lovee ittt

This blog is for my own venting purposes so you can choose to continue to read on or not..i could care less..i just like writting here when i want type something that’s on my mind.

I just finished talking to my grandmother a few minutes ago and her words really touched me. I mean i even cried. She can never seize to amaze me on what a beautiful and wonderful person she is. We were talking about her writting and then it lead to her telling me the things she wanted to see her family succeed in before she passes.

She was telling me how she knew I was going to be ok in whatever I do in life. She told me that I was a good person and that just being the good person that I am I was going to have a good life. And she hoped that when she passed God would let her be my gaurdian angel.

I mean I guess I got all emotional because she was talking about her dying and all that, but also the fact that she seemed so certain that I was going to be ok down the road. Words can’t describe even the closes bit how greatful I am to have this woman in my life. I would honest to God be so lost if it wasn’t for her.

She reminds me to always keep my head up, and that I AM a good person. I don’t know why so often I doubt myself and why I am so afraid for the future. I just feels good to hear her say that.
"your going to be ok"..."your a good person" for some reason I dont think i ever 100% fully believed that, but now I do. I don’t want to be afraid of the future anymore.

I’m not perfect nor will I ever in this life time be. I just try to be the best person I can be and give back whatever I take from this earth. I don’t want to take anything I have in my life for granted. Ever. I realize that I don’t need a lot of peoples reassurance.

My grandmother, this woman, who has sacraficed SO much for me is the only persons opinion I care for and she is my reasurrance. She reminds me daily that giving to people and loving people for who they really are (faults and all) never goes to waste. It only makes you a better person.

I now know that I will be ok. She has made many things that I have tooken for granted so easy for me. And i will never take those things for granted again. Several times she has guided to the right direction when i almost took the wrong route. She’s helped me trust my gut and push for what i really want. Because when it comes down to it only I can make things happen for me in my life, no one else.

I have to strive for what I want. And I will.

I’m just thankful really. With that simple conversation me and my grandmother had; she’s opened my eyes a lot more. And i love her even MORE for that. I can never get over how amazing she is and how I want to be at least as half as amazing as her at some point in my life.

I guess that’s all i really wanted to write. I feel a lot better.

So yes...i was just sitting here in my room..watching rented movies
and talking with family..

and i just had one of those moments were i just feel so thankful
and greatful...earlier i was in such a pissy and bitchy and bratty
mood and i just stoped right now and thought to myself

"what the fuck am i bitching about" seriously..i have a good life
i really do..i have such beautiful and interesting people in my life
who i know care about me and i deeply care about them

i have a roof over my head..im not starving, im healthy, im not ugly, im not stupid,
and i have everything i could want and need

im excited for the future and i know its going to be great

just wanted to share that with you guys...i think everyone should always just sit
down and think about their life and realize that life isnt really all that bad theres ALWAYS
people who have it worse than you do right now at this moment

yes i am so thankful...and tomorrow might be horrible or it might be great..but i know that
theres days and days after that so i know i dont have to worry :]

I didnt write this myself..i got it from some other chicks blog..but i like this so yea read it all....






6:16 PM - 003.

Sometimes people come into your life
And you know right away that
They are meant to be there.
They serve some sort of purpose
Or help figure out who you are
And who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be-
Your neighbor, child, long lost friend, lover
Or even a complete stranger
Who, when you lock eyes with them,
You know at that very moment
That they will affect your life
In some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you
And at the time they seem painful and unfair,
But in reflection you realize
that without overcoming those obstacles

You would have never realized
your potential strength, will power, or heart
Everything happens for a reason
Nothing happens by chance
Or by means of good or bad luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity
All occur to test the limits of your soul
Without these small tests,
>whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships
Life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere,
Safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless
The people you meet who affect your life
And the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are
And even the bad experiences can be learned from
In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart
Forgive them.
For they have helped you learn about trust
And the importance of being cautious
to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you
Love them back unconditionally

Not only because they love you,
But because they are teaching you to love
And opening up your heart
And eyes to things you would have
Never seen or felt without them.
Make every day count.
Appreciate every moment.
And take from it everything that you possibly can,
For you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before
And actually listen.
Let yourself fall in love.
Break free and set your sights high.
Hold your head up
Because you have every right to.
Tell yourself you are a great individual
And believe in yourself
For if you don't believe in yourself
No one will believe in you either.
You can make of your life anything you wish.
Create your own life
And then go out and live in it.
Live each day as if it were your last.
Tomorrow is not promised