I saw the Toadies tonight at the Rev Room. I must confess, I wasn't much of a fan. It wasn't that I didn't think they were good, I just hadn't heard them. When they were really popular, I lived in England or Lord knows wherever. I got turned on to them when I used to go and see my friends Chuck & Terry (Jumpback) and they used to play "I Come from the Water". Their acoustic version is really awesome and I fell in love with the song.

I went to the see the Toadies, really having only heard that one song. I had no pre-conceived ideas about what it would be like, especially since I'd never heard the original version of the one song I knew!

Well, was I ever impressed. They were awesome. Their guitarist, Clark, is absolutely adorable. He plays guitar like he's all contained tension. Frankly, it is pretty damn sexy. I also liked his fabulous custom guitar with his Seymour Duncan Custom Custom pick-ups. Great tone. At the end of the show, I tried to trade picks with him. I came out on the better end of the deal because he just gave me his pick.

Sadly, it fell out of my pocket (I think). I can't find it. So, I'm not going to be able to get his great-playing vibes on my fingers. sigh. Too bad. I guess I am just destined to remain a hack.

On my way out, I managed to run in to Clark. I was really surprised that he plays with a fairly light pick. You know I had to get the world-famous Dava "purse pick" out of my wallet and show it to him. (Why am I such a geek?!!) This is the original Dava pick I stole from my friend, Scott, out of his who-knows-how-many-picks-in-the-pick-jar that used to sit on the coffee table in the living room of the house in Henderson. I've had that damn pick for 3 years. Those of you who know my maniacal loyalty to Dava picks know how much I loved that particular pick. I always like to brag that I never managed to break it!

Anyway, Clark was totally grooving on the Dava pick, too. I don't think he was just being polite, either! :-) So now Clark is the proud owner of the original, albeit stolen, Dava pick. Enjoy it, Clark. It has served me well!

But back to the show. They played everything that the audience seemed to know the words to, plus some of their new stuff. They would have little interludes playing goofy cover riffs like "Hold on Loosely" or AC/DC or some ZZ Top.  I think they did this mainly to make sure they were in tune. It was amusing and kept the crowd on their toes. I laughed on more than one occasion.

I would like to mention that I asked several people to go with me and they all declined. That show would have been worth a little sleep deprivation. There's precious little cool stuff to do in Little Rock (let's be honest here) and it's a shame that people don't take advantage of the shows that come along - even if it's on a Tuesday night. I could've kept my ass on the couch, but I got up and went anyway. I had a great time, found a guitarist to have a crush on besides Joe Perry (he's so dreamy), and met a couple of new people. How can that be bad?

All I can say is... If you have a chance to go and see the Toadies, you should definitely take it. It was worth my money to go. I had a great time. They are amazingly talented, tight and their sound was great, too. It was just loud enough and the mix was pretty much perfect where I stood. The band hung out for awhile and signed stuff - including some guy's neck - and they had to be tired after playing for over an hour and a half!! I'm most definitely a fan now. I can't wait to go and see them again!!

Love you! Mean it!

Since I returned from Louisiana and was ill, I have been far less motivated. I haven't even done my "one thing" over the last two days. It's probably because I've been somewhat obsessed with this "bailout" plan. I'm not sleeping well, either. I recently heard some news that bothered me and it's keeping me awake at night.

I'm also very annoyed with people and their lack of response. E-mail is great for instant gratification. However, it also seems to inspire people to completely ignore you. They just don't or won't call, even after you have requested them to do so. I've called to do follow-ups and had people tell me that they wouldn't give me the name of the person I needed to speak with, that I needed to e-mail them. When I responded that I had already e-mailed them several times, I was told to e-mail them again. Greaaaaaaaat.

The thing is, I don't even know if they received my e-mail. If I don't do it through MySpace, I have no idea if it has been read. And, I'm sorry, I don't give a fuck how busy you are, because you know what? My time is valuable, too. Maybe even more so when you consider my mother died when she was 42 and my father died when he was 55. I've already made it past one hurdle; I have one more to go, But, I may only have 11 more years to live if I follow my parents' genetic pattern and you're fucking me around, wasting my time?!! I might not *have* any more time!!!! I'm already squeaking by here. Give me a break!

