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RAY MIDNITE A.K.A.{DA PLAYBOY BLOGGER!!}



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 30
Sign: Leo

City: TAC-TOWN, ATL, CLEVELAND
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/14/2005

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Thursday, August 27, 2009 


..

MY DEBUT SHOW!!..I LOVED IT..WILL DO THIS MORE OFTEN..MAYBE TONITE...TUNE IN..GIVE ME FEEDBACC!!

6:00 AM 
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Monday, August 10, 2009 

Current mood:  curious
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Well its over...I can honestly say that im truly blessed to make it to 30...Being 20 sumthin was very fun and knowledgeable but to me the 20's went by kinda fast..I dont know..maybe the fact that i had children and was trying to get my life in order but..i had a great time in my twenties..I learned a lot more about people and life in itself..having children was definitely the highlights of it all..Just seeing someone who is just like you and loves you to death unconditionally is just amazing to me..I have no regrets but i do admit that i should've done some things differently...I've experienced and found new places and have met new friends and it just feels good to know that i was never one tracc minded about doing things...and now that i enter this new decade of life i must start adapting to a new approach for me and my childrens sake..In my 30's i hopefully get to see my son become a teen..My wisdom is already showing up..but im ready to be more focused..So im looking forward to see how things turn out..
3:10 AM 
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Thursday, July 16, 2009 

Current mood:  curious
Category: Writing and Poetry
So Special,So Special..you one of those types thats unforgetable
I know you're not my girlfriend but..I swear that I love you..
As I sit here and listen to Ryan Leslie,all I do is think about is wanting you next to me
But I'm content knowing that we're friends and that we'll never be..


I must admit when I see you ..I get so excited
Its a feeling that I hide in front of my friends,but deep down inside I really try but I seriously have a hard time fighting it..
I really hate hearing those fateful words"you're too cool" or "I don't wanna risk losing our friendship"..Man do I hate hearing that shit!!
But the next man you want or end of with treats you like your worthless..
and I be wanting to say so bad..I can love you..I can love you better than he can..
But because we so tight..you don't wanna think outside the box or at least try to understand..

So Unique, So Special, So Original you are...
You're so beautiful..you should've been placed in the sky at night along with the rest of the stars.
So bright with such shine, I could stare at you all night
I need to catch a plane..So I can see you in flight.


Its always the ideal ones that you don't end up being with..
And ain't that a BITCH..I never had or have a problem being up front and honest with you
You being you and staying so true is what makes you so beautiful..
I try to be the best the best friend I can and be down..
I'll play my part and fade into the background.

The aura of you just trickles right off your physique..
Sometimes when I'm around you, I'm at a loss for words and can hardly speak
I admit I still fantasize about you..I guess thats what makes you so special..

I've wanted you for years but I couldn't find the words to come out my mouth,so they could find your ears..
I don't care if you been with someone I know or one of my friends
They wasn't me, so it doesnt matter now and it didn't matter then..

You're like a melody of my favorite song playing on my radio..
You're like the lever of my gears that make me GO...
I know that sounds kinda chessy and corny tho..
But thats the feeling I get from someone who is SO SPECIAL..RAY MIDNITE
Currently listening:
II
By Boyz II Men
Release date: 1994-08-30
4:06 AM 
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Sunday, May 31, 2009 

Current mood:  confident
Category: Writing and Poetry
Just waking up and its Saturday morning
Its almost 8:00am and I'm still yawning
Time to break out da frosted flakes and crunchberries
Scooby-Doo finna come on yeah its kinda scary

Can't wait for transformers and go-bots
Bumble -bee and optimus yo they was kinda hot
and lets not forget about huckleberry hound and flintstones
walkin barefeet on concrete,wheels made of stone

What about the X-Men and thundercats
Heathcliff, garfield and top cat
Jailhouse Rock,reading rainbow, 3-2-1 contact

