Over the years I have as an artist come across a few texts, reviews and other published thoughts dealing not only with my own recordings as Porn Sword Tobacco but also other peoples work that I am familiar with. I do not enjoy reading my own reviews but still do sometimes. Perhaps you are having trouble like me understanding some of the thoughts published out there. (I have to say writing is hard and I had to come back to this text a few times and will perhaps again) So I felt like I have to try and explain my view on why I do music. Sometimes there is the question , what 3 albums would you take with you to an island? My answer to that question would be that I kind of feel like I am on that island and making the music want to hear at this point in my life.
Anyway I often find that what I have read in some publications are not critique at all just words put together very clumsily and stressed with no reference to anything important at all. Sometimes just a clinical exercise that feels like something deep blue could have written and printed out about human art between its games with Mr.Kasparov (it is disassembled now I know but I hope you get the point). And some times the text smells of fear and hate. I did not know I was setting myself up for treatments like that from fellow humans as I bought my first Casio and felt the urge to play and had the intention to record and release music.Then again I did not read music magazines back then to learn about music and the people behind it. That I am thankful of. Do not get me wrong I am not crying out for better reviews here I am just looking for the reality of things.I want to explain what I do with music.
A few good texts has given me things to think about, new angles. They have helped me understand certain things about how my work can come across to others and that is very cool. These texts are usually written by people that understands the power of the published word. But then again it would be foolish of me to expect that anyone plopped down in chair with a pen in their hand can formulate and present real critique like say Mr.Gore Vidal or even Karl Pilkington. When I open a mainstream paper that handles music today well some net publications also I find it very hard to see any evidence of heart or thought at all. I am often left after reading much of this mainstream nonsense with a feeling that these people of opinion cant really be enjoying themselves. It seems like its a tough fight listening to music to them. They should stick to what they naturally like, this way we all would benefit. I am very thankful for some of the alternative and passionate media out there though, a force that still holds the spirit of man high. Again people are free to do as they like, we have a personal choice and I will not police that.
But if you are into bashing people that just peacefully express themselves in music, then my friend then your just a major asshole.
I am fully aware now that by releasing a record I set myself up for
critique, all artists do and that is totally fair. But in all honesty
does not the mainstream music journalists of today work for companies
that mainly rely on advertisers? Can it be that this has become a
perhaps to much of a stressful activity for some? Do they really sit
down and take their time to create and deliver proper critique in the
matters they claim to handle? I personally view these bad publications as
nothing more than platforms for big business to reach their markets
through and that their employees by now have become judges just one
step away from the ones in American Idol. I can only hope you as a critic of art can turn your words into wings and fly across the world as I have with the help of my music this way you perhaps can get some perspective other than from just the sounds comming out of your speakers. I believe Aristoteles when he says, all paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. We have gone far and deep into systems that is very challenging to us I think. Being able to see things from many angles is important today, for me anyway.
There is no gospel to follow
as a free artist it is a personal choice somehow. It is the personal path a free person takes in his/her life. I just do not feel that there
is much of anything personal at all in the bad texts that I have read.
Maybe I am wrong to look for that? Instead I just find the usual tacky and
broad references left and right and it really seems like their regular
readers needs help with a little bit more than just their taste in
music if you ask me. Sometimes I even find hate and nasty word play that feels like an assault on my personal self. I have meet random office working grown ups
that believe they know things about being a creative musician just because they
have read some magazines. That is scary to me, who feeds them with this
stuff? I can only imagine what a teenager thinks after having read their
crafty and populistic publications.
I celebrate my own existence by playing my instruments and I record the sounds to honor my art. For me the records are there to document and establish my artistic work and then put forth by the record label. It is a small affair in my case but that does not mean that the effects from listening to the music is limited in any way or the efforts involved less worth.
Spreading joy and good feelings even positive vibrations to others by my music is only to be wished for and as I said I celebrate my own existence when I play. I understand that some songs that I do can sound dark or perhaps unhappy even weird to certain listeners, but to me they all shine in their own way ( well almost all ). To think and expect that I base my work on popular foundations like those of a an aspiring pop star or any star is wrong. I try to avoid such traps for myself in my work. Some people need religion in their lives some need a new sports car each year some do ultimate fighting and some pick strawberries and some people even watch television to get through the day. I play music.
Music and art has helped me feel better about myself in this so fantastic and amazingly complex universe of ours. This is basically what makes total sense to me, being creative and continuing to develop my language of art. I have to admit by hitting one piano note and listening to its long decay slowly fade away from me as it starts to light up my inside has helped me see things much clearer in life. Breaking my daily routine by being playful with music has opened my eyes towards what I actually do here and that what we do effects us all. (I am not looking for 6 billion friends when I work do not get me wrong) I am first of feeding my own mechanical soul by working on my art. I cant lie and say I play for others when I work. Maybe with time I can do that. I reinvent myself all the time when I play, this is the only way for me to feel free, that and a bike ride.