It doesn't take more than 30 seconds to push reply and type "Thanks for your e-mail. We'll keep you in mind." Push Send. Done deal.

This nonsense has also affected my motivation. I realize I'm in a business full of "no". I can deal with that. However, now it's not a business of "no", it's a business of "no response". It's wearing me out.

Love you! Mean it!

I am not a drum aficianado. I'm a person who "likes what I like". I have always wanted to be a drummer and consider myself an air drummer extraordinaire. The following list, while not comprehensive, is comprised of people whose drumming I just really like. People whose fills I cannot ever figure out, not matter how many times I listen to their records, because they're always full of surprises. Or, people who simply keep things together when it sounds like everything is falling apart.

This list is in no particular order. It's more like a stream of consciousness rambling. Although, being a good Virgo, I'll probably just alphabetize it! I may not list your particular favorite drummer-god. I may add more people as I think of them, but this is the list today.

Kenny Arnoff (John Mellencamp)

John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)

Terry Bozzio (Missing Persons, Frank Zappa)

Stewart Copeland (The Police)

Billy Ficca (The Waitresses, Television)

Dave Lombardo (Slayer)

Keith Moon (The Who)

Floyd Sneed (3 Dog Night)

And for some people you likely will never have heard of...

Leslie (I won't even attempt to type her last night, Species Droid) She's a friend of mine I knew in Vegas. I've lost touch with her. I miss her lots! She and I once jammed "Barracuda" with two very drunk people at a house party and she's so amazing that I knew exactly where we were in the song. I don't think we even needed those guys! We could've done it just me on vox and her on drums. It was awesome. Props to you, Leslie!!

Mike a/k/a Smitty (Third Degree). I am blessed to get to sing with Smitty on the Sundays I go to the open mic at the Fox & Hound. He is an a-maaaaa-zing drummer. He can play *any*thing. He's got a fairly small drum kit, but he can get different tones (like John Bonham), do complicated fills (like Stewart Copeland) and keeps it all together when it's falling apart (like Kenny Arnoff). Smitty is the bomb!

Ah, well. I am officially older than I was 2 days ago. I'm working on a plan and have made some goals for myself - some of them I may even accomplish.

I have decided that I am going to do at least one thing every day to further my music. Now some of you will think that this is rather lame and that I should be doing 20 things to further my musical cause (Bill Jagitsch). I say to that: "I want to make a goal I can actually attain (obtain? hmmm)". Most days I will do more than one thing. Some days, I may do 50 things. But there will be days, oh yes there will, when I will be lucky to get that one thing done. And I don't want to have some kind of unreasonable daily goal that is going to make me feel bad. "Damn! I only did 18 things today, I'm a failure." Nope. Not a thought that I find productive. "WOW! I did 18 things today!!! Awesome!!" Yeah, that's more like it.

When I started learning how to play the guitar, I played a similar trick on myself. I made the goal to play 10 minutes a day, every day. I stuck to it until I was good enough to make a new goal of learning a new song every day. Some of the songs I learned during that period have stuck around in my song list. Others have just gone by the wayside - which is okay.

For my birthday, Bill actually did something useful. He didn't officially buy "off the list", but he did consult me about the gift he bought me. Many years of "what the fuck is THIS?" has taught him (finally) that this is a good idea. He got me a book of chords. It's organized in a really cool way that I might actually be able to figure it out and use it. This is going to help my playing considerably, I suspect. So, one of my new goals is to learn a new chord every week. I will expand that to include using it in a riff or song. Some of them will stay in the arsenal and some of them will go by the wayside. I'm okay with that.

My other goal is to play 10 shows before the end of the year. I would like to insert "paying" before the word "show", but that may not be obtainable. We'll see. I have one show already scheduled for September 27th in Denison, so I've only got 9 more to go. Good karma is in it for you if you help me achieve my goal. Undying gratitude. You can even be a Top Friend!! (if you aren't already...) A mention in my book of memoirs...

I'm excited about doing some things differently and doing some different things. I've been waiting on other people to join in (some made alleged commitments - pfffft!!) and I can not and will not be burdened with others' indecision any longer. I've waited plenty long enough. I've got my guitar, my voice and my fabulous new chord book. Those who aren't onboard can fall by the wayside. I'm okay with that.

