It is noted that life is based upon a series of rules, disciplines
which establishes a foundation, a foot hold, on the world of today.
It is ones own interest that guide the foundation of discipline,
yet there are those who's interest stray moment to moment,
initiate a guide less interest. This tends to manifest from lack of values,
and a lack of self love within, and a heart in self denial.
To deny that one is a femme, that one is a cynic, even a romantic,
is to deny the truth which in turn denies self love.

To know yourself is the first truth to ones life experience,
but simply to read philosophies, journals, and even scriptures
will not guide any one person to learning who they are as an individual.
These are the words from my mind, and only my mind, written for self reference
to think that another mind can fully grasp the concept of these words
is a foolish thought, for one cannot be taught through external means
only from the hardships and truths within them.



I have come to realize that words are meaningless
that there is no god, only the seen and unseen,
there is a heaven there is no heaven,
people are tools, yet are not tools.
I have come to understand the paradoxes of my own mind
which seep into the reality in which I perceive to exist within.
Attempting to maintain a balance is useless, for at any given moment
there must be a set deceive plan attached to what Jim Collen's refers to as core values.
Only the mind can conceive such truths, and to think that by reading,
seeing, experiencing will get you somewhere, well it won't, it is in the abstract
thoughts of the mind where all belief, truths, motivations, cynicism, even where your values lie.
To harness these messages from the beyond, and within, one must not lie about the future, or the past.
For what you see today is there here and now, and what you do today
will effect how you perceive your reality tomorrow.

--Nil Van Assur

Wandering through these people, lost almost in this delusionary plane of existence. Outcast by those whom find my being different, I can not judge their decision, but I do see their reasoning.
Giving and receiving love, helping passionate souls whom are ronin such as my self, our rite of passage in to our spiritual maturity. It is our diversity which makes us united, but our equal pains that give us common ground,
To teach, to share, to love, and to help understand. Desire is one thing, but it is the inner heart that allows for this genuine benevolence. The beautiful symbol of connectivity, through the collective symbiotic nature we share. United we stand together, alone we stand as one, but we are nonetheless forever true. Never lie to your being, for what we are today will shape who we are tomorrow, and dictate our actions.

Honesty is the savor of all souls, listen and we will speak, talk and we will listen.

Masochist, craze pains, distorted, mindless, wild.

fuck,
it's good.


drugs
make me, take me, break me
bl00d.
lick it
ah

senses,
rough,
wild,
vicious
estacy

fufill your desires
satisfy.

fall deep into the fuck.


HAVOC
DISATISFY
BLOOD
STRANGULATION
MIS-INTERPRETATION
light the match

EMALFFLAME

impulsive explosive
wall on the writings

will you
do it

lustjoy
sexbigotry
incumbertrapless

shut it

fallsAddition
without Burn
chaot--ism

1
2
4
drop

order
distorder
triv--1

moon gray
alpha b1ood
sheik
lustfuck

7531
omegaprime

w0rd
n0t
tripoison

ulteriorsweetKiss
smazeSick
angst
wil dissimilate
ace² duce¹
n0t

move On
sexiFaggot
smoke

MethaneBromineIod9
Ir0nScent
biomass
biofuck
biodisgust
l0ve it
v0mit
Bleed

breath
t1me
Ñever
suffocate

sadistic
wArleust
creativityFuck.

"The human race is nothing more than a parasitic disease on planet Earth.
This world will before long purge itself of this horrible infestation.
I can hardly wait!"

~God


ha.

so i turn around
marlbro
winston
pall mall
salem
benson & hedges
parliment
and of course their light & ultra light counterparts

each stacked so nice and perfect
as if it loaded with candy
no
an addictive drug

lets give one to the kids
one by one they inhale like flys
drop, drop, drop
twenty years from now 6ft under
or should i say in the ash tray

pathetic
4,000 chemicals, which includes
43 carcinogins,
& 400+ "other toxins"
most of which you find in your cleaning cabinet
oh! and in your lovely bug killing Raid

care for some butane
arsenic
cyanide
DDT
lead
chocolate

well here's a cigarette
enjoy.

and yes, i did say chocolate.