslef at his gig, could he have done it better, absolutely. My guitar skills are a tad 'lacklustre' but hey can't sing, can't play guitar, well maybe not to the extent that I suck, but The Edge, Tuffy et al come to mind, where hopefully we've all got something to offer and how often we work is an indication of how right or wrong we are about our ability (or despite a lack thereof), but to the weekend warrior out there, buy a PA for $1000, and go and tell your local club you'll play a Thur or a Sun arvo, when they don't have entertainment, and do it for nothing, and practice enough til you can get paid to do it. If you want to do it badly enough pissed on the night, learn your craft. If you only get serious about it after consuming 17 Jim Beams, either prepare yourself to be told to sod off most of the time, or come and see me, where (most of the time) you get at least one shot, but if you suck completely and make an idiot out of me, the venue and yourself, even as persistent as Jim's mate here was, you won't be getting an encore performance.

Hope my mate Jim doesn't mind my rambling reply. I know we differ in opinions, but hey, that shouldn't matter (I hope coz Jim's bigger and stronger than me and may kick my ass for this.) haha

Posted by Homer on Friday, July 20, 2007 at 10:24 AM
[Reply to this]

It starts........

Well, Thanks to myspace for allowing me to come and talk crap and expose myself to the world... (The world screams.........NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO).

I'm wondering just who this will be to as I have no idea if only friends are going to come here, (as in real friends that I know out in the world) or will complete strangers end up here reading my inate ramblings? Who knows so I'll start rambling and see where I end up.

I'm Glenn Twiddle, sometimes known as 'Homer'. I got the nickname about 12 years ago at the Treasury casino when I had a 'meltdown' on the craps table the same night as Homer had a meltdown in the powerplant. I guess when 2000 employees know you as Homer and you decide to play guitar for a living, it is a bit more memorable than 'Glenn The Guitarist.'

So I am a guitar player/singer/hypnotist/real estate sales trainer and a former professional wrestler. Wonder if anyone in the world has those credentials? I'm not saying any of them are amazingly unique in and of themselves; I just wonder if any other freaks have that exact combination of careers and hobbies.

Anyway, it's late, I'm off to bed. Check out the site, notice that one of my fav bands growing up, Mark Gable from the Choirboys, was the first person to sign my comments. Woohoo !!!!

Later team !!!

I know my good mate Matt Farthing can identify with Jim on this one. He was never a fan of me letting drunk singers, hot chicks just wanting to dance on the stage and be the centre of attention, etc get up on stage. Here's Jim's angst laden Blog entry (check him out Jim McAllister on myspace) about a gig he had 2 days before Christmas, merry christmas mate.

I played at the Waterloo Bay Hotel in Wynnum tonight. Quite a few people there remember me fondly from when I played there regularly last year. Funny thing about popular demand....It doesn't get me back into venues if the manager is using agents who won't book me. I got this gig direct.

The gig began well enough and I thought it was going to be another good night there. I got the usual unrealistic requests for songs a soloist simply can't perform if he's playing the guitar himself and not relying on Karaoke backings but I handle those pretty well  as a rule. What really revs me up though is when drunks ask me to let them get up and sing with me. I always say no one sings with me, no one plays my guitar, NO ONE gets up with me with a harmonica!!!!! This one dude tonight asked me between every song in the last two sets if he could sing with me. At one point he wanted me to go sit down while he sang one song. He also wanted me to play without backing tracks some Led Zepellin songs so he could sing them. He was more than just a pest. He was insistent. I said loudly into the mic, NO ONE SINGS WITH ME!  Nothing deterred him. While I was singing he just sat there giving me the death stare and as soon as I finished each song he was there, asking to get up and do one with me. I just kept saying no so he got some of the crowd to pester me for songs they knew I couldn't do so that he could get up and give me a hand to do them. I tried to ignore him but he wouldn't go away. Sat real close too so that I couldn't miss him. The last thing you do in that situation is let them see they're ratling you...don't show weakness. I should have asked the bouncer to keep that fool away from me but I didn't dream he wouldn't take 20 NO's for an answer. After the second last song the few remaining punters asked me what I was going to play last, which 'go out in a blaze of glory number' was I going to finish with. The wannabe singer wanted me to let him get up to sing the last song of course but I said I would play Still Got The Blues. I hadn't got to the middle eight when they all walked out. This after asking me to play one more for them! I promptly hit 'Stop' and said, "If you're going home now so am I, you ingnorant pack of ****s!"....I was driving away in less than half an hour. I told the barmaid, who incidently won't look me in the eye or give me the time of day because she's pretty and thinks she's too good to talk to me, that if that dude was still there when I was ready to load out and said anything to me I'd beat the crap out of him. She wasn't aware of the goings on earlier.

I know that as a soloist I'm not a superstar, just the guy over in the corner and I accept that cheerfully. It's my living after all. Sometimes though I really despair at the attitude of people towards musicians. A lot of soloists these days aren't musicians at all. They mime the songs and get away with it because the drunks don't care. I turn up and play songs every bit as good as the original versions and on a good night (and most of my nights are good nights thanks to my sober habits) I won't make a discernable mistake. I have been told that people think I can't possibly be playing the guitar for real and that I have to be miming like a lot of others do. They won't come and ask me, they just assume. That explains why I hardly ever get applause. Because I actually play songs for real to backing tracks and don't have a karaoke machine backing me with hundreds of songs available some punters get disappointed if I can't play every song they request. They're so used to the mime acts who are karaoke singers masquerading as solo guitarists/singers.