And sho can't forget about fat albert and the smurfs
Zoobulee,sesame street, ernie and bert
Its 12 o'clock sunshine gleaming bright
Bout to hit the corner store for some now & laters and sprite

Its getting kinda hot turn on the fire hydrant
Time to get wet,keep away the bums and tyrants
I couldn't wait to play duck,duck, goose and freeze tag
Playing dodgeball and striking out on kickball did make me kinda mad

Girls were playing hopscotch,while guys was playing football
and for those who couldn't come out they would play inside the project halls
Uh-Oh no money and I'm kinda mad
So I goes to the supermarket and help folks with their bags

I just made enough to buy a box of raisinets
Now I'm off to the house to see whats next
To the homies house to play video games
Always playin against one another ,but the results were the same

R.C. Pro am, Super mario bros 2
Man it felt good in those days to get along with your crew
Its nightime and everybody ate
Gotta find sumthin else to do before it gets too late

I know..lets play hide and go seek and hide and go get it
Some girls wasn't trying to play,but some girls was wit it
By the time we got done it was time to go in the house

I was tired and still had to wake up for church
and after that I had to finish some school work
Damn I wish Saturday hurries up and come again
So I can go back outside and kick it with my friends..












Currently listening:
The Point of It All
By Anthony Hamilton
Release date: 2008-12-16
9:00 PM 
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Sunday, January 18, 2009 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
You know as I sit here on this very HISTORIC weekend I'm very touched and filled with emotion watching CNN and MSNBC{PLUS THE EAGLES-CARDINALS GAME}seeing all kinds of people thousands upon thousands already in D.C. and its not even Tuesday yet..You know when Marttin Luther King spoke his I have a dream speech there where only a quarter of a million people there{seemed like more}but on Historic Tuesday its expected to be over 2 millions people of all colors there..It gets me excited to watch politics now more than ever..I felt really important for the first time voting in my life and all BLACK people but all people in general should be watching this unfold..I wish I could be in D.C. right now but seeing it on television is a better front row seat..ITS LIKE A CONCERT OUT THERE RIGHT NOW..Can't wait for for MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK VIDEO DEBUTING TOMORROW ON MTV JAMS!!!..Wow 40 years later I wish my grandparents was alive to see this..THIS IS OUR TIME THAT WE DESERVED..Our country has shifted in Bad but especially in a GOOD way with what is taken place this weekend..IT FEELS GOOD BEING BLACK ALWAYS BUT REALLY,REALLY RIGHT NOW.It does say a lot that there are no more excuses..that we can accomplish anything that we want to do in life period.This really inspires and motivates me to do more with my life in all honesty and I am looking forward and not backwards anymore..Its just amazing that a day after MLK DAY THAT THE NEXT DAY OUR FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT WILL BE SWORN IN!!! Theres viewing parties going on and club parties on Tuesday thats why I call this a 5 day weekend..I'm in a very great mood today and my son and daughter will be able witness this in their lifetime..So my success and luck with you PRESIDENT OBAMA I AM ON YOUR SIDE THRU THICK AND THIN AND I WILL BE IN YOUR CORNER AND I WILL BE GLUED TO THE T.V. YES WE DONE DID IT!!!
Currently listening:
Intro
By Intro
Release date: 1993-04-06
8:22 PM 
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Monday, December 15, 2008 

