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Kei



Last Updated: 12/27/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 22
Sign: Sagittarius

City: Kuala Lumpur
Country: MY
Signup Date: 7/24/2007

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Saturday, October 11, 2008 

Current mood:  fascinated
Hello my friends!

It's been awhile since I update this blog. Well ever since the news saying that Yoshiki is sick, there hasn't been any news related to X Japan, well excluding Toshi's with T-EARTH Project.

I'm sure you guys know that a month ago, X Japan announce their world tour at several places. And OMG one of them is Bangkok, Thailand! That's just above Malaysia!!

However, I can't go because it's my exam season on that day. I know that the X Freaks from Malaysia is going to Bangkok 'cause it's cheaper... But... I'll just have to go Taiwan instead...

AND SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY WITH X JAPAN!!

That'll be so awesome. If I could save enough money in time for this.

Let's hope for the best!


Love,

KEI
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 

Current mood:  worried

Dear Yoshiki,

I had heard news, well actually rumours on the world tour being postponed due to your health condition. When I first hear it, even though they said it's a rumour, but still I feel so worried. We all know about your health condition...

It is said that it is so serious until you can't board on the airplane... ><

And now... I saw this news... in my local newspaper. omg

This must be really serious. Please get well soon... ><

The news report said that the doctors had asked you to wear the neck protector on those 3 nights, but you insisted that you wanted to give the fans a perfect live, so you refused to wear it. Oh... For us... I love you so much. T_T

I feel so selfish for asking why there aren't any lives in South East Asia or wherever. I just want to see a healthy Yoshiki!! I just wanna see you alright!!

Get well soon... T_T Love you lots.

More love than ever,

KEI

Thursday, May 29, 2008 

Current mood:  talkative

I've been feeling abit confused these days. And I have no idea how to tell someone about it. When I wake up today I had alot of things going through my mind, and I have no idea what happened. So here I am, expressing it on my blog. It's quite long so if you're not interested you can just come back some other day. lol

Erm... How should I start this.

So some of you might know, my past relationships is a disaster. Such as my first boyfriend, who was shorter than me. That's not the main problem but the problem is... He...I'm not sure if he loves me too much or what, but he couldn't stand seeing me out of his SIDE(not sight). Like in class, my seat was beside him. Then when there's no teacher or whenever I feel like talking to my friends, I walk over to them, sit down and start talking, just having fun. But when I came back to my seat... He was so terrifyingly quiet and he wouldn't talk to me. Later then I kept quiet and he went somewhere with his bestfriend. Guess what he did while he was away?

Punching the walls. Hurting himself.

I don't understand why the hell he did this and I endured. Heck anyway, he was really scary and I couldn't stand him later. My freedom, my rights, all controlled by him. And he was damn selfish. So I asked to break up. Didn't even lasted one year but it's the first and longest relationship I've been in.

The next one was actually a really amusing guy. He's taller than me, that's good. lol. I swore never to find another short bf again because of that. Anyway he's really nice and all, but the problem is... he's really.... The was he dresses up is really... not nice. And he didn't kept his promises. BUT. This is not his fault. It's mine. If I love someone I have to accept all of his bad things right? But I didn't gave him more chances to prove that he can change for me. I'm bad. Yes.

The last one is... haha. This relationship made me combine all the bad experience I had in relationships and turned them into a big nightmare that haunts me till now. I thought he was the best one... I thought he was... I'm not sure what he's thinking, but he said it's best we become friends. No matter what reasons he gave, I didn't even believed it. All I have in my head is, I'm not good enough for him, that's why he got bored etc. I was seriously heartbrokened for months. I couldn't forget what happened that day. Whenever I think about it I feel so stupid and I felt this huge pain in me, even though I've calm down now.

During those days I've often been out away from home and wandering around shopping centres, alone, which I later enjoyed it. I feel so relaxed. Nothing can stop me from going wherever I want. I go here when I want to, I go there when I want to and no one telling me that where they wanna go. Ahh...The freedom. I've been thinking... What is wrong? Why is all of this happening?Am I, perhaps, still too young for this? Am I not ready for this? Or perhaps I'm actually not suitable to be in a relationship? I hurt people, and he hurt me. Why am I suffering all these and why should they suffer too?

So after a few months, I had decided.

I never wanna be in a relationship, for now at least. 'Cause I wanna get married and have 2 kids in the future. lol

Why do I wanna be so stupid, restricting myself from my freedom, while I can have all the freedom I want when I'm single? Hey, I'm half Sagittarius and Sagittarius LOVES freedom. Last time I didn't agree to that, but my friend told me that "Being single isn't bad". That time I just broke up with my ex I was desperate. I want love. Thus my friend told me that. I couldn't agree more now.

