So Kerokee last week was kind of a blur, a blur filled with love and laughter. Long story short my brother drove me home, we passed out in his truck outside my place, he woke up to the sound of me pissing in his truck on the door, he kicked me out infront of my house and it took over two hours to get home...Oh and John gave some chick he went home with the shocker...Righty-o Johnny ol boy, Righty-Oh.

PS: We dont know if she was really stupid or actually handicapped

No night is ever complete without a friendly night self-humiliation, brotherly live, drinking and audience harrasment.

This time at Kerokee turned out a lot better than the last time I went out with my brothers...This time I didn't wake up at 7:30 in the morning in front of a store...It is 12 oclock and I dont know where John is though, hahaha....I think he left with a girl who had either really small lips, or really big gums, I couldn't tell.

Corey's kereokee observation #1

Drunk overweight girls love guys who sing.

No, drunk overweight girls love anyone.

Thought of the day; Was she handicapped?

ijsutatesomepizzaitwasfuckinamazingilovecoldpizzaespeciallyafteryou'vebeendrinkingallnightitsjustsogetitgetsmehellawethellanowtheresawordihaventheardinawhileitsoutrageouseicantwaittogotoworktodayitsoseasyvaluevillagemanitellyeahgoodtimesidontthinkthisonefatchicklikesmethatscoolI'mgladmysupervisorhasahusbandithoughttheonlyreasonigotthejobwasbecauseiwashittingonherdodgedthebulletdodgettheoverweightsmellybulletthathasalispitsfuckinawesome50percentoffclothesnotbadnotbadfuckthisjobthoughi'monlygoingtodoitupforamonththenitstheoilfieldsohshitcanadadayisthissaturdayisn'tit?ohmanihearedmontonisinsaneduringcanadadaythismightjustbeabookworthydaywithsexyresultspsidontknowwhatitisbuti'mstrangleyattractedtomiddleagedwomanfuckthey'resexyi'msohorneydigitcanyoudigitcanyoudigit?

WARRIORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAAAAY

WARRIORS, COME OUT TO PLAAA-AAAAAAAY

Well skull fuck me with a strap on and call me Louis, its hot, I'm not used to this edmonton weather, the best part about it is there's no lakes or rivers for hours...Thats so wicked, I dont know about all of you but I hate cooling down in nice cold water when I'm hot...I could always chance the river here, whats a few prostitute and hobo corpses when your hot? I'll just go with the flow...JUST LIKE THE CORPSES.*All jokes, anecdotes, obscene, tasteless and racial/ethnic comments and slurs Copyrite Buffman Productions*.

Holy shit, my bro just had a baby and when it cries it sounds just like a maguai from that gremlins movie...Not when its being all cute and shit, but when they chuck water on it and it sounds like it's dieing.

Corey's baby observation#1:

Baby's like to piss, shit and throwup on themselves.

Its a pretty cute baby though, its the first time I've really been around a baby, its pretty fun stuff, she's a cutey, I can play with her for hours.

Corey's baby observation#2:

Baby's are terrified of me.

I've got subway in the fridge, that bitch is mine, figga deal me.

Big hugs

-Corey

Its rare I post a song cause that shits usually pretty gay, but I love this song to much.

You get what you see,

A saw a rich fuck give out charity

I saw an evil emperor

wearing my clothes

far from the best

they might suit you better than the rest

just looking in the mirror

will make you a brave man

I know my place

hate my face

I know how I began

and how I wont end

Strung out again

Was a parliament of owls

flying over a city of canals

floating on the body

floating in the dark

Forget what you see

somethings they just change invisibly

dont even know where I'm going

I dont even want to know

I know my place

hate my face

I know how I began

and how I wont end

Standing, smiling

from fantasy island

moving with my lost

reflection of me

the tides coming in

and I'm strung out again

strung out again.

I'm a little gayer havign done that, but the song is too rad

Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, all the sexy bitches around the world. El Buffman-o's time is coming to a close, it had to come soon as you all might know. I'd like to express my love and thanks, especially to those who let me down their pants, And if I didn't get in there you didn't miss much, just a mind blowing night with a man called "The Buff". I hate to leave without feeling you up so I'll just picture your face on the next chick that I fuck.

Ladies and Gentlmen I leave this Thursday for the wonderous and mystical world of Edmonton, should be a time. The Buffman is in kind of a perdicament(spelling?) Last night I went camping got drunk and lost my cell phone, so if you call and I dont answer its because my phone is in some bushes somewhere in the woods(Camping tip#1: Leave valuables at home, especially if you plan on getting naked and jumping into an icy river). But alas, I believe a little going away gathering is in order, I was thinking sopranoes kereokee bar for some early morning drinks and rock until the late hours, a little singy wingy perhaps? Shit yeah.

