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Ken Flatt


Last Updated: 7/17/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 32
Sign: Cancer

City: Bristol
Country: UK
Signup Date: 7/24/2005

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December 24, 2008 - Wednesday 

It is Christmas Eve and I am so glad to not be out there in the human asteroid field of consumer chaos.

Quite simply I take pride in planning Christmas early to avoid playing shopping dodgem on the night before Jesus' Birthday. I buy my turkey crown in January, I stock on wrapping paper/cards/cellotape etc also in January and presents I especially make a point of purchasing 2 months in advance. Of course there is also the modern advantage of ordering things online in which even with that I sort out before December so I can receive them in December.

I'm currently at home with the sniffles and keeping warm, but I am sure feeling great that I forward planned everything. If anyone reading this has been out there, is going out there, and currently out there I will be thinking of you.

Merry Christmas to all.

Currently watching:
Gremlins
Release date: 2001-08-21
December 21, 2008 - Sunday 

A couple of days ago I had started to unpack the nativity set in my living room and was thinking about another Christmas season of using the broken one armed Jesus ornament as the centrepiece.

As I was unwrapping the individual figurines (I bubblewrap my nativity stuff) I unwrapped what I thought was just one of the smaller models, maybe one of the sheep but it wasn't.

There it was, a brand new unbroken baby Jesus!

For the last couple of Christmases I have griped about how stores don't sell individual nativity pieces (and nobody on ebay seems to either) and asked around everywhere to get a replacement. No such joy, until this recent comeuppance.

I won't question how this mystery replacement model found its way into a sealed up cardboard stable and twisted itself in bubblewrap at the bottom of a large decorations box…

Fact is, if I actually bought a replacement Jesus or had one given to me I would have remembered something like that. There also is no way anyone would have gone to so much trouble to plant this on me either considering how I store my decorations very tightly.

To me, this is an unexpected Christmas blessing and miracle. I feel this is certainly a small happy event I have to share with all I know.

God has a great and generous sense of humour

===KEN

Currently watching:
It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie
Release date: 2003-10-07
December 17, 2008 - Wednesday 

So here I continue my write up on Christmas Specials from the past.

One of my favourites came from the 80's again in the form of the He-Man and She Ra Christmas Special (1986).

So basically the residents of the Eternia Imperial Palace are preparing for a double birthday bash for Prince Adam and Princess Adora, meaning many visitors from neighbouring planet Etheria and a large mixer of the He Man and She Ra cast. All is going well until Skeletor and Gang decide to crash the pre-festivities and launch an attack on the palace.

Adam and Adora are not impressed and through a counter attack they transform into He Man and She Ra to send the Skeletor Crew packing back to Snake Mountain. During the attack Orko manages to stow away in Man at Arms' invention the Sky Spy which somehow vanishes and ends up on Earth.

As the Sky Spy ends up on Earth with Orko included, he meets up with two kids named Alicia and Miguel who are on a Christmas Tree hunt. The kids tell Orko about Christmas from the nativity story to presents and Santa Claus as well as carols too.

Rather than just drone on about this like I did with The Troll Prince, I can sum this special up as something that mainly focused on Orko and the kids more than He Man and She Ra themselves. In fact, the best highlights of this special are summed up in all of a 4 minute clip. 

This 4 plus minutes of the special has the best bits included and are packed with Snow Beasts, Gullible kids,  Horde Trooper bashing and Skeletor being nice.

The Best 4 Minutes:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=89U6ei_ChEg

DVD copies of this special are doing the rounds quite cheaply and the extras such as the insight to He Man's moral teaching are certainly worth a look. This Christmas Special is best watched by MOTU fans at the most, although non-fans can still have a good fun poke at the cheese factor of this offering.

Speaking of the morals:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PTreR8GUDh0

Currently watching:
Goodnight Mister Tom
Release date: 2005-11-22
December 3, 2008 - Wednesday 

Over the month of December I'll be looking to Christmas related stuff from the past: Christmas stuff as in the media specials that are produced to coincide with the Holiday Season.

I grew up on a number of these Christmas Specials on my mass TV diet, and a lot of these date back to over 20 years ago. I am going to reflect on these past indulgences with my present day views in comparison to what I thought back then. I take no shame in admitting I spent a lot of my childhood indoors soaking up some form of media or another. If I wasn't junking out on TV programmes my head would be stuck in comics and if neither of those I'd be into my action figures. The latter is still much the same in the present day except that my TV intake has decreased a great deal despite having hundreds more channels to watch than I did in the 80's.