Current mood:  weird
Category: Life
I remember when at this time last year I was so happy and healthy..WOW what a difference a year makes, I had the woman that I had been longing for{or so I thought}thats why I have that KanYe song SEE YOU IN MY NIGHTMARES..just for that to remind me.A beautiful baby girl was born from it but I haven't seen her physically since July..never envisioned that happening to me..My job was snatched from me..To be honest with you its kinda tragic how everything played out...I lost my mind,my soul, my health,my weight and pretty much everything else.I had a prepared blog for this but I left it back in Tacoma which is where my heart is still..My daughter is now 11 months and her birthday is next month and I'm kinda dreading it cuz I can't see her and I have no idea if her mother will answer the phone to at least wish her a happy 1st..Its fucked up that I have to have a parenting plan to see my baby..at least that's the only way I will see her according to her mother.Its changing my life right before my eyes..and you know you try to block it out your mind but when you had your life set in a certain way and you content on things on how are..When things change so suddenly..its like you stuttering in your mind like but, but , but what I done did to deserve this? Its kinda hard to get by without thinking about it especially knowing that things will never be the same again..I left Tacoma suddenly..mainly because my mind wasn't in the right place...I was thinking violently and negatively which is not me and I know that and I had the opportunity to do it..Believe me I seeked advice from all avenues and all roads pointed to saying I should leave and clear my head..I apologize to all those I didn't say goodbye especially my close friends and family who know me best..I still love and think about you all the time..But this is the best thing for me in my life at this point and time in my life and this is where I wanted to be.Maybe if things wouldn't have transpired the way they did I wouldn't have left the way I did but I still would've left eventually.The one thing I didn't anticipate was this whole recession thing happening because its slowing the process of making the money that I really need to make so I find myself settling in which pisses me off that my daughter's mom got me fired even more because it couldn't have came at a more worse time..but I can't dwell on it anymore, I just have to keep striving and hoping for the best..It was hard getting on that plane because I had to hear the brunt of why I am leaving like that..I didn't get to see my son because I knew if I seen him knowing that it was going to be awhile before I seen him physically it would've crushed me mentally and I would've stayed but this was A GROWN MAN decision..I'm already missing all my close friends and family which is natural..Chubby,Quelle,KiKi{I'm sorry baby..I know you hate me but I still love you regardless and I owe you and will not forget}Young Dubie..man my cousin,my lil brother..You always came around to check on me and wanted to be around me..I felt like a big brother to you and you was there when things came together and when they fell apart..So you know the deal...00nevin..Kev theres some things I know but you also were there and I felt like a big brother to you as well..My nephews.Antonio,Javohn and Jaquan...I wish I could've done more for you guys..I'm trying to be the best Uncle I can or could for you guys and its not over believe that..It was just time and I hope you guys understand one day..I wanted to be the best Uncle I can for you guys and I will continue to be..I love you guys..Just please don't hurt or disappoint your mother or I will come back and fuck you guys up..LOL Be there for your mother because she needs you guys a lot..To Big Juss A.K.A DJ JUSS NYCE and Eup my barbershop fellas Thank you guys for being great friends to me..you guys are great entrepreneurs..Keep up the great work...Basically this is the BIG MOVE for me and I need your guys support and if not FUCK YA'LL imma make it work with or without ya LOL!! I'm happy where I am now and I'm making this an opportunity for ya'll to come and visit this beautiful city which is Atlanta..So I'll see you when you get here..Fin
Currently listening:
808s & Heartbreak
By Kanye West
Release date: 2008-11-24
2:14 AM 
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Friday, September 19, 2008 

