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Last Updated: 11/24/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 35
Sign: Gemini

City: Las Vegas
State: Nevada
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/5/2005

Blog Archive
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Tuesday, July 08, 2008 

Current mood:  numb
Yeah.... so this is a little darker that the stuff I usually drum up... but I was in an especially twisted little mood this evening and let my mind wander off to a bit of a place where I can see things in a much more base and simple light.... please don't take my musings as a sign you need to discuss therapy options with me to cure my blackness....

JV
-----------------------
The anger I pound into the wall is palpable as the blood runs down my fingers.... I feel
it drip, hot and wet and my knuckle splits further with each crushing blow... the force with which I can propel my arm does little to the object of my malice... but it soothes my brain.... which is racing... 100 times faster than when I made my misstep.... and now my only solace is my fist, and my blood, and a wall....

Some might argue I am troubled... an idyllic freak with no semblance of the cacophony of multitudes that compromise right and wrong... but I think they are fucked... the ones who adhere to some other-worldy guidance as their bell weather of right... I hold to my own constructs... my own wishes... my own me.... I hold to what I find true... and at this point... the only thing I can think, is removing the overwhelming frustration that is at the front and center of my brain and that seems only to dissipate as I smash my bleeding and fractured hand again and again into a wall that shows no concern for my feeble attempts at its destruction....

The pain is rising.... I feel the nerves in my hand scream in anguish as the jolt of lightning resonates throughout my wrist and forearm and climbs ever so swiftly to its exsanguination point just below my elbow.... I think it is dead... my hand now limp, no longer able to pummel that wall and just a meek semblance of its former self... I have destroyed it... and I feel the storm releasing from my brain..... but it isn't vanquished... the foe that resides in my head will not depart yet even with the destruction of its main proponent....

Alas no, I find a yell.... deep within me a noise resonates from my stomach in a sound that can only be described as a groan cum shriek..... it crashes forth from my mouth at the same instance my left hand strikes the wall that had been the object of my rights barrage only moments earlier.....

Blow after blow rains down until the familiar pattern starts again... the blood... the warm... the laughter of mania as I beat what one normally uses as a more modest tool into a wall that has no mercy on human flesh or bone....

Repeated poundings until this hand too is bloodied and frail and fractured and I laugh wildly as I whip myself in a semi circle and fall backwards crashing my shoulder blades into the wall with such force that I tear through the thin t-shirt that covers my torso as the wall catches my fall....

Sliding downward with my back against the wall I feel the grating edges of the stone rip hundreds of mini scratches into my back and I crumple to the ground in a pile.... knees bent at a hard angle, my limp arms to my sides and leaning halfway to the right as I hold myself somewhat on the little strength remaining in my tattered right arm.....

I'm laughing and crying simultaneously.... I hate, and scream inside, while at the same time loathing myself for my outburst.... deep breaths exhaled rapidly from lungs as my mind continually races wondering if I can control myself or if this display is some wild cry of desperation... hoping for someone to take notice and give enough of a fuck to rescue me from what I find to be abhorrent in this world....

But there is no one like me... no one that understands and no one that will ever truly give a fuck... is there....and so I cry again as the realization sinks in deeper... I am all fucking alone... I am nothing but an essence that will never be understood... I am trapped in my own mind in my own world of shit and so dearly wish for anyone else who can connect.....

But I won't, and it won't, and there never will....

So I'll remain... and will my missteps... and will this me....

And the wall and I will meet again.... and again I will fail... and feel all that I am....

Which is nothing.....



Sunday, March 16, 2008 
So yesterday while checking my messages between printing tees and getting them ready for the post office, I got a quick message from a girl that read as follows:

Mar 15, 2008 6:07 PM
Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: No Subject
Body: Hi, how are you?

Well... not really much of a message, so I skipped typing up a response figuring when I had a second later in the weekend I’d fire off a quick missive.... I wasn’t exactly friends with the girl more than I was with anyone on MySpace and we had never met, so I wasn’t feeling exactly obligated to drop everything and respond to a message that took her all of 10 seconds to compose.....

But lo and behold, it was only a few short minutes later (30 actually) that she noticed I read her query and hadn’t immediately responded and so she sent a second message reading:

Date: Mar 15, 2008 6:37 PM
Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject: No Subject
Body: Yur so fuckin’ rude, I feel like deleting u now, which is what I’m gonna do!
LEARN MANNERS !

What....???? Wow.... I am honestly astonished... who writes a 10 second message with no useful content and then gets bothered that somone else doesn’t drop everything to respond to it....