So far the style and the sound of my records as Porn sword tobacco has been very random in the sense that I had no idea myself how they finally were to sound. This is my way of getting better at what I have chosen to do and it also serves as a great technique for having a lot of fun at the same time. I can honestly say that I only knew the recordings would come across as raw and me sounding and that hopefully there would be a nice portion of humor to be found in them. If I have one advice when it comes to listening to my music I would say that it takes time and if you cant spare any , please wait until you can. This way you can enjoy yourself much better I have found.
I still have not made up my mind (and there is no rush) on how I feel about certain art/music/films that I have checked out over the years, but it is still there as good company in my memory even if its still undecided by me as "good" or "bad" I view it as evidence of our dreams and the will to communicate them (of course I have my own personal favorites but I keep them close). I love thinking about it and the things I do not instantly understand I try to come back to because I am curious and looking for stuff to pick up and learn from. There is a lot to learn from out there I have noticed and also a lot to feel if one wants.
The pen is mightier than the sword.(pun intended). I can honestly say I have never felt so hurt as after reading some texts about my work. I have never experienced so much hate not even in the streets so if my music makes you as a paid critic want to take a swing at me with your words well so be it. Having
said that I think that from deep meditation over and through art/music
comes the development of our thoughts. We can then later by the written
word communicate these thoughts over borders and build bridges. Sounds
a bit "We are the world" but it is all connected I think. This is how
we continue to build this brave new world of ours. Or we can sell out
to our own stupidity and just moan over shit that does not instantly
gratifies us like a high 12 year old flicking through the channels
looking for his/hers favourite cartoon show. We all have a right to fight for our own existence and the right to express our thoughts aka freedom of speech. But check yourself, can you justify your words? Some texts I have read about my music actually borders on personal attack and that really amazes me. I had never meet so many cold snobs before as I many years ago entered into the art/music world, people seems to be really annoyed and uptight about having a good time with free expression, whats up with that? Is it that hard listening to music? I do not know what they think they are trying to protect with their words or create for that matter. Get over your taste/non taste and get creative yourself, who gave you the torch of wisdom? ha ha
I planted a flower on my balcony this summer its one of these climbing things that uses its surroundings as tools for its growth. It has spun up around the water pipe all the way to the roof of the balcony stretching at least 3 meters up. I found myself setting up wires for it to find and use in its growth. It looks great and its beauty has given me much joy over the course of this summer. Made me think about natural selection and how we can effect the outcome by sticking to what we naturally like. The natural world is amazing and exhilarating when you take your time to observe it.
I find inspiration in grand things like that but also both simple and complex things like being touched physically on the hand by a person that loves me. If my music can come across as something that just bares a fragment of such sweet, fantastic, cool and sensitive human behavior as a touch or a quiet walk in nature. Then I feel like I have given something back into this world through my artistic expression, apart from just the dull and boring traces of my basic survival. Still this is beyond me in my work and I cant even hope for that or think of that whilst I am working, as I said I celebrate I do not wish when I work. But when it actually happens and the music crosses over and touches someone on the other side it naturally feels great, especially when not even a single word has had to be used.
I guess proof for that would be the mails and comments I received from people all over the world at home and in my travels that found use for my art in their lives over the years. I have also in my own experience with other peoples work found myself getting back in touch thanking artists that I admire. It is a nice feeling knowing that my efforts matters listening as well as creating. And to the people that has written to me about my work with style and finesse I say THANK YOU! On certain dull and grey days that really helps to motivate. It is impossible to be thankful enough for that.
I dont think some people undertsand how much it hurts being attacked for something you hold as the most natural thing in your life. If I dont like some art or music I dont live of or feel the need to print that or spread thoose thoughts. If you as a critic have time over in your life to think out loud why not attack some real issues then and try to make a change. Or is all good in your world? Is it just the music your "forced" to hear that sucks?
I enjoy being part of the creative force on this planet! So please do not think I am fueled by anger writing this. I just want to look further and push on, investigate and protect what I hold most dear. We humans have as I see it always had a weird relationship with art and daring to express ourselves. I feel it is important not to let some tiny self proclaimed tyrants smash or scare people when they just do their best being free in their art. I am thankful for having come to be brave and strong enough to break through my own fear and play what I want to play, create what a want to create. I am in a way happy some of these morons are allowed to roam free because in a sense they made me write and share my thoughts through this text. Something I never thought I would do. This writing experience has been great fun to me. It is funky how it all works. In one last thick stroke with my literary brush I would like to say that we all play our own part (even if we know it or not) in this great drama of ours.
But just to be 100 % sure I give you something back in return for having read my rather long and rather bumpy text I have chosen to end it with the help from a man that knew how to write.
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We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.
Marcel Proust
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Thanks for your time, have a great day!
//Porn Sword Tobacco
