You were once the source of my pride and joy. I treasured and cherished you. Your very existence bring joy to me. When I'm sad, u cheer me up. When I'm bullied, you stood up for me. The bond so strong, the time so right. I thought it would be forever. Everything seemed so perfect.

Now you are the source of my fears and tears. You attacked me ferociously. Your razor sharp words brought pain and guilt to me. Every step I try to take ends up with your relentless strikes hitting through. At the point in time. Everything broke. The bond. The trust. My hopes.

When others strike, all I felt was physical pain. When you did, I felt nothing but felt the decimation of my will, my heart. When others strike, I retaliate. When you did, I can't. You're my weakness. You knew that and you assaulted me. Your words hit through my defenses and I couldn't even summon the courage and will to retaliate because I love you.

I cant let you go. I thought I could but I failed. Memories of you lingers in the deepest part of my mind, where it will stay for a long time. My grip weakens, my vision blurred. Inevitable ending. Tears fall. Hopes tarnished. Dreams crushed.

How long can a man take before he falls under...forever...

Over and over,
I made the same mistake
Over and over,
I regretted my actions.

Falling into it
Knowing the negative consequences
Act of stupidity
Foolishness.

Tired of it
Losing my grip
Off reality
Off life.

Fighting never stops
Feelings never stop
Disappointment never stops
Tears never stops

If it hurts
why indulge in it?
If one never tries it
One has never lived.

Life is a journey. From the day we are born, we are marked for certain death. The only question lies in how long are we allowed to go .. we die. Death is merely a pathway, a gateway to another world. A world of void and senselessness. Its not the end that will matter, its the journey in between. As all journeys, there will be companions. Some companions will walk with us for a longer part and others, a shorter one. However it is only those that matter who will leave foot prints in our paths.

These companions serve as our morale support, our line of retreat, our comrades. When we are feeling low, down or unhappy. You can be sure they will always be there for you. As the going gets harder, these companions will stick by you against all odds. Even when it appears all hope is lost, all when the last path seems to disappear, the companions you have will help you clear a new path to go on. We can always seek support from them, for we are a companion to them too. They are what completes us.

It is in life that we meet these companions, in death we mourn the loss of these companions. These companions are our siblings that fate forgot to give us at birth.

These companions are friends.

Wrote this during lessons on my handphone...

I love you.
Never told you seriously that.
If I die tomorrow.
Will I regret it?
Will you still remember me?
I nearly lost you.
I will never let you go now.

Everything I am.
Something you will see.
Someday, somewhere, somehow.

When you love someone, you never thought they hurt you. Why do I still look at the photos even though it hurts so much. Why do I watch all the videos, records that brings back so much undesired memories and tears. Because I can't let go.

I used to tell people to let go of the past and embrace the future. However it doesn't work out. To let go is to forget. And I can't keep my mind off that person. Every slight reminder will get me thinking about the things that happened between us.

I still remembered the times when I would chat with the person for a long time. I still remmebered everything we did. I still remembered how much the person meant to me.

Why do I get hurt again and again repeatededly. No matter how hard I try, I still can't let go. Perhaps the love was anchored too deep in my heart. Perhaps I am just a weakling that should never have dabbled in this.

Only regret I got was that, I never cherished the person. I was such an idiot, to love and not cherish her.  I still love that person and still will for a long time. Hopefully, someday, time will erase those memories and heal up the wounds.


_____________________________________________________________




"Whatever it Takes" - Lifehouse

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

What would happen if I die?
What would happen?
Would anyone shead a drop of tear for me?
Would anyone even  notice?

Would i still be the celebrated person amongst my mates.
Would I be remembered for my loves and hates.
Would I be carved in my mates’ mind.
Would memories of me just go blind.

Would anyone care?
Would those I love care?
Would those I hate care?
Would you care?

If I die today
The world would end for me alone.
Amongst 6 billion people,
would the loss of me matter?

I am just one.
One of the six billion people
living a wretched life
No one will care.

Ages since we last spoke
Memories flooded my mind
Your leaving left me awake
Cold and alone
I wish to hold you once more
Just once more.

Photographs refreshed my memories
Your laughter, my tears
I wish I never did what I did
Its all wrong
I wish to hold you once more
Just once more.
~
It isn’t everyday I get to hold you in my arms
It isn’t everyday I get wake up by your side
~
It isn’t everyday i get to see your smile
It isn’t everyday I get to see your lovely eyes
I love you
I never will bade goodbye
To those grace of yours
You make my life shine...

Have you ever had this feeling that soem songs are meant for some people? That you think of them, the very moment you hear the song? Soemtimes, its with the loss of the person, then one will finally realise a certain song fits the person’s description. (in ur heart, ur opinion of course)

Just 2 days ago, a very treasured friend left. Well, everyone missed her. I however was listenting to that song ’gone forever". Thus, I kinda think its the song for her. She’s my best fren and she has this illness. Her going is for her own good. Thus I told myself its for her own good and i should forget her, but I can’t. She’s such a dear friend.

Ok, thats not the only case. There are other people who got a song attached to them, well those that matters.  =]  

Also, I find it dumb but sometimes, i feel that on9 m8s r more trustworthy with secrets. Perhaps its the distance that gives me a sense of security to confide in them. hmm I don’t know. If any1 has any good advice, please do tell me =]

Feelings can never be forgotten, onyl hidden. Even after weeks, or perhaps years, just a slight reminder can hurt your heart badly. To make one cry, laugh, smile, hate love, what does it take?

Sometimes I wonder what do people do when they love. Disappointingly, they take their partner as their belonging. Someone you love doesn't belong to you, only the love belongs to you two.

I love you, never want to let you go. I wnat to hold on so tight even if it crushes the breath out of me. Cuz I love you and will always do, no matter what.Despite the fact that we hurt one another, I do believe there's still love and I never want to let you go, but I can't hold on anymore. Sometimes, I guess it has to be all in my heart and my dreams. I love you.

so what if i never hold you or kiss your lips again, so what...does it matter anymore?

I have never told you
How much I love you.
I love the way you glance at me,
The way your sweet smile
Makes me feel all so happy.

You are my beautiful baby
My one and only princess.
I swear to make you happy
Every single day together.
We should be forever.

I never thought we be like this.
Hatred and suspicion between us.
I am sorry for what I have done
I am sorry I couldn't take it back
I am sorry I loved you.