Current mood:  energetic
First off let me start off by saying that I been hearing some folks say that I put too much of my biz out there..Well this is my response: THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON MY PAGE READING THIS VERY BLOG?!!..{sigh}I have nothing to hide about a damn thang..Just cuz u still hiding in your closet!!...Well whats up my friends...Its time for another one of those blogs..2008 has been a very bittersweet year{those who know me..knew this}for me..2008 brings my beautiful daughter{Raelynn Elaine Sinclair}into the world..Only I never thought that I would get shammed of seeing my child....WE GON PULL THAT ANDERSONCOOPER360 THING..KEEPING THEM HONEST LOL...This place is so depressing..I haven't seen Raelynn{luvbug}since July..And yet her mother ALREADY has another baby on the way by a BITCH{might as well be}which is fine..more power to ya..but I thought by now that she would me be more involved with my baby..but no..As I have said before I've done to nothing to deserve not seeing my child..All the time I been accused and it turns she was gettin played by his FAT,NASTY SLOPPY MAN TITTIES SAP..the whole time..In her face and then the nerve to get knocked up so soon when my daughter doesn't have enough attention as it is by her mother.So she comes and tell me how he done her wrong all crying to her friends..I guess cuz she thought cuz he was FAT AND SLOPPY that he couldn't cheat...WRONG..That karma boy..so she moves back in with him after she left intially..nowhere to go..and stops letting me see my child cuz what?...u embarassed..you should..I've made calls only to get ducked and dodged and lied to about seeing my child..Told me that she would argue with her BITCH ASS NIGGAH everytime I called about my daughter cuz he thinking I'm still hitting{TRUST ME BRUH I WOULDN'T PUT MY PIPE IN ANYTHING YOU RAW DOGGED!!!}2 people with insecurities..But as I have said in the past I hope it works..But damn u already got cheated on though?? I hope it lasts for her sake..But as long his ex is involved friend or not..No baby making is gon make a man automatically love you or making a child does not mean that your kids will automatically respect..you..I hope she keeps happiness around my daughter...She told me that theres NO WAY that your goin to see ur daughter unless you file a parenting plan..which hurts..cuz I'm like why? You think I'm not...I just didn't want to do something that I know she would regret later but..the selfishness, the rudeness,th rumors,the games..I got tired of gettin shammed  and lied to..and gettin igged when I call..Someone told me a few months what it is..is that she don't care me being a father to my daughter..and it kind of put things into a new perspective for me..Something that no man thats there for his children wants to ever hear...But I guess that is the truth..cuz its all stupidity and shes puttin my daughter in it  WHATS DA MATTER WITH YOU?!!..So i can't take it anymore...I'd been done did sumthin stupid..and I know this because theres too much built up anger about mines..So right now..I'm mentally drained and depressed and distraught about that..but life in itself has been neutral...but i'm tired of being here..Every since I've been lied on and framed that led to be being fired from my money by my daughter's mother and then the nerve to put me on child support...Its been rough cuz it couldn't have come at a worse period..When over 600,000 jobs have been lost since last January..and  wall street crisis and Recession woes..Its been hard to find somethin equvalent to what I was making..so money is tight..plus with the fact of saving for the move..I guess she helped get me the job but at the same time took it away..but why take away my son's healthcare and support for his mother?..So if I'mma deal with these hard times..why do it here along with all the negativity..Plus bad news travels fast around these parts...I'm not thirsty for love like that..to go and knock a chick and play the role like we're in love...Sorry not me..Change is going to be good this time around...I've learned a lot this year in a lil bit of time..I'm 29 now my last year in the 20's we gon have fun for my last year as a twenty something young man..Life is too short for stress..Life is what you make it and imma make right...My pain is gone..I have so much optimism about me returning to Atlanta..the only smear is the fact of the absence of my daughter..You can never find love and happiness by being stupid and selfish..only create envy and distance from others..Time to move on to the next chapter..No time for stupid people.. that lack common sense...Next topic:Election..Only thing I have to say is:MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK and that Palin is a novelty..any VP that dodges reporters is a puppet..period. ECONOMY: Everybody basically is struggling and I've never seen hard times like this in my life....Well this is what the terrorists wanted..to destroy the U.S. financially and by the looks of it...its succeeding..ALL THOSE BILLIONS ALL TO RESCUE INSURANCE AND BANK INSTITUTIONS..3-800 BILLON THAT IS..our children are going to be fucked when they get our age...I hope ya'll realize that..I told my son today that I was moving away to another place and he told me that he didn't want me to go..So I had to give the whole spill but he still didn't want to hear that I was leaving.So he left the room and his mom came and told me that he was in his room crying..So when I went in the room and talked to him..I'll be honest..It was one of the most challenging things I have to deal with..seeing him cry about me leaving..It felt different than before when I left which puts me under pressure to succeed...but I welcome it..I'm going to miss all my friends, my CLOSE friends my young homies..Look at it as me going to a place to where ya'll could come and vacate if you want to get away..But it is time..and I will be back...BELIEVE THAT..!!

