It's so good I have to share with EVERYONE!!

1. Peel (or not), cut up, and core 4-5 apples into a microwavable glass bowl

2. Sprinkle cinnamon (to taste) and sugar (1/4 cup or to taste) on top of apples. Also add 1/4 cup of water (or apple juice or cider).

3. Cover with plastic wrap and put in microwave 5-6 minutes.

4. Take out and stir, mash a little with a potato masher. There will look like a lot of water in the bottom but that's okay. They may need another 2-3 minutes to get soft enough to mash.

5. The applesauce will be chunky but if you want it thinner, stick it in a food processor or blender. Add more sugar and cinnamon if needed.

6. ENJOY!! ........

So I graduate in 40 days. YAY! But I don't want to do any more papers.. I have at least 40-45 pages worth of papers to write (between 4 papers.. there is no 40 page paper.. thank god!).. Don't want to write any of them. One is due on Tuesday. 10-12 pager. I'll get it done at some point.

So, I'm getting a graduation present! Someone is getting me a dog! Not saying who, but I think she's awesome for it! She was going to get me a shit zu puppy, but I want a dog a little bigger than that. So we'll see what we can find at the animal shelter. I'm not getting another dog as big as Murphy was, but maybe a Tucket size. We'll see what I can get!

*for the record, dad didn't say i could get a dog. lol*

Around Christmas I was given a homework assignment by my basketball
team coach. I was to write a thank you letter to anyone and thank him
or her for whatever I thought needed thanking. I wrote to Gary. I don’t
know what I was thinking, maybe a moment of weakness, but whatever. I
thanked him for making Megan happy, I thanked him for helping bring
Harper to the world, and I thanked him for putting up with all the crap
we give him. I ended the letter by saying that I was honored that I was
going to be able to call Gary my brother-in-law. Now I can call you my
brother-in-law, and I could not ask for a better one than you.



Megan. You look amazing by the way, more so than usual. Being away from
you at school is the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I
don’t think I even cried as hard when Dad left me at school as I did
when I left that morning, sorry Dad. You have grown up so much in the
four years that I’ve been at school. I am so proud of the woman you
have become and that you found someone as amazing as Gary to share the
rest of your life with. We've had a lot of fun together, and you've
always been there for me if things got tough. We've come to know each
other so well that we have an understanding that goes beyond words.
“What freaky twin thing?” I am so happy for you and I love you so much.



I wish the two of you the best of luck! Congratulations!

so i have to say, that writing two 5 page papers in one night is ridiculous and should never be undertaken. NEVER EVER. the fact that the professor hasn't taught anything all semester and then expects me, the student, to produce a paper that relates to the class in some way is a stupid notion.  this professor used to be my favorite and now i have to say he is on my shit list. and then cancel the class before the paper is due is even worse! he doesn't answer emails, so emailing him is impossible, and he doesn't answer his phone, so that's out too. to top it off, he is NEVER in his office, so that's out of the question as well. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE A PAPER WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS??? and why am i spending 6 hours looking for stuff for a 2 page "first draft"??? that's stupid! it should not be happening! GRRRRRRR!!!!

so meg had her baby! her name is harper autumn sweet... she is 20.5" and weighs 7 lbs 2 oz and has gunboat feet... she is beautiful and you should look at the album that i made of her... she is absolutely GORGEOUS... meg is doing great... she had a c-section and will be in the hospital for a few days then she'll get to go home with the baby... gary is doing fine too.. he's in serious need of a beer though.. lol.. but they are all happy and healthy! YAY MEG GARY AND HARPER!!

for those who haven't heard, my uncle bob died  last sunday. it was exactly 52 weeks after my pepere. not cool at all. they don't know why he died and the autopsy is inconclusive as of right now. all we are going on at the moment is that he ate a sandwich the night before and was sick as a dog (puking) most of the night and then didn't wake up the next day. he was part of the sheriff's department as a corrections officer at the local jail, so there were more york county sheriff dept. workers at the wake and "service" than any of us knew what to do with. they gaurded my uncle's body, which was pretty cool, kinda creepy and really touching. the "service" was just our friendly family priest (as in he's part of the family, looks like jesus-literally- but don't say it to his face cousin of my dad and uncle) saying a few words. he did memere and pepere's funerals too. he's pretty cool beans. then my uncle's girlfriend's dad played the bagpipes. he played them at pepere's funeral too.

so i'm sitting here, in the living room at home, and i'm looking and listening to the thunderstorm outside. i'm thinking of how it is the complete portrayal of my feelings right now. the rain my tears and sadness, and the thunder and lightning my anger at my uncle's early departure from our lives. he was only 39! it's not fair. but like the thunderstorm, my sadness and anger will let up and the sun will come out again. we need to learn to move on in life and keep going. you can't dwell on the past because it will give you no future. and i plan on having a future, just not the one i planned on. and as i finish, the last remnants of thunder are off in the distance and the sun is starting to peak through the clouds. it's a new beginning.

"It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time." ~Samuel Johnson
r.i.p. uncle bob 5-25-08

that is all

yay! my ceiling is still intact!

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

it's been one of those days where you wake up and wish that you didn't want the day you had.... but you have to deal with it because it's your life... that's not how i wanted to say it but i don't know how else to describe it.. i don't know how to describe how i felt today other than crappy (because i think i'm coming down with something and i have a headache).. it's one of those days you don't want to live but you have to because it's your life... i think that's how i want to say it.. i don't know.. i had it all in my head earlier (as in like 5 minutes ago when i decided to write this) and forgot... i knew exactly how to say it and in the time between that moment and sitting down and waiting to get to this page and write forgot.. i hate it when that happens.. and when i'm done i'll remember how i wanted to say it and i will be too lazy to change it or when i go to write it i will forget it again...

i don't know... it's been one of those semesters... and it's only 2 weeks in!! i feel like i'm so busy, but not at the same time.. i have classes and basketball and history club and student assembly and soon possible new history prof hires and homework and soon softball and all this other stuff... looking at it i wonder how i have time to sleep... when i get to sleep (effing neighbors)... i feel like i need to do everything but i don't want to do anything at all... i want to do this and that and don't...

i feel like i keep losing a part of me... like i keep killing it off... and i don't want to... i feel like it's slipping away into the abyss of my soul and i can't do anything but watch and hope that one day it will float back up again.. i hope it does... because i feel like i can't be me without it.......