So the first Christmas Special I want to talk about is a Hanna Barbera produced TV animation called The Little Troll Prince. Yep! a Christmas toon about a troll who is a prince, but not a very good prince in the eyes of his peers. I first watched this toon in 1988 when my mum taped it on Betamax for us Flatt siblings to watch. I watched that toon over and over during the 3 week Christmas Holiday break, it was colourful and cheerful and dare I say heart-warming.

The Little Troll Prince centred towards the protagonist named Bu. Bu was the eldest of 3 brothers (or 5 rather as other brothers both had two heads, you follow?) and heir to the throne of the Troll Kingdom, the only trouble was that he was a complete wimp. Bu was not as nasty as his brothers and screwed up all the time at Sinister School. Bu's father The Troll King (who also has two heads) was getting cheesed off with it all and attempts to straighten his son out once and for all. Bu's mother – Queen Sirena could not care less about her eldest son.

Here's a youtube link to the soundtrack:

Basically Bu's destiny lays elsewhere for he is to embark on a path of 'love'. Of course this path does not run smoothly for it begins with Bu's two-headed brothers Borch and Brag and a couple of classmates plotting his demise. They trick Bu into crossing over into the 'People' kingdom on an important Princely mission and leave him stranded and tied to a tree.

The tree is cut down (obviously Christmas is coming) and Bu somehow ends up being taken into the home of a Christian family unit where he meets the sisters Christie and Sonia. The sisters witness the gospel of Christ to Bu and give him a bible before he is captured and taken back to the Troll Kingdom prison. Bu at least has some time to think about stuff before his trial and uses that time to bone up on bible stories during the imprisoned wait.

Looking back I can see that no wonder Bu was a confused and messed up kid. The Prince's family background was pretty messed up through technically having a three-way biological parental unit (his mum has one head) and having no concept of love. This toon meant a lot to me at the time I first watched it. It as around the same time I was also given a small bible (a Gideon bible at a school assembly) and watching that animation made me want to pick that bible up and read it. Reading books for me aside from the odd Dhal story was a rarity. Since then that Gideon bible was passed on 12 years later to a work colleague I though would a appreciate it, but for a while that little book was a comforter during a tough time at school. I guess I could relate to the Bu character in that I got picked on a bit and was a bit of an underdog. In fact some of those troll kids reminded me of a few classmates at the time (I am sure those classmates have now grown up and moved on like myself lol).

Here's the full thing in 4 parts.

So basically, after Bu's wait in the cell and self session of prison ministry he's called to Troll Court and bombarded with jeers, insults and heel heat. Despite the odds against him Bu ends up standing up to his dad, and the troll kingdom at his trial by reading out the gospel of Christ. An outraged pile-on from the bible bashing ensues at the accused stand and Bu escapes this (if only real pile-ons were that easy to get away from). Bu now on the run and transformed into a gnome at this point ends up back in people world. Bu ends up taken in by the family of the girls who witness to him and lives a new life as a bible toting friendly Christmas loving gnome.

Looking now 20 years on, this has actually aged well, the animation is still good and I now know who the likes of Vincent Price and Chloris Leechman are (they who provided the voices of two out three of Bu's parents). I mainly like the moral story of this cartoon and the portrayal of how a small random act of kindness to another can really impact their life. Some of the character designs to me now are a little iffy, as I would have done away with the two headed concept on of some of the trolls if I were commissioned to remake this. Bu's dad the Troll King is a little confusing to buy into as an individual because of the two headed concept and I feel that Vincent Price had only half a voice acting role to fulfil. The rest of the cast both troll and other are all simple and establish themselves well. I guess the two-headed thing with some of the troll characters is a good insight to how messed up Bu probably used to feel before his transition to gnome.

It all sounds bizarre but The Little Troll Prince has to be seen to be believed. The toon itself was only released on VHS and as far as I know is still yet to see the light of day on DVD. I am sure somebody has youtubed this somewhere for a cheap laugh or two. Amazon.com is littered with lots of positive feedback about this one off special so it must be really liked. I am glad to have rediscovered this little gem of Christmas animation two decades in the future. It certainly Is worth the one off viewing for those curious about it alone.

Currently watching:
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Release date: 2003-10-07
November 30, 2008 - Sunday 

Let's start December off on a high note. Deck the Halls with the TMNT. Watch at your own risk though...

Currently watching:
The Muppet Christmas Carol - Kermit's 50th Anniversary Edition
Release date: 2005-11-29
November 24, 2008 - Monday 

OK. So here's the scoop. I am putting together a film, a yet to be named film project which covers the topic of 'being a geek'.