I noticed that my problem is... That I fall for someone too easily. Like whenever some one treat me nicely, I might fall for him. The last one wasn't though. I'm a weird person. That's why I still stand to my statement, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship.

Even if I might fall for someone now, I cannot be sure of it. As if I'm not sure whether I'm actually really liking this person, or I just like him due to some rush. I don't know. I'm confused. The thing I know I changed alot from last time is, I don't rush now. 'Cause I'm afraid I'll hurt that guy...and also myself. I will not say it myself that I miss or love someone 'cause the more I say it the more I will fall. And sweet talks... I don't trust those anymore, ever since that incident. It's hard for me to believe anymore. Even if I want to believe, there's a part of me that holds me back, preventing me from falling into it...So I don't know how to respond to them, or I choose not to. I don't talk sweet talks either. I used to... but now as I look back I feel so stupid and I never wanna do that again. It's hard. Until I'm in a "confirmed" relationship. It's really hard for me to say anything, as now I'm controling myself from being that old me years ago.

I'm not sure what love is, and what I should do when I'm in love. I can't remember. I threw them all behind. Or should I say I think that it was actually I would rather not remember them. I'm actually really tired. I tried my best in a relationship and what do I get? Failing. I'm scared. I even planned to not be in any relationships until I graduate, just as my parents wanted. That's great isn't it? I can concentrate in my studies, then be free! Then finally find a boyfriend, date, and get married. How simple can life be?

But life ain't simple, which sucks.

Even though sometimes I read girl comics(ahem for those who don't know, I'm a comic freak) and I got this feeling like "Aww... That's so sweet..." I wanted those too BUT a part of me says "Bah who needs that.". And when I saw people being sad from relationships(fights, etc), I will feel happy, not because of them fighting, but I'm happy that I don't have to go through that. It hurts and I hate it. Well of course nobody likes it but they HAVE TO go through that, I don't, since I'm alone.

Even till now, I don't think I'm ready yet.

So for you, please give me sometime so I can figure out what is up with me. It might be long though, like years. I'm scared of several things.... History being replayed, being hurt, or hurting. I will have this thought... What if you're just like him? What if I hurt you? What if.... There's so many what if's in my mind that stops me from doing the wrong things, well, not exactly wrong things but yeah, you know what I mean.

Even though I've told you this but... I still want to tell you that I'm still very confused and I hope you'll understand. You're very sweet, very nice but... I need more time. And I don't want to hurt anyone.

Seriously sometimes when you talk I will feel like... erm... those anime characters. "Kyuu~n" then their faces go red whenever like their heart got captured or something like that. lol. I don't know how to say this but anyway, whenever I have that feeling I will try not to fall in. Like you might notice, I tried to control. It's just that, I don't want to break my policy of not accepting and falling for someone so easily. IF I break that, then I'll be the same me from years ago, and I don't want that. I'll be so fucking disappointed with myself if that happens. Yes that's how serious I think it is.

Congratulate me! I grown up abit! =D

lol Anyway, that's all I have to say. For now. For those who read all of what I said, thank you. =3

Man I suddenly remembered why I love blogging last time. <3

Love,

KEI

 

**UPDATE**
Just now when I was in the bus on the way to school, the bus stopped at the traffic light. And then while I was just looking outside the window staring at nothing, there was a loud thunder and lightning shot just a few steps away from where I am, outside my window. It was like something exploded, the sparks and the orange explosive color thingy. lol. I was so stunned that I called Kame and told him about my bus nearly being shot by lightning. Then later when I reached school I told my friends about it too. XD I nearly died! =D LOL. No idea why I keep on laughing about this, must be the shock that made me go crazy. LOL

Thank god I'm still here. =3

P/S: Like the last post, this exact same post is posted in my blogdrive.

P/P/S: hablador/a!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 

Current mood:  pure

For those who don't know... I'm back in Advance Diploma. Of course's it's the same subject - Information Systems Engineering. =D

It's been like... more than 6 months that I'm away from college, ever since that exam that I passed. =3 Everything changed alot... including the environment and most importantly the food in the canteen. But... Canteen 1 still sucks. The food is freakin' horrible!! Like the economic rice... They are all so stingy they gave us just abit of food. lol And my classmates... Am I the only one that hasn't actually grown up? They look matured while I'm still here with my strawberry pencil case and strawberry cover note pad.

Anyway, one of the subjects I've been looking forward to is Liberal Arts, which is, I heard from my friends, that it'll teach about something like Psychology. I was really looking forward for this subject. They told it'll interesting, but it's quite hard. Quite alot of people failed this subject. So ok, I'm gonna give it a try.

