Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 19
Sign: Aries
City: los angeles / san diego
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/30/2005
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
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Current mood:  good
stop for a moment,
stop everything.
after you read all of this, i want you to follow the steps mentioned below,
and tell me the result.
before you can go on, you must approach this with an absolute open mind, or it won't work ..
now...
turn off the sound,
and make sure you're comfortable.
........
........
[ now close your eyes ]
completely loosen yourself; relax.
calm yourself, stabilize any unsteady or imbalanced emotions and thoughts.
start from the head, and work your way down to the toes.
clear your rational mind of any conscious thoughts being produced,
and once you have successfully done this,
i want you to then listen to your mind. again.
except this time, pay attention to the background messages, conversations, analyzations, revelations, and etc that are actively participating in your subconscious (or as some people call it, "the back of your head")
once you feel that you are somewhat in subconscious territory,
think of the number 11.
think of the stars [in space]... try to visualize them as you would see them on a clear night's sky: visible, beautiful, protective, watching.
imagine this planet, our planet, Earth, and visualize it engulfed in a kind of "awakening light".
think of Oneness with each other, as a collective of minds working with each other in unison rather than separation.
now look at yourself from a 3rd person's perspective,
and imagine yourself being engulfed in this "light", or energy; whatever word you choose.
.......
.......
.......
in that immediate nanosecond of time,
tell me what did you see?
what did you hear?
what feeling[s] did you get? [phsyical? emotional?]
did you even understand the language?
did it seem like you were a camera overlooking a different world?
get goosebumps?
feel an urge to do something, even if it didn't seem practical and coherent?
or did you immediately understand something that used to never make sense?
perhaps find the answers to questions you never asked?
or maybe you've suddenly started to ponder something you wouldn't otherwise think of free-willingly. . as bizarre as it may be?
....Do you even remember?
[ be warned! ]
your conscious mind will try to rationalize or elaborate on whatever you've just experienced but don't allow that! stay focused! be wary of everything but more importantly be truthful to yourself!
!!!!!!!! ALSO !!!!!!!!
this has nothing to do with any religion, belief or "-ism" .
this small exercise simply has to with the higher self,
essentially it is about you.
if none of this makes sense to you, try it anyways.
see what happens.
♠ pass this on, if you like.
[light&♥] ,
. d ♠ | | i e
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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Current mood:  energetic
Upcoming events. . .Are you ready?
WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE IN SAN DIEGO? [ gothic / industrial / electronica ] [ & any similar sub-genres ]
[ confirmed: ]
Host for Voltaire & Ego Likeness, April 19th @ Channel 1225
[ in progress: ]
* something for 2008 :) [ dark cabaret/spooky & ebm ! ]
[ past events: ]