Love you! Mean it!

My Birthday is August 26th. Those of you who know me in "real life" know I am entirely too sentimental about my birthday. I like a fuss being made. Yes. I do. My birthday is usually on a week day (this year, a Tuesday. BLEH!!) which makes it suck even worse than just being at the end of the summer / beginning of school / close to Labor Day...

Well, boo hoo about all of that. Wah. You think I'd be used to it after all this time, but NO.

So, in hope of actually receiving lots of wishes and SWAG (and on the day, too - not now, not one week ahead, on the actual DAY!!, otherwise, it doesn't COUNT) I am giving you all a heads up about what I want! And, those of you (Bill Jagitsch) who know me also know to "buy from the list". I write a list because this is what I want or need. Not so you get an idea and go get something that I don't want. Pfffft. I'm *really* picky. I'm sure it comes off as ungrateful and for that, I apologize in advance. There are people who can get a "free pass" (Simone, for example) and just send me some cool shit from Australia or a compilation CD of songs or some kind of something like that - but for all you other "joes", BUY FROM THE LIST!!!

Here it is:

Elixir Acoustic Strings, Polyweb, Custom Lights .11s

Dava Picks (original turquoise blue ones)

Larivee acoustic guitar with built-in pick up

Roland Cube Street amp (here's the link: http://www.roland.com/products/en/CUBE_Street/index.html)

Microphone stand

Music books (preferably 70s with a lot of kitsch hits!!)

Anything Lava Man or Hollywood Park (like those bitchin glasses they gave away... HINT, Abby!)

Olivia Newton-John double CD (found it at Best Buy, I think it's called "Gold")

Gift certificate(s): Old Navy, Target, Bath & Body Works, Sephora... or think of something! :-)

Okay, here's stuff I'd like to have, but realize this list is what makes the entire blog go under "Dreams and the Supernatural". Basically, "Miracles" wasn't a category!!

Ford Escape hybrid

A house by the beach

An awesome job

A new crown for my tooth

A plane ticket to Melbourne, Australia

A plane ticket and accommodation to Berlin

Sell my songs

Win an award (for anything! LOL)

Have a successful tour (technically, this may be the same as "an awesome job")

Get to meet Lava Man!!!

Get to meet Blinkie the mule! (He's *such* a rock star... so blonde and beautiful LOL)

Get to meet some of my other favorite horses and give them carrots, apples, peppermints... whatever hey like. :-)

Receive an answer from any one of the many letters I've written to Congress, Alan Waldrop or the people at the Delaware Racing Commission.

World Peace (about as likely as receiving a letter from any of the above hahaha)

Ralph Nader to be elected President

Alternative sources of energy instead of nuclear power plants and oil

Free universal health care and higher education

More public transportation

My lovelife to have a happy ending like a romantic comedy (yeah, try to get me that one. Really!!! I wanna see it!! LOL)

Yeah, well, on that note, I must go. I've made myself laugh so hard, I can hardly take it.

Have fun with "the list". I sure did!

Love you! Mean it!

Who We Love and Wish to Thank:

Little Rock Benefit: Reno's Argenta Cafe, Big John Miller Band, Bluesboy Jag, Mark Ripple, Frankie Lovato, Jr., Cocoa Belle, Andina's Cafe, The Flying Burrito, Cotham's and Scotty McNair, Third Degree, Jack Hill @ Ar Dem-Gaz, Zack Stovall @ NLR Times, The Buzz 103.7, Craig O'Neill and those who came out and supported us.

Hot Springs Benefit: The Poet's Loft, Rena Wren, Greg Cardenas, all of the above who donated goodies! and also the people who came out to support the cause.

We also love WordsWorth Books and want to thank Jean for allowing Shane to have a book signing there.

I encourage you to patronize those people who were generous with their time, money and donations. They didn't bat an eye to help and we could not have done it without them.

I also want to thank Alex, Carin and Sim for their continued inspiration and friendship!

A special thanks goes to Shane Sellers who traveled up from Louisiana to sign books and meet and greet people.

Lastly, I want to thank Nick. If it wasn't for his support, I would not be able to do any of this!