Gotta type this and run. Busy day today...

Why Geek? Pretty much the term 'Geek' is now a badge of honour and no longer a term used by the popular crowd to use as a hurtful slur on others. Being a Geek is there along with being a boffin and a whizzkid with something to feel having credentials about.

For me being a geek is important to me and who I am. It is where the 'Hero' part of my name came from especially when I used it as my stagename during my stint in wrestling. In short, I was identified with as the real life Comic Book Guy (a Simpsons character) and the name stuck with me since. I feel my 24 year long journey as a Transfan has moulded me into the guy I am today and has granted me inner cultural capital.

I've spent some of this Saturday filming a 3 minute pilot for the movie with all sorts of things. I have no idea yet how I will structure the pilot or whether some of the footage will end up in the final draft of the movie. In making these films, more than enough footage is better than not enough.

What I ask of you guys in cyberspace is your assistance. If you consider yourself a geek or have a take on being a geek, film yourself maybe on a webcam or DV cam for a minute or longer and talk about it. You'll get a chance to be in a film and look good being in it. What I am also looking for is background too, stuff like 'geeky' surroundings that would be interesting on camera and maybe to show off too. I am looking to collage everything into a spiked punchbowl of geeky beauty and make a film that aims to educate, entertain and inspire (I said that in my pitch).

As for a name for this film project, no idea yet like I said before but I am welcome to suggestions and will possibly put up a cross-posted poll to decide the winner.

Gotta post this and run. I would love to hear back from any of you. More updates to come.

Currently watching:
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 2008-11-11
October 25, 2008 - Saturday 

Most schools nowadays for the sake of it will claim a "Zero Tolerance" policy on bullying. I've found that in my own experience the so called 'policy' is complete tripe. From both the perspective of an ex-pupil and ex-member of staff I can certainly say that the 'policy' only worked on the less popular characters whilst other characters from the 'upper' class backgrounds had immunity. There certainly is a non-equality issue here.

I even heard recently from a friend that the headteacher of their sons school refuses to acknowledge the word "bullying", I mean that's not just denial but just plain fucked up beyond belief. If it's a PC thing on top of that it would explain a lot.

Of course if you were also a sports player you also to a degree had the teachers in your back pocket (attached by the lips and everything). I hated Jocks! If you were not interested in football, they'd bully you and consider you weird. Jocks got away with everything…

That was me, the artist, the geek, the lower class Brentry lad who didn't like sports, the struggling underdog, a fat boy and one of the smallest kids in my year if not the whole school (late bloomer I was!).

I was never perfect as a pupil, I was a prick & a half at times but I was never one of those from the 'popular' side of the radar who got away with murder. The schooling system failed me and fucked me royally, its people only cared about shouting at me rather than helping me. I wanted to learn but all my input seemed mount to was adults shouting in my face and sometimes making me cry, a serious of abuse that I blame my occasional bouts of social shyness on.

I was physically assaulted on two occasions by two different teachers and guess what? The school did nothing to chase either incident up. A year later another kid was hit by a teacher with a pair of scissors whereupon the army might as well had been called in because the police took no time to come along and give that said teacher the telling off of a lifetime.

A couple of the teachers did care when they could, one of them was my form tutor and sadly died of cancer and the other who helped me through a suicidal/self harming phase has likely retired. I thought I'd mention that to outbalance this negative paragraph 

I've often wondered if disgruntled ex-pupils like me would ever be compensated for psychological damage and lack of positive input. Of course the schooling system would twist and bend the story to save their hides. 16 years later I don't think I have the means to back my case even though it is good enough. And 16 years later, would anyone care? Claiming damages from a school for poor help and growth would be a bandwagon that most people who hated school would jump on, thus overshadowing the genuine cases (like me).

However one good thing the school did was wipe clean my record at the end of year 11 of all crimes I committed during the last half a decade. It made me wonder if the same went for others too.

I remember another incident during my LSA days where two brothers were caught buying and selling firecrackers on a school trip. Now usually the average Joe would be suspended indefinitely and given the bollocking of a lifetime, instead these two upper-class individuals were given the day off to attend a cricket match. There's justice for you. Months later, a kid in the same class as the two brothers was given a fortnight internal suspension for doing a similar deal with a cap gun. Well…

I took up the job as an LSA to return to the schooling system and give to it what was never given to me. I was never biased towards anyone, and the odd elitist did not like my approach towards the 'unlikable' but I thought they could go piss up a rope for all I care. I did not like the snobs and toffs (and since I worked in Bath there was a lot of them) and their upper class attitude that was made known in the slyest ways possible.