Future Acts Send me a message / comment / etc on who YOU want to see perform here [currently for San Diego]. . 
> >If you are interested in playing, Send riders & info to puppeteer@marionettegrounds.com Messaging is okay, e-mail is preferred.
This blog will be constantly I have been promoting many, many bands since I was 12. . . many are now well-known, such as The Birthday Massacre, Lunarclick, Fluffy Starr, Kill Hannah, etc. . And now I am booking! My mission within the music industry is to book bands of the latter genres to San Diego [whilst I live here], or at least elaborating more on what we already have. People from all over the nation have made it to the shows I've put on thus far. See? It's legit ;D So be on your guard for bigger and better events. . .& to fucking dance. . . & then some Oh yes.
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
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Category: Music
Friday the 13th. . . couldnt've been better spent with Voltaire & the incredible duo that is Creature Feature <3! So let me just tell you how it went. . . I got there early, met up with Larry & all us behind-the-scenes people. . . the Hot Monkey Love Cafe looks better now than it did before. . more furnished. . comfortable couches :D Before we knew it tickets were being sold at the door and Rick came to ask us if we had any more tickets. Why? They mo'fuckin sold the fuck out is why. Super quickly. But we oversold a good amount more. . & still had to deny people at the door. It made me squirm with joy seeing a huge crowd outside waiting to get in. yummeh ! Bla bla bla wasted time :D Ironically CF had a piano in their dressnig room. so they played spooky tunes, ahaha. .as we dined on some fetuses. . fetii. . .plural? that we picked up at a local CVS on the way, the whole shebang~ I introduced Creature Feature, aaaaaaaaaand they didn't come short of incredible :D Voltaire came on later on, gah it was so packed that people sat in the lounge and watched the screen <3 Thus follows some photos by Larry Darkman [Gothic San Diego] & Ruslan [DarkPrinceStudios] : [ before the show. . . ]
   [ the show ]        Voltaire's pretty funny ;b    haha joel. thumbs up!1! [ after ] L to R top row - Curtis Rx, Erik X, David & AnnaMarie [Trepid Designs] bottom row - Larry, Voltaire, Moi, Ruslan Crew/Music :D   L0LZ!!!!  he did it first ;x  wierd smile :D voltaire cracked some joke. . I don't think anyone got it. it was something sarcastic, so i responded "I'LL KILL YOUUU RAAWWWRR" .  fighting. but it looks like waltzing. :I  can you look more drunk? aha <3 we went to denny's after. . . .can't find the pics D: OH WELL many more pics on GothicSanDiego.com <3
It made me so happy that everyone was just vomitting joy and excitement. AH FEELS GOOODDDD >:D ! I also met so many of you myspace hoes ;b I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to any of you for more than a few minutes or so, it was sooo hectic :s this is where you leave a comment about how you wish you came. xxx,[d o | | i e]
 | Currently listening: Wrack and Ruin By Hocico Release date: 09 November, 2004 |
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Thursday, November 09, 2006
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Current mood:  optimistic
so as many of you know, i'm Hot Monkey Love Cafe's new gothic/electronica/industrial club promoter. . . i held my first show on October 27th. . . twas a Halloween show, "Ghoul's Night Out". the turn-out wasn't that bad for a venue that just moved to a new location, me bringing in a new scene, & not realizing that i was indirectly competing with other Halloween clubs going on that night. ones with a bar [didn't matter. plus HMLC may have a bar in the future, hah!] many people couldn't come due to stupid things in the last minute, but it's all good. this was kind of a tester, but i recieved amazing feedback from the crowd. . .they all said they wished they had more of this scene in San Diego. . THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR DURRR♥ the line up was:1.] Project Noir [didntbook]2.] Ikonoklast3.] Element A440 [i'm very very happy to say that everyone was into element. . why wouldn't they be?]4.] Creature Feature [the ultimate ghoulish band] CreatureFeature got stuck in L.A. traffic for 8 hours. holy fuck. because of that, we had to start the show at 10. . . a few underage folk had to leave come 1am becuase of curfew or something. overall, i think the atmosphere was great, and i expect better in the future shows. . not to mention, i have amazing lineups starting January & on. check the blog above this one for current setlists and now for pictures![before the show] what better way to start off the night than having a random photoshoot of Halo in element's u-haul. .thanks for messing up all the time, you stupid ;> [robot?!] [. . . .] [gasp. . he smiles? sshhhhh] ["KATIE DO SOMETHING :D"] [why does this not surprise me]okay. . .after 2+ years of talking to miss Erika. . . .WE FINALLY MET. AAHH GOD I PISSED MYSELF. in an imaginary sort of way ahaha. . .. i fucking love her. i simply cannot wait to see my partner-in-crime again♥ then erika, halo, & i attempted at taking a myspace picture. no erika, -1 no halo, -1we fail. /endrandomness: [hayley & ethan] [laura aka Peggy] [inna & alex][the show!]ikonoklast:   [w/ Halo during "REBIRTH". um, fucking amazing song :>]element a440: [random.]    

creature feature:




 ..


 [one of CF's photographer friends sitting at my feet >:D]
[after the show!] not enough pictures :T
 [i dunno why, but i think of holding a newborn when looking at this. that or a scared erika. nvm.]  <33  [werm of ikonoklast. creepy :D]   [Katatonic, new element drummer. she was badass<3]
i had suuchhh a fucking amazing time, & was happy & almost surprised to hear that everyone was into it. it would've been bad if only half the crowd was into it like at many somewhat-unfamiliar shows. although, the night went by too quickly. . . i hope to finally meet many of you in the future :]
for videos of the show, visit my youtube & subscribe to it too, if you think you're cool.
that is all, [d o | |]
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006
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Current mood:<3!
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
there are still more pictures to come [not as many]. . .but these are all from my 2nd Sunday in Harajuku in Tokyo. . .my dad found me the Yoyogi Park entrance [which is a bridge], where a lot of fruitsy/lolitas get their pics taken for magazines & stuff. this is disposable-camera quality, since my digital is broken. enjoy<3 
tester pic. .woo. .random store! 
these on are on the popular/main street in Harajuku 

my dad likes catching insects & giving them to me [dragonfly]. umm i have a wierd face! :D *drumroll* 
outside of the McDonald's bathroom. .haha. . 