Announcing the 1^st annual "We Speak for Them" Benefit to be hosted by Reno's Argenta Café, 312 N. Main, N. Little Rock.

We Speak for Them" is an advocacy group focusing on the treatment of horses and the current state of affairs in the horse racing industry. You can read more about us on our MySpace page: www.myspace.com/wespeakforthem

For your entertainment, we have the musical talents of Spaci Traci & Guests, Big John Miller and Third Degree. Thoroughbred jockey Shane Sellers will be appearing to sign books, speak and meet and greet his fans.

There will be a raffle and a silent auction which will include a handmade cigar box guitar courtesy of Bluesboy Jag.

Things kick off at 8:00 p.m. and we will rock the place until at least midnight! So come out, hear some great music, buy a book, bid on some cool stuff, eat and drink. See you there!

Oh, kids! This is not a teaser, really. Yes, Bill & I have been playing music together again - after 20 years. We actually played our first live gig (of sorts) last weekend on the streets of Little Rock when we busked in front of LaHarpe's Office Furniture in bootiful Downtown Lil Rock during Riverfest.

I know it may seem hard to believe, but Bill & I never really played any gigs when we were doing all of those recordings. We tried to put together a band - we really did - but it just didn't work out. We did a kinda half-ass gig at the DMZ (now Vino's) with a boombox containing our backing tracks and Bill playing lead live and me singing live, but it just didn't fly as well as "Timbuk 3" (remember them?!!) so we gave up on that idea.

For those of you who know us, you know that Bill & I are like an old married couple - very dysfunctional and arguing ALL of the time. Until recently (like 5 years ago), Bill would never once admit that I was right. I knew there was hope for our musical reuniting when we re-did the Spazmotics songs in 2003 and Bill actually said, "You know, Traci, you were right about editing out those seagulls in "Fade into Oblivion"". I thought I was going to choke. I retorted, "Can I get that on tape?"

It's fun to be back with someone you know so well and want to kill. LOL Like a sick and twisted family reunion, except Bill & I actually keep working on our relationship so that we get along better, we're back for more. I don't point out the minor stupid things he does (just the major ones!!) and he has more tolerance for my off-the-wall ideas and sighs more / bitches less. He even admitted last Saturday that I was right about something - TWICE - as we were driving. I even resisted the temptation to point out that he had gone the completely wrong direction even though he's lived in Little Rock the majority of his life. (See? Give / take!! Yeahy!) It's all good.

So, we'll see where it goes. I've got a broken toe (and maybe foot!!) so I am trapped in Little Rock of Horrors at the moment. I might as well do something interesting. I'll keep you posted...

Love you! Mean it!

The good thing about having a broken toe is I am spending a lot of time in the house B-O-R-E-D out of my mind. I can't do a whole lot (not that I am inclined, being here in Little Rock) except sit around, usually with my foot elevated. That gives me a lot of time to think - which is always a nice thing.

I've been running a chord progression through my mind lately, playing with some lyrics. Well, today in a fit of complete boredom, the lyrics I needed finally came to me! Yeahy! So now I have a new song.

The bad thing about having a broken toe is I'm not able to walk or be as active as I am now used to being. When I lived in Dallas (actually Irving / Las Colinas) I lived near one of the canals. It was really nice and I walked the dog several times a day. Not just for her sanity, but also for mine. Since we've been in Arkansas the past 10 weeks, we haven't been walking as much and frankly, it's starting to show. In my lack of sanity and my Chunky Monkey belly! Bleck!

But I digress...

All roads had led to Portland, but as we all know, that just didn't work out the way I had expected. Now we're on to Plan D or E, or maybe we've gotten even farther down the alphabet, frankly I've lost count!

I have a very good MySpace friend who lives in the San Diego area. I'm going to go and hang out with her when I can actually get the car running well (the battery decided to die yesterday) and some cash for gas money. I filled up my gas tank 2 weeks ago and it's gone up 32 cents since then. What is this world coming to? (An end, I suspect!! da da duuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmm LOL)

So, onward and upward, it seems, my friends. Or perhaps I should say over and lower...