It's a 8am class today, so I stepped into class, hoping to know more about this subject. But when I heard what the lecturer said, my jaws dropped and I was stunned. 'Cause she said....

That we're gonna learn music.......instead of Psychology.

I was like OMFG WHAT THE HELL? I couldn't believe my ears, and eyes, as I was looking at the outline, all of them are music related topics, such as history of music... and introduction to the instruments.

And we're required to go to KLCC to see one of the ochestra performances there. I chose the piano concerto...without thinking. My friends had no choice but to follow. >=D I'm bad. But I really wanna see the piano concerto! <3 And it's only RM10.... for a RM60 seat! I HAVE TO GO!! XD

This class is the best class I ever had in my college life! For the first time in my life I never wanted the class to end! I was actually laughing like crazy in the class... MAN WE SANG IN THE CLASS!! THE WHOLE LECTURE CLASS!!

That's so freakin' awesome. <3

Love,

KEI

P/S: I updated the same post at my blogdrive... Yes... it's back again. =D And this stupid page is still in spanish! Choosing my mood again.... Puro/a!

Sunday, May 25, 2008 

Current mood:  sore

I wrote this blog yesterday but my pc shut down itself and I didn't have any backup so... Bye post. I have to retype them again. =(

Right... I don't get this myspace page. Everytime I come into "Post A New Blog" it automatically changes into Spanish..? I'm not sure... Gracias is in spanish right? >_> So I change it back to english, but whenever I came back to this same page it changes back to spanish again. Fine! I give up.

So I went to Malacca last Friday... almost 2 hour away from my place I think. My friend suggested this trip, since we're going to start class next Monday, we might not have time to have fun. My dad wouldn't allow me at first, 'cause it's too far. But after a long persuasion, he finally agreed to let me go. I was so happy 'cause it's been awhile since I go out with them. I usually refused to go ever since Calvius made me mad last time(call me a drama queen will yah? Don't need me in this forum huh? =_=), but now I don't even care. So yeah let's go have fun!

My dad even volunteer to help me buy the bus tickets, so that we won't miss the bus back and forced to stay there. Oh yeah... I told my dad that 3 girls, including me and 2 boys. But actually there's only 2 girl going. And later it was changed into 4 boy and me, the only girl. Well most of my friends are boys so I don't really care. My dad will kill me if he knew though. XD

It's a 8am bus so we said to meet at the LRT station at 7am. We need only like...30 minutes to reach the bus station so it should be enough time. And I told them to REACH at 7am, not 7:15am.

I reached at 7:05am though. When I reached there, I only saw Eric(one of the guys). Seeing that the other 3 guys were missing, I called Kyin.

Me: "Hello?"
Kyin: "Hello?"
Me: "Where are you?"
Kyin: "Just left the house."
Me: "WHAT?! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS NOW?"
Kyin: "Hehehe. Alvy just woke up."
Me: "WHAT?! ALVY JUST WOKE UP?! YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE CATCHING A 8AM BUS RIGHT??!! DIDN'T CALVIUS WAKE HIM UP?!!"
Kyin: "I don't know..."
Me: "BE QUICK!!"
Kyin: "Ok."

WTF. Alvy and Calvius lives like 15 minutes away from the LRT station. So after I called Kyin, I called Calvius.

Me: "Hello?"
Calvius: "Hello?"
Me: "Where are you?"
Calvius: "Waiting for Alvy to prepare."
Me: "Can't you guys be quick?! It's a 8am bus we can't make it in time!! How are you guys coming?"
Calvius: "Bus."
Me: "WHAT?!"
Calvius: "Or maybe taxi. We're be there soon."
Me: "FINE."

I nearly died. Eric and I were so frustrated. He could say anything 'cause he's not really friends with Calvius and Alvy, BUT I'M FRICKIN' MAD.

7:20am. Called Kyin again 'cause HE'S NOT HERE YET. Eric decides to leave without them. So well, ok. He can go first, better than staying here doing nothing but wait. Kyin arrives and asked me to go along with Eric. So ok, we left.

7:35am. Called Kyin on the train. They haven't arrive yet. =_=

7:45am. We reached the other train station. called Kyin yet again. They just went aboard the LRT. =_=

7:50am. We reach the bus station. Went to the counter to ask where the bus is. That guy told us it was infront of the station. So we went to the entrance and saw the bus at the opposite of the road.

We crossed the road and saw the same company bus, with the same destination heading. So we waited... The only weird thing was there's no one on the bus. Even the driver's missing. But there's one other girl that was waiting before we reach there. Ok, we wait............until some taxi driver told us that the bus we were waiting for left just a few minutes ago at the SIDE of the road, not the place that information counter told us.

WE MISSED THE DAMN BUS.