Well my Dicks and Chicks I must be off, I am going to spend what little money I have on a night on the town. I'm gonig to go home, shower, put on something moderatly clean(Note to self, hire sexy foriegn exchange student to do my laundrey. Sexy foriegn exhange student doing my laundrey..If I get a camera I'll have myself some amatuer porno) 

CIAO

-The Buffman   

Shit yeah suckas, the 24 hour relay is rolling around the corner and its going to be fucking killer. For those of you who dont know what the 24 hour relay is I'll tell you, its pretty much this fundraising thing for easter seal kids where people get pledges and run and it lasts 24 hours...But pretty much it turns into a 24 hour party filled with shannanigans and heavy drinking.

         This year I'm going with my work(its actually my first time going) and their theme is "Cowboys". Cowboys, fuck cowboys, my pal and I have been working on our costumes for like 2 weeks, were going as fuckin barbarians, we've made our and weapons and everything, plus were going to throw down on 8 litres of wine, its going to be a fuckin time...I bet we'll make it in the paper, I cna see it now, "Outbreak at 24 hour relay; 4 dead, 12 raped". You all should come, maybe we could get together, rape and pillage a little bit. Fuck yeah.

-Buffman out

     Well last week I got myself into quite a situation involving Georgie-Boy, good ol' Georgie-Boy.

    I met George about a year ago when some pals and I wanted to goto this nudist lake(Old tits and weird patches of hair everywhere). The pals and I were rockin out with our cocks out with this old guy, probably in his 80's came and sat beside us on the dock(the dock was pretty small). I regognized the guy and we talked and it turns out he was one of my neighbours. I didn't think it was strange that he was 80 something and hanging out at the nude lake, old people always do weird shit. Anyways I told him I'd swing by his placeone time and I did, we got to talking and it turns out he's gay(I made sure to make my sexual preference clear to avoid any propositioning of himself to me) and he told me all kinds of weird and uncomfortable stories.

        So pretty much a year goes by and I was walking past his place again and he was outside, I couldn't just walk by and ignore him so I struck up some convo, the muthafucker seemed like a lonley son of a bitch, I asked him what he'd been upto and he told me that he was just trying to keep himself busy. What could I do? Being the angel that I am I told him I'd swing by his the next day with some beers before I had to goto work.

             The next day rolls around and I swing by(you really cant tell a lonley guy your going to swing by his house and not do it, its bad karma and he'd probably cry, fall down and break something). I give a knock at his door, and whaddyaknow, Georgie boy answers the door in some tropical looking man thong type dilly. I enter his house trying to keep my eyes above his waist, it was gnarly, he turned around and I couldn't help catch a glimpse of his ass, it was so wrinkly you'd swear it had gills or something. He says "I guess I better put some pants on, but I guess it doesn't really matter". Lucky for me he did put on his pants and we went onto the balcony with out beers. We were sitting there chatting and the sun breaks through the clouds, and he says to me "Oh the suns coming out, you should take your shirt off and get some sun". Honestly I dont know what the hell it is, I have been in some strange situations, and I never really think too much about it as its happening...I mean dont get me wrong I didn't strip for the old perv, I'm more on my game than that, but I handled it pretty smoothly so I wouldn't hurt that dirty son-of-a-bitchs' feelings.

        Its starts to cool down and he says he hates the cold so we go back inside. The akwardness of the situation had caused me to up the drinking speed so I was going on my third and getting my buzz on pretty smoothly. As I go into his living room a see an interesting magazine on the table, "STUD". Nothing says good hosting skills like leaving your explicit gay porn on the table for all too see, right on Georgie-Boy, right on. So he comes into the living room and takes off his pants, this time his boys are hanging out the side of his man thong and he sits in a wierd type pose, I think he was busting out his A-game at this point. I was desperatly trying to make conversation about anything; Paintings, his couches, his dead aunts opera glasses. George wasn't having that, I kept noticing that he was reaching out and trying to draw my attention to his gay porn...Eventually he just cut to the chase and asked me if I had ever seen this magazine before, I told him that I have magazines like that except they have woman in them. Georgie eventually knew he wasn't going to get a piece of the buffman and told me he had things to get on with and that I had to go, not before getting one last stab in and asked me if I wanted to go camping with him sometime. 

      The moral of the story, no good deed goes unrewarded. I took 35 minutes out of my day to go visit and lonely old man, and I have the opportunity to get a piece of ass...An old, dry wrinkly piece of ass, but a piece of ass none-the-less.  Maybe if I had a couple more beers though... 

-Corey the Buffman