I'll keep you posted on my plans. If you have any ideas, I'm open to them! I've got to do something. Arkansas is just not the place for me!

Love you! Mean it!

Oh dear God, People!

My voice lesson today showed me exactly how out of shape I am vocally. It didn’t help that I picked one of the most difficult songs in my repetoire to re-learn. I’d forgotten pretty much the entire second half of the piece. At some point, I was saying to myself, "What in the hell were you thinking??!".

Then I calmed down, listened to the piece and realized that this is one of the coolest songs I ever did and that it will be worth the effort I will be putting forth over the next few weeks to get it up and running.

The piece is from an opera called "The Medium" by an American composer, Gian Carlo Menotti. It is very intense and has a lot of unusual notes, dissonence  and difficult runs. They’re difficult because they aren’t what you expect to be doing and they come at the musical climax. The notes aren’t particularly high like in "Glitter and Be Gay" but they are intense. Because this piece is in English, it makes it more challenging because our language is not all beautiful, pure vowels.

It was very odd today to be working with someone else accompanying me. It helped that Trudy has always been my accompanist in the past, so that was one hurdle out of the way. Kind of. The challenge is that Trudy is, first and foremost, a pianist. They tend to always play by the rules - literally. Instrumentalists are often playing in groups so they tend to be more rigid about following the music because they have to be. A quarter note gets a quarter note’s worth of beat. That’s it. There’s not a lot of room for individuality unless you’re soloing. Singers tend to think the sun shines out our arse and believe people should just follow us, whatever we’re doing - whether it’s written on the page or not! "Quarter note? BAH! I feel it should be a half note! And that’s the way I’m gonna sing it!!" 

It was also odd to be doing somebody else’s music and having to stay true to what they wrote. For the last few years, I’ve been doing my own songs and accompanying myself. Even when I’ve done other people’s songs, I tend to arrange them in a way that is slightly different than the original. I have to modify the key or the fingering / chords because of my voice type and skill on the guitar. I rarely do a song exactly like it is on the record. It’s not just me being contrary. My voice is higher than most singers and I need a different key for it to sound good or I simply can’t play the chords in the original song because my guitar playing is... how do I put it?... not great. It is what it is and I’m okay with that. I "make it work".

I noticed that I had no real flow today. I felt very restricted. Classical music tends to make me feel that way because I wonder if I’m really good enough to perform it. I always feel inferior to the genre.

I started out when I was 8 doing "Superman" by Donna Fargo. I didn’t have my first "real" voice lesson until I was 16 and then I did Broadway / musical theatre pieces suitable for pageants. I didn’t start performing classical pieces until I was in my early 30s. I entered some of the "young peformers" contests, but I was too old to be young (by their standards) and not far enough along to compete with people my age. So, I’ve always felt inferior, like I don’t belong. I’ve allowed the music to get its bluff in on me and it’s very uncomfortable.

I haven’t figured out a way to not feel restricted. There is a certain way things are done. There is a certain reverence to classical music. I don’t want to be disrespectful to the music.When you’re performing you wear your nice clothes and shoes and stand in the crook of the piano with proper posture. You don’t move about the stage. When you’re watching, you wear your nice clothes and shoes and go sit quietly and then applaud politely at the appropriate time.

It’s hard to remember that classical music was once "popular music".  I would like to break free and wail on it like I would a Hank Sr. song, but I’m not sure what is acceptable. Of course, I do have a strong ’punk rock ethic’ so being acceptable has not always been a priority for me. I’ve often followed my own path and taken my lumps. Why not in this?

My voice teacher’s disapproval is a non-issue. He passed away a few years ago. His teachings are invaluable. But maybe it is time for me to leave the nest and forge my own way in the world. I can use the tools he gave me and turn this aria in to something that is mine. Something that I can own. Not fear it, just feel it.

It’s there in the music and lyrics of this song. It is about a mute boy finding his voice and expressing his love. At first, the character doesn’t take him seriously. When she realizes his feelings for her she tells him, "Toby, I want you to know that you have the most beautiful voice in the world".

Perhaps this is the lesson for me as well. To find my voice, express myself and be taken seriously. To break free of the pomp and circumstance and restrictions and just be who I am. And to show the world that I "have the most beautiful voice in the world".