random unnoticed jrocker in the corner. .? 
i think it's a boy :0 *nods* 

that totally reminds me of how i pose with friends. awe. . 
this group was so much fun<3 [the guy is cuter in person] 
?!?!?!<33 




my dad wanted to be a part of the picture. .ookay. [hehasawhiteshirt&bag] 
afsdlkfjdas. i'm sure they were boys. . .<33333 yeah so, for those of you who don't knwo where i get a lot of my inspiration & style from. . .HERE! i need better myspace pictures though. more up later. . .what do you think? ;D [ <3 d o | | ]
EDIT:  Akihabara. .manga district! this building had 8 floors of anything manga/anime

 each floor is so bigg! so much stuff :]
 my 1st sunday in Harajuku. . before we left, not layering as much as i wanted to. . . it was so fucking humid though. p.s. my hair is way longer


 inside of one j-rock store :>
 more stores
 in the Marui Young store [see previous blog]. .floor of shoes. APPARANTLY NONE OF MY OTHER PICTURES FROM THIS BUILDING EVEN TOOK!?!?! and i used a disposable too! wtf :[ sorry, no pretty lolita or mana stores :'[
 fruit. .roughly $30 for the left crate i think :< that's all there is that's really interesting in our pictures :>
enjoy~ xxx[ d o | | ]
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Monday, August 21, 2006
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Current mood:  artistic
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
i just went to the Marui Young/Oi Young/i dont know building in Shinjuku....4 floors of all lolita/streetfashion. . .
[[ floors 5-8 ]]
5.] Moi-même-Moitié, Flower [run by an incredibly hot aristocrat girl], another very AliceIW. store.
6.] Street/EGL~EGA/J-Rock/Punk/ Clothes & Music.
there was even some cyber wear *unexpected*
7.] MANY SHOES, Algonquins, Black Peace Now
8.] Baby, the Stars Shine Bright. all Elegant/Babydoll Lolita
[[ if you want a list of all the brands i saw, i have a map & can list them for you ;> ]]
mmm. . . Mana's Moi-même-Moitié store is GORGEOUS. i took pics... its SO victorian, the only mini 'shop' on all 4 floors that was actually decorated gorgeously. the walls were stone, and the name was indented on the store...and the font was a gorgeous royal blue light shining through; same goes for the church-like blue windows inside the store. on the ceiling, there were fake blue roses everywhere all entangled with eachother..in fact, blue roses were EVERYWHERE... and need i say, the dressing room was a GIGANTICCCCC black COFFIN. i orgasmed :>. i dont know if i got a photo of that, though, as cameras arent allowed. . . :< but ah...god.. it was gorgeous. it almost looked like how i want my future room to be u_u
point is, i bought the midnight blue ruffly parasol with the remaining of my money for $44. and am quite satisfied with myself. that & i have an incredible & infinite load of inspiration for drawing & sewing. it's the same inspiration i would get in america but seeing the people & etc in japan just made dream come true [of coming here]. . .so i'm pretty set.
<333333333 ill be sure to scan pics when they get developed....and definitely do some fashion shoots when we buy a new digital camera ;>
i wonder what im going to do for our last day..[tomorrow].. suggestions? :l
that is all,
[ do|| ]
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Friday, August 11, 2006
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Current mood:AFLJFEWAIOJWAEPOIGAFDLAKSFDA
FUCKKKKK everything i just typed got deleted.
so im just going to c/p an excerpt [sp?] from a msg i wrote to a friend ;D
"<3333333333omggffffasdg;sjfask kay i totally spelled 'omfg' in the wrong order KAY SO BASICALL ITS REALLY HUMID BUT BASIALLY IS ERAJFDSALFJAS FUCKING AMAZING :DD there are like NO foreigners, seriously., its like 1 out of every. . .i dunno...i wanna say ov er 500 people that you see. but it realyl isnt a lot. of course, im all streetfashion c ompared to my parents, who are just Euro/Metro. and i know that japanese love western stuff, especially you know, our eyes and all. <= did cool makeup...and even in thoes japan travel guide things we bought, it said to not be surprised if we recieve glances that last a good 2-3 seconds longer than normal ^_^ true, except they sreiously all looked at me like :O and 80 or :xx but in a good way, you know. not really my parents. ahhh<3333333333333i saw like asd;fkaslf jalisfja........3 lolita girls, btu they werent so layered up b/c its humid and hot, but i saw gothic aristorats too ^_^ a couple girls. . .there were 3 jrock girls in a 7-11 we were in ahaha<33 omgasldfjasf;jasr fETH COOLESWT ACLOTHESSCLTOEHFSLHTLWCLOTHESSSSS i tried asking if they spoke english as an excuse to talk to them, but they didntttt. this girl had a white jacket on that resembled a straight jacket, buckles everywhere,but nothingy ou'd see in america [at least not currently]... if you thought LIP SERVICE was amazing, well. youve just failed miserably haha. oh god, i cant believe im here..it almoswt seems normal seeing all the streetafshion [we werent in harajuku or anything, we were in SHINJUKU today. and ther were SO many business people with cool haircuts,a nd a lot of them were young and attractive..and eee cute schoolgirls and uniforms..eee<33] because ive got magazines and pics from online and stuff, so wheni see it in person its like, im used to it. it hasnt hit me that they're breathing people with souls O_o and pretty clothes. . .oh god<33 "