Annoyed. I called Kyin again. And asked them to meet us at the KFC near the bus.

After they reached. THEY DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGISE. Which made me still damn angry until now.

Eric told me not to talk 'cause I told him that I'm afraid I'll scold the hell out of them. I feel like punching their faces even. AND they didn't even fucking apologise.

FINE. Throwing all these aside, we went on the frickin' 9am bus. And reached there in less than 2 hours.

Malacca is such a facinating place, with all the historical buildings around. When I touched the old buildings I was like... Wow...I'm touching the history. I took a picture of it too. XD Oh yeah there's this building with some carved stoned walls on the side and one of them was a heart with wings. I never knew that cute things existed in the past. It's so cute!! <3

Oh yeah there's many tourist from China and when I heard them talking I thought of Yomi-kun and I keep on laughing to myself. XD Yomi was really great at imitating, and I thought I was great. =X

We went on the tower thingy... That goes up high to the air and then spins in a slow speed so that we can see the whole city. When it goes up I squealed 'cause it was so sudden and I'm actually afraid of these ever since I went on the sky shooter ride at Genting Highland. Heck I'm even afraid of lifts. But it was fun, I mean the tower thingy. <3

Then we went to eat Chicken Rice Balls! Yes rice balls! The chicken rice are in the shape of ping pong balls and it's so enjoyable to eat it. But the 4 guys are not interested on it at all. Sigh. Later then we ate Cendol Ice Kacang. <3 And went to some shopping centres. The clothes there are really nice compared to KL, which are mostly horrible bad kids clothings. But there are some decent clothes too... expensive ones. =( Well I seldom shop so I don't really care. lol

Before going back to the bus station I got myself a drink... Watermelon Juice! I actually wanted Honeydew - my favourite, but the weather was SUPER HOT. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the weather. IT WAS DAMN BURNING HOT. Luckily I brought umbrella. =3 Yeah so I chose watermelon. <3

And then we went home. THE END~

That's all. lol It was overall a very fun trip, of course except the fact that they were late. And they didn't apologise.

Yes I'm a very mean person. I forgive and forget immediately after an apology though. lol

I'm gonna get something cold to drink now. Bye all! <3

Love,

KEI

P/S: Class starts next Monday! Nervous. ><

P/P/S: Should I start blogging on blogdrive? I mean, I could just copy and paste whatever I have here and modify some details. One of my friend told me myspace blog ain't so good 'cause he couldn't leave comments. lol

P/P/P/S: << Does it go like this? lol. Anyway this page is still in spanish so I'll choose whatever word that I see attracts me and it'll be my mood for this post. Then later changing it back to english. Hmm DOLORIDO/A! What's that? lol

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 

Current mood:  cheerful

Guess what? I'm eating the sushi I bought yesterday. I was too full to eat it yesterday so I thought I will have the time to eat it LATER as a snack but I forgot. So... yeah... it's expired... But it still tasted fine! <3

Going to KLCC later! I MUST HAVE THOSE 2 BOOKS!! But... what if  SHOCKWAVE released? It'll have the reports on the 3 Day Live! X_X NO!!!!!!!!

Will update more later at night when I come back. X_X

Love,

KEI

P/S: I'm going on a one day trip with my friends on Friday! It's been awhile since we hang out. =3

**UPDATE**!!
I bought it!! I'm happy person!! =D <3

But I'm broke. =(

P/P/S: Bought a ice-blended drink call "Pink Lemonade". Guess why I bought it? =D And I got blisters from walking in high heels! Way to go Kei. +_+

Monday, May 19, 2008 

Current mood:  blessed

Finally went to the dinner! Reiko was really beautiful and elegant! I had a great time... and the food.... Hahaha!! 

Ivy(whose name is actually Ivan but we call him that) came to fetch me and my sis first, then Aira next. Ivy changed his car, and it's really spacious which make me feel really unconfortable 'cause I'm used to small cars. And the seat is too low. My sis told me I look ridiculous. lol

Overall it was a great dinner. They gave us wedding pictures as a sovenier. There are 5 different pictures but guess what? I took one of each! Hahahah!! We're actually only suppose to take only ONE.... but I don't care! It's my first friend that got married! I want them all!! And Qi called from Japan! It's been like.... half a year since I heard her voice. Missed her so much. <3

Oh yes... there was this weird woman that wore modern clothes(tank top or something like that) and tied her hair up like Death Note's MISA!! O_O And she belly dances!! O_O!!! AND SHE SINGS!!! All of us were like laughing like mad.

The food is nice too... Ahhh I should have eaten more!!

