So I just got done reading the book "it's a break up bc it's broken" and I have been reading it off and on since July since that was when me and Matt broke up for the 3rd time I think lol. Anyways, after reading it I feel so empowered and confident. I know how cheesy is it to say that after reading a break up book that I feel kick ass. Well, if it is sooooo what. I have realized that Matt and every other asshole I have dated have been the best/worst things that have ever happened to me. I have realized what I have personally done wrong in relationships and realized how to prevent that from happening again.

Well, this is gonna stop bc I am not gonna be someone's door mat any longer. Matt really opened up my eyes to realize that I settled so much with him and every other guy. I'm so proud of myself, which I deserve a damn standing ovation lol, for moving on without him. He's not coming back, I'm never going back to him, and I got rid of everything that reminds me of him. He hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me, but I be damned if he's going to continue to hurt me in my future.

Fuck Matt and every other guy out there that thinks that I'm not smart enough to get into law school, fuck every guy out there that thinks that I don't deserved to be treated like a princess, why waste time on guys who won't open doors for me, won't take me out and be romantic, and people who verbally abuse me. Matt really opened my eyes to the mistakes I have been making in relationships and I have been so good to wash my hands of him and every other guy I am going to date.

I am not going to settle anymore, if I see red flags in a beginning relationship then I'm going to know that they're there for a reason and to get out quickly, I'm going to make sure that I have someone who adores me, and make sure that I adore someone as well.

Why not let myself know that I deserve the best in a relationship, if I'm going to give the best of myself to someone else? Why give the best of myself to someone that can't give me the best of them? I'm not going to be in any dead end relationships any longer bc they're pointless.

life is hard, but even harder with shitty people like my ex matt. men call women crazy bitches, but what exactly makes us crazy? You know what makes women crazy? Men. Men do not have the balls to tell a woman that they can't handle a real relationship and can't do it in person bc they're nothing but pansy's. I've never met a man in my life that can do that. Are there any out there? Like, I'm not hurt or upset that I broke up with the sorry bastard. I'm just mad that he cried to me everytime we'd talk about his ex and then what does he do? he cheats on me with her. like seriously matt, wtf? I know you're not that intelligent, but damn.

I'm done dating though. I need to focus on my career and my life. Not when is matt coming home, what does matt want to do, when am I gonna see matt again. No more matt thank God! I'm so glad I don't have to put up with the bull shit excuse that "i'm not ready for a relationship" even though he's been fucking around with fat ass up in the 256.
 
I'm gonna make myself happy though. I've really lost myself this year since I've been with matt. I thought relationships were supposed to be like a bonus to your life, not a fucking rollercoaster of pain.

Starting tomorrow I'm doing everything for me. I'm going to study more, go tanning more, go out more and not fee bad! I'm going to paint my room too :) I'm painting my room sex in the city blue like the blue that carrie painted after she got dumped. hahaha what a coincidence except i dumped his sorry ass. i'm also getting my hair trimmed on friday and i'm getting blonde highlights.

I'm really ready for just new beginnings with happier endings. I also bought that body fitness dance video that you see on tv lol. I've been wanting to buy it since i love to dance and it's so fun.

I just can't wait till karma bites matt and all his sorry friends in the ass. everyone that knows him it seems is two faced. i'm so glad that i have the real friends that i have. bc i know they'd never betray me. whatever though. matt has his ugly cunt up in huntsville. i just find it really hilarious that she cheated on him with tons of guys, but he's dumb enough to go back to her. whatever. i deserve a hotter boyfriend with a hotter body and hotter car. not that any of that matters but it's a plus ;)