oh, we went to Yodaburi [?] Camera store. the biggest discoutn electronic store in tokyo or something. and, i went to the dvd section, and found... PARADISE KISS DVDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS there were about 4 chapters in each dvd, and there were only 2 dvds... it was fucking $40 for one dvd .___. but...i dot know..i havent seen them anywhere online to sell in the usa or e ven stores, nor do i know if a) it'll sell in america and b) if the japanese version has english dub or subtitles. oh well. imf ucking getting it oomgg.
okay so, the food is incredible. aaanddddddddddd tomorrow im going to SHIBUYA <333333333333333 so ill get to rob all the stores.
did i say rob?
i meant buy :D.... ahh. i hope its not like a bajilliion dollars. and then sunday. . .HARAJUKU X______________X
im going to DIE just about a MILLION TIMES. and i wont rise again after the millionth time, cuz the process will just repeat itself and i'll get lazy of dying so much haaha.
ee . . .talking to people in japanese is so fun x_X;;; i love everyonee ;_; i just wish it weren't so humid.
well. . . that's all for now :D i'm watching japanese tv, waiting ot go out to eat somewhere.
so leave me comments and msgs and stuffs ^_^
reporting out,
xxx [ d♠|| ]
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
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Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry
I wrote this for a school exam [inclass essay], but i didn't want to lose it. The theme was to write about a small experience you had that made you realize something about the natural world. . . [something along those lines.]
--------------------------------------------
We are believed to be human, we are believed to be real live, breathing creatures constantly in motion. It seems to the vast majority of the world that humans are as superior as it gets, that we may overcome most difficulties. People have forgotten that we have been in fact lingering on somone, even something, else's planet as if it were our own, and we carelessly leave our mark on anything and everything that would ensure us our ownership of this earth.
I have always had a strong connection to nature; to all sorts of plants as well as the diamonds of morning dew cast on the petals of flowers and branches of humming trees. I decided to pause the activities i had been doing one day, and to simply sit and relax on the silky grass with my back resting alongside an old tree trunk. There had been bushes with glossy red berries around me, as well as a handful of grasses and greens; some flowers, too. I closed my eyes and felt the aura of the tree behind me. I felt the life of the greens beneath my bare feet rise up and embrace me. All so quickly had my mood shifted and become relaxed, dreamy, satisfied. I don't think I could've felt any happier. Maybe it wasn't even happiness, but secretly I had been rejoicing inside, knowing that I've discovered an old realm within this planet and had befriended the original inhabitants which aided in the creation of all life.
At that moment I had compared myself to the rest of human civilization, "the superior race". I laughed to myself and pondered the true weakness humans posses. Compared to other beings, souls, presences, and whatever it may be recognized as, the human race has been conclusively nothing more but a mere speck in time, and even that would be embarassing to count. When I thought about everything that had accommodated the seed from which our earth sprout, it felt more lively than anything i could imagine. This ongoing era of nature almost infuses in people its knowledge and wisdom, and a whole new meaning to the term "power" is awakened.
I shared memories of ages past and listened closely to the secrets being told from the old tree behind me. The reincarnations of flowers were scattered around my silhouette, and I realized that it felt like home. I am sure that the world and the many varieties of lives that inhabit it would now feel complete if only everyone was aware of this "different realm". When humans let go of their selfish egos and bind to power, then should that bind unravel, their eyes will open and perhaps they will discover the true meaning of life that everyone so desperately ponders.
"It feels like home, it feels like home," I whispered to myself. It felt like home because we, the humans, are the birth, and Mother Nature is the nuturer and eulogizer to this human episode.
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If you have any comments. . .please share them with me. <3
xxx,
[ d o l l ]
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Monday, August 29, 2005
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