We stayed there till almost 1 am and went home, chatting with the bride. <3

Oh yeah and this is the first time I ever saw someone get drunk. Reiko's dad. He was so happy he tells the world that he's happy. And he thanked all of us to come and ask for handshakes. It kinda creeped me out 'cause he smiles at me and I don't know what to do. I just smiled back. =D

Went to Muar the next day, to see my grandma. I slept at 3am and woke up on 5:30am. Then I have no idea why, but I couldn't sleep in the car. Usually I can but today... I was so angry and tired I nearly shouted at my dad 'cause he talks so loud. I got no sleep at all until I reached there and slept for 1 hour. =_=

My grandma.... She's getting skinnier day by day. =( But her eyes... still looks so lively. Just that she's skinny.... All she have left is the skin and bones... No flesh. =( You can clearly see the veins. Sigh. I heard that she couldn't stand up, all she can do is lay on the bed BUT suprisingly while everyone was outside, she woke up herself and walked out. o.o

We just stayed for a few hours, then we have to rush back to our place. =( I wanna stay longer!

Anyway on the way back, I ate a whole box of Mentos Cool Chews Orange Flavor and my teeth hurts now. =( Damn orange flavor seducive candies.

Oh yeah I went to my new house just now! I was planning to draw something on the wall... Maybe a rose... Or piano keys with some notes on the side... lol That'll be so awesome. But what if it turned out horrible? =( Hope not... Hahaha!

Love,

KEI

Saturday, May 17, 2008 

Current mood:  bouncy

Let's see...

Oh yes! I was in LegacyRO's forum browsing a topic called "Let's draw unicorns". There's so many funny unicorns in there. XD I drew one too but no one reply any comments about that picture and that topic died. =( BUT there's someone that left a youtube link, which led me to Charlie the Unicorn! LOL that that unicorn. It was the most hillarious video I saw ever. Lame and stupid, but it cracks me up. XD Youtube "Charlie the Unicorn" if you wanna see them. lol

My sis even put it in her cellphone. o.o I would too if my phone isn't out of space. XD

Recently I chatted with a Malaysian X Freak on MSN, he's really nice AND talented. He plays Forever Love! <3 And alot of other songs. And his birthday... is same with Yoshiki's. o.o That's like so cool. o.o Mine is 2 days later. lol. When I heard him play the piano, I feel so touched. >< It's so beautiful... much better than some of the people I saw playing piano on youtube. We chatted alot of things and our interests are quite similiar(Milo Ais <3). He's in NZ studying and he told me alot about NZ stuffs. XD It was so interesting!

OH YES AND THERE'S ONE THING I NEED TO SAY, I MEAN, RANT ABOUT.

Days ago someone added me on MSN, I didn't know who he was, so I said hi and ask who the heck is he. He answered me "japan". So, ok. Japanese. I get it. So then we chatted awhile, and it was normal AT FIRST. We even chatted in japanese. But later then he start to talk about something I don't understand. I told him I didn't understand him and guess what he said?

"Sorry I'm m*****bating now."

Like WTF.

And he's like 19.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORST?

HE WANTS ME TO SEE IT. HIM DOING IT.

^(@&$^*&)!*!?!!!!

And he fucking sent me a video of him doing it in the sharing folder, which I sent to Kyin and ask him check what is that. LOL Lucky I didn't open it. IF I DID. I WILL X_X DIE.

Then I blocked and deleted him.

End of story.

I going to my friend's wedding dinner tomorrow! Yay! <3

Love,

KEI

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 

Current mood:  enlightened

I finally got the offer! <3

My class starts on 26th May - TAKURO from GLAY's birthday. lol I'm so excited! It's been like a year I stopped class. It's all JAVA(the subject I failed)'s fault. =( I will be so busy, AND I won't have to look for excuses to go for piano classes anymore. XP I will also have some pocket money, which will be of course, not enough 'cause they include my piano lesson fees, food and perhaps mangas... Maybe not including the mangas but I'll be so lonely without new mangas! =(

There's so many mangas that I haven't complete buying yet, Tsubasa Chronicles, Pokemon(special edition <3), Hana Kimi, and the other such as BLEACH and Fullmetal Alchemist that haven't release yet. There's more just that I'm lazy to list them all out. I love my mangas. <3 They are all my treasures.

