You look ridiculous:

Open your cell phone's "Address Book," transfer all of the numbers into an actual address book, toss cell phone into the sea.

Noise for practically nothing:

Look for the Alesis ModFX line of effects at your local second hand music shop and/or eBay: Bitrman (a comb filter/bit reduction box), Metavox (a vocoder), Philtre (a resonant filter), Phlngr (a flanger... lame!), Smashup (a compressor), Faze (a dual phaser) and Amplitude (an autopanner), all of which can be beat-synchronized, chained (via 9-pin side-jack) and had for around $30.

The best part is because no one bought them when they were originally issued (about five years ago), the units on the used market are essentially new!

Billy Childish voice for cheap:

Track down a Shure 545 microphone-- it's got the same sound/range of a Green Bullet, but is inexplicably inexpensive (we bought a pair for $21).  They sound like shit and we can't get enough of 'em!  People should use these all the time for everything.

Save yourself the $33 + shipping:

Do not buy an Altec NOALA ("Noise Operated Automatic Level Adjuster") on eBay because you think it's some kind of workhorse compressor (it has "LA," as in "LA-2A," in its name) with the character of Altec's 400 series (it bears a passing [knobless] resemblance to a 436) that no one has heard of (an NOALA?  What?).  It's none of these things.

To be fair, it does have a nice VU meter.

Homebrew multi-tap delay for around $60:

Purchase 2 cheap Analog Delay pedals.  In each, remove screws, open chassis, find solder points associated with output, solder in an additional pair of wires, solder new wire terminals to new 1/4" output jack.  Drill 1/4" hole in side of cheap Analog Delay pedal, fasten new 1/4" output jack in opening, close chassis, replace screws. 

Patch organ into cheap Analog Delay pedal #1.  Send output 1 into Mixer Channel 1, send output 2 into cheap Analog Delay pedal #2 (same modification).  Send outputs 1 and 2 of cheap Analog Delay pedal #2 into Mixer Channels 2 and 3, panned hard left and hard right.

Repeat process as many times as your budget allows.

Add spring reverb generously.

That "Bootleg Motown" sound:

Patch microphone into Channel One of spring reverb.  Patch Channel One of spring reverb into Channel Two of spring reverb.  Patch Channel Two of spring reverb into Track One on four track.  Raise gain level until all LEDs are lit.  Press record.