CaseyMassacre™- Via Siiiddepuuunnchh. <3

CaseyMassacre™- Via Siiidepunnnchh.

Maybe things are going to get better. Maybe I am not going to be Homeless anymore, and Maybe I wont have to struggle physically for My entire Life. I seem to have found a job that will keep Me, and even though it has only been a few days I love it.

Because I know that this will be what saves Me. I got it at just the right time. After I finally managed to get a new Cellphone and the bill is going to be due, and now that My stay at this Shelter is going to be over.

Shelter????? What  Shelllterrrrr?

I don't even care. Now its time to explain. Ive been Homeless since the DAY I turned 18. THE DAYYYY I turned 18. Ive lived in every type of place you could imagine. Ive been pushed to think some things that I would have NEVER thought had I not been in this situation.

I lost everything. Including hope. The only reason I was homeless was because of My "mom" and her stupid decisions. And her Fucking Legal shit up from when I was a baby. I am out of it, now. Normally people ARE Homeles cause of Drinking and Drugging, but that was NOTTT the case for Me. It was just Freak Accidents and A whole lot of Misfortune.

And most girls would have tried to get by on how they LOOKED. But I didn't. Even though I know I definately COULD have...And I definately never plan on it. And I know I wouldnt ever do it cause I have gotten to the END of My rope and managed not to ever stoop that low.

And I now I have almost paid My way back to the top. And gained Humbleness. Cause I was nowhere near Humble before. I was a Bitch. A Rotten Horrible Bitch. Pretty Soon I will be back into going to shows every night, Partying it Up, Nonstop, Hanging out like a Preeteen although that was 5 years ago..., and having everything I have ever wanted once More.

...Well.. Besides Love.

And this time I wont take it for granted. I was like the Paris Hilton that actually WORKED of her Money, and fame. Then it all got stripped from Me when I found out that legally I didn'y exist and it all went downhill from there.

I lost everything. I was being robbed, sleeping in abandoned cars, and going to bed with a hole in my stomache. And I was doing everything in My power to try to get it all back. (With SemiDignity. No taking off clothes around THESE parts..) I worked and worked and worked to try to get My life back and it seemed as if it would never pay off. 

And up until about a week ago I was a wreck. I was about to work at HOOTERS for Gods Sake...

I am finally beginning to see that when good things happen to Me I definately Deserve it. Because I work hard as youll ever believe for these thins to happen.I always tried to hide the fact that the life I was living was a real struggle.. I never wanted anyone to know that I lived a shit existance. I always tried to fake it and pretend it was all good. I avoided it all by not talking about it.

Now I feel its safe to, because no matter what happens after these next 3 weeks I know that I tried My Hardest and this situation was completely out of My Control. Im starting to realize that I AM worthy of good things happening.

And I love Life.

And I made it.

This is Amazing.

Hey.

 To everyone that's been worried about Me over the Past Two Months:

Thanks. It means alot to Me that people care if I am alive or Dead.

This whole Unfortunate Experience has really been something for Me. But it's helped Me think and figure some stuff out. Find out more about Myself, and Examine Shit. And it's really helped to show Me who My real Friends are.

...and I have to say that majority of you Guys are fake. Especially the ones that claimed to be so Real.  But I could see through you fake ones anyway.And youre the ones that aren't even reading this. 

Sooo...

I just wanted to take time to hop online after a few months, and let everyone know that I'm still alive (even though it's just barely) and tell those of you that have been wondering what's up.

You guys are Fuckin Awesome.

The Tragedy isn't over. But neither is My life. So maybe after a few months things will get better. And I can see some of you guys again.

Love Always,

&hearts; Caseymassacre &trade;

Where I am going there is No Fun. Where I am going there is no laughter. I am going to a Place that I am going to be extremely unhappy and...dark.

I'll miss some of you guys.

Goodbye.

For Now.

So. Yesterday I had a Complete and Utter Enotional Breakdown. I was a Wreck. I just started thinking and Feeling, and it Brought me down in a Way I have never been brought Down Before. Anyway... I have decided that I am moving to Cali as Soon as I Possibly Can. I already asked my mother if I could come and Leave some of my Shit at her house, and she said Yes.

I am packing up the Minimal Amount of things (Im almost Done). I think that there is no point in holding out, and Procrastinating something that was going to happen anyway.. You Know? There are a Few People I'll miss, but Frankly? Noone that I can't Live without.

The Instant my name change is Finalized I am going to go. That should be within the Next Two weeks.

I need a Change of Atmosphere. Its time to do whats best for ME.