Alan's Blog/Short Story:Our planes cross. Intersecting each other's paths, like...
Hang on. Not transcendental planes. Not that hippy bullshit. Real planes. Petrol burning, chunks of metal flying through the air at 500 mph at 33,000 feet.
When our plane lands, the doors open and all the farts of the 11 hour journey fly out to their new home, like a breaking, stinky wave of gaseous refugees. We await our turn behind them and then step out into the clichéd sun & the heat of Los Angeles. The pilot and the co-pilot (who wants to be the pilot); and air-stewardesses and air-stewards (who act like air-stewardesses), see us off with their fading LA look. To be specific:
teeth whitened by electric toothbrushes & chemicals;
skin browned by controlled tanning & the Pacific air and
body toned by jogging; pre-work weight sessions & strict dieting.
When your plane lands, the doors open and you step out in the clichéd grey London drizzle. A poster with a fast-fading super-model, tells you to:
"Get The London Look."
The London look is an inadvertent cousin of the LA look, to be specific:
teeth slowly browned by cigarettes, tea and lack of brushing;
skin whitened, through lack of outdoor hobbies and the grey, drizzle of London and
body left flabby by too many chips, booze and again, lack of outdoor hobbies.
Next reclaim bags security check cab hotel check in get to room argue over beds go out explore for food and sit and watch the world go by.
In LA, in organic vegan coffee-shops, we see: Liv Tyler, Richard Gere and a child-star-turned-adult-alcoholic. In London, outside banks, you see: littered streets, police cordons, photographers and someone throwing bricks to smash windows & grab the photographers' attention.
In LA, as we drink our Italian coffee from Kenya, we see men in chinos with slicked back hair drive past in Hummers and convertible Rolls Royces. In London, as you drink a cup of English Breakfast from India, black taxis wait outside the cordoned off area.
Hopefully, over the next week, our London look might slowly fade, through jogging, health food and the sun. Whilst conversely, your healthy brown skin might fade and your teeth might tarnish slightly in the London drizzle and lifestyle. No wonder we're so good at moaning. Good luck!
Tonight Los Angeles, tomorrow San Francisco, then Manhattan and Brooklyn.
We gonna change the world man! But first got to brush them teeth.