I have had minimal communication whatsoever with this girl and frankly I thought I was being pretty cool in responding to previous inane messages she sent that were equally succinct and pointless....

Who knows... people are freaks and entirely too unbalanced if they give that much of a fuck how expeditiously I respond....



Friday, December 28, 2007 

Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
Hey kids, we just pushed a new site live at FunkJungle.com and all tees prices have been slashed down to just $9.99 for the first few weeks to spark some sales....

Go check out the site and pass along any feedback you have....

Thanks for the ongoing support and definitely take a look at some of the new offerings... more gear will be added to the site shortly and we should have hats, booty shorts, and more in the next several weeks...

Visit the site at http://www.funkjungle.com or go friend the new profile at http://www.myspace.com/funkjungle


Thursday, November 29, 2007 
For those of a lesser political bent, this is just a quick little line to make you aware that the former Representative from the Great State of Illinois has finally kicked the bucket... though this brings me nowhere near the joy that I felt when poor old Rev. Falwell departed to meet his maker, Henry was a wonderful villian and played the role of asshole full well....

His tenure in Congress was most noted for his rancorous opposition to abortion and for his tendency to insert silly little amendments on various appropriations bills that limited the government's ability to fund any type of abortion service.  On libertarian grounds I am not entirely opposed to keeping the government out of funding medicine in the first place, but if we decide we are going to be funding things, I don't think we should be injecting God and religion into the debate to decide what type of care we provide....

Anyway, aside from Henry's propensity for playing the God card and trumpeting his moral authority as an Irish Catholic.... what most folks might remember him for is leading the impeachment proceedings against then President Bill Clinton.  Hyde held the hearings and lambasted Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky while word slowly leaked out that he had a similar affair some thirty years earlier when he was roughly the same age as Clinton.  His response was one of the finest in politics dismissing the sordid tale of cheating on his own wife as a, "youthful indiscretion..."

So alas, I don't really care for Harry and as he and the Falwell's and the other religious asshats slowly fall off the earth I take a simple second or two to rejoice in their departure....

And if any of you actually care or have read this far feel free to swing by bOffensive.com and pick up some t-shirts with the coupon code "deadhyde" and get 25% off....

Cheers --

Johnny
Tuesday, October 09, 2007 

Las Vegas – Adult apparel vendor bOffensive.com today announced a deal with Online Retailer  Gamelink.com to offer a selection of sexually suggestive t-shirts and baby tees on the GameLink website. The addition of 22 baby tees and t-shirts will more than double GameLink's offering in apparel, and make GameLink.com the only other online retailer of bOffensive apparel outside of the company itself.

"GameLink is a top notch retailer and has a huge reach with it's broad affiliate network," said bOffensive.com founder Johnny Vegas. "I'm ecstatic to be able to help GameLink.com increase their offerings in apparel, and being a part of the GameLink.com network will enable bOffensive to greatly expand our online reach."

bOffensive has retailed a variety of t-shirts online since launching their website in 2001, however wholesale distribution was primarily directed to small adult stores and other retail outlets. "Expanding our online reach and continuing to expose individuals to the bOffensive.com brand is important to our long term sales, and GameLink provides an excellent vehicle for us introduce many more adult buyers to our products without the difficulties associated with placing product in retail storefronts," said Vegas.

The products selected for inclusion on GameLink.com include top selling baby tees, I Love Black Cock, I Kiss Girls, and popular men's t-shirt Vaginaterian as well as 19 others. In total 22 new products will be added to the Gamelink.com catalog as the online retailer begins to increase its offerings in apparel and novelties and taps a market that was previously underserved.

"The bOffensive tees are a great fit for our site, and will significantly increase our offerings in apparel. As we move forward, we hope to further enhance our offerings in Toys and Apparel and the inclusion of bOffensive is the first step in this process," said GameLink Buyer Naomi Ramos.

On the Web:
http://www.boffensive.com
http://www.gamelink.com

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 
... you can't get anymore boobies in your face....

The City of Bunning, FL has just proposed Ordinance 2007-41 which will require all patrons of "Adult" clubs to sign a contract before obtaining a "Lap Dance."  Included in the contract are to be the client/patron's full name, address, phone number and date of birth, as well as the same information for the "Dancer."  Said contract will also highlight a brief description of the "Dance" to be performed and the rate for the performance. 

