hello everyone...

right now its almost 7... i have some hw i could be doing but im not in the mood at all for it... so im gonna wait... got my first test tomorrow... calculus mid term... all shit ive already done in kp's so no big thang there...

this is called "college and the obvious" for a reason. this is about college... and its obvious... my friends all know that its especially obvious.

this has been rough... and not just for me. its been rough and we all know it. none of us like it i think... as much as maybe we want to move on (i finally get to study philosophy for real and i fucking love it) we definitely dont wanna move on in a different sense.

ive had a really rough time here at penn so far. ill be honest... ive been telling people its "eh.. okay" for too long... it really isnt so great... not terrible (i love my classes... like a lot)... but i have no one here but my roommate... and hes awesome though so thats cool. I have joe and jon now and that has made this week sooooo much better so far compared to before but its still not that same and we all know that... i know im harping here but i cant help it. and also i know im a dork... and im shy... so finding new friends is kinda tough for me (especially here... where i dont really think i can relate with too many people...).

i know for the longest time ben's crew with timmy and tq and greg split up and it was rough for him (i know cause of all the myspace bulletins). i guess me and ben are going through the same thing. we want this summer back. just one more summer. right?

well ya know what? i gonna have to accept this. i still havent... or else i wouldnt be blogging all ova da place about this lol. but i have finally realized i need to accept this. this is temporary.. but its four years temporary... kind of a while (to me at least). its gonna feel permanent. so yea.

do i like penn? no... will i always feel that way?... i really doubt that... i mean cmon.. i hated judge... now i miss it... lol. and i want to move on. buuuuuutttt....

my friends from high school (and you know who you are) i miss. sounds obvious to me... ive been telling people i miss them a lot over my short time here... they know. but i kinda want this blog to put that in stone.

as long as youre not around i feel incomplete. maybe one day ill learn to love this fucking school but i promise ill never stop missing you and i always want you in my life. i know ill see all of you again soon... im not far away at all this is true. but it doesnt matter...

i love you.

i really do overuse the word "love" but im a poet we do that lol. and i mean it. i cant wait until the next time i see you... even you joe and i just saw you like two hours ago lol.

whenever i take personality surveys and stuff (i like them, i dunno) they always say im really dependent on others. maybe thats true. ok its definitely true. yea...

its true.

this is long and im sorry. if you read all of it thanks cause you care.

hey motherfuckers! it is officially fucking 1 in the morning and i am totally bored out of mind... which has become kind of the norm for me nowadays... oh well...

i gotta start reading some shit again... i feel like i have lost touch with the shit i like... maybe tonight if i dont suddenly get tired.

anyway joe and em are back and im all happy bout that lol... woo!

i have recently discovered how fun it is watching kyle play resident evil... dont ask me why i have no clue...

what else can i rant about?

oh yea!

love the podcast... its going political... which is gonna be different, but i certainly dont mind since i likey the politics... george is gonna be the liberal voice... high five for liberalism and tolerance..!

i am so bored if jesus came up to me right now and told me he was gonna rip my penis off with his amazing jesus powers, id totally ignore him...

i am so bored if john adams came back from the dead, overthrew the government, made it a fascist one party state with him as the head, and declared philosophy against the law, i would just drool away.

i am so bored if a monkey with a split personality disorder did the tango with bill pullman (from spaceballs) on my bed in front of me while singing Carmen i wouldnt laugh...

i am so bored im gonna fucking eat a whole box of pancake mix without even flinching... of course, i dunno why exactly boredom would cause me to want to do that... but i swear to jesus i would!

i am so bored.

somebody help...

here's a poem from Theodore Roethke... enjoy!

LIGHT POEM

Wren-song in trellis: a light ecstasy of butterflies courting,
Nudging and tickling of ants and spiders,
Flutters of wings and seeds quaking,
Little crabs slipping into watery craters---
All that diving and pitching and swooping.

Liquids pursue me, notes and tremors:
I am undone by the gurgle of babies and pitchers,
A dried stalk in a welter of sinuous grasses,
Wanting the quiet of old wood or stone without water.





i absolutely love that poem...

hey everybody, this is my first ever blog on myspace... i figured i'd just goof off on it a little see what i end up talking about.

i'm going to college in less than a month... to be honest, as much as i'm looking forward to actually taking courses i wanna study, i'm going to miss this summer. it has been rather lovely. judge has given me some of the best friends i've ever had, and although the majority of them are staying in philly with me, i have fears i may lose contact. i tend to think i have problems hanging on to friends after we both go in different directions. i hope i'm wrong; joe already said i was wrong, and i know he's right, but i'm a worrier big time, as many of my close friends know. so i can't help it. they i love them though. *wink*

speaking of college i have a dilemma in my head that has lasted about two months that is bothering me (for lack of a better word). it is personal... of course it involves what i'm gonna even be doing at penn. i have three majors listed on my facebook for penn (which is one more than i can have)... and i need to eliminate one. seems easy. just go to college take some courses, and decide. boom. i just don't wanna have regrets, and i'm not pre-professional, but i'm going to a pre-professional school. not that that matters too much. but anyway, we'll see... what i'm nervous about is religious studies. that is quite possibly the last major i thought i'd be in 3 years ago, but it's a distinct possibility now. i'm not religious... and i know i'm gonna hate people thinking i am just cause i study it. it is exciting to me, to understand my own changing self, it really is. i hope i can do this. cause i would want nothing more then to devote my existence to the education of your children (at a college level of course lol). especially in a field i love. what makes math/philosophy/theology/religion important? maybe nothing, maybe everything. hopefully i can be able to tell you. i think part of me wants to be remembered forever in some sort of academic fashion... like Nietzsche is, or Otto is, or Hilbert is. the other part wants to remain in obscurity and understand my own self first. i think if i actually aim to be on a Nietzsche-level, i'm going to miss. so i'm just gonna shut up. and live.

if you actually read all of this rant... i must love you. cause your definitely one of my friends lol.

thanks for listening... the next blog will be more silly/usual Zach then this... this is just what's been on my mind recently.

buhbye lovers.