Such as my X Japan cover magazines. They are all so expensive! X_X But next week...!! I don't care...!! I WILL buy those 2 books and be broke! Who cares!! They are a MUST HAVE!! I will be a happy person!!!..... Until the next magazines or DVD or any other merchandises release. =(

The japanese youtube user - so-called X Japan fan had messaged me on youtube and scolded me. 'Cause I've been leaving bad comments at his video. Well what I said is true! Tibet issue had nothing to do with Yoshiki AND he added a new video, titled "Finally THIS MAN JOINED X JAPAN!!" which is so lame. He just editted a picture of a man together with X Japan. Ha-ha. That's very funny. Not. 
Some other user "ehhh?" and I replied him asking him to "ignore him coz he(the jap user)'s weird". I got 2 thumbsdown. XD He messaged me and scolded me. I wanted to reply but he blocked incoming messages. Too bad. =(

Hmm what else to say... Oh yeah I'm going to attend my friend's wedding dinner this Sunday! <3 I can't wait! She will look gorgeous! <3 Even with that son in her tummy. lol XD I wanna be the godmother together with all 3 best friends! And the food!! I love wedding dinners. Gonna gain more weight. lol

Sheesh the hot weather. It was raining a few hours ago.... I want something cold to drink!

Love,

KEI

Sunday, May 11, 2008 

Current mood:  loved

Roughly translated by me. @_@ Hope this all make sense. lol The original message is at below.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


May 3rd, 4th.... Thank you for the people who came to the summit. And also, people who couldn't come but supported us..... thank you.

I just came back from hide's grave.... I actually wanted to go there yesterday but.... my muscle hurts so I can't move(bitter smile).

The last few times I went there, I will always bring along a champagne or wine... Placing a glass infront of hide's grave, also pouring the wine to his glass, and then cheers with him....(well, the pourtion from hide's glass never decreases).... Talking with hide and drinking all the wine alone.... Sometimes when I look around, seeing other people from afar who are visiting graves.....
"Hmm.. They will surely think I'm weird..." I thought but in the end I will still stay there until sunset....

Well this time, because the fact is there's many things to prepare like the Tokyo Dome from the beginning of this year.... So after that I seldom drink alcohol, because I will get drunk just by drinking abit of it...... And to train my body strength, I also tried to not eat sweet things.....

To reward myself after the end of the summit, I bought cake/cream puffs as many as a mountain for me and hide.....
That cream puff is soooooo tasty..... If I went to hide's place yesterday it's ok.... This morning I noticed that it's all gone! Hmm, I think there's about ten of it.... Then I noticed me myself alone ate them all up(smile).

Yesterday was muscle pain.... Today is feeling sick because eating too much cream puffs, so I lay down at morning.

I was like this since I was a kid, I can't stop when eating things like chocolates.

I mentioned last time....
When I was young, my aunt went vacation at Hawaii, and bought macadamia nut chocolates for all the relatives.....
She came to our house first.... and I discovered the piled up chocolates that are in the kitchen....
Later then my mum found the fainted, covered with chocolate Yoshiki.... She called the ambulance and saved my life(smile).

After that incident, I was forbid to eat chocolates, until my dad passed away..... 

Today while laying at the bed, I was thinking "In the end I haven't change at all right?!" things like that....

In the end, I was 3 hours late from the fixed time on 7am..... Yup, bringing along the strawberry cake that I haven't touched..... and meeting hide's parents....

And the visiting successfully ended.

After that I went to eat ramen with the staff. Ahh~ Japanese food really taste good.....

Changing the topic..... It's amazing, just like how I felt towards my dad, for me no matter how long it passed hide is older than me.

Well, I told hide's parents about that too...... But still.....

I think everyone will think so too, last time I strongly didn't thought that X Japan would actually return....

During Tokyo Dome too - During yesterday's summit too, together with X JAPAN's members and LUNA SEA's member standing on the stage.....

"Is this really happening in the real world?" I thought, it felt so amazing.

From the starting of X JAPAN's return.....I really felt that I will die with no regrets when I'm doing this..... Or should I say, for me, I was betting my life on every stage performances..... Oh yeah, even though the Taiwan Live was already set, there will be a exciting and troubled feeling whenever a new concert is confirmed...... "Can we really have so many lives?" something like this.
However at these busy times, the concert at Korea can be confirmed soon!.....And even though it's kinda awkward, during the summit, we mentioned about the possibility of having another concert at Japan, immediately there's many enquiry mails flooding in Yoshiki Mobile, since it's already like this we cannot not do it. And we hope to get suggestions on where to do the lives.

I got another movie soundtrack offer, and hope to finish recording Violet UK's first album....... 

This morning I wrote a new X JAPAN song..... I didn't planned to write another new song, but the melody is playing in my head so I started to write it down..... Since I didn't ate too much cream puffs again, and didn't feel sick..... It should be done(smile).

Well, even though alot of things happened everytime when I least expected it, but I will always move forward..... Because of everyone, I'm in the musical world I love, standing on the stage...... It's kinda hard to express it with words..... Tokyo Dome 3 Days and the Summit I could feel it.... My fans, and also X JAPAN's fans are all really awesome, really great. Even though me myself still can't make it..... But I will still work hard facing my aim..... Our fans are the world's best fans. Until now I went to many different overseas and local concerts, but there's no greater fan than X JAPAN's. Even though I love to suprise everyone..... or make people angry or making people laugh...... But I never will I try to do things that make everyone sad...... This time I told hide about these.