Are you fucking kidding me.... ???? Is this shit our government really needs to be mucking around with.... was there some mass concern from the citizens of Bunning to build a database of all the men in town who liked titties in the face.... (ummmmm.... I'd venture a guess of roughly 100% of the non-gay adult male population....)

C'mon you freaks.... this is more bullshit being peddled to appease the wack job religious sheeple who feel that if we can shame people into giving their name maybe they'll stay home and remain sexually repressed and never have a prurient thought....

I'm going to be in Tallahassee later this year for some football and I hope we can make a visit to Bun-Town so I can wear a fine "I Love Strippers" t-shirt and go proudly sign my name that I like tits in the face...

Fuck off Bunnell.... it would be great for some of the members of your council to get affected by "real crimes" like robbery or homicide whilst debating and pontificating on the nastiness of boobies and the men who ogle them....

Fucktards....

Friday, August 17, 2007 
Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised... as I seem to stand in stark contrast to the vast majority of the populace on a whole host of things.... but what has got me started on this little rant today is the vast proliferation of the inane posting and reposting of videos everywhere online... and especially here on MySpace...

This blog generally is to point out my annoyance at seeing the same lame ass bulletin 50 times on my home page posted by every fucking ninny on MySpace.... there is no real thought in the process, just some retard cutting and pasting the exact same post that his friend sent him... and even worse, at least 75% of this drivel is useless YouTube videos of some nonsense....

If you folks honestly need to repost something because you deem it to be important enough to warrant such action, I'd expect that you could at least offer some commentary as to why you are doing so.... maybe a brief introductory paragraph explaining that this video is imperative to watch because, "Insert reason and relevant commentary here..."

Or perhaps you could be so kind as to go really out of the way and make a brief summation of the content of the video and then delve into the ramifications and implications inherent in allowing something as important as this video to go unwatched or unacted upon.... hell, a good write up with intelligent commentary and a link to the video would inspire me to a grip more action that trying to wade through the 50+ bulletins you post daily with embedded video only....

I don't like TV... I don't watch it at home... I don't want to see it online... I actually quite enjoy reading and having nuanced arguments... the fact that no one seems to want to do shit except regurgitate someone else's propoganda makes me come to the conclusion that a vast majority of those posting bulletins are fucking idiots....

Cheers kids,

Johnny
Friday, June 29, 2007 
This is usually attributed to Kamerschen @ U Georgia, however he explicity denies authorship on his page so the origins are a bit ambiguous.  Regardless, it is an interesting little read and generally explains the fallacies inherent in the rhetoric of the "Anti-tax cut crowd." 

Enjoy --

Johnny

********************

Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:


The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh $7.
The eighth $12.
The ninth $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20."

So, now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So, the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six, the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share'?

The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being 'PAID' to eat their meal.

So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four! ! men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Europe and the Caribbean.

-->  If you actually took the time to read this, here's a coupon for 20% off at
bOffensive.com --> friendspace <-- Good through 12/31/07
Friday, June 08, 2007 
Sin City Retailer bOffensive.com announced a sale today to coincide with the early release of Paris Hilton from jail on a probation violation.  

"All men are created equal," said Johnny LasVegas, founder of the company, "and Paris shouldn't be the only one to profit from the Hilton name.  As such, we have added a coupon to our site, to give all online shoppers 50% off any Pop Culture tee when they use the code 'Hilton' at checkout."

The retailer offers tees fittingly appropriate for the both Hilton supporters and detractors including Legalize DUI and I Beat Anorexia as well as a bevy of others.  See the full catalog online at http://www.boffensive.com. 
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 
Sin City Internet retailer bOffensive.com today announced a three day sale on Anti-Religion apparel to celebrate the death of the Reverend Jerry Falwell.  

"Some folks are of the opinion that the dead should be revered. But when the 'Good Lord' calls home one of the most bigoted, asinine, and homophobic hate-mongers to have walked the earth, I think it is cause for celebration," said company founder Johnny LasVegas.  

"This is the same guy that claimed AIDS was God's Wrath, and that 9/11 was more retribution for America's sins. We should be happy he is gone, and folks that are mourning his loss are much more the cause of America's problems than the ACLU, feminists, or gays will ever be," he continued.

The company has ruffled feathers before and receives a regular stream of hate mail from individuals who oppose the blatant messages printed on their tees.  From angering Muslims with tees depicting the prophet Mohammed, to bashing illegal immigrants, the small retailer has made foes of a wide array of groups.

Visitors to the site can get any Anti-Religion tee for 50% off by using the coupon "falwell" at checkout.