Currently listening:
Year of the Gentleman
By Ne-Yo
Release date: 2008-09-16
10:42 AM 
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008 

Current mood:  energetic
Category: Life
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your live, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, after that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people, it's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you'll see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that there are people, who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance same goes for true love.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgive by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, As well as talking, Can ease emotional pains. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. I've learned to love and be loved. I've learned.

Omer Washington
Currently listening:
So Much Better
By Carl Thomas
Release date: 2007-06-05
8:39 AM 
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Thursday, May 29, 2008 

Current mood:  determined
Category: Life
Dear Rae,I finally got a chance to see you for the first time in a looooong time baaabay and I was overcome with so much emotional...I couldn't hold back the tears..Although I'm not too pleased that I had to see you again thru your mother's webpage..That really hurts my heart I am in fact so happy and blessed to see that at least from what I'm seeing...Your growing very well and you are growing to become a beautiful little girl. Listen I want you to know that..I'm sorry for what you don't know or can't understand yet but I want you to know that I love you......so much....Even though I'm not there with you lovebug but I think about you all the time..It hurts me to only see you thru pictures..God bless your mother cuz she not knowing what she doing is wrong or right..or maybe she do...I never hurt you or your mother in anyway..I just want you to know that I'm going to do the best and whatever it takes and fight as hard I can to see you and GO SUPERHARD when I do it..I never intended for us to be apart..Ever...but its okay..I will be strong for you lovebug..I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH..and I love you..I am your father,i don't care about your mother's personal life and I'm going to forever fight for you and be the best father I can be for you and your brother..I know you love your father too..I wish your mother would be more caring about me seeing you but hopefully if god is in her life like she say he is..then I'll stay positive about it...Father's day is coming and I'll be thinking about you and your brother..So it will be bittersweet for me..I would love to see you that day..So I see in ur pictures that u getting a lil darker..oooh look at you..U starting to look like your brother when he was a baby..But you are so gorgeous..not that I'm surprised..When I see you face to face we have some catching up to do..hopefully not too much..Your big brother asks about you all the time..I wish he could see you too..Just know that I'll forever be your father before any other man..and that I tried and still continue to try and will push to be in your life..I wish that it could've been with your mother but your mother had obvious plans to do other things prior to your arrival and thats what she wanted..Thats fine..I love you..and I miss you and I think about you all the time..Daddy will see you in a minute okay?my lil love bug
Currently listening:
Intro
By Intro
Release date: 1993-04-06
8:45 AM 
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Thursday, May 29, 2008 

Current mood:  sick
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
WELL...ITS OFFICIAL..ITS TIME TO GO..I CAN'T IMAGINE MYSELF BEING HERE MUCH LONGER..FIRST OFF LET ME SAY THANKS TO ALL MY REAL FRIENDS WHO KNOWS ME AND THE MAN THAT I AM..AND TO EVERYONE THATS BEEN DOWN FOR ME SINCE DAY ONE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..RAY IS EXITING THIS SODOM AND GOMORRAH STATE..I NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE BEEN SO DISTRAUGHT,BETRAYED,BAMBOOZLED,SHAMMED,DICCED,LIED ON,LIED TO AND THE LIST GOES ON..ALL WITHIN A YEARS TIME..NOW FOR THOSE WHO READ THE PREVIOUS BLOGS..KNOWS THE STORY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER..WELL HERE IT IS MAY 24,2008 AND I HAVEN'T SEEN MY BABY IN ALMOST 3 MONTHS..SO I'M REALIZING THAT HER MOTHER IS NOT GOING TO LET ME SEE MY BABY..AND RIGHT NOW ITS HARD TO GET HELP WITH THE COURT THING..AND EVERYDAY I WASTE I FEEL LIKE ANOTHER MAN IS TRYING TO TAKE THE PLACE OF ME BEING RAELYNN ELAINE ASHARA SINCLAIR'S FATHER..SO I'M BEING TOLD THAT I DON'T WANNA SEE MY CHILD..THATS FUNNY KNOWING FOR FACT THAT THATS ALL I BEEN DOING IS TRYING TO SEE MY BABYGIRL..I WAKE UP EVERYDAY FEELING SICK LITERALLY KNOWING HOW I BEEN LIED TO AND MISLED..YES AS A COUPLE WE WENT THRU OUR UP'S AND DOWN'S AS DO ALL COUPLE'S BUT YOU DON'T GIVE UP ON UR CHILD'S FATHER WHEN HE DOESN'T GIVE UP ON YOU..OR HAVE MY CHILD, GIVE UP UR HOME,GET ME FIRED FROM MY JOB,BELIEVE A NIGGA THAT I LET IN OUR HOME AND CONFIDED WITH HIM BOUT WAYS TO IMPROVE HIS LIFE FOR GETTING A BITCH..LITTLE DID I KNOW THE GAME I WAS FEEDING HIM HE USED IT TO GET HER..LOL...AND THEN YOU MOVE IN WITH HIM AND BE WITH HIM BUT I CAN'T SEE MY CHILD AND THIS PUSSY FAT ASS NIGGA IS IN MY CHILD'S FACE WHILE HIS PUNK ASS GOT OTHER KIDS HE NEED TO ATTEND TO!!...BUT I SHOULDN'T BE MAD RIGHT??..HOW YOU DO THAT?? SO NOW YOU WANNA POST A BLOG SAYING HOW HAPPY YOU ARE AND HOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON..YEA THAT MAYBE TRUE BUT IN UR CIRCUMSTANCE..YOU MADE AND LOOKED FOR A REASON TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAPPEN THE WAY IT DID..WELL I'M HAPPY FOR YOU THAT U FOUND SOMEONE TO BE DEPENDENT UPON I HOPE YOU GET MARRIED AND HAVE 6 MORE KIDS HONESTLY IF THATS WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY..BUT THE QUESTION REMAINS..WHY CAN'T I SEE MY BABY?? I MEAN REALLY..LOL I WISH HER THE BEST...SHE KNOWS THAT SHE CAN LET ME SEE MY CHILD...AND SHE KNOWS THATS WHAT HURTING ME..AND TO BE HONEST..IT IS...I NEVER PUT MY HAND ON HER OR CHEATED ON HER PREGNANT OR NOT..BUT THATS NEITHER HERE OR THERE ANYMORE..I FEEL MYSELF CHANGING EVERYDAY..SOMETIMES FOR THE WORST, SOMETIMES FOR GOOD..THIS IS DEJ'A VU ALL OVER AGAIN..10 YEARS AGO..LEFT ME HANGING THE SAME WAY..CALLED ME ON THE PHONE AND SAID: RAY I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE..DON'T ASK WHY,NO QUESTIONS ITS JUST OVER...I WAS CRUSHED FOR THE FIRST TIME..2 WEEKS LATER GET WITH ASIAN CAT WIT SOME MONEY BUT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WORSE..I KNOW SHE'LL GET WHAT SHE WANTS OUT THIS PUNK ASS NIGGA..WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT THESE 2 WERE TOGETHER I WAS SHOCKED FOR A MINUTE BUT THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT..HE CAUGHT HER AT HER MOST VULNERABLE TIME..THEN YOU GOT HIS OLD PUNK ASS SIDEKICK THAT I BELIEVED INFLUENCED HER...I'VE DONE MY SORROWING..BUT I KNOW THAT I DON'T DESERVE THIS AND THAT GOD DON'T LIKE UGLY..I NEVER THOUGHT I HAVE A BABY'S MOM WHO WOULD BE SO TRIFLING AND SCANDALOUS TO KEEP ME FROM MY BABY..U COULD HAVE SOMEONE DROP MY CHILD OFF TO ME..SO ITS PRETTY EVIDENT THAT YOU MUST WANT THIS PUNK ASS BITCH{I CAN'T CALL HIM A MAN} TO BE MY DAUGHTER'S FATHER..HOW COULD YOU MISLEAD PEOPLE??..HOW DO YOU GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT?? YOU'RE HURTING ME AND MY DAUGHTER AND YOURSELF..JUST BECAUSE YOU COMFORTABLE AT NIGHT..YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED..ALL THIS PROVES IS THAT YOU NEVER REALLY LOVED ME ANYWAY AND YOU GAVE UP ON OUR FAMILY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMEONE TO DO FOR YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT AWAY WITHOUT SAYIN SHIT..WELL I HOPE HE'S THE ONE FOR YOU...YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL RIGHT NOW FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE..YOU MIGHT AS WELL RIDE THIS ON OUT MRS. MOORE..CUZ ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT GETTING YOUR OWN PLACE OR NOT MOVING IN WITH ANOTHER NIGGA UNTIL YOU'RE MARRIED WAS ALL BULLSHIT..YOU CAN HAVE THAT CUZ I TOLD YOU..I WON'T NEVER LET YOU HURT ME AGAIN LIKE YOU DID BEFORE...WHEN WE GOT BACK TOGETHER..AND I MEANT THAT..AND I KNOW YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND THIS IS YOUR WAY OF TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME..BUT DO WHAT YOU DO..I'M NOT GON SLANDER OR JUDGE YOU..I'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO GOD..AND I FEEL LIKE BY BEING HERE RIGHT NOW...MY MINDSTATE AIN'T RIGHT..AND I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE IN MY LIFE..I'M LOSING MY HEALTH RIGHT NOW CUZ I BEEN TOO STRESSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE ORDEAL..SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO GO BACC TO WHERE I CAN TAKE MY MIND OFF IT..START ANEW AND COME AND FIGHT FOR MY BABY..CUZ I SEE BY ME WAITING AROUND AND SEEING IF WE CAN BE CIVIL ABOUT MY CHILD..ISN'T WORKING..SHE WON'T EVEN LET ME CALL TO SEE HOW MY BABY'S DOING ..AND LEAVE GET MYSELF BACK RIGHT..I HAVE THE SUPPORT OF MY SON'S MOTHER AS LONG AS I DON'T FORGET ABOUT MY SON SHE'S OKAY WITH IT..IT JUST...HURTS..I HATE THAT I HAVE TO GO THRU THIS JUST CUZ U WANT TO BE STUBBORN..I HONESTLY DON'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS PLACE ANYMORE...ALL MY CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAM THAT KNEW ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP..KNOWS DA DEAL..SO I HAVE TO LEAVE CUZ I HAVE SO MUCH ANGER..AND FRUSTRATION TO RELEASE..I JUST THINK THIS IS THE WRONG PLACE TO BE.. AND I DESERVE HAPPINESS..NO ONE SHOULD LIVE LIFE UNHAPPY... I HONESTLY DON'T THINK I COULD'VE DONE ANYTHING TO AVOID THIS SITUATION...SO IN CLOSING..TO MY DAUGHTER'S MOTHER...I CRIED FOR YOU, I LIED FOR YOU, I PRAYED FOR YOU,I STAYED WITH YOU,I LAID WITH YOU,I BATHED WITH YOU, I WAS CRAZY FOR YOU, I ONLY WANTED ANOTHER BABY WITH YOU,I NEVER BETRAYED YOU,I KEPT IT REAL WITH YOU,I WOULD'VE KILLED FOR YOU ONLY TO STACK BILLS WITH YOU..YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING TO ME THAT YOU KNOW THAT ULTIMATELY YOU WRONG FOR DOING AND CONTINUE TO DO..I LOVED YOU AND ONLY YOU.. REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER..U HEARD...IF YOU ARE THAT COLD HEARTED TO KEEP ME FROM MY CHILD TO WHERE SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME..GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL..I HOPE THIS IS HOW LIFE GOES FOR YOU AND WORKS FOR YOU.AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.. I NEEDED YOU TOO AND YOU LEFT ME TO DIE..SO YOU KNOW THAT I COULDN'T EVER SEE MYSELF BEING WITH YOU AGAIN AFTER THIS NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION I'M IN{U MIGHT AS WELL RUN WITH WHAT U GOT}.SO WHAT OTHER WAY TO HURT THAN TO NOT LET ME SEE MY BABY..U CAN'T KEEP USING THAT NO CONTACT ORDER AS AN EXCUSE CUZ U HAD THAT SHIT SINCE U WAS 4 MONTHS PREGNANT..AND SINCE YOU HAD MY DAUGHTER U JUST WANT TO MAKE THIS DIFFICULT THAN IT HAS TO BE..I'M NOT GON SIT HERE AND DEAL WITH THIS TORTURE...TIME WILL REVEAL..AND TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS..AT LEAST CAN I SEE HER FOR FATHER'S DAY??..PROBABLY BULLSHIT WITH ME ABOUT THAT TOO..I EVEN CALL YOU ON MOTHER'S DAY AND THANKED YOU FOR OUR DAUGHTER AND THAT I LOVED YOU AND HOPED THAT YOU WOULD ENJOY UR MOTHER'S DAY ONLY TO GET SHAMMED DAYS LATER BY TELLIN THAT U WOULD LET ME SEE HER..THE DECIET..LIKE I SAID GOD DON'T LIKE UGLY..BUT I WISH YOU THE BEST I'M NOT GON PLAY INTO UR "KILL A MUTHAFUCKA'S SPIRIT GAME"..I WILL OVERCOME THIS AS I HAVE BEFORE BUT ONLY MORE BETTER..LOOK DON'T BE LIKE SOME OF THESE IGNORANT WOMEN AND STOP A MAN FROM BEING A PART OF HIS CHILD'S LIFE WHEN I'M TRYING TO BE...WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE??..MAN I'M OUTTA HERE THIS IS BULLSHIT..U DON'T WANT TO REASON,TALK COMMUNICATE,MEET NONE OF THAT ABOUT ME SEEING MY CHILD..THIS IS BULLSHIT..U SAID U WOULD NEVER KEEP ME FROM MY CHILD..I'M GONE..YOU HAVE A NICE LIFE..CUZ I KNOW I WILL BE DOIN JUST FINE SOON...GOD WANTED ME TO SEE THIS..HE WANTED TO SHOW ME THAT YOU REALLY HAVEN'T CHANGED FROM THE PAST..YOU'RE STILL THE SAME..WAITING ON SOMEONE TO DO FOR YOU...WELL YOU GOT IT AND CONGRATULATIONS ON UR NEWFOUND JOY..I WISH YOU HAPPINESS WHEREVER THAT MAY COME FROM..AND I WILL FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT UNLIKE YOU I WILL TAKE MY TIME THIS TIME AROUND..I TRIED MY BEST TO BE THERE FOR YOU.. I REALLY DID..MY BEST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I NOW KNOW..BUT I HOPE YOU REALIZE ONE DAY..THAT YOU PUSHED UR DAUGHTER'S FATHER AWAY AND I WILL HAVE MY DAY TO WHERE SHE WILL KNOW WHO HER FATHER IS..ITS JUST FUCKED UP THAT U REALLY DOIN THIS..I'M DONE, AND I'M OUT..ATLANTA...GET READY FOR THE RETURN OF RAY MIDNITE A.K.A. DA BACHELOR{DA BABAY!!}
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Here I Stand
By Usher
Release date: 2008-05-27
8:22 AM 
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