Even though I don't know when we can continue on until, even though I don't know when will this end......Even so I hope that everyone can know that these feelings of mine will never change.

Oh yeah, hide will follow us overseas too, and also hide's parents will all come along........

How will these turn out to be even myself doesn't know that...... I will work extra hard to return all your loves in double! No matter for the fans to came for the summit, or the bands who participated....... Yeah, everyone had to rearrange their very busy schedules...... Like Dir en grey who managed to give out abit of time during their tour and came to Tokyo..... DJ OZMA too, have to rearrange all those dancer's schedule for us..... LUNA SEA had reunited to perform for us again ever since their reunion concert at the end of last year..... There's other bands who couldn't participate because of their schedule problem.... Worked hard to rearrange the schedule for us...... With those feelings I'm already happy. And hide's brother Hiroshi, because of this thing he had lost 25kg..... He named it "X JAPAN Diet" (smile)...... But they all really worked hard.

Even though many things happened in the pass, but because all these friends and fans, I can onces again see my perfect dream...... Thank you everyone in every ways....... Thank you so much. And also please look after our lovely hide!

 

LOVE

YOSHIKI

 

PS. After the summit, I went out to drink with the members who performed......
Yeah, it's been awhile since I drink with LUNA SEA's RYUICHI and INORAN. One thing I remembered most is RYUICHI who said "YOSHIKI-san, I haven't drink alcohol for such a long time" while drinking alot of Dom Perignon champagne.

Ah, and I still can't forget LUNA SEA's SHINYA's reaction on the stage......
And I still can't stop laughing..... If I don't do something I'll be laughing out loud in the airplane..... Ahhh, what to do! (laugh)

 

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2008-05-06 メッセージ

5月3日、4日……来てくれたみんな本当にありがとう。
又、来れなかったけど応援してくれた人达にも……ありがとう。

今hideのお墓参りから帰ってきたところ……本当は昨日行くつもりだったけど……筋肉痛で歩けなくて(苦笑)。

前に何度か行った时には、シャンパンとかワインを持っていったんだけど……hideのお墓の前にグラスを置いてhideにも注いで乾杯して饮んでたら……(まあ、hideのグラスは减らないから)……一人でhideに话しかけながらボトルをほぼ全部饮んじゃって……ふと周りを见渡したら、违うところにお墓参りしている人达もいて……
"うーん、きっと俺変な人だと思われてる"と思いながらも结局、日が暮れるまでいたんだけど……

今回は、うーん本当に今年に入ってから东京ドームとかいろいろあったので……その后もほとんどお酒を饮んでなくて、少し饮んだだけで酔っちゃうから……。
それに体力作りとかもあって、甘いものを控えてたから……

サミットが终わって自分へのご褒美も兼ねて、hideの分と自分の分とでケーキやシュークリームを山ほど买ってきたんだけど……
そのシュークリームが无茶苦茶美味しくて……昨日hideの所に行けばまだ大丈夫だったんだけど……
今朝になったら全部なくなってた!うーん、十数个あったと思うんだけど……気がついたら全部一人で食べちゃった(笑)。

昨日は筋肉痛……今日はそのせいで気持ち悪くなっちゃって、朝はしばらく横になってた。

子供の时からなんだけど、チョコレートとかそういうのを食べだすと止まらなくなっちゃうんだよね。

前にもしゃべった事があるけど……
まだ自分が本当に小さい时、おばあちゃんがハワイに旅行に行って、亲戚全员にマカダミアナッツ入りのチョコレートを买ってきて……
最初に仆の実家に寄ったんだけど……その晩台所に山积みされているそのチョコを俺が见つけちゃって……
しばらくしたらチョコまみれで倒れているYOSHIKIを母亲が発见……救急车で运ばれて一命をとりとめた(笑)。 

その后は、父亲が亡くなるまではチョコ禁止令が自分に出されてて……

今朝ベッドの上で倒れてる时に"结局何にも変わってないじゃん!?"みたいに思ってて……。

结局朝7时に出発するはずの予定が约3时间ずれて……そう、まだ手をつけてないイチゴのケーキを持って出発……hideの両亲にも合流して……

お墓参りを无事终了。

その后スタッフとラーメンを食べて帰ってきた。
ああ、本当に日本は食べ物が美味しい……。

话は変わるけど……不思议だよね、父亲に対してもそうなんだけど、自分の中ではいつまで経ってもhideの方が自分より年上なんだよね。

まあ、そんなことをhideの両亲とも喋ってたんだけど……それにしてもさ……

みんなもそう思ってたと思うけど、自分だって绝対にX JAPANが复活するなんて思ってなかったから……

东京ドームの时もそうだけど一昨日のサミットでX JAPANのメンバーやLUNA SEAのメンバーとステージに立っている时に……

 "これって本当に现実の世界で起こっているの?"って思うぐらい、不思议な感じがした。

今回のX JAPANは、复活の时からだけど……本当にいつ终わってもいいと思ってやっている……っていうか、自分としては毎回のステージを命がけでやっているし……。そうだね、台湾での公演が决まったけど、新しいコンサートが决まる度に、嬉しさと同じくらい不安な気持ちもあって……"本当に、そんなに何本も出来るのかな?"みたいな。
そうこうしているうちに韩国でのコンサートも决まりそう!……言ってることが矛盾してるんだけど、一昨日のサミットでこの先日本での公演の可能性をちょっとしゃべったら、YOSHIKI Mobileに问い合わせが杀到しちゃって、もうこうなったらやるしかないよね。逆にどこでやってほしいかみんなにも意见を闻いてみようかな。

また新しい映画音楽のオファーもきてるし、Violet UKのファーストアルバムもなんとか仕上げたいし……。

今朝X JAPANのまた新しい曲のサビが出来ちゃって……别に新曲を作るつもりじゃなかったんだけど、头の中でなり始めたから谱面に书き始めて……シュークリームを食べ过ぎてなかったら、気持ち悪くなってなかったら……きっと完成してたかも(笑)。

まあ、いつもの事だけど相変わらずいろんなことがいっぱい起こってて、なんだかわかんないまま、でも全力で突っ走っている自分がいて……でもみんなのおかげで大好きな音楽の世界にいれて、ステージにも立てて……なんかうまく言叶で表现できないんだけど……东京ドーム3Daysでもサミットでも感じたんだけど……自分は、そしてX JAPANは本当に素晴らしい、本当に素敌なファンを持っていると思った。自分自身はまだ全然だめだけど……でもそこに向かって顽张ってるけど……俺达のファンは绝対に世界一のファンだと思う。自分でも今まで海外も含めていろんなコンサートに行ったけど、绝対にX JAPANファンほど素敌なファンはいない。そんなみんなを惊かしたりするのは好きだけど……ちょっと怒らせちゃったり笑わせちゃったり……でも悲しませるような事はしたくない……。今回はhideとそんな事を话してきた。

どこまで続くかは分からないけど、いつ终わるか分からないけど……例えそうなってもその気持ちに変わりがないことだけはみんなに分かってほしい。

そうだね海外にはhideも连れて行くし、hideの両亲も全部来るって……。

今后何がどういう风に展开していくのか自分でもわかんないけど……みんなからもらった爱を何倍にもして返すつもりで全力で顽张るよ!サミットに来てくれたファンの人达もそうだけど、出演してくれたバンドのみんなにも……うん、みんなもの凄く忙しいスケジュールの中で本当に无理して调整してくれて……Dir en greyだって地方をツアー中なのにその数时间だけを明けて强引に东京に来てくれて……DJ OZMAだって、あれだけの数のダンサーのスケジュールまで调整してくれて……LUNA SEAに至っては去年の年末にあった一夜限りの再结成をもう一回やってくれて……他にもどうしてもスケジュールの関系で出れないバンドもいたんだけど……スケジュール调整の努力をしてくれた……その気持ちだけでも嬉しかった。それにhideの弟の裕士は、今回の事で25kg痩せたって……名づけて"X JAPANダイエット"だって(笑)……でも良く顽张ったね。

いろんなことはあったけどこういった友达やファンの人达のおかげで、自分も素晴らしい梦をもう一度见ることができて……いろんな意味でみんなに感谢しています……本当にどうもありがとう。そしてこれからも亲爱なるhideをヨロシクね!


LOVE 

YOSHIKI


PS.一昨日のコンサートのあと、出演メンバーのみんなと饮みにいったんだけど……
うん、久しぶりにLUNA SEAのRYUICHIとかINORANとかと饮んで"YOSHIKIさん、最近仆全然お酒饮まないんですよ"って言いながらドンペリをガンガン饮んでたRYUICHIがとても印象的だった。

あっ、それにステージ上でのLUNA SEAの真矢のリアクションを未だに思いだしちゃって……
未だに笑いが止まらない……何とかしないと飞行机の中でも一人で大笑いしちゃいそ-……ああ、どうしょう!(大笑)

 

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YOSHIKI LOVE! <3 I love his messages! It always make me smile. <3

I hope you all enjoyed his message too!

Love,

KEI

P/S: Happy Mother's Day!