I liked representing the unpopular and liked making them feel valued even more. I was the Happy Gilmore of the education system – Mr Flatt – "a fucking legend!" one kid called me. In truth, I never hated school but more the oppressive system behind it. I am glad I did that job for 5 years despite one spiteful individual trying to make things difficult. I rose above that and made an impact anyway. Up yours Hurd!

Anyway, School should be made the most of whenever possible even if the system is corrupt and screwed up. School is where a person's first solid friendships are formed even if they likely move on in life and so forth. School would be more enjoyed better if there was good policies that are real. I just hope bullying will one day be properly dealt with rather than be all talk and turning a blind eye whenever 'upper class Jimmy' acts the fool.

Zero Tolerance policy indeed. The small print however most likely says "Only towards the lower class and unpopular kids we favour the less". Give me a break! Sort it out now!

Currently watching:
The Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow
Release date: 2008-09-02
October 14, 2008 - Tuesday 

I was asked yesterday at church if I'd like to go to Romania next year as part of the Kids missionary team.

This could be a cool opportunity.

I wonder whether I can bring a Proton Pack past customs to this land of Goulash and Vampires? Perhaps Romania is more than the aforementioned… I should research some more.

This trip for me could happen next summer provided that I have the funds and that it does not clash with Kingdom Faith (and if it does a few others at church will be affected also).

Still. Nothing is set in stone yet and I've not said yay or nay about it all. Still I am left pondering…

What could I the King of Geeks offer Romania's youth?

What will be in store? I hear the cops there are complete assholes.

Has anyone even warned Romania?

Currently watching:
Duel (Collector's Edition)
Release date: 2004-08-17
September 29, 2008 - Monday 

I'm back at University tomorrow.

New modules, new schedule, new everything.

Here's to a great and successful year and the same to any of my classmates and staff reading.

Currently playing:
Samba De Amigo
Release date: 2008-09-23
September 23, 2008 - Tuesday 

It's been a week since Grange Hill closed its gates for the final time when the last ever episode screened on the BBC.

I watched a fair amount of the final season and I must say it was a truly undeserving finale for a show that has been around for the last 30 odd years.

The final season was nothing but a mind-binder of surrealism, reduced cast, slapstick comedy and low budget cheesiness. The series did not feel like it was even at a school (most of the camera angles were close ups against any odd building to pass off as the outside of a school). The characters had no direction or continuous story arcs (except for the big guy getting the girl at last) and they were not easy to buy into like the characters of old.

I didn't watch Grange Hill until probably about the late 80's where I caught the tail end of the Zammo Maguire era and grew interested in the exploits of Danny Kendall and the year group that consisted of strong characters like Gonch, Ziggy, Trevor, Imelda, Ronnie, and of course Cally Dollington (who I must admit I had a crush on). I didn't really get into this show as early as I could considering I hated school and the last thing I wanted to watch on TV was a show about one. At the time, senior school was around the corner for me so I guess the interest grew for me. 80's Grange Hill was easily the best!

Back to the present day: I can honestly say that Grange Hill needed putting out of its misery, but in my opinion the series died in vain. Little to no effort was put in to make it any good and this whole 31st and final season of the show felt like an anti climax. Old cast members could have been brought in for cameos or perhaps a reunion, maybe the school could have actually been threatened to close or just something BIG! But no… A watered-down surreal comedy was the way forward it seemed (A poor man's Parker Lewis Can't Lose if you will).

The final episode had very little going for it but the little was good. Tucker's appearance was good and he saved the day for his nephew Togger, but even that didn't carry the show, The Roboto toy from Masters of the Universe makes a cameo appearance, and Togger pays homage to the first ever episode at the end (no spoilers!). The rest of the episode revolved around a weak bomb storyline and a love angle. That was it… nothing too epic to end a piece of TV history.

The potential was there to make a dying series go out in a blaze of glory and for one last time win current and old TV watchers back over. Grange Hill for me will go down in history as a good series that for most of its duration was entertaining, and amusing, but ended disrespectfully.

I prefer to remember the older stuff and the era of that older stuff. Thanks to the power of internet and dvd resources vintage Grange Hill has been immortalised for the audience of today and yesterday to look back on. Maybe the BBC will grow a set and release season 5 onwards on DVD, but that – is a separate topic altogether.

"Just Say No!"

Currently watching:
The Breakfast Club
Release date: 2008-09-16