It's been a while, what's going on in my life right now -

-I need a job
-It seems like Dustin is avoiding everyone but Abbe,as far as I know
-My girlfriend does nothing but get pissed at me, but tells me "she's done fighting"
-She tells me she's not gonna change, but seems to expect me to
-I have news for you, I'm not
-I need money
-I need cigarettes
-Britny seems more like my mother everytime we hang out
-Last time we fought, Britny said something about me being mad at her for her ex-bf, no, but since we're on the topic, I never threatened to punch him the head
-I'm kinda sick of her saying "sorry I have a life"
-yea apparently you do, and it seems I'm not included
-When was the last time, not counting Vegas, that I did something w/o you, quite a while, was supposed to be Mark's grad party/wedding reception, but no, you bugged me to go, you bugged me to ask Terri if you could
-I'm sick of hearing her complain about her sister not coming to her 16th party, yea, life sux, we know, and as the song goes, You cant always get what you want, Many of us have had something like that happen, get over it/deal with it.

Wow, three months already.  It doesn't seem like that long.  There were/are some people out there that thought that Britny and I wouldn't last this long.  We have proved them wrong, and for those of you who think we won't last much longer, we're gonna prove you wrong too.  I love her, with all of my heart, and nothing will change that.  Here's to us Britny!!

Happy Three Months!!

I knew i would screw it up, I had that feeling this entire past week, i knew something would go wrong.  I just knew it.  I am cursed in relationships, i swear.  My last two lasted just two months, but hopefully Brutny and I can get back together.  I love her to death, I really do.  I will always love her and she will always have a place in my heart, even if we don't get back together.  But for right now, my heart is shattered, I'm still sick to my stomach.  At least I was able to eat lunch. Couldn't eat breakfast, ate 2 bites of cereal and almost threw up.  At least i stopped shaking, lol.  Any way, I'll wrap this up, ummmm, yea so whatever, lol. There i wrapped it up, lol.                 

                                         Ain't Love Grand, by Atreyu

It's so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head
It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong

Gutted like a pig
All you want is the world to bleed
Someone somewhere stole your desire
The pain akin
To being punched in the throat
And stabbed in the chest

You would rather bleed than be without her
Gone are the tender whispers dancing in your ears
Replaced with lackluster memories you cry
Your screams play in your empty room

It's so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head
It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong

Your bed swallows you whole
As the days bleed together
Torment on the lips of a loved one
And if you try hard enough
You can almost taste her
Feel her pass and scream OH GOD WHY ME
You would rather bleed than be without her
Gone are the tender whispers dancing in your ears
Replaced with lackluster memories you cry
Your screams play in your empty room

It's so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head
It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong