Well, as all of my close friends know, I haven't been having too great of a week. My life the past month or so has been miserable except for a few things.
I'll start off with the first downfall of the week. I was at band practice...Doing my usual thing, being sexy band leader and what not (not i'm ugly), and me and a few friends were at nathan's house for lunch (kieu, me , josh, candy, and nathan.)
So chandler texts me telling me some girl was at the band room looking for me, and thought it was my sister..I'm like wtf?my sister lives in NC..So we go back to the school after filling up water balloons (which i suck at) and i get my stuff set-up and jessica sat next to me. I asked her why she was here and she whispered in my ear Anthony Parks is dead.
My first thought was unbelievable. I about broke down in tears right then and there.. I really couldn't play the rest of the day. Also, the story she told me was unbelievable. For those of you who don't know, Anthony, Kenny , and I were all very close growing up. Anthony was like a brother to me.. We lived 2 houses down from each other for 8 years..We played football everyday outside together
jumped on my trampoline, did anything we could just to have a good time..and now he's gone?I thought to myself, no way..He can't be gone..Why would anyone kill him anyways? He was an awesome person who could truly want to kill him?
My mind was going 100 miles a second and i couldn't believe anything was going on. Everything was just a blur to me. So i get home, get ready for work and go to work until about 5:30..I then watched the news with my parents..and it was confirmed..Anthony Parks was shot in killed the night before.
I didn't know what to think..I ran out of the den with my mom and dad chasing me..but I didn't stop..I took a very long walk by myself just to let things seep in *idk if thats a word*
So i walk around, crying..not knowing what to do or think..So I came back home and laid in bed for a bit just thinking and not knowing what to do anymore..So the first person I call is Jay to see if he's even talked to kenny yet..
Jay found out the same thing too, but he was at work crying just as I was. He told me he couldn't believe it and we had a little conversation. So we thought we'd go over to kenny's house and talk to him and his parents and see how they're doing.
His dad told us the full story on what happened from the girlfriend's persepective, and it was a little fishy. But I'm really not going to get into that or the story. Anyways we stayed there for a few hours just talking and remembering our child hood, and remembering anthony.
I missed them so much, it was just like a family reunion..all of us back together..But that one piece was missing..It was Anthony..I still can't stop thinking of him..We were so close, and he was so young and had so much to live for. Kenny if you are reading this, you know i love you man..You know I'll always be there to the end.
As me and Jay are leaving, anthony and kenny's mom comes up to us and gives us hugs and says thank you for coming and says she misses us..Then she just broke down..Me and Jay had no idea what to do so we just stood there for a good 5-10 Minutes holding here..crying with her..It's probably the most emotional I have ever been in my life..
Anyways it's been about 4 days now, and Tuesday is his funeral. Idk how I'm going to hold up, but I'm going for him. Like I've said before he was like a brother to me, and I'd do anything for him... We weren't as close as we used to be back then, and we rarely talked..and thats what hurts the most..
I wish I could've seen him one last time..and just talked to him one last time..It's just ridiculous on what people do in this world for a few dollars. It's a bunch of bullshit, and I can't even explain my rage towards the two people who killed him..I can't even begin to think the rage Kenny and his family feel towards the killers..It's just ridiculous and I;m so sorry kenny..
Back on to the horrible week..There have been so many conflicts with my personal life right now, and my closest friends know what they are..But i really do not want to reviel them right now. Theres been fights and such between many people and I'm trying to avoid it as much as I can..I'm just trying my heart out to get life back on track the way its supposed to be. Hopefully soon it will go back to the way it was
My oldest brother, Chris, has made a few decisions I have not approved of, but he's a grown man..What can I say.. I really was hoping we would be as close as we were when he lived in Washington..But now that he has moved back to Oklahoma, it's like we don't even know each other any more..
He keeps to himself way too much, and is always sick and hurt.He's getting back with his wife, which is not a very good decision in my opinion, but it's his life. I just hope he made the right decision and I can't wait to see the kids again.
Like I said this world is ridiculous, people getting killed over a bit of money..People killing each other because of "gangs" or this guy calling the other guy a name and they want to fight..I really don't care..It's all stupid. I guess I'm just nagging, but seeing a personal friend die just enrages me so much that it's hard to hold my anger inside anymore..
I seriously don't get the point of life anymore, you either live a good long life, or you die a short one due to someones selfish actions.I just don't get why people are so selfish..I know sometimes I'm not the greatest guy in the world, but I try to help as many people as i can and I try to be as nice as I can..Yeah sometimes I can be an ass, but thats when someone treats me like an Ass..
Life is too short to be living a bunch of lies..It's also too short to be sitting around doing nothing at all with yourself. Make sure you get out and do something fun..Have as much fun as you can.. Make sure you're safe..there are many selfish people, and they don't care who is in their way..They're going to get whatever they want.


Anyways, enough complaining and feeling sorry for myself, I thought I'd just update everyone on whats going on in my life..
To those of you that are very close to me...which is really only 1 person..Thank you so much. You know you're my world and I'd give anything up for you..
I really love you a lot and please, just stick by my side.. Hopefully soon I'll become a better person and do what needs to be done..
And to that one person..please don't ever change..Don't ever lie to me..

Sorry for the long read..if you read it thanks a lot..it means you really care for me :)